Girls Turn 12 And Decide That's Enough Height Growth For The Rest Of Their Lives.

As much as I'm a simp for Itachi Uchiha, I'm fully aware that I would have hated him if he was real.

If Itachi Uchiha were someone I knew in real life, he would be Barbie and I would be Raquelle.

If he were my classmate, I would absolutely HATE him.

I would absolutely despise him for being perfect. I would be so jealous of him because he would have everything that I want. I would see him as a guy with loving parents, good looks, a wealthy background, high social status, a good personality, great propriety, a good social life and someone who is admired by everyone. While I would just be a regular person with average grades, an emotionally absent father, mommy issues, iron deficiency, inferiority complex, unremarkable looks, permanent resting bitch face, no real friends, and someone that people tend to avoid or hate because of her hostile behaviour. Also, I'd be a middle-class girl who is unable to afford the clothes that fit her great fashion sense.

I would desperately try my best to outdo him and still fail. I can't outdo his amazing genetics so I would make an attempt at the sports that he plays, only to realize that my body isn't well nourished. I might even start being unnecessarily rude towards him if we happen to interact and he would've no idea why a classmate he barely knows holds such strong negative feelings towards him.

The only thing that gives me a chance at being better than him would be academics. I would study like crazy till the caffeine overdose puts me in the ER a week before an exam. I might even score more than him once and that would bring me great joy. I'd see it as a step towards my goal of being better than him and see that moment as an opportunity to rub it in his face. But while I'm silently celebrating my "victory", he would come up to me and congratulate me for it. That will be the moment when my happiness disappears, and I will truly understand where I stand. As I rudely turn away from him for the umpteenth time, I'll finally realize that I'll never be better than him.

He is perfect. Someone who has got it all, the perfect grades, perfect looks, perfect family and a perfect life. While I am just another one of his jealous ignoble haters, who is projecting her own problems onto him.

My report card graded more than A+ in all subjects will be shoved into a small pocket in my bag and will be forgotten then. And suddenly, the fruit of my hard work will no longer give me hope for a better life.

Just because I love my country doesn't mean I don't hate the people who live here with every inch of my heart.

The girls who bullied me in school, the pick-me teacher who had a grudge against the girls in my class, the teacher who kicked me out of his class because I didn't turn on the ceiling fan, the prime minister, my father's side of family, and the men who sent r@pe threats to a Cricketer's five year old daughter after he didn't play well in IPL they all live in this country.

I could never say I love the people of this country when the scum of the earth live here.

Winter makes me feel a certain kind of way. The season has seen me at my worst. The worst point of my "bieber-fever", worst phase of my tween years' longing for requited love and worst nights of my school days when I wanted nothing more than to escape the walls of my house past my strict parents and be with my friends. It always seemed as if everything got worse in winter. My loneliness, my desperation, my health (both physical and mental) and my hopeless daydreaming (sometimes it's nightdreaming). That has always made me sad because the cold mist of winter also makes me happy. It's sad to me because every year, I don't get to enjoy such a beautiful season as I get pulled or pushed down to the lowest point of my year again and again.

But winter also bring me hope. A hope that things will get better 'maybe this time'. Even if it doesn't, another thing will remain constant. I will continue to look out of my window at cold nights and gaze at the dreamy lights shining in the mist, again. I will continue to let it fill me with the feeling of nostalgia for the things that never happened, to fill me with anemoia, again. I will continue to hope for the best. Again.

Half of the arguments won't happen if people stopped skipping breakfast and hair wash day. Also no, only a coffee is not enough breakfast.

Old people in love>>>>>

I'm at the point of my weight-gain journey where I wish water had calories.

No matter how much this unrequited, forbidden love hurts me. The truth is, I want to want him. I don't wish to move on. I'm scared of growing into a person who doesn't love him as much as I do today.

"he would not fucking say that" but you ever be looking at fanart and suddenly its "he would not fucking have abs"

Talking to Itachi's c.ai. because men in Instagram comment section exist.

It's weird how fast the time passes. I was busy being... well, busy, and life went by me.

Summer nights. I never put together why I felt so nostalgic about this specific time of the year, even though it's not my favorite season. Now that I think of it, it has more to do with television and wattpad.

You see, growing up I wasn't allowed to go out of my house unless it was for school. So television became my only source of happiness. I was very drawn to cartoons and kid's shows, especially the one's from Japan. Shin Chan, Doraemon, Ryukendo, Beyblade, you name it. While I'm aware that it's supposed to be called anime, it's considered cartoon in my country because of it's dubbed version being widely known.

I lived in small towns for most of my life so this atmosphere was mostly peaceful. I would sit out near the grass before my bedtime to feel something. The chirping of crickets and the soft breeze eased my little heart that longed for friends. Not that it matters now, but not being able to interact with my friends during vacation made my feel like a frog in a well. A frog who knew how the life outside the well looked.

When I turned 12, I got a hand-me-down phone from my mother. I quickly opened a Facebook account to connect with my friends after school season ended. It didn't do much since my friends were busy hanging out with people, in-person. I was still a kid obsessed with a fictional character so I took quizzes online and eventually it led me to the world of fanfictions.

I swear to God the fanfictions back in the day were different. Those still has sex scenes but it was a result of several cute interactions and awkward sexual tension, not the dominant, angry alpha, arrogant ceo bullshit you see these days. Even the Alpha characters in old fanfictions used to be cold but empathetic, unlike the uncontrollable monsters of today. The old ones were only misunderstood to be monsters, the ones these days are actual monsters.

Anyways, it all led me to the peak era of wattpad (2014-2017). I became obsessed with fanfictions and read around 20000 words per day. I would've read more if my internet access wasn't limited. I would read it under the stars while sitting out near the garden or in my dimly lit room with my windows wide open.

I could go on about these forever but I won't. One thousand or more words aren't enough to share the impact of Japanese children’s shows and anime on my childhood and the longing for to relive the lonely but simple past every summer night.