2. Romeus-Juliet-Mercutio Love Triangle, Mercutio’s Hand Is Cold, Romeus And Juliet Make Out

2. Romeus-Juliet-Mercutio love triangle, Mercutio’s hand is cold, Romeus and Juliet make out

On Juliet’s beauty:

At length he saw a maid, right fair, of perfect shape, Which Theseus or Paris would have chosen for their rape.

“Girl so hot she could get it [The Rape(tm)]!!!” -wrote no one ever, not even the Elizabethans. (Arthur Brooke is an outlier that should not be counted).

On the other hand, this is no doubt how Shakespeare got the idea of naming Juliet’s suitor Paris. I can just see him just choking on this line and just going “this will be a Thing(tm) now, sorry not sorry.”

Fair Juliet turnéd to her chair with pleasant cheer And glad she was her Romeus approachéd was so near. And th’one side of her chair her lover Romeo, And on the other side there sat one called Mercutio; A courtier that each where was highly had in price, For he was courteous of his speech, and pleasant of device.

Friendly reminder that Mercutio was initially a courtier interested in Juliet (!!!!). I can’t believe you would have a character literally named Mercutio and not make him the charming, mercurial little shit fun friend the name clearly implies. Thanks, Shakespeare, 11/10 change.

Even as a lion would among the lambs be bold, Such was among the bashful maids Mercutio to behold. With friendly gripe he seized fair Juliet’s snowish hand: A gift he had that Nature have him in his swathing hand That frozen mountain ice was never half so cold, As were his hands, though ne’er so near the fire he did them hold.

Mercutio soundeth like a fuckboi here, re: negative imagery with the cold hand. Even the lion one sounds a little predatory, although it could be positive; lions usually are positive symbols for bravery.

As soon as had the knight the virgin’s right hand raught, Within her trembling hand her left hath loving Romeus caught.

Aaaannnnnd Mercutio and Romeo are now playing hand tug-a-war with Juliet *war flashbacks to the New Moon scene with Mike and Jacob holding out their palms for Bella to take in the darkened movie theater and Bella in the middle being like -.-* This narrative poem is so wild, man.

(Also, is it significant that Mercutio claimed her right hand, Romeus her left? Traditionally, left is the “evil” side; perhaps this poem actually favors Mercutio after all?)

When she had longéd long, and he long held his peace, And her desire of hearing him, by silence did increase, At last, with trembling voice and shamefast cheer, the maid Unto her Romeus turned herself, and thus to him she said: “O blessed be the time of thy arrival here:” But ere she could speak forth the rest, to her Love drew so near, And so within her mouth, her tongue gluéd fast, That no one word could ‘scape her more than what already past.

They stare at each other in awkward silence for a long moment, Juliet blurts out, “I’m so glad you’re here,” and then Romeus sticks his tongue down her throat. #romance