A Loanword Is A Word Taken From Another Language, Such As ‘angst’ Or ‘tsunami’ Or ‘calque’.

a cellar spider! they like dusty corners and awkwardly hustle themselves away when you touch their webs. their cobwebs are unusually strong and can hold even large insects like stinkbugs and paper wasps! when something threatens them they whirl their long bodies around and it makes their web tremble. they don't like being outside or traveling long distances, so all the cellar spiders in a building are usually descendants of one founder.

the internet also says that they are good at eating other spiders (which is a shame because i also like the other spiders) and that they tolerate each other and visit each other's webs. i guess that makes sense if they're all related. i once saw a mother and her children all sharing the same web, spaced a few inches apart like Finnish people waiting for the bus

I don't know what's happening or if it's a coincidence or what but three times today the spiders in my home have gotten closer to my personal space than they normally do. I like spiders but I think it's best for all of us if we stay out of each other's way, and I thought we were on the same page about this. Hopefully they resume their established habits tomorrow and we can all forget about this little escapade.

I'm not beating myself up for no reason, I have to acausally incentivize my past self not to have fucked up

The leaves on the wall that are different shades of green and feel leathery and slick and almost oily are the leaves of an ivy, probably Hedera helix.

The expansive bush with arching branches and tight hemispherical clusters of white flowers trailing one by one along each branch is bridal-wreath spirea, Spiraea prunifolia. I love how its leaves resemble fern fronds, or little paws.

it is always an amazing feeling to be out in the world and to remember that you can touch, pick up, and inspect anything for any reason or no reason. almost everything in the world i just look at without touching. but i can touch almost anything

horsethoughtbarn 5 name

if horses werent called horses what do you think they should be called

and there are eight billion of them!

girl who is animated, she is a flesh and marrow golem - a division of the world that runs according to the needs of a number of complex cohabitating forms of life, notably coming in the form of a number of sponges each with its own distinguishing properties and materials. The body, that is, that political organisation of sponges, reshapes itself as an organic sculpture. The sculpture looks something like a city that reaches into the sky, and there it is in conversation with a great light that drives it.

set of all sets that do contain themselves

Urza’s Strangle Submission by KrazyGuy75

Wei Wuxian's Name - The Meaning of Wuxian

C Fans think this is likely the poem behind his name. And after analysing this poem, I think this is also the inspiration behind his character. OMG MXTX YOU’RE A GENIUS 😍.

Before I start, please inform me if you want to use this meta. This analysis is solely mine in every shape and form. There is only 1 Chinese interpretation online and it’s done with Baidu’s MTL. And if I do allow you to use it, PLEASE link it back to me because there’s a very high chance that I will refine this. This is the only translation/meta that I’m particular about so please respect my wishes. 🙏

The term “Wuxian” comes from the Ming Dynasty poem “Living Alone 闲居” by the poet Xiu Ben 徐贲. Sadly, there isn’t much information about the context so I’ve tried to interpret this to the best that I can. There are so many aspects in mdzs/cql that are reflected in his poem.

谢事返丘壑，退耕理田园。

To retire to the hills, to return to farming and prepare the land.

谢事 - To retire and get rid of mundane things, or to die

丘壑 - Hills and ravines. A secluded place in the mountains. A metaphor for somewhere far away.

退耕 - To resign from government service and to return to farming OR to convert land that was used for farming back to other use.

兹心获遂初，稍得洒中悁。

His compassionate heart has attained his wish, and slowly loses itself to anxiety in wine.

兹心 - I think this is related to 慈悲心 which refers to the concept of Compassion in Mahayana Buddhisim. 慈 refers to giving others happiness.

遂初 - This means attained his wish. OR to leave a government post and return to seclusion

悁 - This refers to anger, anxiety and melancholy.

(T/N: 获 and 得 both means to gain, so the poet is emphasising what he has gained)

振策升崇巘，扬舲溯长川。

Whipping the horse (or urging) to ascend the lofty mountain, sailing against the river that never ends

振策 - This term also means to urge or to push someone forward

长川 - It either describes a river OR something that’s never ending.

