or "About the beloved son"
on AO3 đ€
For those of you who don't know, I have been devoting much of my time in the past year to writing my debut fantasy novel. I'm happy to say that a few days ago I finished the completed first draft!!! 179,000 words/405 pages later, I finally got to print my book out and see it for the first timeđ„čđ
There is still a long way to go until this baby is ready to be published, but I couldn't be more grateful and proud to be at this point. I've known that I want to be an author since I was in second grade, but for many years, I was too afraid that I wouldn't be good enough to even try. It was actually posting my fanfiction online that eventually gave me the confidence to chase after my dreams. From the bottom of my heart, thank you to everyone who has supported me on here! It may have seemed like just a simple comment or two on silly fanfiction, but it had a greater impact than you could have realizedđ„čđ
I will try to keep you all updated on the progress concerning my novel, 'Project Music Box', as I go.
And don't worry, I'm still writing fanfiction when I have time
Summary of the series: You were found by Noa, Anaya and Soona - on the brink of the death - healed back to health, you were faced with being let go, or staying with the Eagle Clan. Food, shelter and safety. The catch? Their Leader wanted to know about Echo ways of living and never bargained feelings into the transaction. (This will be updated as chapters are posted. ) SERIES PLAYLIST.
Chapter One: Customary.
Chapter Two: Gone Hunting.
Chapter Three: Wounded Pride.
Chapter Four: Head First.
Chapter Five: Sense of Belonging.
Chapter Six: Empathy.
Chapter Seven: Cross Roads.
Chapter Eight: Future.
Chapter Nine: Savior Complex.
Chapter Ten: Chimp Mosh Pit.
Chapter Eleven: The Grim Reaper.
Chapter Twelve: Taken.
Chapter Thirteen: If You Only Knew.
Chapter Fourteen: Thick as Thieves.
Chapter Fifteen: Oblivion.
Chapter Sixteen: Cross Contaminate. **ACTUAL FINAL CHAPTER SEVENTEEN* Traditional. ( Coming Soon. )
I was watching the deleted/original cut of the scene with Neytiri holding Spider hostage which â first off, incredible scene by the way like holy shit â but it made me think about how perfectly it served for Neytiriâs character.
Someone mightâve already talked about this already, but what I donât think a lot of people realize is that this scene serves as the payoff for earlier Neytiri-related scenes as well as a starting point for her arc going forward.
If you havenât watched the scene, here, itâs a far more impactful version of an already hard hitting scene and Iâm going to treat it as what âreallyâ happened in the story for the sake of analysis.
The first moment Iâm focusing on is this one where Neytiri goes to pick up her bow after killing a few RDA grunts, only to find that the bow is now broken and unusable.
Thereâs a running theme in these two movies that Iâve seen people point out and thatâs how Neytiri keeps losing things that are precious to her, whether they be people, places, or objects.
In the first movie, she loses a lot including but not limited to the Hometree, the Tree of Voices, her older sister, Tsuâtey, her Ikran, and her father. When her father dies, he grants her the Ceremonial Bow and thatâs what she ends up using to fight in all subsequent battles.
In the second movie, she thankfully doesnât lose as much, but sheâs still forced to leave her home and her first born son is killed in the heat of battle, rough times all around.
Youâll note that I didnât include losing her precious bow on the list of things she lost and thatâs because she didnât lose the bow, she broke it.
All the other losses Iâve described are caused by the RDA, but this one isnât. Instead of her bow being broken by another grunt in the heat of the battle, sheâs the one who breaks it by swinging it haphazardly at her enemies.
I may not know all that much about archery or making weapons, but Iâm almost certain that bows arenât designed to be used like that, which is why her bow broke the way that it did.
And it cannot be understated how important this bow must be to Neytiri. I mentioned before that it was given to her by her late father, making it an important connection to her family already, but itâs also made from the wood of Hometree. So not only is it a connection to her family, itâs a connection to her people and the home that was stolen from them.
All that and she still broke it, not because she didnât cherish the bow, but because she just couldnât control her anger enough to handle it properly.
And thatâs what I feel Neytiriâs fatal flaw is, as well as what her arc will be primarily focusing on in the upcoming movies â Neytiriâs anger and hatred leads to blind rage, and she becomes liable to hurt those she cares about.
For the record, I am not making the claim that Neytiriâs flaw is that she gets angry. Being outraged by death and destruction, hating those who bring about injustice, these arenât flaws and arenât things she should be vilified for. What is a flaw is how she uses her anger, or rather how it uses her.
Jake spells it out pretty cleanly in a scene that happened a while ago. When Tonowari told Jake and Neytiri about the destruction the RDA was causing to the nearby villages, they immediately connect it back to Quaritch. Neytiri describes how they have to finish off Quaritch â âwe have to hunt this demon, trap him, kill himâ â and this is what Jake says in response to that idea:
Heâs not dismissing the idea of doing something, heâs just cautioning her on how they go about doing it. Thatâs the crux of Neytiriâs most prevalent flaw, it isnât her becoming angered at the injustice she and her people face, itâs her not being smart about how she acts on it.
The last two moments Iâd like to draw attention to are the one where one of Quartichâs lackey calls Neytiri a âwild animalâ and the one where she actually acts like one.
For the record, Lyle and Quaritch are in the wrong for likening Neytiri to an animal and dehumanizing her in the process, especially when the reason they insulted her was because she was acting violent in the video where she was protecting her husband. However, itâs undeniable that during the fight on the Sea Dragon, Neytiri is the most violent and rage filled weâve ever seen her.
Itâs particularly noticeable right before she realizes she broke her bow, which is definitely not a coincidence Iâll tell you that much.
She screams in the guys face and stabs him over and over and over again, after which she gets up and starts growling, searching for anything else that moves. Itâs not a stretch to say that, in this moment, sheâs acting almost like a bloodthirsty animal hungry for vengeance, not too dissimilar from the wild animal the recoms painted her as.
