So I’m Starting This Tomorrow And Ill Keep You Guys Updated I Have Some Pals Doing It With Me To Keep

Weighed in at 69.80kg this morning 👌

The thought of me being dead will always haunt me. No matter how much fun I would have. I’d think that everything would be better if I wouldn’t be here while I‘m laughing with you.

(-deepthoughtsvibes)

I’m not usually scared of liquid calories but today I had 2 McDonald’s coffee frappe (no whipped cream and no chocolate drizzle) but I’m still fuxking scared of how many calories I had today even tho I only ate 200 calories.

I’m not usually this scared of liquid cals, I avoid them where I can but I’ve got my safe drinks which is caramel latte (120 cals wit milk) and McDonald’s coffee frappe (no cream or chocolate) (400 cals) which usually make me happy and not give me a panic attack like they did today. I’ve had so many calories today it’s not funny and I’m positive I’m gonna gain weight!

I just want to throw myself of a bridge for letting myself have this many calories, it’s like I want to stay fat at this point.

I’m so over myself and I just want this to end

problems of anas starting at an actual obese weight

-your lowest weight is other peoples highest.

-people never noticing that you don’t eat due to your weight.

-ACTUALLY being medically fat, not just feeling fat.

-having legitimate problems working out (knees can’t handle all the weight, asthma, etc)

-”you probably shouldn’t eat that, should you?” when taking your first bite of a remotely unhealthy food in MONTHS.

-losing over 70lbs and still not be close to ‘thin’.

-thinner anas looking down on you because you’re not skinny enough. (actually happened)

-thinner anas telling you to ‘stop starving yourself’ or ‘turn back before you get sick’ when you’ve actually been doing this longer than them.

-MORE SIDE EFFECTS!

-being petty and offended when people half your size call themselves fat in front of you, well knowing you weigh twice as much as them. (this is a personal problem but still)

-actually being happy to be at a NORMAL weight for once. 

-”MY BMI IS FINALLY UNDER 25!”

-lower chances of actually hitting your ugw because your body literally can’t lose more.

-LOOSE SKIN. L O T S OF IT. 

-knowing you’ve lost more than most of the fellow anas, but not being able to talk about it because your cw isn’t low enough just yet.

so shoutout to all the bigger people with anorexic tendencies, because they deserve way more. because they’ve gone through this pain for so long without enough recognition. because within the ana community, they’re often not even acknowledged. because THEY ARE VALID TOO. 

i started at over 250lbs and hit my first plateau at 149, so i do have a right to complain, thank you very much. (i’m just over 5′4. just imagine.)

Some things to think about whenever you next feel like giving up or binging

Stay safe ♡

Ive been fasting for 127 hours and I have to break it today and I’m terrified. I hit 73.40kg which is awesome and by next week I hope I hit 72.80-73.00kg cause I need to lose so much weight I hate being over weight it’s literally horrible.

The only horrible thing about this is I am not seeing and or much physical changes like I’m still huge, yeah the number on the scale isn’t 85kg anymore but I’m still humongous I just want to be petite already.

"My child is completely fine" your child would do anything to lose 30lbs in a week

oh to be skin and bones <3

1 hour workout update!!

Hi! Again with my updates, I complited my workout before the time was up! I also stuck to my calorie limit and I will maybe lose a pound so maybe I will be 45,9 kg! (I’m tooo lazy for math rn so look it up if you’re from US of UK or idk) And with my diet maybe just maybe I will be 45 kg or even 44 kg! (wich is my UGW) My legs are still sooo fat! I would’ve shown you a picture of them but I don’t have a phone .-. Also with new diet for a week I down graded my workout to 30 min or 45 min, because I have school and I can’t be so exausted I can’t stand on my own, wich happens after my workout.  .  .I will try to do it for an hour but no promises.  .  .OH! And for peeps who are curious what I do for my workout here it is, maybe it’s not so weird and exausting at first, but it helps.  .  .

Of course remember to stay safe xoxo! 🖤🖤🖤