Demon Twins

Family tradition 🥰🥰🥰

Inspired by:

Danny is not enjoying the homeless runaway lifestyle.

He would be the first to admit he was a bit of a cleanfreak, it was a side effect of growing up with mad scientist parents who would often place bottles of dangerous chemicals among bottles of fruit juice thier children had in the fridge. He grown into the habit of sorting through things as a means of survival.

Its not that he hated clutter, its that he hated mess and disorganization and feeling dirty. All of which he was feeling now.

So when Danny saw Brucie Wayne from the TV shop window of the dirty Gotham street he was on, he froze. This tall, dark haired blue eyed man was a jolly idiot. He was just like his dad. He had never seen anyone act like his dad before and he missed him so so much. And what do you know.. this guy collect black haired blue eyed kids like pokemon cards. And well...Danny was a child who had recently lost everything. His family, his friends, his home and desperately seeking out anything familiar.

So Danny starts following Bruce around trying to clean up after him and take care of him like he did with Jack Fenton in hopes of showing Bruce how useful he can be, but the amount of help Bruce needed was surprisingly low and what little he needed was swiftly taken care of by the butler and children he already had before Danny could even react.

Danny needed a new plan...

Prompt 199

“Where the fuck are my legs?” 

Danny wasn’t happy. It wasn’t funny! Usually he just had a ghost tail when flying really fast, like super speed, not all the time! It’s not funny Clockwork, you’re used to having a tail, he isn’t! 

What do you mean it’s permanent?! He needs his legs! Clockwork!! He wouldn’t have agreed to the adoption if he knew he’d lose his legs! 

…Okay, that was a lie, Clockwork was a great parent who encouraged his chaos and enjoyed screwing over assholes like the Observants. But still! He looks like some sort of snake person now! No he doesn’t want a nap, he’s not a baby! 

Clockwork, why are you being quiet? He’s not a baby! He’s not a baby, right? What do you mean all ghosts are babies until they’re a hundred years dead!? But he’s a halfa- what do you mean it takes longer for Ancients?! 

No he doesn’t want that nap, he’s having a midlife crisis here several years too early! 

:T Hello there, Thought(tm) of the day...

I? Just remembered that Constantine's "Laughing Magician"(?) title is... f*ckin HEREDITARY?

Like?? As in The Constantine Meances have been out here, harrasing divinity and demons alike for GENERATIONS on behalf of a Good Time, the Lols, and probably Humanity if they can be arsed and you make a good case.

W... What chance would there even BE of at least like? HALF those f*ckers(conflicted but affectionate) NOT becoming Realms Ghosts? With the sh*t they're exposed too? With THEIR luck??

You think DEATH can trick them? Take them away for good? Take away the local Rat B@stard, Tricks Gods Just To See If He Can, Fate Is My Second Mistress and I Cuckold Glory On Your Mother's Bed, Constantine?

They run down main street, *ss in the breeze, wearing someone else's shirt and two shoes that don't match, not a stitch else, like run away lovers. Let Death TRY and catch them. Sorry, Luv, it's not them, it's definitely you.

..........I bet they're the wooooorst~~✨️

No joke, I bet they set up a whole *ss TOWN of Constantine.

Where the odds are in THEIR favor, gods fear to tread, and reality straight out stops working right. Like Diagonal Ally for B*stards, extended to a whole floating island. Everyone's related. It's Chaos. They can barely stand each other. Would sell each other for a toothpick.

Mess with ANY off them... and you can kiss your afterlife good bye.

They have NO neighbors because both no ones dumb enough to get NEAR them AND no one can stand to be around that many Constantines at once. The physical Manifestation of Fate wants to take the whole LOT of the handsy F*CKS to court for child support and a restraining order.

Somehow... they keep getting Earth Booze.

They SHOULDN'T have access. It's been anywhere from decade to centuries since they died. Millennium for a few. Howms't The F*CK, do they keep getting cheap gin and vodka? Bourbon and beer? Even the odd fruity cocktail for funnies.

Please... PLEASE! Tell the Zone at large, that their innate birthright powers STOPPED at Death. They... they are just REALLY good at smuggling right? Excellent con men?

Tell us they can't f*ckin PREDICT AND INFLUENCE Natural Portals!!!

*smug sipping noises from a large room full of Dead @ssholes*

Okay... They Won't Tell You~ 🍺🍺🍺🍺🍺 *siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip*

Now! I hear you ask? Why are John's Terrible, Terrible, God Awful Ghostly Relatives relevant? Absurdly powerful as they are... they seem to take the afterlife as an extended "Ha! GET F*CKED, DEMONS WHO WANTED MY SOUL!" Vacation/Family get together.

Minded their business and expected everyone to mind THEIRS, or ELSE.

Didn't give two solitary SH*TS that Pariah woke from his little nappy-poo to cause a tantrum. After all, in their family? When DOESN'T some "great and terrible Power That Be" get itself in a snit? Meh... it's baby Johnny's turn to clean sh*t up. Best of luck to 'im~I'm!

But THEN!

They must've been drinking... making out with their equally terrible and bamf trainwreck significant others... sitting around playing "who can cheat best at cards"... when? Huh.

Never seen the Fate and The Odds... STRANGLE like that.