And all of this, her accidentally breaking her fatherâs bow, being asked to be smart about it all, acting like a wild animal, it all comes to a head in the moment where she uses Spiderâs life as leverage to save Kiriâs. It starts off good when she makes Quaritch let Kiri go, but when Kiri is freed from Quaritchâs grasp and she can turn her attention to the man himselfâŠ
âŠshe puts the blade back against Spiderâs neck and utters those infamous lines:
Iâve seen a lot of people comment on how âpowerfulâ of a scene this is, and while I agree that itâs a powerful storytelling moment and extremely important to Neytiriâs character, I think a lot of people miss the fact that this isnât an admirable moment of a motherâs rage, but a scary and dark moment where Neytiri is about to fall to Quaritchâs lows.
Because if Neytiri had actually gone through with this decision, then she wouldâve done the same thing to her family that she did with her bow â destroy it. Whatâs important to note about Neytiriâs hatred towards Spider is that; while itâs understandable considering all the trauma she went through at the hands of his father and the RDA, sheâs the only one in her family that feels this way towards him.
For one thing, Spider is both Loâak and Kiriâs best friend and they know how much Spider hates being Quaritchâs son, thereâs no way that theyâd just accept Neytiri after she killed their best friend. We donât get much development on Spiderâs relationship with Tuk or Neteyam, but we see Spider protect Tuk, tease Neteyam, and cry during Neteyamâs death, so they must be friends on some level.
And finally Jake. Admittedly, Jake is pretty lukewarm towards Spider throughout the entire movie, but Iâd argue thatâs him keeping a respectful distance because of him wanting to side with his wife and not any malice Jake genuinely holds towards Spider himself. We even see him checking over Spider at the end of the movie like he does with Loâak and Neteyam.
As much as Jake unconditionally loves Neytiri, I cannot see a world where heâs able to look at her the same way if she killed an innocent child.
And I do mean innocent, because at this point in time Spiderâs only âcrimesâ are being human(not his choice) and being Quaritchâs son(also not his choice). Even if Neytiriâs feelings towards him are understandable and valid, her actions at this point are not justifiable and Jake knows it.
Thatâs not even mentioning how she hisses at Kiri during this scene, sheâs not acting with her familyâs best interest in mind, sheâs acting on pure rage.
If she had gone through with it and killed Spider, Kiri and Loâak would hate her, Tuk wouldnât be able to look at her the same way again, and Jake probably wouldâve left her. She truly did come a hairâs width away from destroying something precious to her once again.
Now letâs talk about Spider for a minute because heâs crucial to all of this, as Neytiriâs hatred for humans extends to her hatred of him.
We already know that, to the Naâvi, âI see youâ is considered a respectful greeting, but itâs also a show of great understanding between two people; itâs why Jakeâs two pivotal emotional moments at the end of the movies are him telling a loved one âI see you,â itâs because heâs come to understand them as a person beyond what he initially thought.
In contrast, Neytiri does not see Spider, her eyes are shut. Instead of seeing Spider as a person, all she sees is just another human who ought to be with his own kind, a demon. And this is honestly fine, Neytiri isnât Spiderâs mother or caretaker so sheâs not obligated to try and understand him as anything deeper than her enemies child and her own childrenâs best friend.
However, because Neytiri refuses to see Spider as anything other than another human, she lets this hatred for him and his heritage fester until she feels comfortable to threaten his life and see him as a means to an end. And that, no matter how much one may argue itâs understandable from her perspective, leads to dire consequences.
Namely, Spiderâs choice to save Quaritch.
Now, before anyone yells at me let me clarify â I am not saying that Neytiri is responsible for Spiderâs choice, nor is she responsible for any harm Quaritch will cause in the upcoming movies. However, itâs undeniable that her actions influenced Spiderâs decision, whether directly or indirectly.
When Neytiri threatened Spiderâs life, Quaritch initially plays off the fact that heâs technically not his son, citing that they arenât even the same species. But when Neytiri pushes even further, he breaks and shows that he does actually care about Spider, willing to let go of his hostage in order to protect him.
This is big for Spider as his only major desire is to have a family, specifically a parental figure who genuinely cared about him as he is. Iâd even go as far as to say that this moment probably proved to Spider that Quaritch cares about him as more than just a meanâs to an end. Heâd already helped Quaritch bond with an Ikran and find the Sully family(against his will), he had nothing else to offer but Quaritch still wanted him alive.
This, along with the months they spent together, are what pushed Spider to make his decision at the end of the movie, a decision he was explicitly conflicted about.
And this came about from Neytiriâs decision. I know a lot of people would argue that Neytiri had to do this because it was the only way to save her daughter, and Iâll agree that there werenât many options for her. But this wasnât a tactical move she was making, she wasnât bluffing or putting on a show to force Quaritchâs hand, she was explicitly going to kill Spider just to make Quaritch hurt in the same way she was hurting.
Also, if we want to nitpick we could also say that the months Quaritch and Spider spent together also came about as a result of her actions. When theyâre running away from the Recoms, Spider is the only one who falls to the ground and Neytiri doesnât even think to try and go get him.
âB-But thereâs no way Neytiri wouldâve been able to save him and get away! She has her own children to worry about!â I hear you typing in the notes of this post, and to that I say youâve got a point.
However, the fact that Neytiri doesnât even consider going down to rescue him, doesnât look over the branch and hesitate before making the difficult decision to prioritize Kiri and feel bad about it later shows that her reasoning is solidly NOT rooted in him being one of her kids or not.
She doesnât even try, and because of that Quaritch and Spider end up forming the basis for a solid bond.
TLDR; Neytiriâs fatal flaw is that she allows her anger and hatred to cloud her better judgment and control her, leading to a destructive attitude that can ultimately hurt the people she loves and make things worse for her.
At this point, Iâm pretty sure everyone has heard at least a little bit about the next movie, Avatar Fire and Ash. Iâve seen people theorizing that the fire tribe will be joining forces with the RDA, that they donât believe in Eywa, and that Neytiri will have to infiltrate the tribe in order to rescue her children.
Iâm not certain whether any of this is true, but what I am certain of is that â if these concept arts hold water by the time the movie is released â then the fire tribe weâll be encountering in the third movie is going to be an extremely violent community, likely one that puts emphasis on anger and hatred.
And if the rumors are true and Neytiri really is going to be infiltrating them, then Neytiriâs flaws might be able to inform what narrative role the Ash People and Varaang in particular will have in the third movie.
