“But We Were Ever So Careful, Dear.”

Plot twist: The alpha on the fifth day was Jung-bae and he’s the father.

“Okay,” Jung-bae said gently. “Just calm down. You can’t smoke to calm down anymore, so try deep breathing or… count to ten or whatever pregnant people do.”

“I’m going to be the talk of my ex-wife’s garden club until I die,” Gi-hun moaned, collapsing onto the couch.

“Come on, buddy,” Jung-bae said, patting his shoulder. “No use spiraling. Let’s just figure this out logically, yeah? Start by mapping them out.” He went to a corkboard covered in tickets and various photographs and took them down stacking them neatly before producing sticky notes and tacks as if they were detectives. “You said four alphas, some you know, some you don’t—five days, four mistakes. Let’s go in order. Who was first?”

Gi-hun scratched his cheek. “Sang-woo,” He muttered. Then, because of course it needed clarification, “Cho Sang-woo.”

Jung-bae froze mid-tack, his eyebrows crawling up into his hairline. “Cho Sang-woo? The Cho Sang-woo? The pride of Ssangmun-dong? That Cho Sang-woo?”

Gi-hun raised an eyebrow. “What, is there another one?”

Jung-bae shook his head slowly, like he could not believe what he was writing as he scribbled the name down. The tack made a particularly judgmental squeak as he pinned it to the board. “I’m just surprised. I know you two were like childhood sweethearts or whatever, but from the few times we’ve gone out for drinks I’ve seen him smile exactly once, and it looked like it hurt him physically.” He glanced over. “So, when you two finished, did he give you a performance review or…?”

He ducked just in time to dodge the flying shoe.

“If anyone should be questioning the decision,” Gi-hun said, “It’s Sang-woo! He could have far more suitable omegas. Goodness knows his mother only talks about it every time I come by her stall. ‘My Sang-woo is the most eligible bachelor—handsome and rich!’”

“He could,” Jung-bae agreed instantly.

The other shoe flew through the air.

“Okay! Okay! Moving on!” Jung-bae yelped, scribbling like his life depended on it. “Second alpha?”

“In-ho,” Gi-hun said, arms crossed tight. “Hwang In-ho.”

Jung-bae nodded, writing it down. “Someone we don’t know. Progress. Got an age? Occupation?”

“Forty-five. Two years younger than me. He’s a cop.”

Jung-bae stopped mid-letter. “You slept with a cop? What if it was a sting? What if he thought you were—”

“I’m not a criminal!” Gi-hun snapped. “The only arrest on my record was from—” He stopped himself, mouth shutting with a click.

Jung-bae raised one slow, unimpressed eyebrow.

“It wasn’t for prostitution, I’ll tell you that,” Gi-hun muttered, waving him off.

“Alright, alright,” Jung-bae said, sticking it to the board. “Third alpha?”

“I don’t know his name,” Gi-hun mumbled, suddenly very interested in a frayed thread on the couch cushion.

The pen dropped.

“You don’t know—?”

“But!” Gi-hun sprang up and grabbed the pen and one of the sticky notes. “I can draw his face.”

Moments later, he stepped back to reveal a truly tragic sketch: a face with massive round eyes, cartoonish lips and parted dark hair.

Jung-bae stared at it. Blinked. “Great. We’ll print these out. Tape them to lampposts. Wanted: Alpha Baby Daddy. Likes long walks and kissing with these lips apparently—”

“Shut up!” Gi-hun threw himself back onto the couch.

“Last one?”

Gi-hun sighed. “Jun-ho.”

“Okay, cool—”

“Hwang Jun-ho.”

Jung-bae looked up sharply. “That’s… that’s a funny coincidence.”

Gi-hun did not look at him. “It’s uh. Not a coincidence. That’s In-ho’s little brother.”

Silence.

Jung-bae stared at the cork board. Then at Gi-hun. Then at the cork board again, like it might rearrange itself into something more reasonable.

“...You slept with two brothers. Two. Brothers.”

Gi-hun covered his face with a pillow and screamed into it. Then he pulled it away and moaned in despair,”I didn’t know that until after the fact I swear!”

OR: Omega Gi-hun spends a particularly nasty heat with four different alphas, Sang-woo, In-ho, Jun-ho, and the Salesman, and gets pregnant and then has to find out who the father is.

THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULD POSSIBLY WANT AND MORE!!! 🙏🙏

anon if u write this into a fic, i will give u my first born 😩🙌 i need to know how and why gihun transitioned from one man to the next! 🥹

also, four alphas in five days, damn gihun.... even during a heat, that's crazy lmao donna sheridan final boss

Taylor and Nick at the 2024 Vanity Fair Oscars Party

Happy DoubleParker Day, everyone! (3/2)

HAPPY NEW YEAR 🥳🎉🥂

RED, WHITE & ROYAL BLUE

[id: a light pink userbox with a reddish pink border, and reddish pink text that reads “this user’s special interest are the spider-man films.” on the left is an image of the spider-man logo. /end id]

Am I the only one who thinks Zahra and Mr. Farouk from “Heartstopper” would be the best of friends?

While y’all were going feral on the new RWRB poster for the LA screening (believe me, I was too lol), I found a connection between that and an old promo poster. This has to do with Taylor and Nick behind the photo shoots.

I’m sure in the first pic, the photographer or Matthew told Taylor and Nick to look and act horny. As we can see, Taylor has one hand on Nick’s hip and the other planted firmly on the wall and Nick is tugging on Taylor’s tie. They look at each other with lusty eyes and the photographer took the picture.

In the second pic, we see Taylor and Nick smiling widely and in the same position (minus Taylor’s hand on the wall). I want to believe that these two goofballs started laughing the second the photographer took the picture from the first one. Just the idea of looking at your friend seductively like that makes you crack up and finding the whole situation so silly. Either Matthew or the photographer were looking at the boys and thought this was Alex and Henry coded and decided to a take a picture of that, too.

Was the old promo picture taken as T&N or A&H? I don’t know. But I will say that this is another piece of evidence of why T&N were the perfect choices as A&H.

RWRB SEQUEL!

Matthew working with Taylor and Nick be like: