I Wonder How Much Saltwater I Can Drink Up

-Fyodor Dostoyevsky, White Nights

"This is the season of holding on,

Of wrapping your hands

around the warmth of a dream

That refuses to fade

even as the cold settles in"

DAMN OK --

The weather is frosty—

breath trails like unspoken prayers,

straight smoke rising,

soft and sure as forgiveness.

The air tastes of sugar-glazed cranberries,

sweet but sharp,

like the memory of a love

too wild to tame,

too tender to forget.

Every step crunches,

a hymn beneath winter’s breath,

the world stitched in frost,

its edges trembling,

alive with the silence of waiting.

This is the season of holding on,

of wrapping your hands

around the warmth of a dream

that refuses to fade,

even as the cold settles in.

Brb-gonna-go-have-a-solo-acoustic-guitar- sesh-while-the-birds-sing-with-me-core

(That's my baby btw^)

Me when I've got a handful of shenanigans:

You don't understand

— Franz Kafka // Richard Siken

Please take care of my darling for me, old world of ours. Please give more smiles than scraped knees. Good tears, and dancing, and rainbow lights scattered along the ceiling. Give dappled sunlight beneath leaves of whispering green. Give windows-down nights and wind through dancing hair. My darling belongs to the sunrise and the star speckled sky. Be kind to my darling, dear old life of ours.

-from me to you🧸

After hesitating for forever to share poems online (like my overthinking brain usually does) I finally posted one about how I was feeling at the time. One of my moots on insta told me I inspired her to start writing poetry again. Moral of the story is, do art and be bold, bc you never know who needs to see what you create. Even if the only one who needs it is you. That is important and that is enough.

This is your call to action.

Intriguing...

Have any nightmares lately?

This figurine represents the Baku (獏 or 貘). The baku’s story originated in Chinese mythology as the mo (貘), believed to resemble a giant panda. It later evolved into a nightmare-warding figure in Japan.

Early depictions illustrate the baku as a chimera with the trunk and tusks of an elephant, the ears of a rhinoceros, the tail of a cow, the body of a bear, and the paws of a tiger. While this version was said to ward off pestilence and evil, its dream-devouring ability emerged later in Japanese culture. By the late 18th century, the baku as known as the guardian of sleep. One legend describes how a child waking from a bad dream could call out, “Baku-san, come eat my dream,” repeating it three times to summon the baku.

Folklore warns that calling the baku too often could have consequences—if left unsatisfied, it might consume not just bad dreams but also the person’s hopes and desires.

Image: Baku, Mythical Animal. 18th century. White porcelain (Hirado ware), H. 7/8 in. (2.2 cm); L. 1 7/8 in. (4.8 cm). The Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Somehow, my boss is like Captain Holt from Brooklyn 99, and as foretold, I'm becoming such an Amy Santiago ....