Iâve already explained how in depth how her flaw is how she allows her anger to take control of her and close her vision; sheâs volatile like lava and burns hot like fire, becoming liable to burn everything and everyone around her.
From that perspective, she seems more suited to be a fire Naâvi rather than a forest or reef one, no? The choice to take us to a volcanic, fire steeped region isnât just James Cameron checking off the boxes like âoh we did forest and water, fire next!â its him taking us to a we might find uncomfortably befitting of our worst traits.
And thatâs basically what I think Neytiri will have to face upon encountering the Ash People â they are the embodiment of all her flaws put on display.
Varaang specifically may work as her narrative foil, a literal funhouse version of her at her worst(from my perspective the concept art of Varaang actually looks a lot like Neytiri, so thatâs interesting).
I also think itâs important to note that Neytiri is absolutely going to find out that Spider saved Quaritch in the third movie, or at least itâs incredibly likely if the Ash People really will be working with Quaritch. That means that her hatred for him and her need for revenge will come back into play, this isnât over.
But this time things will be different, because in between Neytiri learning of Spiderâs betrayal she will also get especially close to the Ash People and find that she is uncomfortably similar to them at her worst. Before she does something she might regret, Neytiri will be forced to ask herself some important questions:
Is revenge really worth it? Is this the kind of person she wants to be? If Jake wasnât there that night, would she have the blood of a child on her hands? Will she hurt other people she loves because of her anger?
These questions are ones she likely never wanted to ask herself, but theyâre necessary because sheâs starting right in the face of people who didnât.
Hopefully, she finds that the answer is no.
Posting with permission from the artist, yodowdydon!
Please check out their Instagram page and go show your love for the original post!
"it is what demon's blood does" on ao3
Kaltxi!
Well... I had some problems with my last account, so I had to go away for a while. If you remember me here, I would be very happy.
Now I decided to create two accounts (official is @venretteart ) where I will post different content. Here I will publish works related to James Cameron's universe.
It will take some time to adjust and recover, but I'll do things one step at a time.
ê„ â Found Someone Better / The Foundation
Artists â Tonowari x fem!avatar!reader
Genre â Chapter Three
Lyrics â For the past couple of weeks youâve been on the island Tonowari has been your karyu, showing you the ways of the Metkayina. With each lesson thereâs a growing tension between you, causing you to feel bold enough to make a move.
Music Advisory â Pre-Atwow, slight timeskip (a few weeks), teacher/student dynamic (in the beginning), mentions/implied widow!tonowari, small scene of domestic violence (flashback w/ Neytiri), crying, slight hurt w/ comfort, kissing, awkward tension, love confession, new side character;
ă»Some of the topics above can be considered triggering to some. If you donât agree with any of the content above or it makes you uncomfortable please dni! Youâre responsible for your own consumption!
Duration â 7.1k words
Index â Kelku - Homeă»Karyu - Teacher
Words From Artist â After a long wait chapter three is finally here! Thank you to everyone who has commented, liked, and reblogged chapters one and two, I appreciate all the love and support! This chapter took a long time to write because I wanted to make sure it was at its best once it was posted. This chapter is an important part of their story which is why itâs longer than my other chapters, I would highly encourage reading the entire chapter.
ă»Also, Iâm beginning to write future chapters and special addition chapters that will take place between volume 1 and volume 2 of the series and I want to incorporate any ideas you all may want to see so if you have any ideas feel free to send them to my inbox and Iâll work them into future chapters any way I can!
ă»Lastly, comment below how you feel about this longer chapter. Some of my future chapters might be a little lengthy (around 6-11k) and I want to know if you guys enjoy the chapters longer or if I should keep the chapters short (around 3-5k).
I hope yâall enjoy and always feel free to comment and reblog, I love reading yâall reactions!
Current Platforms â Chapter One ă»Chapter Twoă» Series M.list ă»Series Taglistă»Main M.list
âYou must breathe from here,â Tonowari places one hand on his stomach, puffing out his chest as he inhales and straightens out his back, showing you where you must focus your energy. âLet your mind go clear and your heart rest.â Youâve been with Tonowari for the past few hours, learning about all the different aspects about becoming Metkayina from fishing to swimming. You were anxious in the beginning because you were worried that your fondness for Tonowari would be shown through your actions but so far itâs been going well, youâve been able to keep your emotions under control.
Youâve been trying your best to replicate the breathing technique heâs displaying but for some reason you just canât get it right, you keep breathing from your lungs instead of your diaphragm and itâs frustrating because you donât want to embarrass yourself in front of him. When Tonowari notices your struggle he decides to help you, like any good karyu would. âFrom here, y/n.â His low tone vibrates through the air while pressing his large, callous hand on your abdomen, making a shiver run down your spine. You werenât expecting him to touch your stomach and you most certainly didnât expect his hand to be inches away from the waistband of your tewng. When you think things canât get anymore nerve wracking, you feel his other hand make contact with your chest, mindlessly resting his hand right above your cleavage. âYour heartbeat is fast, try to focus.â
âSorry.â You mutter out while looking down at the sand beneath you to avoid his gaze as a purple hue spreads across your cheeks from embarrassment. How can you possibly focus on breathing when you have this beautiful man hunched over your frame and looking down at you with a powerful gaze? As Tonowari instructs you to breathe in and out, inhale deeply and exhale slowly, your eyes wander his figure, watching the rise and fall of his broad chest that was partially covered with intricate tattoos. âAm I doing better now?â You ask timidly, hoping youâre doing the right thing and not making the same mistakes you were earlier.
âMuch better, I think itâs time we move on to your next lesson.â
â
You and Tonowari have moved to the shallow end of the water so he can teach you how to ride the Marine Naâviâs mode of transportation. The Oloâeyktan begins to whoop and click his tongue, drawing the attention of one of the many animals in the surrounding area. âThis is an ilu, you must ride this in order to go to different places within the reef.â As Tonowari explains what to do, you mount the ilu, making sure you feel comfortable before reaching behind your back and grabbing your kuru. âMake the bond gently.â He instructs while holding the iluâs kuru at an angle. You lean your hand forward, allowing your tendrils to connect with the ilu, causing a soft crackle sound to fill the air as tsaheylu forms. When the bond is successful the ilu begins to squirm underneath you as their pupils grow wide from your emotions intertwining with theirs.