(T/N: some websites use the word 巘 (mountain), but others use 褵 (a marriage veil). I don’t have enough info, so I’ve gone with the mountain translation.)

惊湍信汨汨，清溜自涓涓。

The water gurgles flows steadily and swiftly, the crystal clear water from the small stream trickled slowly naturally.

(T/N: 汨汨 and 涓涓 are both sounds of the water flowing. 汨汨 refers to gurgling, 涓涓 flows slowly)

新兰艳迟日，密竹曳丛烟。

The new orchid blooms in spring, the dense growth of bamboo gather as they sway like the mist.

迟日 - this could mean late, or spring

烟 - This likely refers to 烟云 (literally translated to mist and cloud), but it also refers to a hermit deep within a faraway mountain.

东馆朝燕坐，西林暮独还。

To meditate in the morning the temple in Chang an, to return from the temple alone at dusk

东馆 - This either refers to the Eastern Temple, or a temple nearby Chang an. The dictionary says it’s 豫中 ‘Yuzhong Temple’ (term was used specifically the Han Dynasty), but I can’t find which temple it is specifically. LOL

西林 - This term does refer to the Xilin temple on Mount Lu. But subsequently it was referred to temples in general. As this a more modern poetry (aka Ming Dynasty), I’ve opted to use ‘temple’ instead.

(T/N: there’s a dawn to dusk imagery in this line, from 朝 (morning) to 暮 (dusk))

朋旧固云旷，山水聊夤缘。

Old friends are resolute and vast as the clouds, and to sit beneath the mountain and rivers to chat about establishing connections.

云 - The imagery of ancient clouds in ancient poetry is uh, not exactly regarded as a good thing. It’s usually related to sadness, or something that’s fickle (ie. a cloud is fickle, it changes shape whenever it wants to, sometimes you see it, and sometimes you don’t.

夤缘 - this means to climb up, establish connections and building relationships)

(T/N: This whole line is interesting and filled with contradictions. 固 refers to something resolute, but 云旷 means vast as the clouds. Of which, clouds symbolise something that’s anything but resolute. And in the second part, 聊 usually refers to a causal chat or even gossip, but 夤缘 refers to using connections to climb higher.)

居喧暂云遣，习静久乃便。

the noise at where I'm at at has stopped for now, dissipating like the wind. And so, the quiet life has persisted for long time.

居 - there are various meanings to this. The most common meaning is to stay/current location so I’ve gone with that

便乃 - this means “hence” or “so”

已幸驻灵药，复能讽瑶编。

It’s already lucky that the magical drug has rooted itself here, and I can memorise the precious books repeatedly

驻 - This is a very interesting word because it’s usually used to mean to garrison or to come to a standstill. It isn’t usually

复 - Repeatedly

讽 - This word usually means to or to mock. But I think it’s used as 讽书 in this case, which is to memorise.

既无羡鱼志，外物非所迁。Even if there isn’t any wishful thinking, the things outside are inhospitable and ever changing

无 - This means no.

羡鱼 - Wishful thinking. This is where Wei Wuxian’s name comes from (MXTX uses 无羡 instead of 羡鱼). This term comes from the idiom “临渊羡鱼，不如退而结网” which literally means, “instead of standing by the water to dream about catching fish, you should go home to make a net to actually catch a fish.” (ie. instead of being envious about another person’s achievements, we should put in the effort) So yes, Wei Wuxian does mean “do not (无) think wishfully and covert over the achievement of others” (羡)

非所 - Inhospitable, where someone cannot live normally

迁 - this means ever changing.

MY ANALYSIS

SO I HAVE SO MUCH FEELS. I believe that MXTX based some parts of Wei Wuxian’s behaviour according to this poem. Allow me to do a line by line analysis.

1st line: “To retire to the hills, to return to farming and prepare the land” - is this why our boy has such a fascination with retiring from his “post” and returning to the simple life? It’s interesting that the terms in this poem repeatedly emphasises on ‘retiring from government.” You could say that wwx’s life, starting from the time that he was a Jiang Clan disciple, and to being a soldier was a form of a post. So the author sets up the stage of what he thinks to “retire” is. And the “hills and the mountains” suggest a secluded far away. IDK about you but it screamed Cloud Recesses to me.

