Yandere Bacteria (Backrooms Monster) Head Cannons

Got 👏 my 👏 schedule 👏 back 👏 on 👏track 👏 with 👏 the 👏 anime 👏 challenge 👏 before 👏 my 👏 posting 👏 gets 👏 drop 👏 kicked 👏 again 👏

Might post some Yan content soon, cause I have no other ideas lol.

Out of all the thirty days today’s day specifically is my favorite sports anime. I’ve only gotten invested in Haikyuu!!! And heard a bit about Blue Lock. So, because of this, Haikyuu is my favorite sports anime.

But it isn’t totally because it’s pretty much the only anime I’ve ever seen thats sports-related. But like any good anime, they build interesting characters and have suspenseful moments. You can get really hooked onto the lore and the people, being inspired to go out and play volleyball just by reading it!

The banters are funny too and can really add depth to the characters. I also love how they educate you a bit on volleyball. I’ve always wanted to be a volleyball, and this helps me fuel my motivation too even though I don’t have a team or what not to play with, and I’ll likely forget them. 

Overall this is a great anime and I highly recommend watching it and all of the action.

not dead, just last weekend did a huge double show and have been staying up late for self care. So have an image :)

I noticed by art skill had been falling a bit so I tried drawing a cover of one of the books I had. I’m not sure if I’ll color it yet tbh.

Haha I wrote a long story while bored. It originally was a draft. Should I continue it? (Writers block)

Prompt: The Coffee Shop Encounter: Your favorite characters from different fandoms accidentally meet in a coffee shop in the human world. What surprising connections are made? (Characters: Light Yagami - Death Note. Akira Howard - Astral Chain. Near - Death Note. Shuichi Saihara - Danganronpa 3. Ticci Tobi - Creepypasta. Jeff the Killer - Creepypasta. Kafka - Honkai Star Rail. Blade - Honkai Star Rail. Silver Wolf - Honkai Star Rail.) 

This story is told from Light Yagamis POV

I didn’t have much time normally. After all, the amount of the scum on this planet was detestable, and someone had to clean it up. What new god would I be if I took a break? 

Yet this was one of the vile times where I had to lay low. It was simply unfathomable to me why they didn’t want me to clean up this world. To make it pure.

Though right now I had nothing to do but face these… requirements head on. And what wouldn’t look more normal than going to the new cafe that opened up? Maybe I needed to put my hand itching for a pen around a fork instead.

The walk to the cafe wasn’t that far from my house, and was actually pretty nice in comparison to huddling in my room with pen, ink, and paper. After all, I’ve spent so much time in front of my computer that I think my chair is exhausted of me.

The inside was peaceful, only disrupted when I brought a small gust of wind in with me through the door. Once the door closed behind me, I was fully inside the small cafe named “Sunlight”, having wood in shades of light orange on the wall, and contrasted by some shades of brown wood outlines for contrasting here and there. It was like they were trying to match their name, but in comparison to blinding ball of light in the sky, they actually set the mood pretty nicely.

The music in the background continued to faintly play as I walked up to the glass case, holding a myriad of different food with smooth white shelves. On the top shelf, a large, layered, circular cake caught my eyes. It seemed to be a strawberry shortcake, on the top layer along with the other cakes, its soft colors complementing the base it was sitting on.

I had come without an order prepared, not scouting out the place before as my dad might. Well, if he got any time off on the Kira case at all.

Even though the cake looked like something Ryuzaki would eat, it did look appealing so I placed it as my order and went to sit down. 

I let out a sigh and looked around, taking in the environment. The overhead fans continue to rotate, making sure the air wasn’t too hot and keeping the cafe at a normal comfortable temperature. It was a relaxing place to say the least, sheltering passerby’s from the bright sun overhead, while satiating their hunger with the knickknacks this place produced.

You may think that it’s weird that I didn’t come with my obsessive, modeling, and pop star “girlfriend” Misa Amane. After all, I wouldn’t be surprised if Ryuzaki thought our relationship was one sided, since he didn’t seem to understand why she was so obsessed with me in the first place. 

