Lilmissfanficwriter - God Bless This App’s Genetics

Plot twist: The alpha on the fifth day was Jung-bae and he’s the father.

“Okay,” Jung-bae said gently. “Just calm down. You can’t smoke to calm down anymore, so try deep breathing or… count to ten or whatever pregnant people do.”

“I’m going to be the talk of my ex-wife’s garden club until I die,” Gi-hun moaned, collapsing onto the couch.

“Come on, buddy,” Jung-bae said, patting his shoulder. “No use spiraling. Let’s just figure this out logically, yeah? Start by mapping them out.” He went to a corkboard covered in tickets and various photographs and took them down stacking them neatly before producing sticky notes and tacks as if they were detectives. “You said four alphas, some you know, some you don’t—five days, four mistakes. Let’s go in order. Who was first?”

Gi-hun scratched his cheek. “Sang-woo,” He muttered. Then, because of course it needed clarification, “Cho Sang-woo.”

Jung-bae froze mid-tack, his eyebrows crawling up into his hairline. “Cho Sang-woo? The Cho Sang-woo? The pride of Ssangmun-dong? That Cho Sang-woo?”

Gi-hun raised an eyebrow. “What, is there another one?”

Jung-bae shook his head slowly, like he could not believe what he was writing as he scribbled the name down. The tack made a particularly judgmental squeak as he pinned it to the board. “I’m just surprised. I know you two were like childhood sweethearts or whatever, but from the few times we’ve gone out for drinks I’ve seen him smile exactly once, and it looked like it hurt him physically.” He glanced over. “So, when you two finished, did he give you a performance review or…?”

He ducked just in time to dodge the flying shoe.

“If anyone should be questioning the decision,” Gi-hun said, “It’s Sang-woo! He could have far more suitable omegas. Goodness knows his mother only talks about it every time I come by her stall. ‘My Sang-woo is the most eligible bachelor—handsome and rich!’”

“He could,” Jung-bae agreed instantly.

The other shoe flew through the air.

“Okay! Okay! Moving on!” Jung-bae yelped, scribbling like his life depended on it. “Second alpha?”

“In-ho,” Gi-hun said, arms crossed tight. “Hwang In-ho.”

Jung-bae nodded, writing it down. “Someone we don’t know. Progress. Got an age? Occupation?”

“Forty-five. Two years younger than me. He’s a cop.”

Jung-bae stopped mid-letter. “You slept with a cop? What if it was a sting? What if he thought you were—”

“I’m not a criminal!” Gi-hun snapped. “The only arrest on my record was from—” He stopped himself, mouth shutting with a click.

Jung-bae raised one slow, unimpressed eyebrow.

“It wasn’t for prostitution, I’ll tell you that,” Gi-hun muttered, waving him off.

“Alright, alright,” Jung-bae said, sticking it to the board. “Third alpha?”

“I don’t know his name,” Gi-hun mumbled, suddenly very interested in a frayed thread on the couch cushion.

The pen dropped.

“You don’t know—?”

“But!” Gi-hun sprang up and grabbed the pen and one of the sticky notes. “I can draw his face.”

Moments later, he stepped back to reveal a truly tragic sketch: a face with massive round eyes, cartoonish lips and parted dark hair.

Jung-bae stared at it. Blinked. “Great. We’ll print these out. Tape them to lampposts. Wanted: Alpha Baby Daddy. Likes long walks and kissing with these lips apparently—”

“Shut up!” Gi-hun threw himself back onto the couch.

“Last one?”

Gi-hun sighed. “Jun-ho.”

“Okay, cool—”

“Hwang Jun-ho.”

Jung-bae looked up sharply. “That’s… that’s a funny coincidence.”

Gi-hun did not look at him. “It’s uh. Not a coincidence. That’s In-ho’s little brother.”

Silence.

Jung-bae stared at the cork board. Then at Gi-hun. Then at the cork board again, like it might rearrange itself into something more reasonable.

“...You slept with two brothers. Two. Brothers.”