âFeel her breath, feel her strength.â You take a deep breath while closing your eyes, allowing your mind to become one with the sea creature. âHold here.â He places his hand on the handle of the iluâs saddle and you copy his actions, wrapping your hand around the brown leather material. âYour posture is incorrect, it must be strong when you dive.â Tonowari was going to talk you through getting into the correct position but since his hands were free with nothing to do âand he wanted another excuse to feel your skinâ he decides to put you in the correct placement.
His right hand comes across your lower back while his left hand grips your thigh before scooting you up on the seat of the saddle. âNow remember, when you dive back in, good position. Very important.â He wanted to emphasize his words because he doesnât want you to fall off and hurt yourself. You nod your head in response, taking in his words before you command the ilu to dive into water. The feeling of riding an ilu was much different than anything youâve experienced, feeling its body move up and down to generate momentum and propels through the water is something youâll definitely have to get accustomed to. After riding for a few minutes you start getting the hang of it, when you feel confident in your stance you click your tongue, causing the ilu to leap out the water and dive back in.
As Tonowari watches from the shallow end, he nods happily, proud that you got the hang of it so quickly. He wasnât expecting you to figure out how to properly ride so soon in your lesson since you werenât used to the reef and doing these types of activities in the water but youâve proved him wrong. After a while of riding Tonowari motions to get you to come back in since itâs almost time for your son and his children to come home from school. You come back to the shore, gently breaking the bond with your ilu and bringing your leg from over the animalâs body and walk back towards land.
Since Tonowari ends your lesson for the day, both of you spend the next hour or so walking around the village exchanging stories about each otherâs clan, telling each other numerous amounts of information. The two of you were soaking up everything the other was saying, wanting to learn more about each otherâs culture. You begin to enlighten him on everything you know about the Omatikaya, from the perspective of being a clan member and as a human who was also a scientist. The topic changes from the different flora and fauna to how the clan gathers together to add their unique designs to the mother loom thatâs given a place of honor in the common area of Hometree.
While youâre getting consumed into your sweet memories of the forest you donât even realize you were only a few feet away from your kelku. In your mind you see this as a perfect opportunity to show Tonowari some memorabilia of your time with the clan. You invite him into your marui and begin showing him blankets you weaved, jewelry youâve crafted, and a few more pieces you think he would enjoy seeing. As Tonowari listens to your stories and sees the bright smile that adorns your face he begins to wonder why you left the forest. From his perspective it seems like you had a wonderful time when you lived among the Omatikaya so heâs curious as to what pushed you into fleeing. His desire to know what happened in the forest that led you here is starting to get the best of him, the question is echoing in his mind and he knows it wonât end until he properly asks.
ây/n, I must ask. If the forest was filled with such fond memories, why did you leave?â As the words are coming from the Oloâeyktanâs mouth he can feel a ping of nervousness strike his chest, having a feeling that the topic could be shaky territory by the way he watches your body grow tense at the mention of why you left. You werenât expecting him to ask your reasoning behind your move at this moment so it caught you off guard. The forest was filled with amazing, beautiful memories youâll forever cherish but thereâs also been dark times that you wish you could forget.
âNeytiri, I feel like Iâm the only adult in this house that cares for Loâak. You and Jake stay away from him as if heâs a disease but both of you practically smother the other kids with attention. Itâs not fair to him, he deserves all his parents to show him love, not just me!â You were getting frustrated with your mates treatment toward Loâak, you know Jake would be a tough cookie to crack but during most situations Neytiri is the level headed one out of the pairing so you were hoping that if you expressed your concerns to her she would be able to receive what you're saying instead of ignoring it.
âMy parenting is the same with all the children, I do not favor one more than the other.â You can see her tail beginning to wip behind her, her ears flattening against her skull, and her face expressions quickly changing. All of those elements put together could only mean one thing, sheâs angry. You hate when she gets upset, unlike Jake she reacts before she thinks of the consequences and when she lashes out she doesnât care if you get hurt in the process. âWhat are you trying to imply, y/n? That I am a bad mother, that I cannot provide motherly love for them?!â The hiss that follows her question is sharp and quick, her tone is slightly calm but you can still hear the anger thatâs trembling behind it which makes you a little more worried but you have to stand your ground, she needs to know what she does affects your son.
âIâm not saying youâre a bad mother butâŠâ You had to stop yourself for a second because you feel like youâre about to tell a lie. If sheâs treating Loâak differently than the others than she is a bad mother no matter which way you try to spin the matter. Maybe Neytiri will finally get it if you tell her to her face and not sugarcoat things like you usually do to spare her feelings. âActually, I take that back. If a mother plays favorites among her children that makes her a bad mother because she isnât treating them equally so yes, you are a bad mother!â
This is what set Neytiri off, sheâs so pissed that she couldnât even control her body and what she did in response to your remark. The Naâvi woman opens her palm and sends a harsh slap across your face, it was so quick that you didnât see it coming but once it makes contact the impact is so strong it forcibly makes you turn your head in the direction of the hit, bringing ample amounts of pain to your cheek, causing a tint of purple to rise to the surface. You stand there in a state of shock, tears clouding your vision as you look at Neytiriâs whoâs yelling at the top of her lungs. âHow dare you say that to me?! I am a good mother!â
âYouâre not Neytiri, stop lying to yourself and to me! When youâre out with Neteyam, Kiri, and Tuk, taking them for little adventures around the forest, you purposefully leave him home with Jake! What type of good mother does that?! And you only have the balls to do it when Iâm not home because you know I wouldnât let that slide!â You shout at her before moving your hand over your cheek, feeling some pain from the aftermath of the slap. âAnd you want to know something else?â You move closer to her, closing the gap between both of you. âA good mother would never hit the mother of their child and a good mate would never lay a hand on their wife!â The more you yell at Neytiri with a tone laced with anger, the more you comprehend that she hit you, your wife, the woman whoâs supposed to love and keep you safe decides to inflict pain on you. âHow could you hit me, Neytiri?! Iâm your wife, youâre supposed to protect me not harm me!â
You havenât thought about that day in a long time. You pushed it deep down in your memory bank, trying to forget the first time your ex-wife put her hands on you but when Tonowari asked you about your reason behind leaving the forest it brought the argument to the front of your mind. That memory along with others are painful, they cause you so much heartache that you wish they could be erased so your brain doesnât have the chance to remember the hurt you felt during those moments. As you begin to come back to reality you feel something drip onto your arm, making you realize that your eyes have produced tears and theyâve been streaming down your face this whole time.