Even so though, it seemed like no one knew she was dating a college student that is the son of the chief of police. Which was surprising since it seemed like some peoples jobs to dig up gossip about others and spread it to the farthest corners of the earth.

It turned out that I wasn’t the only one sitting at a table alone surprisingly. You’d think that when a new place opens up, swarms of people would be all over it, with their curiosity getting the better of them. Yet a sparse amount of people were here, making it look like this was an undiscovered gem just gaining popularity.

The first person that caught my eye was one of the three sitting alone, appearing to be a male with messy medium-length black hair. He had a dark blue, form fitting, and dress shirt that had a gray chest plate with the word “police” on it in red. He had some sort of device on his left wrist, hooked to a gray pack thing in his back with a blue chain. It was definitely weird, or unusual as some may call it, along with the fact that his “police” uniform looked nothing like I'd seen before. There was a chance that this light-skinned police officer was from some police force that L hired, but that was unlikely. Ryuzaki would tell me if he did something like that, unless he thought I was Kira which would be a giant pain. 

We both seemed to be waiting for what we ordered, even though this “police” officer stuck out like a sore thumb compared to me. Though this man wasn’t the only one who looked out of place here. This cafe seemed to have attracted an interesting type of people.

For example, another person sitting alone was wearing what appeared to be an academy outfit, even though I didn’t know what school it was from. But to be fair, it wasn’t like I was touring all the schools in Japan.

The person was pale, and wearing a black cap with three white stripes lining the back of it. It also had silver star pinned near the front and from what I could see, he had short dark teal hair under his dark-colored cap. I couldn’t see his face then he was in a spot where he was looking away from me, but I could see his slim figure sitting in the wooden chair.

Though another person was sitting alone with the same shape of body like him, but this person seemed to be more like a boy then something you would call a “man” or consider a “adult of the male gender.” He kept curling his shaggy platinum hair around his finger, which was nearly the same color as his white shorts and pants. He was slender with fair skin, and honestly gave me the same vibes that Ryuzaki gave me.

I heard a faint sound of someone saying “thanks”, and when I turned my head to the direction of the sound, I saw the side of the teenage “policeman” face, his dark grey-brown eyes focused on the waitress serving him his order. Coincidentally, my order came to. And just like the “policeman” I thanked the waitress too before the plate with my cake was placed in front of me, and I grabbed my silver fork, prepared to start eating.

When I was able to get a small piece of the cake in my mouth, it melted instantly. The vanilla cream complemented the strawberries perfectly, adding a bit of creamy vanilla taste to the sweet strawberries. And the dough had been kneaded perfectly, making the sponge light and fluffy, perfect to easily slide down your throat as if it was a boat for the rest of the ingredients.

Unlike me, the white haired boy and the boy with the black cap hadn’t received their order. Instead, the child was piecing together a puzzle made completely of blank puzzle pieces, while the school boy was staring at the other seat in front of them, likely lost in thought. Both of the two were silent, along with me, observing everyone like they were animals in a nature documentary. 

The only talking was from the only group of three, muttering to each other in hushed tones. Two of the three sitting there had their back to me, with one of them wearing a short black coat along with a crop-top which covered the upper part of her body. She also wore a black unbuttoned shorts with a decorative piece of black and purple fabric that hung off her back, along with a white belt that has a game console attached at her hip. Without her stomach being covered, that likely meant that her navel was exposed, but I couldn’t tell, since there was only one person on the other side of them, giving me a clear view of the front of them.

He looked to be a man with fair skin, long dark blue hair with red tips, and red eyes. He wore an oriental-styled black tailcoat with red clothed insides and gray trousers. The tailcoat was embroidered with gold and dark blue colors, and he wears a black belt alongside a styled metal decoration on his left thigh. He was the only man at the table, sitting across from another woman.

This woman appeared to be young with red wine-colored hair that was tied in a messy ponytail with two loose bangs hanging on either side of her face. She looked older than the gray haired woman to the right of her, making it look like this was just a family out for a meal. And if they were, who was I to judge? Though they did seem a little more suspicious than a normally family would, you could easily tell from the gold and silver here and there that they were among the people that were a “higher class”. 