2nd line: “His compassionate heart has attained his wish,” - AGAIN I could scream about this. I feel that Wei Wuxian does embody the concept of “慈悲” in the simple sense of the word. “慈” as in compassionate. He brings joy to people around him and cares for others around him. 悲 as in sadness; he feels the suffering around him and hence he tries to deliver people from it. This is obviously demonstrated when he tries to save the Wen Clan. This line also emphasises that retiring away from all things political is what he wants. And the second part “slowly loses itself to anxiety in wine”, sadly he does this ever so frequently in the novel and almost amplified in CQL.

Line 3 and 4: “Whipping the horse (a metaphor for quickly, almost urgently) to ascend the lofty mountain, sailing against the river that never ends” “The water gurgles flows steadily and swiftly, the crystal clear water from the small stream trickled slowly naturally.” - in Line 3, the first part “ascending the lofty mountain, almost urgently so” reminds me of how he attained his ghost cultivation so quickly over a span of 3 months. And “sailing against the river that never ends” sounds very much like how he was always moving against the criticism of the masses in his first and second life. The lines about the water gurgling and trickling feels that the tide was always against him, be it swiftly or in small trickles.”

Line 5: “The new orchid blooms in spring, the dense growth of bamboo gather as they sway in the mist.” - the imagery of the orchid sounds a shoutout to Jinling. And the dense bamboo dusting in the mist reminds me of the parts where they were in the cold pond. I’m not sure if the CQL directors were equally inspired by this. (I can’t remember if there were bamboos in Cloud Recesses novel wise. 😂😂)

Line 6: “To meditate in the morning the temple in Chang an, to return from the temple alone at dusk” - HMM I don’t have a clear inspiration for this line unfortunately. But it could be a reference to the days spend in Cloud Recesses. The Lan 蓝 was a Buddhism references so it totally fit the bill. (I’ve mentioned it before in Taming Wangxian but if you can’t remember it, well that’s okay, I am to bring it back here eventually)

Line 7: “Old friends are resolute and vast as the clouds, and to sit beneath the mountain and rivers to chat about establishing connections.” - again the comparison of friends with clouds. It does suggest that he has a lot of friends; friends who are as fickle as clouds who aren’t there when the time calls for it. And as for the ones who are “resolute”… well we know who they are. And as for “establishing connections”, this is a common theme in the novel. It actually reminded me of JGY, who was essentially trying to curry favour to promote himself politically.

Line 8-9: “the noise at where I am at has stopped for now, dissipating like the wind. And so, the quiet life has persisted for long time.” “It’s already lucky that the magical drug has rooted itself here, and I can memorise the precious books repeatedly” lmao does the magic drug refer to the incense burner haha 😂😂 the vibe of the last two lines remind me of the end of the novel, whereby the “noise” of society has faded and he’s back to the quiet life. And as for the books that he can read, I’m guessing that’s probably referring to the Lan Family’s library

Line 10: “Even if there isn’t any wishful thinking, the things outside are inhospitable and ever changing” this is WWX and the moral of the story I guess?

(There were about 60 different references and I'm too lazy to link them all lol. They were mostly dictionary links or other poems that used the words in a similar manner. If you want a reference for a particular phrase, please let me know. XD)

In case you missed it, I’ve also analysed Wei Ying previously.

Additional Meta

More MDZS Meta

Meaning of Wei Ying

listen up chucklefucks, i just gotta say. I'm not defending zir, but I'm sad zie deactivated. Like, i get that trauma lasts a long time and the good stuff is maybe easy to forget?? so maybe it's just like that. And my beloved mutual @/pompeyspuppygirl made a post about zir clout chasing behavior, which is pretty shitty behavior if it's true (and if we're canceling someone it had better be pretty severe). anyways now that zie's gone pompeyspuppygirl said it was okay to make this post (again, thanks ppg everyone go follow her --really everyone in this whole drama is worth a follow)

