I Have Been Up For Over 40 Hours Straight. God, I'm So Tired, But Everytime I Try To Close My Eyes I'm

I have been up for over 40 hours straight. God, I'm so tired, but everytime I try to close my eyes I'm reminded of all the things I've been running from. It's not so bad, really. I just sometimes wish things were a bit simpler. For most of my life I thought I was a freezer. When faced with issues or uncomfortable situations I wouldn't run, or fight, I'd just freeze. I would become an incomprehensible mess. But honestly I'm a runner. Maybe not in the most obvious or traditional of ways, but when I can't physically run, I run emotionally. I isolate, I push away, I retreat so deeply into myself, sometimes I wonder if I'll ever be able to find my way back out. In a way it's worse than freezing, because when you are frozen at least you're still. When you're running, there's no break, there's no pause button, it's just you in this ongoing whirlwind, pulling you further and further away from who you used to be.

More Posts from Livinglikeriiver and Others

2 years ago

I feel like he definitely isn’t my soulmate, however, I’m going to keep chasing after him because it’s fun and time-consuming

3 years ago

Health & Safety & Juliet’s Balcony

Don’t keep opening that door or the sunlight will get me, grip me, force me warm through

like your hands do like the whispered suggestions you put to me when I’m edging closer to dawn.

Don’t keep leaving perfect blossoms on my pillow, their imminent demise leaves stains, my love,

and I think the secret is

we’re not changing the ending from here no matter how sultry your promises

this will hurt sooner or later it will hurt

more with these crumpled sheets cradling your body right inside daytime,

more with that door wide open to falling brightness, falling yearning, falling cautions abandoned

on white-painted floorboards, in the folds of your dropped clothes, under your tongue,

in the breeze slipping past these blazing sunrays.


Tags
3 years ago

You can't blame the monster for doing what's natural to them.

Angels are so far above the evils of men.

3 years ago

I feel like such a temporary person in everyone’s life

3 years ago

His hand on her throat

Blossoms the rose

𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐤

3 years ago

“I think Tumblr has changed my whole personality and lifestyle.”

2 years ago
NGC 6960, Witch’s Broom

NGC 6960, Witch’s Broom

6 years ago

“An atheist cannot be spiritual. But you must understand that even a theist cannot be spiritual. Because an atheist and a theist are not different. One believes there is God, another believes there is no God. Both of them are believing something that they do not know. You are not sincere enough to admit that you do not know, that’s your problem. So theists and atheists are not different. They are the same people putting up an act of being different. A spiritual seeker is neither a theist nor an atheist. He has realized that he does not know, so he is seeking.”

— Sadhguru Jaggi Vasudev (via jiteshkhanna)

5 years ago

I just wish thing in my career work out as i want to export my paintings

Reblog if you could use a little good luck to start your fall - this spell is for you: a white candle for purification, some dried orange peel and senna leaf for luck and magic, and the cutest little acorn I could find :)

Reblog If You Could Use A Little Good Luck To Start Your Fall - This Spell Is For You: A White Candle
  • laurentwhites
    laurentwhites liked this · 5 years ago
  • livinglikeriiver
    livinglikeriiver reblogged this · 6 years ago

In search of my Destiny!! Loves to Read !!🧚‍♀️🧜‍♀️🧙‍♀️ n Believes in Magic🦋👑💫

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