Do You Ever Think You'll Stop Drawing Fanart? No Offense It Just Seems Like The Kind Of Thing You're

Grounding Techniques

For anxiety, panic attacks, flashbacks and/or nightmares.

In those moments, it can be hard to think of what to do. Please consider writing yourself a to do list for those moments that you can go through. Whether it is things from this list I am sharing with you or your own grounding methods you have thought of. Write a step by step of how to get yourself grounded that you can have on your phone or notebook. 

Physical Sensations

Put your hands in cold water (you could even hold an ice cube.)

Squeeze something soft like a blanket or stuffed animal.

Hold a favourite item like a stimming toy or something you love. If you are outside, consider picking up a leaf (or rock etc) and examining it and how it feels. 

Put your hand over your heart and feel it. You are here. You are present. Inhale (through your nose) for four seconds and Exhale (through your mouth) for six seconds.

Cuddle or pet your dog/cat if you have one.

Think of things you enjoy touching. I know someone who keeps bubble wrap around so they can pop it when they feel distressed.

Taste

Drink or eat something (if you can) with a strong taste. (Something really sour, maybe something spicy, or anything with a strong taste.)

Chew gum or suck on a mint or similar.

Let a chocolate or similar melt in your mouth. Really focus on the taste and the sensation.

Drink a cold or hot beverage.

Please be aware of your limits. Are you going to be able to focus on this? Is there risk of you choking if you panic and/or dissociate heavily?

Sight

What do you see now? What colours are the walls? What is the floor made of? Name five items in the room with you?

Scent

Spray a scent that is non triggering like a body spray, or air freshener.

Have some essential oils to smell when you need.

Do not light a candle if there is a risk of you dissociating too much to remember it. This can be dangerous. Please only light a scented candle if you are certain it is safe to do so.

Sound

Put on a non-triggering movie/show/youtube video

Put on some non-triggering music.

Listen to the sounds where you are and list them off. Are there bugs chirping outside? Are people doing work outside? Do you hear a heater/fan going? Etc.

Play nature sounds (there are apps that do relaxing sounds. Consider downloading one.)

Call a friend. (If this happens in the middle of the night, maybe ask a trusted friend to send you some recordings you can play of them saying calming things for you?)

Listen to an audio book or read a book you like out loud.

Other

Have an anchoring phrase/mantra like: “My name is ___. I am ___ years old. I live in ___. I am safe. ”

Have a soothing or distracting app you go to on your phone. (There are colouring apps and just nice games or activities to do.)

Remember that even if it does not feel like it right now, you are going to be okay. You’ve gotten through this before and you can do it again. I believe in you. I hope you believe in you, too.

I died! Source (X)

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

8 Ways to Improve Your Writing

I got a great anonymous ask last week from someone who wanted to know how to identify weak spots in their writing. One of the things that comes with time and experience is finding the language to identify, discuss, and address the feeling that something isn’t quite right or that a story is “missing something.” Not knowing them or their writing, of course I couldn’t help them figure out what specifically the problem was. But I did share with them a list of things I’ve done over the years to be able to identify weak spots and improve my writing. 

1. Analyze your favorite writers.

Figure out why you like the writing that you like. Ask yourself: What are they doing here? What are they doing that I’m not doing? Why do I love their writing so much? Take notes on their stories. Plot them. Write in the margins. Read them slowly. Read their reviews—both good and bad. Did that writer you love once write something you hated? Great, even better. Figure out why that particular book was different from the others.

2. Analyze your own writing.

Do you have an older story you wrote that you love? Figure out why. What did you do differently in that story that you’re not doing in the current story you’re writing? Make notes. Draw maps. Reverse engineer everything.

3. Develop a language to talk and think about writing.

Read craft books, blogs, anything you can get your hands on. Learn about point of view, conflict, character development, dialogue, story structure, syntax, metaphors. Get your advice from good sources, and don’t believe everything you read. If something doesn’t sit right with you, throw it out. But be open to everything.