Though in comparison to the other party of people in here, they were actually more normal.

With the remaining taste of sweetness sticking around in my mouth every time I finished taking a bite of the cake, I decided to get a bitter drink to counteract it. I pulled out my phone since I didn’t want to get up and grab a menu, and began to scroll through one of there digital menus I had found online through google. Scrolling past rows and rows of drink choices, I finally found an appealing drink titled “Párizsban” which was actually the word Paris in Hungarian. 

Eventually I managed to flag down a waiter and get my order placed shortly before they walked to the back of the building. The drink in the menu was described as a “coffee with a light brown color, tasting of nuts while the top of the drink had a bit of frothed milk styled to look like the Eiffel Tower.” Whoever had to do the styling for the top of that drink definitely had me feeling bad for them, though they also had my respect to. Whoever was able to make a design like that using a bit of milk was very obviously talented, and could likely pursue a career of art if they tried hard enough. Though that wasn’t the end of the description, also talking about how they put peppermint pieces around the lip of the cup, trying to make the smell “alluring like the city of Paris is.” And also to represent the “city of lights” part of Paris, which was a famous description that it continued to carry.

Honestly the peppermint part seemed a bit slapped together, but this cafe just opened so you couldn’t blame them. They definitely had a good idea going here, it just needed a bit of refinement and touching up here and there. But what that couldn’t help, was the fact that the entire atmosphere was off set a bit from the group of two, sitting in silence.

The one with the back to me had messy brown hair that went in every which way, and his pale, almost gray skin was brought out by luminescent lighting. He was wearing a brown-blue hoodie pullover, a pair of denim pants, a black and white-striped face mask, and he had yellow-tinted goggles on top of his head. On his back there appeared to be an axe with blood that had rusted over, making my built-in-alarm-sounds I had gained from being Kira go off, screaming that he was a villain that needed to be killed. 

Times like these were times that I wanted Misa so I could grab the brunettes name, yet she wasn’t here and it didn’t seem like the cops were going to do anything either. They seemed to be so off-put from his uncomfortable aura that at most they just stared for a while before walking off. Humans were utterly disgusting.

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, focusing on the utterly horrific man on the other side of him. They were a pale, noseless man with long black hair and a Joker-esque grin carved into his face. They didn’t have any eyelids either, and had a slim fitting body to go along with his horrific appearance. The longer I stared at him, the faster my heart raced. And as I was staring at him he lifted his head, his gaze meeting mine, making me flinch instinctively.

Luckily though a waiter bringing me my coffee blocked my eyesight of him with their arm, taking my empty plate that previously contained my shortcake away. 

Thankfully though when my eyesight hit the terrifying figure again, he was back to eating again. Though I knew better than to continue staring at him, so I averted my gaze into the distance and began sipping my hot coffee with a heart that was definitely racing faster than normal.

-Once you’re gone you’re lost forever_

                                            ୧ ‧₊˚ 🍮 chapter three⋅ ☆

I woke up with a groan before I clutched my head. I reached for one of the staples in my morning routine - the tiny red pills that the suspicious trustworthy old man gave me. The sun shined through the window, painting my room in a golden light as I swallowed basically what was oval atoms.

When I placed it back on the table next to my bed, I frowned as I stared at the displeasing observation. More air was in the bottle than there were pills, and the voices in my head were back. I had never had voices in my head before I took the pills, but maybe I was going through a rough time in life and those sort of… developed.

I sat up with a groan, plopping another pill onto my tongue before it traveled to the base of my tongue and slid smoothly down my throat. I stood up with a stretch as the voices in my head got muddled into the background, signaling that the pills were working. 

I placed one foot in front of the other, descending down the carpeted stairs. Not to have breakfast, but to request a refill. After all, I mostly skipped breakfast every day, so I was used to the feeling of starving, so it’s not like it would hurt anyone. Plus my… medicine was more important than food, so I ended up marching out the front door I had just unlocked, before shortly closing it behind me.