Gi-hun covered his face with a pillow and screamed into it. Then he pulled it away and moaned in despair,”I didn’t know that until after the fact I swear!”

OR: Omega Gi-hun spends a particularly nasty heat with four different alphas, Sang-woo, In-ho, Jun-ho, and the Salesman, and gets pregnant and then has to find out who the father is.

THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULD POSSIBLY WANT AND MORE!!! 🙏🙏

anon if u write this into a fic, i will give u my first born 😩🙌 i need to know how and why gihun transitioned from one man to the next! 🥹

also, four alphas in five days, damn gihun.... even during a heat, that's crazy lmao donna sheridan final boss

Don’t mind me…I’m just thinking about how spiders are naturally talented and skilled weavers and they know how to weave their webs and even make functional, stylish homes and nests and whatnot.

So maybe that’s why Spider-Man knows how to sew his suits. He inherited that trait from the spider and just instinctively know how to weave his suits. Maybe. That’s my explanation for it.

it's so funny to me 😭😭

Soup

Parker: (calls Peter) Hello?

Peter: Hey, what’s up?

Parker: I need your help. Can you come here?

Peter: I can’t. I’m buying clothes.

Parker: All right, well, hurry up and get over here.

Peter: I can’t find them.

Parker: What do you mean, you can’t find them?

Peter: I can’t find them. There’s only soup.

Parker: What do you mean, there’s only soup?

Peter: It means there’s only soup.

Parker: Well then, get out of the soup aisle!

Peter: All right. You don’t have to shout at me. (Walks to next aisle) There’s more soup.

Parker: What do you mean, there’s more soup?!

Peter: There’s just more soup.

Parker: Go to the next aisle!

Peter: (at next aisle) There’s still soup.

Parker: Where are you right now?!

Peter: I’m at soup!

Parker: What do you mean, you’re at soup?!

Peter: I mean I’m at soup!

Parker: What store are you in?!

Peter: I’m at the soup store!

Parker: WHY ARE YOU BUYING CLOTHES AT THE SOUP STORE?!

Peter: FUCK YOU!

i am sorry I had to

OKAY SO I JUST GOT BACK FROM WATCHING SPIDER-MAN NWH THE MORE FUN STUFF VERSION AND I WANNA SHARE MY THOUGHTS ON ONE SCENE! BEWARE OF SPOILERS!

You know that one scene where the three Spider-Men were chatting at the Statue of Liberty? The part where Peter-One and Peter-Three were talking about Peter-Two’s web situation? Well, there’s a line that had me SCREAMING.

When P2 was explaining how he shoots his webs, P3 thought that’s cool and he’d like to see a closer look and said - I quote -, “I wanna see the holes” (P2’s wrist holes). I guess P2 must’ve had a dirty mind because he made a face that was kinda like, “😳”.

So yeah, that’s my thought. Don’t believe me, watch it for yourself.

waking up in someone else's bed au. double drabble. rated m.

He doesn’t know how he got here.

Well.

He knows what got him here. Namely, tequila.

Tequila, and that guy at the bar, eyes bright-ocean-blue, hair glowing gold despite the dingier-than-hell club lighting.

The guy’s— Henry’s— hands on Alex’s waist, hard against his backside as they danced.

As they danced, and then as they did other things.

In a sticky bathroom stall. In the back of an Uber to Henry’s place. Up against the front door before it even fully closed.

Alex cracks an eye open as the memories come.

He glances around, clocking the things that aren’t his:

This pillow. These sheets and this bed. That window with the dawning light, drilling straight into his head.

But the man slowly waking beside him, lips so-pretty-pink from last night—

Can he? Be his?

Even after all this time, Alex still hardly believes it.

“Morning, love.” Henry smiles. “How are we feeling?”

“Hungover,” Alex admits. “And like we had a one-night-stand. Weird.”

Henry raises an eyebrow. “You don’t recall your meltdown about the raging-hot man at the bar despite being reminded that I’m your boyfriend?”

“You’re what?” asks Alex, delighted, and Henry, sighing, leans in to silence him with a kiss.

RWRB TEXT POSTS: PART 37