ANYways yeah zie was my mutual and like, reblogged a lot my smaller posts. (that isn't to discredit what my mutual pompeyspuppygirl is saying about zie clout chasing ofc). AND idk zie was always reblogging art from new and undiscovered artists and reblogging donation posts (which if you don't know is really bad if you're trying to clout chase...) (again, though, ppg is my mutual i believe her.) and like, remember on valentines day i tried to blaze zir posts and zie told me to stop because zie didn't want the posts to go viral? (but again ppg is my mutual and has a lot of proof in the Google doc I'm not trying to disprove that I'm just saying what else I know)

Idk, like i feel like a lot of people loved zir's blog a while back, bc like zie DID make some good posts?? So idk why everybody's acting like they aren't even a little bit sad.,. like ngl this feels like maybe all the reasonable people left to Twitter and all the Twitter refugees who love drama came here??? shdfhhdhdhdhdh haha but idk...look idk, i just, julie i do miss you. idk. more thoughts later sorry I'm getting worked up shshs

Ender's Game (novel)

Is Ender Wiggin (pictured above as the little brother from Malcolm in the Middle) guilty of xenocide?

Actually, let's first answer a different, but related, question:

What game does the title "Ender's Game" refer to?

It's not as simple a question as it seems. There are three games that have a prominent role in the plot, all very different from one another.

The obvious answer is the Battle School zero-gravity game, where teams of competitors play glorified laser tag in a big empty cube. In terms of page count, most of the book is dedicated to this game. It's also the game depicted on the cover of the edition above.

Yet this game vanishes during the story's climax, when Ender is given a new game to play, a game he is told is a simulator of spaceship warfare. This "game" turns out to not be a game at all, though; after annihilating the alien homeworld in the final stage, Ender learns that he was actually commanding real ships against real enemies the whole time, and that he just singlehandedly ended the Human-Bugger war forever via total xenocide of the aliens. This is both the final game and the most consequential to the plot, despite the short amount of time it appears.

There's also a third game, a single-player video game Ender plays throughout the story. The game is procedurally generated by an AI to respond to the player's emotional state, and is used as a psychiatric diagnostic for the players. Of the three games, this is the one that probes deepest into Ender's psyche, that most defines him as a person; it's also the final image of the story, as the aliens build a facsimile of its world in reality after psychically reading Ender's mind while he xenocides them.

Because all three games are important, the easiest answer might be that the question doesn't matter, that the story is called Ender's Game not to propose this question at all but simply because the technically more accurate "Ender's Games" would improperly suggest a story about a serial prankster.

Fine. But why does the title use the possessive "Ender's" at all?

He does not own any of these games. He did not create them. He does not facilitate them. All of these games, even the simulator game, predate his use of them as a player, were not designed with him in mind, were intended to train and assess potential commanders for, ostensibly, the hundred years since the last Human-Bugger war.

It's in this question that we get to the crux of what defines Gamer literature.

These games are Ender's games because he dominates them into being about him. He enters a rigidly-defined, rules-based system, and excels so completely that the games warp around his presence. In the Battle School game, the administrators stack the odds against Ender, thereby rendering every other player's presence in the game irrelevant except in their function as challenges for Ender to overcome. The administrators acknowledge this in an argument among themselves:

"The game will be compromised. The comparative standings will become meaningless." [...] "You're getting too close to the game, Anderson. You're forgetting that it is merely a training exercise." "It's also status, identity, purpose, name; all that makes these children who they are comes out of this game. When it becomes known that the game can be manipulated, weighted, cheated, it will undo this whole school. I'm not exaggerating." "I know." "So I hope Ender Wiggin truly is the one, because you'll have degraded the effectiveness of our training method for a long time to come."

In this argument, Anderson views the game the way games have been viewed since antiquity: exercises in acquiring honor and status. This honor is based on the innate fairness inherent to games as rule-based systems, which is why in ancient depictions of sport the chief character is often not a competitor but the host, who acts as referee. In Virgil's Aeneid, for instance, the hero Aeneas hosts a series of funeral games (the games themselves intended as an honor for his dead father). Despite being the principal character of the epic, Aeneas does not compete in these games. Instead, he doles out prizes to each competitor based on the worthiness they display; his fairness marks him symbolically as a wise ruler. The Arthurian tournament is another example, where Arthur as host is the principal character, and the knights (Lancelot, Tristan, etc.) who compete do so primarily to receive honors from him or his queen.