The cold air hit my face, but I didn’t care. What I did care about was my blood. My lifeline. 

So as I left my porch and walked down my driveway, knowing my parents would freak out, but I didn’t care. Sure I had no sort of clue about who the man was, but I could faintly hear the voices in my head telling me where to go. Whether it was relevant to the destination I wanted to go through, that was a different story. Though I ended up actually listening to them and following them, which was ironic. Here I had been trying to block the voices out, but now I was trying so hard to listen to them that I was barely aware of anything else around me. But soon after I got my refill though, I’d be fine, and I wouldn’t have to listen to those voices ever again since I’d know where the old man was. After all, I’d stop at nothing to become purified.

I wasn’t able to hear the voices anymore after I stopped at a cottage in the woods, so I assumed I had arrived. It was a modest little house, with two floors and a little dead tree base near the front for chopping wood. Though I wasn’t here to admire the house set on top of green blades of grass, I was here for one thing. The man’s services.

Suddenly through his second floor window I saw him coming from the right side of the glass pane and disappearing after he wad walked past it to the left. 

“W-wait!” I yelled, jolting forward as my brain cleared of the thought that this might be the wrong house. Suddenly though, I tripped and fell flat on my face, the grass brushing against my skin. My right foot had gotten caught on something which caused me to trip, and it also happened to happen at the worst time possible.

Though my little kthud must of attracted someone, because a few seconds later I felt someone pulling me to my feet and dislodging my right foot from the ground. Somehow I managed to not retain any injuries, but the man in front of me still looked concerned with his worry evident in his eyes.

“Are you alright?” He asked, looking into my eyes. “You’re not hurt are you? I heard your scream from my house and instantly came running over.” 

Ah that explained it. He was the old man’s neighbor, which put him in my earshot of my scream. I hope I hadn’t screamed like a little girl, that’d be embarrassing.

“Yeah I’m fine, thanks.” I answered, feeling my hand twitch and dig my fingers into the air by my side. I had to get that refill, and soon. “I just came to visit my grandpa here, I’m sorry for bothering you.”:

The man’s brows furrowed in confusion, making me wonder if I had said something wrong. After all, I didn’t always feel in control of my body, so I wouldn’t put it past myself.

“No one’s lived here before,” He said, making my eyes widen in shock. How could no one live here? You just- but I just- I saw the same man through the window! Though I quickly composed myself, not wanting to seem more suspicious than I already probably do. “Are you alright? Do you need me to call your parents?” 

Chills ran up my body and my heart began to race a bit at the mention of my parents. I couldn’t even imagine the thought of them finding out that I was in this situation. If they did… it wouldn’t be pretty, so I needed to come up with an excuse so he wouldn’t send me home. After all, I’d rather be homeless than not get my refill. “Oh no you don’t have to! It’s just my grandpa moved and I was going to visit his house. My mom wrote his address on a piece of paper, and I must’ve read it wrong. But thank you for your kindness.” I tried my best not to sound nervous, but he still looked at me suspiciously.

“Alright, are you sure you’ll be alright on your own?” He asked, probably hoping something like the location mix up wouldn’t happen to me again. And judging by the fact that I pretty much screamed at nothing then fell on my face, I didn’t seem to be in the right state of mine either.

I nodded, wanting him to leave so I could get home soon. Adults always slept for a while on days they don’t have work, but they’d wake up at some point, and even an idiot would know that. 

He did eventually leave though, disappearing among the myriad shades of green. I waited until I couldn’t see him anymore before I walked to the front door of the cottage, shaking some dirt off of my right foot. I opened the door and let myself in, not hearing any movement upstairs. I needed to see the man and get my refill, but I also had to investigate and prove I’m not insane. So I took a deep breath, and with a newly cleaned right foot, I began investigating.

Name: I’m not going to give anyone my real name, so just call me Chalen! (The name of my Tokyo Ghoul Oc.)

Gender: They/them/he/him

Fav color: Pink, purple, and maybe white and black?