4. Journal and write about your writing.

Over time, you will identify consistent weaknesses that you have. Then, in the future, when you feel like “something is missing” from your writing, you can reference your notes and remember, for example, that you often have difficulty with your protagonist’s motivation, with theme, with dialogue, etc., and you’ll have a better idea about where to go looking.

5. Share your writing with someone you trust, ideally a more experienced writer than you or an editor or mentor.

Be very careful about who you share your writing with. Friends and family are not always the best choice. You don’t want someone who’s just going to throw around their uneducated opinion about your work, who has a big ego, or who won’t be honest with you. Remember: “I liked it” or “I didn’t like it” are useless pieces of feedback. You want someone who can read your work and say, “Your protagonist’s passion for music made them really likeable to me. I was dying to know whether they would get into the conservatory or not!” or “My attention wandered on page two, when you described the couch upholstery for three paragraphs.”

6. Analyze the areas of your writing which are commonly problematic for new writers (and writers in general).

In my experience as an editor, the most likely culprits are unclear character motivation and lack of conflict. There are a lot of good resources (books and blogs) about this. Try a Google search for “most common mistakes beginning writers make.”

7. Trust your intuition.

Do you keep coming back to the same page or scene in your story, feeling like it isn’t right? You’re probably onto something.

8. Take time away from your writing.

You’d be amazed how much more clear everything will be after a break. Give yourself at least a week for a short story, 3-4 weeks for a novel. It could also be the case that your ambitions for this particular story don’t yet match your skills, and that you’ll have to wait even longer to successfully finish it. I’ve known writers who have given up on a story only to come back to it months or years later once they’d gained the skills and insight to complete it. And then suddenly writing that story seemed really easy!

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The Literary Architect is a writing advice blog run by me, Bucket Siler. For more writing help, check out my Free Resource Library or get The Complete Guide to Self-Editing for Fiction Writers. xoxo

prompt: “Just hold me for a while, please.” requested by everyone’s fave, @nyc-parker

“You look lovely,” he tells her, and she smiles at him warmly, a small thing that barely lifts the corner of her painted red mouth, and he loves the sight of her.

Her mascara is smudged, just the tiniest bit. It’s the kind of thing that you wouldn’t notice if you didn’t spend hours learning the sight of her face in every setting. She’s so pretty, curled hair flattening after hours at some dinner for her job.

She hadn’t had a plus one, and he’d had work to do anyway.

He’d seen her getting ready, hung out with her while got ready. She’s got a certain laser-sharp focus when she does these things, eyes trained on the right color of eyeshadow and how to do the uptick of her eyeliner just perfect, and it’s lovely to watch. (She usually reserved such attention to him.) She had curled her hair and yelled at him for making her laugh because I could burn myself you dick!

She’d stepped into silver heels and he’d looked her up and down like it’s still before he’d had the nerve to tell her looking at her was his favorite thing to do- and she’d looked like the most stunning thing the world’s ever made. She’d had the nerve to ask if she looked okay, tucking a curled lock behind her ear and brows furrowed as if that wasn’t an insane question.

(Sometimes he wonders if she can see.)

And while it was upsetting not to go with her, this is still the best part of the night, anyway. She’s wearing a long purple dress and her heels are off because she can’t stand them anymore. She falls into the space next to him on the couch, leaning into him like she’s made to exist in his sphere. It’s second nature, the way he wraps his arm around her shoulders and how she leans back.

“Thank you,” she replies, and fatigue drips from her honey-sweet voice, and she turns to tuck her face into the crook of his neck, voice muffled as she speaks, “You look lovely too.”

He does not. He is wearing a grey T-shirt that has a coffee stain on the front and old shorts he’s pretty sure he bought in high school, his hair’s a mess because he’s run his hands through it like 8 times, and he’s pretty sure the cold cup of tea and half-eaten slice of pizza doesn’t make him look like some god of attractiveness. She sounded serious though, and that’s the part that still melts him down to the center.

