I Really Like Looking At Google Image Searches For “firemen Rescuing Cats” Or Something Because You

nothing sexier than a girl whos just a little out of it. asked the girl serving me at mcdonald’s 2day where the straws are and she said “straws? why would we have hay here” really sexy of her 

Do you know how hard I worked for us to have accidental eye contact

At school: Eh I'll just do this at home

At home: Eh I'll just do this at school

The greatest confidence is that of the henchman y’know. You ever notice in action movies and the hero will have taken down like 50 guys and more still keep coming? Can you imagine being that henchman? “I’m the storm trooper that’s gona land a shot”,” I’m gonna be the one to knock out Bruce Lee”, “I’m the soldier that’s gona kill Xena.” says the henchmen.Yall need henchman confidence.

salmon_run.mp4

Sebastian Stan’s continued effort to give Tom Holland a bad ass Hollywood reputation.

I always thought it was funny that your player character in Pokemon is 10 years old. Like, yeah, they’re “anime ten” where they look at least 18 yadda yadda, but they’re still ten.

Imagine the people in the Pokemon League. These are fully grown adults, right? They’ve trained their entire lives to be the best trainers in their country. They’re the best of the best. And then a ten year old walks in. A high and mighty four foot tall ten year old with a big smile on their face walks in. They’ve never even seen a tity. They don’t know where babies come from. They’re ten.

How did this ten year old get in to your arena? Did they wander in here by mistake? They say they’re here to battle you. Aww, how cute. This kid wants to fight the big league trainers, so they snuck in to fight you. That’s cute and funny. You’ll tell the others about this next lunch break. You decide to humor the kid and accept their challenge. You toss out your level 50 Tyranitar. You and this Pokemon have spent decades together, you trained for ages to get it to Level 50. You’re the best trainer in the country.

The kid reaches on their belt and tosses a Master Ball. Wait, what? A Master Ball? How did that kid get a Master Ball? Out of the master ball pops…

God.

God popped out of the Master Ball. 

The very same God Pokemon that controls the flow of space, that you go to church and pray to every Sunday. 

This ten year old kid just pulled out a Master Ball and threw God at you. God is, in fact, Level 73. 

God shoots Hyper Beam at your life-long partner Tyranitar, causing it to evaporate in to dust. He’s fainted in one hit. The kid yawns.

The kid wipes your entire party of Pokemon, the Pokemon you spent most of your adult life training and caring for. You are stunned. You ask the trainer how long they’ve been doing this. They say “I started a couple of days ago.”

This kid is ten. 

squirm