Likes: Death Note, Komi can’t communicate, Villains Are Destined to Die, Project Sekai,Genshin Impact, Honkai Star Rail, Outerplane, Epic Seven,Sword Art Online,etc.

Hobbies: Writing, mindlessly scrolling Tumblr 😃, grinding in games like Project Sekai, and art.

Hi I’m Chalen, someone with a notes app and a limited amount of storage that gets smaller each day.

I write a lot of fan-fictions, because I’m swimming deep in the 100000000 fandoms I’m in :D. Just like my fanfics, I also take asks and requests for my art as long as it’s not any of the following:

Stories:

Pedophila

Racism

Any sort of homophobia 

Discrimination of any kind

Incest

Art:

Nudity

^ These may be added too if I feel the need too! ^

This is a blog that will probably be full of many random things. For instance I’ve thought about going more into depth about the human and what drives us cause I’ve been reading books like that, or trying to answer the hard questions Death Note poses.

One of the most important parts of my blog is that:

⚠️ MY MESSAGES DO NOT WORK AT ALL⚠️ 

I appreciate seeing the little number go up by my messages, and imaging who may be messaging me, but it’s also sort of frustrating. I know that not all of you may not know about my technical issues with my messages, but it makes me sad that I can’t see what you guys are sending.

Instead, you guys are free to drop stuff off in my asks, and you have a 99% chance of responding to you! After all, I check Tumblr maybe with a minimum of once a day, so your ask has a high chance of being seen! (Seriously you could probably even send me your Starbucks order and I’d respond with something like “yum yum did you get me anything.)

I will do art and lore for your Oc too by the way! Like one of my favorite writers, @yandere-writer-momo says. “If there is a specific original character you have in your head that you’d like to come to life, just let me know. I’ll do my best to make it.”

This is the end of my intro for right now, and I hope you have a good day and know you are loved!

(Potential kofi here?)

Master list:

https://www.tumblr.com/magnificentdreamlandblizzard/746884220471869440/haha-i-wrote-a-long-story-while-bored-it?source=share   (A draft that got pretty long in my notes so I decided to post it)

Once you’re gone you’re lost forever:

https://www.tumblr.com/magnificentdreamlandblizzard/745248401755602944/once-youre-gone-youre-lost-forever?source=share     (1)

https://www.tumblr.com/magnificentdreamlandblizzard/745288124249341952/once-youre-gone-youre-lost-forever?source=share       (2)

https://www.tumblr.com/magnificentdreamlandblizzard/747052042724442112/once-youre-gone-youre-lost-forever?source=share (3)

https://www.tumblr.com/magnificentdreamlandblizzard/747052212866433024/once-youre-gone-youre-lost-forever?source=share (4 and might be changed)

For every note this gets, I’m going to post some yandere quote thing I’ve somehow scavenged up from the internet.

I do apologize for not posting again yesterday. I ended up using my free time to watch all of the music freaks and was going to post this night, but my friends ended up going out to dinner with me so I stayed out till like 11 pm lol. So because I ended up not having time yesterday, I'll do another double post today! :D

Today, on Saturday April 13 2024, I'm going to tell you guys my favorite female anime character. Though I can't mention one without mentioning the other, and they both happen to be from the same band. Yes, band is right because the two happen to be Ena Shinonome and Kanade Yosikai from project sekai!

Growing up, I had my parents divorce at an early age of 5. I can't really remember much, but it still is a sort of trauma for me. But that's not the only trauma I have. At an age of 12, I ended up getting mental hospitalized, also causing me to miss Valentines day.

So you may be wondering, what does this all have to do with the two anime characters?

Well growing up, not only did I have mentally abusive parents but I had around five to six mental disorders. (Dont worry my mom has stopped and my dad and I are working on things.) I won't reveal them because I don't fell comfortable since I've already told you guys so much personal information, so please don't ask me as that won’t end up well.

Anyway, I’m still trying to find my gender and place in the world, but that's not the point.

One of my friends has called N25 (my favorite group) an emo band before and I think that's one of the worst insults you could give them.

