YOU DO NOT HEAL BY UNDERSTANDING YOUR TRAUMA
You heal by feeling safe enough to stop repeating it
Not reverting to your old coping mechanisms anymore is how you break the cycle
You want to understand because understanding gives the illusion of control
When we go through pain our mind kicks into overdrive trying to make sense of it. It’s the mind’s way of saying If I can figure this out, I can prevent it from happening again
Sometimes there isn’t a logical answer that will make the pain go away because it had nothing to do with you. And trying to intellectualize everything can become a way to avoid feeling the things that actually needs to move through the body
We try understanding because it’s less scary than sitting in the unknown. Stop trying to solve everything like a puzzle and instead start soothing the part of us that feels afraid, abandoned, unworthy etc
You don’t need another explanation
You need a hug
A deep breath
A new boundary
Or someone who looks at you and tells you that it wasn’t your fault
Because it wasn’t 🤍
"And I was so young when I behaved twenty five Yet now I find I've grown into a tall child"
One of the hardest parts about trauma is overcoming hyper-independence and understanding that you don’t have to do everything by your own strength. That there’s no virtue in suffering and doing everything entirely on your own. That it’s okay to have expectations for how you want others to show up in your life, and those expectations don’t make you a burden. That having faith means letting go of the belief that everything is in your hands and instead trusting your future to someone greater than you.
Overcoming hyper-independence is a journey in itself.
wanted to post this on it's own because i spent so much time on it...
I’d love to embrace a more feminine style. Could you recommend some brands to help me build my wardrobe?
Acler.
Alémais.
Alexis.
Alice + Olivia.
Baum und Pferdgarten.
BAQA.
Bec + Bridge.
Chloé.
Claudie Pierlot.
Dion Lee.
Dodo Bar.
Emilio Pucci.
Erdem.
Etro.
Faithfull the Brand.
Farm Rio.
For Love & Lemons.
Ganni.
Giambattista Valli.
Gigii's.
Goja.
Hemant and Nandita.
ILA the Brand.
IRO.
Isabel Marant.
Johanna Ortiz.
Jonathan Simkhai.
Kate Spade.
Khaite.
La DoubleJ.
Lily Pulitzer.
LoveShackFancy.
Lug von Siga.
MaxMara.
Maje.
Missoni.
Miu Miu.
Nackiyé.
New Arrivals.
Oops Cool.
Other Stories.
Paco Rabanne.
PatBO.
Pinko.
Poupette St. Barth.
Rebecca Vallance.
Reiss.
Rixo.
Rococo Sand.
Rouje.
Sandro.
Self-Portrait.
Sézane.
Shona Joy.
Siedrés.
Solace London.
Staud.
Temperley London.
The Kooples.
Tory Burch.
Totême.
Ulla Johnson.
Zuhair Murad.
Zimmermann.
Best mineral rich waters 💧
💎 Best Overall (High Minerals + Electrolytes)
Gerolsteiner – Highest mineral content, rich in magnesium, calcium, and bicarbonate, great for hydration & bone health.
💧 Best Still Spring Waters (Purity + Alkalinity)
Mountain Valley Water – Naturally alkaline (pH 8.2), high in minerals, glass-bottled to avoid plastic contamination.
Eternal Water – Naturally alkaline (pH 7.8 – 8.2), electrolyte rich, sourced from underground springs for clean hydration.
Voss (Norway) – Low mineral content but ultra-pure with a crisp taste, great for clean hydration.
🪨 Best for Electrolyte Balance & Cellular Hydration
San Pellegrino – Naturally carbonated, high in sulfates, which support digestion.
Icelandic Glacial – Super alkaline (pH 8.4) with a smooth taste and low mineral content.
🚀 Best for Deep Cellular Hydration & Detox
Sole Water (Himalayan Salt + Water) – If you want the ultimate DIY mineral-packed hydration, mix Himalayan salt with spring water to replenish electrolytes!
next time if you ever feel like falling back to old habits just remember this
personally, there's no better motivation than remembering that there's probably many people out there who don't want me to succeed.