(She drinks in the sight of him the same way he looks at her, and it’s still hard to believe.)

“No comment,” he says back, and it’s worth it for the way she laughs, soft and real while shifting to prop her legs up on their cheap coffee table from goodwill.

She’s wearing the perfume he gave her for their anniversary, and she’s all easy movements and effortless grace, careful and reverent with the way she touches him. He loves her when she laughs, loves her when she smiles and loves her when she fights with him over what show to watch and loves her when she’s not doing anything at all.

Her eyes are fluttering shut, and it’s an easy tell that she’s exhausted. Her favorite show is on, which they don’t watch together often, mostly because of how she fawns over the main character, which leads to him being miffed, not jealous, and she fawns over that.

Now, though, she can’t keep her gaze focused on anything at all. The only indication he has that she’s still awake is that she’s holding him too tightly to be asleep.

“Baby,” he says, and it’s hard not to relish how she preens, just the tiniest bit at the affection. It’s still so new, even after years of loving each other, the way it feels to hear the affection that drips from every affectation. “You wanna head to bed?”

“In a minute,” she replies, picking her head up to meet his gaze. It will invariably not be just a minute. And she’s been sleeping late lately, they should probably go to bed, especially if- “Just hold me for a while, please.”

Please. As if it’s a favor. As if it isn’t the greatest privilege he thinks he will ever have.

She snuggles into him and leans on his shoulder again, and she still makes his heart skip.  Okay.  Okay.

He kisses her temple then leans his head back on hers, legs tangled, the blanket covering her than on him, and he’s happy. Happy she’s warm, happy she’s with him, happy that his favorite thing to do in the world was asked of him. With a please.

“Of course, honey.”

taehyung’s eyebrow raise during live performances 🥵

Käthe Butcher (German, b. 1990) – A Hug in the Garden, 2020

As widespread lockdowns swept the globe earlier this year in response to the threat of COVID-19, intimacy became fraught. For artist Käthe Butcher, the loss of an embrace or casual peck on the cheek was incredibly difficult. This desire for connection culminated in “A Hug In The Garden,” an emotional rendering of two women holding each other. (Source)

Honoring the lives lost in the Atlanta shooting

Xiaojie 'Emily' Tan, 49

Tan, 49, was the mother of Jami Webb, a recent graduate from the University of Georgia. She was a licensed massage therapist and the owner of Young’s Asian Massage, along with other businesses in the area, including another spa and a tanning salon, according to state records. She was “the sweetest, most kind-hearted, giving, never-met-a-stranger person,” a friend told Atlanta’s WSB-TV. Just one day away from her 50th birthday when she was killed, according to USA Today, Tan was described by her daughter as thoughtful, devoted to her family, and looking forward to traveling in her retirement.

Hyun Jung Grant, 51

Hyun Jung Grant was a Korean immigrant who worked at Atlanta’s Gold Spa. Her son Randy Park, 23, shared a tribute to his mother on GoFundMe: He said his mother was a single parent who “dedicated her whole life to providing for my brother and I.” She loved dancing and sushi, according to Park, who told The Daily Beast, “She wasn’t just my mother. She was my friend.” Park, who now has to raise his brother alone, is not buying law-enforcement officials’ suggestion that the attack was motivated by a supposed sex addiction, not racism. “That’s bullshit,” he said.

Delaina Ashley Yaun Gonzalez, 33

Yaun Gonzalez, 33, was a mother of two — 13-year-old Mayson and 8-month-old Mia. She had worked all day on Tuesday at the Waffle House a few shops down from Tan’s spa business. She had been looking forward to having a relaxing night out with her husband, Mario Gonzalez, whom she married only last year, and the couple had reportedly never been to Young’s Asian Massage before. According to Fox 5 Atlanta, family members say that Mario Gonzalez, who survived the shooting, is “taking [the situation] hard.” Delaina Ashley Yaun Gonzalez’s friends and family have set up a GoFundMe to address her funeral costs.