All of them have very meaningful and lore built backgrounds even though I may not have a full understanding of Mizukis.

But, my adoration for Kanade came before Ena actually.

It's very obvious that she's with depression, but she still tries very hard to get past it. Her work for a song to save Mafuyuu is honestly heartwarming. Throughout the story she shows strength and even in the story called “(something) discord”, she fights to save Mafuyuu so N25 doesn't lose her forever.

Her strength has been an inspiration for me, since I was hospitalized for being suicidal and self harming. During that time, I couldn't see my family which was honestly one of the biggest wounds someone could inflict on me. Sometimes I feel like her songs are meant to save me too.

Even though she doesn't actually “write” the songs because they're all covers, all of the songs are imbeded with deep lyrics. The one I think I can relate to most is “Bitter Choco Decoration” sung by everyone in Nightcord. Though the whole band is in a deep spot in my heart, because there songs are something I can grasp onto and they give me hope and perseverance to continue living.

And even when they're all not doing deep things and just hanging out, its still fun to watch there silly antics. Ena and Mizukis banter are fun to watch, it's nice to see Mafuyuu getting a much needed break, and overall there group interactions.

Plus Kanade is really pretty. (Looks are always a contrubiter to my simp qualifications lol.)

Now to Ena. Kanade isn't the only one whos strength inspires me. For example, some of my favorite events have these Ena cards:

(Idk this event :’))

On this black canvas I paint.

Also, I love the event where she teaches Honami how-to draw and paint.

Lets start with the first event that I don't remember, but it's one where Mizuki is the main person you follow. The picture is from where they talk on the rooftop, and Ena tells Mizuki that she can vent to her when she's ready, and that Ena won't push her. To me this shows how kind Ena is because she's demonstrating that she's here for Mizuki. She went up to the rooftop, and didn't stop in the story at all to support Mizuki, and made sure she knew she was supported and loved even if she didn’t feel like she could tell anyone. 

Even though there in highschool, this is an amazing amount of maturity. It sure how kind she is, caring for her friend and being able to tell when something is off. My friend was wrong when she called N25 an emo band. What they really are is a group of friends who have gone through tough things, and they try to support each other throughout life. It's something one could really admire, and consider there family that isn't there by-blood-related-family.

Now the one where Ena teaches Honami how to paint is registered in my favorite stories. It's on the light-hearted side, where you can see Honami, Ena, and Emu, hangout and see there fun and warm-hearted interactions. 

Through the storyline you can see Honamis insecurity with her art, and anxiousness to painting on the wall of a kindergarten. It's a fear I can understand, as every human is worried if being made fun of, yet even though Honami is a stranger, Ena agrees to help her out and even meet in person.

Throughout helping Honami at Emus house, Ena is worried about changing Honamis art style because everyone paints in a different way. It's because beauty and art has its own style, and she doesn't want to change here because it's unique. So instead, she teaches her how to assemble basic shapes into animals and it works, but when Ena goes home, she still wonders if that was the right thing to do.

This shows how much she appreciates others things, even if something may not look understandable from first glance. And I say first glance because she ends up looking at it more, and eventually makes out Honamis drawing of what she first sent to Ena - an elephant. 

So when Emu and Honami are finally painting the kindergarten wall, Ena rushes back over just when Honami is finding a girl getting upset for being bullied for having the same style of art that Honami had. So Ena walks over to the girl and points out the parts of the animal to the others, and even suggests things the girl can add.

She also encourages Honami to draw how she normally does, because now she sees that it isn't just blobs of paint or whatever, it's something if you squint hard at it. So even though the kids laugh at Honami, Ena continues to encourage it and even paints on the wall with everyone!

This shows how she encourages people and helps defend others. This adds even more qualities to the other kind type of person she is. But that isn't the main reasons why she has a deep place in my heart. 

It's a reccouring thing where Ena tries to encourage Mafuyuu to break free or stand up against her mom, providing Mafuyuu a bit of strongwill. I've gone back into the log and even screenshoted some of her quotes to Mafuyuu, because they were really inspirational to me. Especially since even though my friends say I'm like Mizuki, I feel like Mafuyuu sometimes. Her quotes help me feel like no everything is lost, and that there's hope yet, just like Nightcords songs.