Tonowari can see the loss of light in your eyes, the tears freely flowing down your cheeks, and the way your body shivers at the mention of your past life in the forest. He didnât mean to bring up any bad feelings or memories, he didnât mean to make tears escape your pretty golden eyes, he was only curious about what took place that made you come to the reefs and now itâs clear to him that it wasnât something pleasant. âI apologize for bringing up the topic, I didn't mean to make you upset orââ
âItâs okay, Tonowari. I know that you didnât mean any harm.â You cut him off from his apology, not needing to hear anymore. You know that heâs curious and wants answers, you feel as if you owe him that because he accepted you and your little âitan with open arms but you're just not ready to reveal that part of your life story.
âYou can tell me whenever you feel comfortable, no rush.â Tonowari places his hand on your bicep, squeezing it gently as a form of reassurance and to let you know that heâs here for you. He can see that you have a story to tell and heâll be ready to listen whenever youâre ready to share.
âThank you, that means a lot.â You give him a small smile, allowing him to see a little peek of your canines before you place your hand over his. As you look the Metkayina man in the eyes your heart rate starts to rise at a fast pace and you can feel your stomach tying in knots. In this moment you feel like a teenager again, all the emotions that come with liking someone hitting you all at once. Tonowariâs a sweet man, heâs slowly seeping his way into your heart and honestly you're not opposed to it.
Youâve known him for weeks now and you love everything about him, how great he is with his children, his kind and gentle nature, how heâs an authority figure within the clan but doesnât let the power get to his head, youâre not only physically attracted to him but also to his personality. With both of your hands touching, feeling the warmth radiating from the other's skin, it's like sparks of electricity are burning through your skin. His touch makes you want to melt and you havenât felt this way in years, that jittery feeling that sits and stirs in the pit of your stomach when looking at someone almost feels foreign to you but itâs nice, youâre glad that you can still feel all these emotions about someone after Jake and Neytiri, maybe itâs possible that you have another shot at being in love.
Seeing that your tears are still dampening your cheeks makes Tonowari's heart clench with pain knowing that he canât do anything to dissolve the sadness thatâs overshadowing you, especially since heâs the one who caused said tears by questioning your past. He doesnât like seeing your beautiful face stained with tears so he resolves the issue by using his unoccupied hand to wipe them away. It comes as a surprise to you, before you can process whatâs coming you feel his hand caress your face, his thumb gently gliding against your cheek and underneath your eye, wiping away the tears on one side of your face before moving on to the next.
His soft touch sends a shiver throughout your body, his callous hand feels so warm against your face and his eyes glisten with a sense of care and kindness. Your body is feeling things that your brain is barely able to comprehend, itâs wanting to act on emotions regardless of what your mind is telling you. Your eyes flicker between his eyes and lips, wondering what it would be like to kiss him. Itâs been so long since youâve felt someone elseâs lips against yours, it would be nice to feel some sparks again, to get that electrified feeling in your veins when you kiss someone. âDo it. Kiss him.â The thought echoes through your mind while trying to decipher if itâs a good idea. Before you psych yourself out and say no you just mumble âscrew it.â, place one of your hands on one side of his face, and kiss him.
His lips feel so good against yours, that spark you were hoping to feel is there, you can feel it surging through your veins and causing your heart to thump against your ribcage. The kiss creates a warmth spread through your body, it makes you feel good about making the split decision to kiss Tonowari until you begin to have second thoughts about it. You start to realize that you donât feel Tonowariâs hand touching you in a loving manner, his body seems slightly tense, and his lips arenât making an effort to reciprocate the kiss as you would like. In your mind all those things put together must mean that he doesnât want to kiss you and that he definitely doesnât see you in a romantic way like you hoped he did, causing all the tingling emotions you felt earlier to quickly seize and your body to run cold with embarrassment.
You quickly pull from Tonowari and start spewing out an apology, hoping itâll make the moment less awkward even though you doubt thatâll happen. âTonowari Iâm so sorry, I donât know what I was thinking, Iâm such an idiot-â You spring to your feet and nervously run your hands through your braids, something you tend to do when you're in uncomfortable situations.
âItâs alright, y/n-â
âNo, Tonowari itâs not. It was stupid of me to-â
âMama!â Loâak runs inside the marui with speed and bursting to the seams with energy, wanting to ask you something. When you hear his little voice you mentally thank Ewya for the intervention so you donât have to deal with the discomfort between you and Tonowari right now.
âYes, Loâak?â You reply to his call while turning to face the entryway of the room you're in and giving your son your undivided attention.
âCan I go play with Rotxo for a little while?â Since being here Loâak has made a few friends, including Rotxo who was nice to him when he first started attending school. The two boys usually always play together while at school but today they went to play by the beach and roam the island a little and they know they need parental supervision for that which is why heâs asking you for permission.
With Loâak wanting to hang out with his friend this gives you the perfect opportunity to get out of this embarrassing situation with Tonowari and will allow you to clear your head a little and figure out what to do going forward. âYeah, you can play with him. Iâll change into something different and then we can leave. Okay?â Loâak nods his head and goes to another area of the marui and starts gathering a few of his favorite toys and places them in a woven bag so he can show Rotxo later.
With Loâak now gone it just leaves you and Tonowari again and before he has the chance to rehash the previous conversation you decide to speak up. âIt would be best if you leave now.â Your eyes avoid meeting his gaze and you can barely get out the words before feeling a wave of nausea thinking about how you physically expressed your feelings for a man that doesnât feel the same way.