In Ender's Game, it is the antagonistic figure Bonzo Madrid who embodies this classical concept of honor; the word defines him, is repeated constantly ("his Spanish honor"), drives his blistering hatred of Ender, who receives both unfair boons and unfair banes from the game's administrators, who skirts the rules of what is allowed to secure victory. Bonzo is depicted as a stupid, bull-like figure; his honor is ultimately worthless, trivially manipulated by Ender in their final fight.

Meanwhile, it's Ender's disregard for honor, his focus solely on his namesake -- ending, finishing the game, the ends before the means -- that makes him so valuable within the scope of the story. He is "the one," as Anderson puts it, the solipsistically important Gamer, the Only I Play the Game-r, because the game now matters in and of itself, rather than as a social activity. In the Aeneid and in Arthur, the competitors are soldiers, for whom there is a world outside the game. Their games are not a substitute for war but a reprieve from it, and as such they are an activity meant to hold together the unifying fabric of society. The values Anderson espouses (status, identity, purpose, name) are fundamentally more important in this social framework than winning (ending) is.

Ender's game, as the Goosebumps-style blurb on my 20-year-old book fair edition's cover proclaims, is not just a game anymore. Its competitors are also soldiers, but the game is meant to prepare them for war; the spaceship video game is actual war. And as this is a war for the survival of the human race, as Ender is told, there is no need for honor. The othered enemy must be annihilated, without remorse or mercy.

This ethos of the game as fundamentally important for its own sake pervades Gamer literature beyond Ender's Game. In Sword Art Online (which I wrote an essay on here), dying in the game is dying in real life, and as such, only Kirito's ability to beat the game matters. Like Ender, Kirito is immediately disdained by his fellow players as a "cheater" (oh sorry, I mean a "beater") because he possesses inherent advantages due to being a beta player. In an actual game, a game that is only a game, Kirito's cheat powers would render the game pointless. What purpose does Kirito winning serve if he does it with Dual Wielding, an overpowered skill that only he is allowed to have? But when a game has real stakes, when only ability to win matters, it is possible to disregard fairness and see the cheater as heroic.

This notion of the "cheat power," a unique and overpowered ability only the protagonist has, is pervasive in post-SAO Gamer literature. To those for whom games are simply games, such powers can only be infuriating and obnoxious betrayals of the purpose of games; to those for whom games mean more than just games, for whom games have a primacy of importance, these powers are all that matter.

That's the core conceit of Gamer literature: the idea that the Game is life, that winning is, in fact, everything.

What sets Ender's Game apart from Sword Art Online is that it creates the inverted world where the Game matters above all, but then draws back the curtain to reveal the inversion. The Buggers are, in fact, no longer hostile. They are not planning to invade Earth again, as Ender has been told his entire life. The war, for them, is entirely defensive, and Ender is the aggressor. And due to Ender's singleminded focus on Ending, on winning, on disregarding honor and fairness, he ultimately commits the xenocide, erases an entire sentient species from existence. He wins a game he should never have been playing.

The obvious counterargument, the one I imagine everyone who has read this book thought up the moment I posed the question at the beginning of this essay, is that Ender did not know he was committing xenocide. The fact that the combat simulator game was not a game was withheld from him until afterward. Plus, he was a child.

Salient arguments all. Ones the book itself makes, via Ender's commander, Graff, to absolve him of sin at the end. They're probably even correct, in a legal sense (I'm not a legal scholar, don't quote me), and in a moral sense. In real life, it would be difficult to blame a 10-year-old in those circumstances for what he did. But in the thematic framework of Ender's Game the book, these arguments are completely inadequate.

Ender has been playing a fourth game the entire story. And this is the only game he doesn't win.

A game is defined by its system of control and limitation over the behavior of the players. A game has rules. His whole life, Ender has been playing within the rules of the system of control his military commanders place upon him.