Also in the event “this black canvas I paint” I feel really bad for Ena. She is trying to be like her dad who's a famous artist but he's said things like “you'll never be a great artist” and what not that brings her spirits down. Hearing that from a parent can be extremely hurtful, especially since she has a really harsh art teacher. So harsh in fact that she gave up, but she eventually does gi back because she wants to get better at art.

And her going back eventually produces the card where she's crying in the classroom, one that makes me feel sad for her every time I look at it. Though she continues and eventually her art teacher takes her aside and tells her that she actually has a really good talent for art, and that she's always welcome.

Despite the pain and people telling her no, she continues on being persistence and pursuing her dreams. It's an admirable trait, and I feel that her and I are the same in a way. Both trying to improve and worrying about our art, even getting some harsh feedback that brings our spirits down. After all, my dad is one of those brutally honest people, and there are many times in my life where I wish that I had Ena and Kanades bravery.

They both are strong and beautiful women despite there circumstances, helping each other and friends and pushing forward on steadfast resolves. They both and their songs have set many foundations for parts of me to build on, and have been inspirations and things for me to cling onto when I'm in a bad mood. I truly do not have enough words on how I appreciate both, and will continue to love them until the day I die. These reasons are why that if you ever seen my profile on colorful stage, I not only have both an Ena and Kanade card in my main party, but also there fan and partner titles in my status. I wish both of them as much blessings as they've given me <3.

*Cough cough.* Everyone ignore how long that was and I'm going to move on to question six, asking me what anime I've watched that in ashamed I enjoyed. 

Honestly, there isn't really any. There are certainly some games I've enjoyed that I'm ashamed to admit that I had, but if I had to say an anime, I'd say No Game No Life. I like it because I also want to live in a game world like they do, but am ashamed because the anime also contains nudity and sexual stuff sometimes.

I even have a memory where I brought a book from the series to school where I didn't look through the photos, and oh boy did I regret it. And I still do today, so much so that I'm never bringing it to school again. 

I pulled it out to read and one of my friends caught the sight of a character um… not wearing clothes. So my friends quickly stole it and looked through the pages. It wasn't pretty but it was especially embarrassing since they were loud enough to let the whole class know.

And let's just say, naked wolf man is a joke thats been stuck against me for a while. And that I've also learned an important lesson to check books before I go to school. Never again will something like that happen. Hopefully.

-Once you’re gone you’re lost forever_

     ₊๋ chapter two-࣭🎀

I woke up, feeling drowsy yet… purified. The mattress pressed against my back reminded me that I was in my room, and not falling. How I felt before I woke up and returned to reality.

I pressed fingers to my temple, trying to regain my sense of touch as I tried to repeat the words he said. I parted my lips and softly uttered them to the air, as if I was a doctor telling someone the side effects of their medicine.

“One to numb the hurt, two to ease the pain. Three to clear my mind, forget all my hate…” I trailed off, rubbing my forehead. 

What did he say next? I thought, trying to reach into the depths of my brain. I had forgotten the rest, yet I only remembered one more sentence he had said.

“Several weeks ahead, you’ll be fine again.”

And that was all the promise I needed to convince myself to continue taking them. Yet even that, I wasn’t sure was 100% what I wanted.

I aroused myself from my groggy state, walking as best as I could to my desk. I only had one thought on my mind, that I needed to hide the pills. I swiped them up into my hands and began searching my room, looking for an ample spot to hide them in. After all, I was lucky enough that my parents hadn’t checked in on me during my… nap, if you could call me that.

I hid them under a pile of clothes in my closet, my hazy vision barely letting me do even that. I still felt tired, so I left my closet, leaving the door open which is quite not like me. I was only able to make it half way before I laid down on my floor, my eyelids slowly descending until I was trapped in a veil of darkness. 

