When Vermin Just Pops Out And Says "are You Kiddin'?" And Drags Mercy Into The Men's Room? Peak Comedy

Agates carved into orange slices by wutong_crystal_carvings.

Source: x

so slutty when a man stretches and exposes his lower tummy. you know what you're doing.

(honk at pretty lady on the sidewalk) hey 😏 wanna see me drive straight into that brick wall

there's a stage in sandwich consumption where it's falling to pieces & you're desperately cupping it in your hands & it's like this poor wounded animal that is covered in mustard & wants to die

Alright was no one going to tell me that in the middle of the Nevada desert is an old cemetery that contains the bodies of a bunch of miners who died in a fire and next door is a haunted clown motel

Why are we still setting horror movies in generic Victorian houses in the woods when this is a real place in the world

reblogged this almost three years ago guess who has some now

offensive that i don’t own any red nail varnish