Their control extends even before he was born; as a third child in a draconian two-child-only world, his existence is at the behest of the government. Graff confirms this to Ender's parents when he recruits him to Battle School: "Of course we already have your consent, granted in writing at the time conception was confirmed, or he could not have been born. He has been ours since then, if he qualified." Graff frames this control utterly, in terms of possession: "he has been ours." He does not exaggerate. Since Ender was young, he has had a "monitor" implanted in his body so the army could observe him at all times, assess whether he "qualifies"; even the brief moment the monitor is removed is a test. "The final step in your testing was to see what would happen when the monitor came off," Graff explains after Ender passes the test by murdering a 6-year-old. Conditions are set up for Ender, similar to the unfair challenges established in the Battle School game; he is isolated from his peers, denied practice sessions, held in solitary confinement on a remote planetoid. It's all in service of assessing Ender as "the one."

Ender wins this game in the sense that he does, ultimately, become "the one" -- the one Graff and the other military men want, the xenocider of the Buggers. He fails this game in the sense that he does not break it.

The other three games Ender plays, he breaks. Usually by cheating. In the single-player psychiatry game, when presented with a deliberately impossible challenge where a giant gives him two glasses to pick between, Ender cheats and kills the giant. "Cheater, cheater!" the dying giant shouts. In the Battle School game, Ender is ultimately confronted by insurmountable odds: 2 armies against his 1. He cannot outgun his opponent, so he cheats by using most of his troops as a distraction so five soldiers can sneak through the enemy's gate, ending the game. At the school, going through the gate is traditionally seen as a mere formality, something done ceremonially once the enemy team is wiped out (there's that honor again, that ceremony), but it technically causes a win. Even Anderson, the game's administrator, sees this as a breach of the rules when Ender confronts him afterward.

Ender was smiling. "I beat you again, sir," he said. "Nonsense, Ender," Anderson said softly. "Your battle was with Griffin and Tiger." "How stupid do you think I am?" Ender said. Loudly, Anderson said, "After that little maneuver, the rules are being revised to require that all of the enemy's soldiers must be frozen or disabled before the gate can be reversed."

(I include the first part of that quote to indicate that Ender all along knows who he is really playing this game against -- the administrators, the military men who control every facet of his life.)

Ender beats the war simulator game in a similar fashion. Outnumbered this time 1000-to-1, he uses his soldiers as sacrifices to sneak a single bomb onto the alien's homeworld, destroying it and committing his xenocide. Ender himself sees this maneuver as breaking the rules, and in fact falsely believes that if he breaks the rules he will be disqualified, set free from the fourth game: "If I break this rule, they'll never let me be a commander. It would be too dangerous. I'll never have to play a game again. And that is victory." The flaw in his logic comes not from whether he's breaking the rules of the game, but which game he is breaking the rules of. It's not the fourth game, Ender's game, but the war simulator game, simply a sub-game within the confines of the fourth game, a sub-game the fourth game's administrators want him to break, a sub-game that gives Ender the illusion of control by breaking. When Ender tells his administrators about his plan, the response he receives almost taunts him to do it:

"Does the Little Doctor work against a planet?" Mazer's face went rigid. "Ender, the buggers never deliberately attacked a civilian population in either invasion. You decide whether it would be wise to adopt a strategy that would invite reprisals."

(And if it wasn't clear how much the administrators wanted him to do this all along, the moment he does it, they flood the room with cheers.)

Ender wins his games by cheating -- by fighting the rules of the game itself -- and yet he never cheats at the fourth game, the game of his life.

In this fourth game, he always plays by the rules.

In the inverted world of Gamer lit, where games define everything, including life and death, it's a common, even natural progression for the Gamer to finally confront the game's administrator. Sword Art Online ends when Kirito defeats Akihiko Kayaba, the developer. In doing so, Kirito exceeds the confines of the game, not simply by ignoring its rules and coming back to life after he's killed, but by demonstrating mastery against the game's God. Afterward, Sword Art Online truly becomes Kirito's Game, with nobody else able to lay claim to the possessive. Kirito demonstrates this control at the end of the anime by recreating Sword Art Online's world using its source code, completing the transition into a player-administrator.