My eyes slowly blinked open, and I found myself in my room, but something felt… off. I pinched the skin on my right arm, and ended up feeling no pain. A dream… I thought, removing my fingers from my arm as I looked up, noticing that my desk in the corner was covered in medicine. 

Each pill was different colors, promising something different. Tiny paper cards promised different results, whether it was to cure my anxiety, ease my longing for companionship, or even help increase my self esteem so I wouldn’t have such degrading thoughts about myself anymore.

I started walking to my desk, a small part nagging at me. Telling me not to go near them, because drugs would only make my life much, much worse.

Yet like I had said, it was a small part of me and ended up getting overpowered by my sheer willpower as I started to down the pills like I starved child at a banquet. My mind felt blank, only focusing on the task at hand as one pill slid down my throat, then another, then another, then another…

My skin felt cold and at this point I wasn’t sure if it was due to how dead inside I felt, or my bodies natural heating. All of a sudden the door to my room was busted open, and two people covered in white clothing holding a stretcher came over. I was placed on it but I continued to guild down the pills in my mouths and hands as my body felt light and numb.

I was soon taken outside and dumped into an ambulance, being sped away from my home. This dream was so vivid, I was questioning if this was a dream at all. After all, my body was so numb I probably couldn’t tell if this was real just from sensations alone. 

As I laid on the bed inside, my brain felt numb but on cloud nine, and I couldn’t stop giggling. Along with that, I couldn’t stop fantasizing about self-medicating. Thoughts that I never have had before.

Soon though, the vehicle came to a stop and the doors were opened as I was hauled out. I was shaking slightly, as if I was a shivering cat while I was pulled through the double doors and into a hospital. I was labeled as “emergency care” by the staff before I was gently placed on a cot, and they hurried away after. 

I could only laugh at the fact. Emergency care? Why? I was just fine! I laid there, still shaking as I heard machines beeping in the background. I was still clutching a pile of multi-colored pills as my head was placed against the pillow and I felt unaware even of my own body. But as my body was trembling, a pill slipped from my hands and fell off the cot, landing on the floor without a sound. 

No! I thought, my heart racing as a burst of energy was sent to my left arm so I could reach out and grab it. But even though my brain commanded my arm to go forward, it didn’t, and it ended up staying in place. No no no! Frantic thoughts pounded against my skull as I stared at the pill capsule on the floor with wide eyes. Not my blood! Not my lifeline! I desperately tried to break out of whatever was restraining me in place, but to no avail did I move.

All of a sudden I sat up suddenly, sweating and panting. I did a double take of my surroundings and realized I was back in my room, awake. I clutched my head in my hands, taking deep breaths to calm myself down. Yet it didn’t work, nothing did. 

So I went to my only relief, the pills. 

I stood up and walked with a sway back into my closet and dug up my pills from there hiding spot. I dropped a few in my mouth then swallowed. I felt my anxiety be eased, and I pushed the lid back down sealing the container then I left the closet again - this time closing the door behind me. 

I laid in bed and felt that magical feeling take me again and I fell into a deep sleep that would make you suspicious if I had told you I had just sprung away afraid to die earlier. And that’s how my days basically went, taking pills to ease the pain. Yet that was just day one, and it got ALOT worse after that…

Continuing This Cause I Missed Yesterday

Hi guys! I’m sorry I didn’t do this yesterday, my account was glitching but now that I can get back in I’ll do two today to make up for yesterday, so lets go!

My earliest memory of watching anime has to be Sword Art Online, or as abbreviated, SAO. It has a lot of lore attached to it as they transfer to other games and what not, but the basis starts with the characters in a game called… you guessed it, Sword Art Online.

This game with 100,000 or 10,000 players ends up trapping them inside by the developer, Akihiko Kayaba. He traps them inside by making their headsets send electronic waves if they die, or the headset pulls off, killing them. It’s a great anime, and I highly recommend watching it.

Also along with it being my first anime, it’s also my first anime-joined-fandom, what a coincidence. It’s like my childhood show, and will always have a special place in my heart, and a small place in my wallet. (I buy many comics of it.)

ME

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