hockey cole đ«¶đ» love him sm
Unable to see pictures of Pedro in TUWOMT with the shotgun without thinking about how thatâs what Dinâs face looked like under the helmet when he used the pulse rifle
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Moon Knight episode 5
Oscar Isaac as Poe Dameron behind the scenes of 'Star Wars'
(via ig @Disney)
Alastair is yammering away like he has been all night in Deanâs head but jokeâs on fucking him, words donât make any sense right now. He was singing the birthday song for a while but itâs just sound now. Dean is the type of drunk where you start losin track of the meaning of words. People say shit to you and they sound like a cartoon playing backwards. Colors are upside down. The floor is moving. He always panics when he gets here. Heâs got blacking out on purpose down to a science, but sometimes he takes one shot too much. A step too far. Itâs a balance, yeah? You wanna be senseless but not spinning. Heâs sitting on the floor in his motel room, back against the wall and both hands pressed to the gross carpet. Maybe his body can explain to his brain that heâs sitting still.
Suddenly, with a slap of blinding electricity, heâs sober. Cas is standing in front of him and Dean is too disoriented to stand up or do anything but sit there like a dumbass.
âHello, Dean.â
âJesus fucking Christ. Whatâre you doin here?â
âYou were praying to me.â
âNo, I was fucking not.â
âI heard my name once. After that, it was just wordless panic.â
âOh. Just drank too much. Thanks, I guess.â
âYouâre welcome.â
âWait. Donât zap away. Sit down.â
Cas stares at him, face unreadable, for an endless moment. Something stops Dean from saying anything. He could look at Casâ face forever, now that heâs letting himself. He cranes his neck back, watching the weird, sharp shapes of Casâ face get even weirder and sharper in the moonlight, get even weirder and sharper from this angle. And then Cas sits down on the floor, criss-cross-applesauce. Huh. Must be Jimmy Novakâs muscle memory. Dean can see a strip of his calves at the top of his dress socks. He has to resist the urge to reach out and touch.
âItâs my birthday.â Stupid.
âI know.â
âYouâre supposed to say happy birthday.â
Cas tilts his head in that way that Dean is starting to get fond of. âIs it?â
âYeah, thatâs the thing human beings say.â
âYou misunderstand me. Is it happy?â
Dean laughs. âNah, itâs really not. Tried to drink myself to sleep but it didnât work.â
âI can put you to sleep. I can make sure you donât dream. My gift to you, as I believe is customary.â
âUh, yeah. Iâll take you up on that, but first⊠Um. Do you wanna watch a movie or something?â He doesnât wanna be alone. Dean feels himself blush. Fuck. âUnless you have angel shit to do.â
âI donât have⊠Angel shit to do at this moment.â
Dean spends his thirtieth birthday watching Boondocks Saints with an angel in a dirty motel room. He asks Cas one question about Catholicism and triggers a monologue about the Protestant schism and how Martin Luther was âthe most irritating and pedantic man that has ever walked the Earth, including Slavoj Zizek.â Dean laughs himself into a side stitch and Cas smiles back, not confused like youâd think. He was trying to make Dean laugh.
When Dean can breathe again and asks who the hell Slavoj Zizek is, Cas puts on an insane accent: âThere is never a âright momentâ for the revolutionary actâthe act is always, by definition, âpremature.ââ This sets Dean off again, and Cas laughs a little too. Dean hopes itâs his first laugh. He wants that bragging right.
Thirteen years later and one year sober, they watch it again in their living room. Jack sits on the floor working on a Hello Kitty jigsaw puzzle as he watches and Sam definitely isnât paying attention, texting Eileen in the big armchair. Cas is falling asleep on Deanâs shoulder. Half asleep, he pulls out the Zizek impression again: âThe paradox of love is that it is a free choice, but a choice which never arrives in the presentâit is always already made.â