Tonowari doesnât show any resistance and respects your wishes, not wanting to make you feel worse at this current moment and decides to speak with you later when you both can talk in private. He gives you a slight nod, acknowledging your words and showing that he hears you before leaving like you asked. When you watch the entryway flap close behind him as he walks outside you let out a frustrated sigh and run your hand down your face, wondering how you could possibly be able to see and talk to Tonowari again since now he clearly knows you have romantic feelings for him.
You want to figure this out as soon as possible so you can calm your nerves but right now you have to put that on pause and go into mother mode for Loâak and meet his new friend and his mother. You take a deep breath and rest your mind, shifting your attention to getting ready to go into the village and mingle with your new clan members. Once you change into a new matching set and drink a few sips of water you're ready to take Loâak to his playdate and try to forget about your crash and burn moment with the Oloâeyktan.
â
Itâs sunny around this time of day, the ocean water is slightly warm and the aquatic life is very active, fish swimming calmly in the water, energetic Ilu leaping out the water every so often, and sea otters sunbathing and basking in the sun's light. When you and Loâak make it to the heart of the village you can see Rotxo whoâs standing next to an older woman who you assume to be his mom and when him and Loâak make eye contact they immediately run to each other before dashing off to play, making you chuckle at their eagerness. âLoâak, stay where I can see you!â You shout to him because you know if you donât heâll start roaming all over the island and you wonât know where he is.
âPadma, itâs nice to meet you.â The woman says as she walks over to you, starting up a conversation. Youâve seen her around the village a handful of times since you arrived but you both never crossed paths before so this is the first time youâve talked with her.
She extends her hand out for you to shake and you comply, wrapping your hand around hers in a firm shake before introducing yourself and telling her your name. âItâs nice to meet you as well, it seems like our boys are getting along nicely.â
âYes they are. Iâm glad they found each other.â She says with a soft smile before she turns and picks up the woven basket next to her that is filled with multiple different fruits and places it on her hip so she can take it home with her. âWould you like to come to my mauri and help me prepare a snack for the boys?â Padma assumes that after all the playing the boys will be doing theyâll be hungry and want a little treat.
Padma watches how your facial expression changes and notices the look of concern that comes across your face when you focus your attention over to Loâak showing Rotxo his wooden ikran toys, knowing that you want to keep an eye on him at all times. âDonât worry, my mauri faces where they are playing so youâll be able to watch him and make sure heâs safe.â When you hear that it makes you feel better, which means you agree to going with Padma to her home.
It only takes a few minutes to make it to her mauri and when you walk inside Padma invites you to come sit down next to her in the common area and places the basket of fruit between the both of you. She takes her knife out of its sheath and begins to cut away the skin of fruit while you start cutting another fruit into cubes. âSo, y/n, how are you liking it here so far?â
âItâs taken me a while to learn and adjust to all the new lifestyle aspects but other than that Iâve been enjoying my time here so far.â Being among the Metkayina has been different but itâs been fun, being here makes you feel more free to be yourself and you donât feel the need to have your guard up or always have to be fearful about going home at the end of the day. Going home to a relaxed environment is something youâve always wished for since your past relationship started to derail so to have that now makes your spirit feel at peace.
âThatâs good to hear, have you made any friends yet?â
âNo, I donât think the women in the clan are too fond of me yet.â Most of the Matkayina women havenât been very receptive to your presence amongst the clan yet. Whenever you're walking around the village, trying to complete your daily tasks until you find a permanent role in the clan, some of them will stare at you while others will exchange hushed words while you walk by. You know the reason they arenât receptive to you is because youâre a dreamwalker and your DNA contains human genes and honestly you donât feel any sort of way about it because you dealt with the same thing when you first joined the Omatikaya. It took a while for them to warm up to you and start befriending you so you know itâll be the same here. The only difference is that at least with the Omatikaya you still had your scientist friends in the lab so you werenât completely alone but here you donât really have any form of friendships except for Tonowari which youâre grateful for, regardless of your current situation with him but you would like you to find some women to hangout with.
âWell, consider me your first friend here.â Padma says with a smile, wanting you to feel welcome and that you have someone in your corner and like you have a sense of community here so you donât have to be alone. Hearing that makes a small smile curl onto your lips and you begin to feel like youâre officially starting to build a new life here.
For the next hour or so you and Padma talk about multiple topics, asking questions and sparking up conversations to help the both of you bond and get to know each other better. While you're listening to Padma talk about how she met her mate and their love story, you begin to think about what happened between you and Tonowari earlier. You know that you canât ignore him and that you have to talk to him about it but you have no idea what youâre going to say the next time you see him. While Padma is talking she notices how your mind is elsewhere and that you've zoned out of the conversation. She can see that something is on your mind and she feels like it would be rude of her not to ask and see if there was any way she could help. ây/n, is everything okay? I can tell your mind somewhere else.â
Before answering her question you wonder if you should tell Padma whatâs troubling you, that you're having trouble in the love department which is kind of surprising to you since youâve only been living among the Metkayina for a few weeks. On one hand you donât really want to say anything because you arenât a fan of telling your business but on the other hand you donât know what to do about Tonowari and it would be good to get some advice. âThere is something bothering me.â A small sigh escapes your lips before placing your knife down and putting the fruit youâve prepared in a wooden bowl. âI have feelings for someone here, me and him are getting along well but I think I messed things up with him.â You decided talking to her about whatâs going on would be best but to protect your privacy and Tonowariâs, especially with him being Oloâeyktan, you decided to keep his name out of the conversation.
Padma wasnât expecting you to need advice relationship wise, not because she didnât see you finding love with someone on the island but because you havenât been here long but nonetheless sheâs willing to help you in whatever way she can. âWhat do you mean âyou messed things upâ? What happened? If youâre willing to share of course.â You begin to tell her what happened with Tonowari, specifically the part where sparks flickered between you two and that you kissed him out of the blue, not wanting to give away too many details but give the important parts thatâll help Padma understand whatâs going on between you and Tonowari.