(Though I wonder, how much of a class reading could one give to this new brand of Gamer lit? If classical games were told from the perspective of the one who controlled them, then is there not something innately anti-establishment in Kirito overcoming the controller? This is the gist of many other death game stories, like The Hunger Games, though none of them may be the most sophisticated takes on the subject, more empty fantasy than anything else.)

Ender never fights or defeats his administrators. He never even tries, other than rare periods of depressive inactivity. He doesn't try even though the option is proposed to him by Dink Meeker, an older student whom Ender respects:

"I'm not going to let the bastards run me, Ender. They've got you pegged, too, and they don't plan to treat you kindly. Look what they've done to you so far." "They haven't done anything except promote me." "And she make you life so easy, neh?" Ender laughed and shook his head. "So maybe you're right." "They think they got you on ice. Don't let them." "But that's what I came for," Ender said. "For them to make me into a tool."

Instead, Ender finds comfort in the control exerted on his life. When sent to Earth on leave, he seeks out a lake that reminds him of living in Battle School.

"I spend a lot of time on the water. When I'm swimming, it's like being weightless. I miss being weightless. Also, when I'm here on the lake, the land slopes up in every direction." "Like living in a bowl." "I've lived in a bowl for four years."

Because of this, Ender never cheats against Graff. He could; Graff states several times that Ender is smarter than him, and the fact that they have Ender fighting the war instead of Graff is proof he believes it. But Ender never considers it. He never considers gaming the system of his life.

If Gamer literature emphasizes the inversion of the world order, where games supersede reality in importance (and, as in Sword Art Online, only through this inverted order is one able to claim real power by being a Gamer), then Ender's Game acknowledges both sides of the inversion. For Ender, the games he plays are not simply games anymore. The psychology game, the Battle School game, the war simulator game; all of these he must win at all costs, even if it requires disrespecting the foundational purpose of these games. But his real life? Ender wants that to be a game, craves it to be a game, can't live unless the walls slope up around him like a bowl, can't stand it unless there is a system of control around him. He does what Graff tells him, even though he recognizes immediately that Graff is not his friend, that Graff is the one isolating him from others, rigging things against him. He does what Graff tells him all the way up to and including xenocide, because Ender cannot tell game from real life. That's the core deception at the end: Ender is playing a game that's actually real and he doesn't know it -- or refuses to acknowledge it, since nobody has ever tricked the genius Ender before this point.

Actually, that's not true. They tricked him twice before. Ender twice attacks his peers physically, with brutal violence. The administrators conceal from him that he murdered both his foes; he simply thinks he hurt them. The only way to trick Ender is to do so in a way that insulates him from the consequences of his actions. The only way he will allow himself to be tricked.

So, is Ender guilty of xenocide?

Under it all, Ender believes he is.

The dying Buggers, after reading Ender's mind, recreate the psychology game in the real world. The story ends when Ender finds this recreation, yet another blurring of the lines between game and reality.

The psychology game is different from the other games Ender plays, because nobody expects him to win it. Its purpose is not to be won, simply to assess his mental health. Yet Ender approaches it like the other games, cheats at it and systematically kills all his enemies until he reaches a place called The End of the World. (Another End for Ender.) His drive to win, to dominate, does not come solely from the pressures of the system around him, but from deep within himself, which is what Ender fears the most. But it is here, at The End of the World, where Ender finds atonement, both in the game and in the game-made-real. In the game, he kisses his opponent instead of killing them, and reaches a resolution he is happy with. He stops playing the game after doing this, though the game seems to continue (when an administrator asks him why he stopped playing it, he says "I beat it"; the administrator tells him the game cannot be beaten). It is through this act of love that Ender can escape the game-like system of control that puppeteers him no matter how smart and clever he is or thinks he is.

In the game-made-real, Ender finds his atonement in the same place, The End of the World. The Buggers left for him here, in this place that they (reading his mind) understood as the location of his mercy and compassion, an egg that can repopulate their species. Through this egg, Ender is given the chance to undo his xenocide. But that chance is also contingent on what The End of the World means to Ender, an end to the game, not simply the games he plays but the fourth game, the game of his life. Ender's Game.

being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.