Paul Andre Michels, 54

Michels, 54, was a handyman at Young’s Asian Massage and the owner of an electric company. He was only recently hired for the role and excited to take it on after looking for more work during the pandemic, according to a friend who spoke with CBS46. An army veteran originally from Detroit, Michels is one of nine siblings and is survived by his wife of more than two decades. In an interview with the Guardian, his brother John Michels emphasized his kindness. “He was just a regular guy, very good-hearted, very soft-natured,” he said, while noting that Michels had expressed an interest in getting involved in the massage business.

Yong Ae Yue, 63

A licensed massage therapist, she was laid off at the start of the pandemic last year and was excited to finally start shifts at the spa again, her son Elliott Peterson, 42, told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution on Friday morning. Yue’s youngest child, Robert Peterson, 38, agreed, recalling their mother as a kind and deeply caring woman. If you stopped by her house, she’d sit you down, ask if you’d eaten, and then insist on a trip to H Mart grocery store so she could make a meal.

Daoyou Feng, 44

Daoyou Feng, 44, began working at Young’s Asian Massage in recent months, according to Tan’s friend Hynson. She was kind and quiet, he said. Her relatives could not be reached for comment.

Soon Chung Park, 74

Soon Chung Park, 74, was also a worker at an Atlanta spa. Her family didn’t respond when reached for comment. Park previously lived in New York, where she has relatives, her son-in-law, Scott Lee, told the New York Times. “She got along with her family so well,” Lee told the newspaper.

Suncha Kim, 69

Suncha Kim, 69, worked at one of the spas in Atlanta. Her family could not be reached for comment. Kim, a grandmother, was married for more than 50 years, a family member told the Times. She enjoyed line dancing and worked hard, the relative said.

Elcias Hernandez-Ortiz, 30

Hernandez-Ortiz, 30, was the only survivor of the victims who were shot on Tuesday, and he remains hospitalized for multiple gunshot wounds in his “forehead, throat, lungs and stomach,” according to the Washington Post. He was shot while standing outside in the shopping center where Young’s Asian Massage is located. “He came from nothing and has come a long way; that is why I have faith he will survive this,” his wife Flor Gonzalez told the Washington Post. Gonzalez has also set up a GoFundMe to help with the costs of Hernandez-Ortiz’s medical care.

Just got done reading an interesting article about how language affects the way we think and perceive the world. There were some interesting examples. Like how in Spanish, the word bridge is masculine, while in German, it is feminine. So native speakers of these languages describe the same thing differently. Spanish speakers will comment on how strong or sturdy a bridge is, while German speakers will comment on how elegant or beautiful it is. Another example that blew my mind was the Guugu Yimithirr language. So, most languages, including English, use an egocentric type of directional language (turn right, left, behind, in front.) these directions are relative to you as a person. Well, the Guugu Yimithirr language uses fixed geographical directions (North, East, South, and West) no matter the context. If you were to put an English speaker and a Guugu Yimithirr speaker in the same hotel, and put them in rooms opposite sides of the hallway from each other, the English speaker will see the exact same room (that person will see the desk to the right of blah and the closet in front of blah) but the Guugu Yimithirr speaker will see a COMPLETELY different room because the bed will be facing south instead of north, and all of that jazz. And the article went on to state how speakers of this language might even have a lower sense of egotism, because directions do not revolve around them, they’re just another part of the picture. Really fascinating. It made me think really long about language imperialism and how rapidly we’re moving towards a world that deals almost exclusively in English. It makes me sad to know that we’re losing completely different ways of thinking. Completely different perspectives, just gone. I guess that’s why I always get upset when people say that language imperialism isn’t so bad, and that English as a language is connecting people together. The world is a great big place, with completely different perspectives, and I think the fastest way to kill a culture is to take away the language, because not only are you taking away a method of communication, but a way of thinking.