As you talk and explain Padma listens carefully, wanting to make sure she hears everything before giving her opinion on the matter. Once you finish talking she gathers her thoughts and starts giving her advice. âI think that you just need to talk it out with him, it couldâve been a reason why he didnât kiss back. When you kissed him he couldâve just been taken by surprise because he didnât expect it.â
âYouâre right, that could be it. Iâll talk to him and hopefully it goes the way I want it to. Thank you Padma.â
âOf course, I hope your mind is at ease now.â
âIt is, and Iâm hoping that this conversation stays between us.â You imply that you want the conversation that just took place to go no further than these four walls and Padma respects your wishes and promises not to speak of it with anyone. While the conversation shifts to another topic you can hear little voices and footsteps approaching and within the next few seconds Loâak and Rotxo come running inside asking for a snack, good thing you and Padma were already ten steps ahead and have something prepared for their rumbling stomachs.
â
The sun has started to slowly fall behind the horizon, causing the clear blue skyâs to fade and turn into a beautiful mixture of red and orange. With all the playing, swimming, and even a little roughhousing the boys have officially tired themselves out. Both Loâak and Rotxo's eyes are starting to grow heavy, meaning itâs time for them to take a nap. While Loâak and Rotxo are saying their goodbyes, you and Padma make plans to hang out later in the week, she tells you that she knows a great place on the island to have a picnic and you definitely canât wait to go since you havenât fully explored the island yet.
Once you and Padma wrap up your conversation, you grab Loâak by the hand and start walking along the spongy pathways around the village and make your way to your mauri. âLoâak, how was your time with Rotxo? Did you have fun?â
âI had so much fun, Rotxo is the coolest! He showed me how to do all these tricks on his Ilu and while we were in the water he caught a fish with his bare hands!â Loâak tells you about everything he and Rotxo did his voice is laced with excitement while he tells you each and every detail, making you smile at the fact he enjoyed his time with his friend and that heâs adjusting well to living with the Metkayina, especially socially. âIâm glad you had fun, yawntutsyĂŹp.â
You and Loâak continue talking as you walk home which makes the walk seem shorter than it usually is. Since Loâak has a newfound burst of energy he believes he doesnât need a nap but you tell him otherwise. âLoâak, if you donât take a nap youâll be tired later at dinner and-â When you turn the corner and are a few steps away from the entryway of your home you can see Tonowari standing in front of your mauri, causing your words to become lodged in your throat at the sight of him.
You were planning on talking to him, at the earliest tomorrow so you could have a night to figure out what to say and gather your thoughts but since he showed up without you having any prior knowledge you have no idea what youâre gonna say to him so now you have to rack your brain on what to say. Loâak is still standing beside you and the conversation you need to have with Tonowari definitely isnât for childrenâs ears so you send him inside. âLo, go inside and clean up so you can take your nap.â
âBut Mama, I donât wanna take a-â
âNow, Loâak.â When your son hears the sternness in your voice and the seriousness written on your face he makes a beeline for the mauri and does as you told him to. Once he makes it inside and you see the flap close behind him, you turn your attention to Tonowari and try to mentally prepare for the pending conversation. The Oloâeyktan walks closer to you before you can do it yourself, making your words begin to scramble in your brain and your mouth to start moving at a mile a minute before you can stop yourself. âAgain, I just want to say Iâm so sorry for kissing you out of the blue like I did. I shouldnât have just assumed you have feelings for me, it was impulsive and-â
Before you can finish your rant, telling him how sorry you are for making things awkward between you both, Tonowari closes the gap between the two of you while his eyes lock intensively with yours, making your heart race. Suddenly, he leans in and presses his lips firmly against yours, causing your eyes to slightly widen in shock and your body to freeze while your mind is racing as you attempt to process whatâs happening. The warmth thatâs radiating from him overwhelms your senses, making you feel like you're on a sugar high. After a few seconds the initial shock fades you begin to relax and kiss him back, allowing your feelings to take over.
You lean into Tonowari, feeling his strength as he pulls you closer to him, one hand cradling your cheek while the other finds its way wrapped around your waist, anchoring you in place. His large hands on different parts of your body makes you want to melt in this moment. His lips are soft and insistent, moving so tenderly across yours that it takes your breath away. As the kiss deepens you can almost taste the sea salt on his lips, itâs intoxicating yet captivating, making the world feel like itâs fading and turning into a blur.
After what feels like hours but in reality is minutes, Tonowari pulls back and both of you are left breathless, making a smile appear on both of your lips, his because he feels a wave of joy and yours because you're still a little surprised that he kissed you and how amazing a kiss it was. Itâs been many years since youâve had an intimate kiss like this before, feeling another warm body against yours was a feeling you definitely missed and are so glad to have that again with someone you genuinely like.
ây/n,â The Metkayina begins, his voice low and filled with sincerity, still lingering in the warmth of the moment you both shared, hoping he can gather the right words. âYou donât need to apologize, earlier I wanted to kiss you but I was taken aback, at that moment I didn't know what to do.â When you kissed Tonowari earlier he was in shock, he didnât know how to react so he just froze up. Since Ronal died he hasnât had feelings for anyone so when he met you everything felt so new and different to him, he didnât expect to feel a connection with anyone again, especially with someone so different from him but he loved the way you made him feel.
âI didnât mean to catch you off guard, I was just caught up in the moment.â You reply softly, beginning to feel a hint of shyness creep into your voice due to the way Tonowariâs eyes feel like they are peering directly into your soul.
âIâm glad you did, if you hadnât I wouldnât have known you felt the way I feel for you and we wouldnât be here now.â He reassures you that everything that has happened was meant to be, the two of you were meant to share your first real kiss a few feet away from the ocean waves that are crashing against the sand, it was already written in the stars that the two of you would share such a special moment on the part of the island thatâs secluded, meaning you donât have to worry about prying eyes of the village, it would just be you and him, exploring your connection without fear.
âSo, what does this mean for us?â With Eywa giving you a second chance at finding love you donât want to beat around the bush or once he goes home begin thinking about what the next step is so you decide to be blunt and ask him upfront so you can have a clear understanding. âWhere do we go from here?â
âI want to explore what we have and where this connection can lead but I want to take things slow. Itâs been years since I was in a relationship and I donât want to rush into anything, I want everything to happen the way Eywa intends.â For years Tonowari was hesitant on opening his heart again, afraid that he would grow to love a person just to lose someone else heâs grown to care for. Now that youâve broken the walls he set around his heart heâs ready to find that special connection with someone and heâs willing to take the risk of being hurt because to him youâre worth it.
âI understand how you feel completely, I think it would be best to take our time and just further build our connection.â Youâre glad you and Tonowari are on the same page with how you should go about your relationship because you want to take things slow with him, wanting to make sure you can fully trust him before letting him into your life completely.
âI like the sound of that.â Tonowari replies with a soft smile before he reaches for your hand and intertwines your hand with his. The warmth of his grip sends a comforting shiver through your body, grounding you in the moment. The gentle pressure of his hand against yours feels like an unspoken promise, a commitment to explore the connection blossoming between you.
Since Tonowari has a little free time and Loâak was inside sleeping you decide to take him down by the shore with you. With your hands already connected itâs easy to guide Tonowari a few feet away from your home and closer to the water before you find the perfect place to settle. Both of you sit down in the warm sand and you lean against Tonowari, resting your head on his shoulder while he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you closer to him, making you relax under his touch.
It feels nice to have a man by your side, a true man, not someone who disrespects and treats you like a burden. When you left the forest you didnât know if you would find love again, you didnât even know if you wanted to try and find someone again after what you endured but it seems like Eywa had her own plans in motion, allowing you and Tonowari to meet was definitely her way of telling you that itâs okay to open your heart again.
As you sit nestled against him, you realize how different this feels. Tonowariâs presence is calming and genuine, a total contrast to the chaos of your past. He listens intently when you speak, his gaze always filled with warmth and understanding. The way he holds you makes you feel valued, cherished even, which is a new feeling for you, but one that you love.
You take a moment to appreciate the beauty around youâthe colors of the sunset painting the sky, the gentle sound of waves crashing against the shore, and the feel of sand beneath you. In this peaceful setting, you begin to let go of your reservations. The fear that once held you captive starts to dissolve and replaces itself with hope that maybe you can build something real with him. With every soft touch and shared glance, you sense the possibility of a future where love isnât synonymous with pain.
As the minutes pass, the conversation flows effortlessly between you, filled with laughter and shared stories. Tonowari speaks of his childhood, his eyes lighting up as he recalls the joyous moments which allow you to see a different side of him while you share stories from your life in the forest, a few that are a little more personal to you than the ones you told him earlier today and will help him get to know you better than he did before. Each story thatâs told deepens your bond, revealing layers of who you both are and allowing you to grow closer. Occasionally, Tonowari leans down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead or cheek, gestures that send shivers through your entire being. You canât help but smile, feeling a sense of safety and belonging you thought youâd lost forever. The world around you fades, leaving just the two of you, wrapped in your own cloud of shared comfort and emerging trust.
As the last rays of sunlight dip below the horizon, casting a warm glow around you, you lean closer into Tonowariâs embrace, feeling a sense of peace settle in your heart. In this moment, surrounded by natureâs beauty and the man who makes your heart flutter, you realize that the walls you once built to protect yourself are beginning to crumble. With Tonowari, you sense a future filled with possibilityâa future where love is not only attainable but also vibrant and real. With laughter still echoing between you and the gentle waves serenading your moment, you realize that you didn't just find a refuge from your past, but the promise of a beautiful journey aheadâone that you are eager to explore together.
Previous â Chapter Twoă»Next â Chapter Four
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Jesus I wrote a lot-
I've been going on and off on making an interactive game where you, the reader, can date, form bonds and talk with the characters all while going through a large-spanning story. Basically fanfic where it's personalized. (You get to choose dialogue options, romantic partner(s), limited backgrounds, gender, personalize your name, etc.) But the problem is I originally made it for an entirely different character.
In other terms, I need anyone who is interested, to vote how I continue this project!
I don't want to spoil too much, but basically the reader is a genetically modified human (I know we all want to be Na'vi but let me cook PLEASASEE) who's a senator/diplomat to another faction called The United Colonies of Sol. They are not allied with the RDA at all, in fact they've come to Pandora to support Jake Sully.
The problem is how I start the story. Originally, it was to be a relative love story between the characters So'lek, Eetu, Teylan, Nor, the Sarentu... And more... (So many characters guys ahhh), but mainly So'lek.
The journey would go something like this: ship crashes, So'lek brings reader to the resistance once he finds out they need to contact Jake Sully. He decides to act as a courier and help deliver them. An Odessy kinda happens where they traverse different areas all while (maybe) falling in love. I thought the dynamic would be cute seeing as reader would be polarizing in comparison to the humans he's met so far (might go further into detail if the other vote wins or if people are curious).
But I found that it might be restrictive to those who've never played AFOP and overall limit the audience. Although the idea works best in that space, I've written 40,000 words in total of the current 'demo' which goes something like this:
Reader crashes (again) but where the Metikaya (I know I'm spelling that wrong, I'm on my phone guys please đ) are located, sadly causing mass destruction. During recovery they meet Tsireya and the other main cast. Having met Jake Sully and possibly gaining his trust, now they need to try finding a way to find their main crew all while the RDA grows in power/influence, and the events of Avatar: Fire and Ash happens. (I know by the time the film releases I'm prob gonna be near that point).
So as you guys can probably see, they're pretty different in characters and motives. Long run, they'll be completely different stories.
On one hand, with AFOP I have the story more formulated to fit the narrative, with the dynamic of the characters and their seperate wants considered for the story. Even the resistance connection to the reader would make better sense. But again, limited and alienating, and the main cast wouldn't be seen for a LONNNGG time... Like, holy shit.
On the other, ATWOW the inclusion of reader will feel less natural and more hand fisted, and how the story goes genuinly relies on plot then character driven actions (mainly) and with the uncertainty of how AFAA will go, it might become obsolete. But, I have already written 40 thousand along with its code as a base. Plus you get to date and talk to the main cast much quicker
No matter how you guys vote, I'll likely reveal info on the AFOP story line on what was supposed to happen, characters, arcs etc. likewise with ATWOW, I'll release the demo if the other wins cause... Damn, 40 thousand words wasted? Nuh uh!
If you have questions, feel free to ask!
Reblog if youâre part of it.
đLo'ak chokerđ
Available again in my Etsy shop. It took me two days of work but I am always glad when I see the final result. Handmade with wax cord, beads and animal teeth.
Click on the link to buy it!