Billions of billions of What-Ifs, Maybes, Could-bes, and more... suddenly YANKED towards a single spot. The allowance of Only One Outcome. Almost like what they can do, but... not, WRONG, per say...

Just... impossible.

There's NEVER.. JUST one way this plays out. You can control the big notes. The script. But the details and set dressing will always decide themselves.

NO ONE can just... Decide What Will Happen. And yet?

...............was....... was that Little Johnny? Has to be. Right? Where's his old man? Oi! Was that your Kid??! John's closest relatives are baffled. Nope. They can still feel him laying a beat down on some demon in Norway. So then? Who?

How?

Well mark them CURIOUS(tm).

They decide to actually get up. Put their various drinks and cards down. Put pants on. Somebody's done something... INTERESTING(TM) and they want to know what's up. So? Off they trot.

It's traumatizing from everyone who sees them. The Constantines have breached f*ckin B*stard Containment and are spilling into the Zone. On this! The DAY Pariah Waged A War! THEY JUST GOT RID OF HIM!

And Danny? His everything hurts. The Eyeballs are starting to come out of the woodwork and ARGUE about him like he's not even there. He's DANGEROUS blah blah blah. Give them the crown. Right now! Etc etc.

Somethings telling him not too.

It's... it's HIS isn't it? Has been for centuries and seconds. And... and... everyone one of him is King. There is only one of him. The Zone covers all the multiverse and all of the Hims that were and aren't here and helped and... and...! His head is starting to hurt.

But the more they try to push him to hand it over, the less he feels like unhanding the dang gaudy thing. No. His now. He'll use it as a DOOR stopper if he dang well feels like it! Stop yelling.

Then all these blonde ghosts saunter in... and all he can think is "F*ck. I think they noticed."

Huh?

@stealingyourbones @cyrwrites @bjurnberg @the-witchhunter @hdgnj

“who’s the top??” “who’s the bottom?” “blank is such a bottom-“ “so and so is taller so they’re the top-“ listen guys. it’s whichever one has a harder time being vulnerable. that’s the bottom

Fic Rec Masterlists

All my fic recs organized by AU / trope / ask ! Updated as needed .

Near-Death Experience Trope

Fics w/ Humor

Post-Canon

Niche Canonverse

Fantasy AU

Selena Kyle somehow gets dragged in and decides to Teach Danny the art of being a sugar baby and fight flirting, much to Bruce’s horror.

Now Danny shows up in a black and white leather cat suit to terrorize Tim on patrol. 

He hands Tim a leash and says that they might as well go fully into it and runs of to rob a museum with illegally obtained ancient artifacts, with Cat Woman as four play.

Let that love chaos begin!

Alright fine here is my obligatory won't-let-me-sleep dc dp idea

Enter left: Immortal Ghost King Danny who's made peace with having to stay in the Zone fulltime to keep the place from going to metaphorical hell, but that doesn't mean he can't visit Amity every now and then for some basic human pleasures like coffee, soda and a burger

Thing is, with no basic income and unwilling to mooch off his friends' and parents' money for the rest of their life, he comes up with the brilliant idea of a gofundme which circulates on tumblr every few months and literally just says "buy a coffee and burger for your local king of the dead, any help is appreciated :)"

Enter right: One Tim Drake whose fatal flaw is not something as simple as posting rants or online-shopping when sleep deprived, oh no, no Tim instead clicks on any crowdfunding posts he comes across and throws money at them from his anonymous bank account, then forgets all about it after a full night's sleep

This guy has slept 7 hours in 2 weeks and just busted the unholy drug ring child of the Maroni's and Black Mask, he is ready to die in his sleep and scrolling tumblr instead. He sees a signal boost post with 1 note and the keywords 'dead' and 'any help', promptly dumps a random sum on it and drops off

He is woken from his sleep by a guy literally squeezing himself out of his phone screen like a cat through a mouse hole except so much worse, yelling at him about selling his kidney through a PHONE not even a COMPUTER screen, and asks him if he is Tim Jackson Drake

Tim, still waking up, replies yes, because yes he is Tim Drake and not someone else like a vigilante haha no, and then in the next hour becomes coherent enough to understand that this guy is the actual King of the Dead, doesn't know his secret identity and literally ghosted several firewalls and offshore accounts, bypassed all that and travelled digitally through to him because he left him 50 grand on his gofundme for a burger and that is just not okay please ask for a refund i'll find you a new kidney pLEASE

Tim refuses.

Hell if he knows why but he's not taking the money back, he has enough anyway so Phantom can keep it and buy himself a life supply of Coca Cola or something

Phantom refuses.

Because what even this is non-negotiable

So they're at a stalemate and have argued through Tim's morning routine, through breakfast for two and the drive to work which Phantom spends invisible while in public, and halway up the WE elevator before Danny falls silent and after Tim closes his office door says:

"You're rich."

"Yes I am."

"You're like, stinking rich. Billionaire rich?"

"Pretty much."

"..."

"Will you keep the money now?"

"...Nope, now I'm even less inclined to."

But the King of the Dead stops harassing Tim to make him poor again and leaves, and Tim has a whole day of peace before he gets home, where he is immediately slobbered up by a two-headed dog the size of his Ducati.

"If you're giving me all that money for free then have this hellhound, rich people need bodyguard dogs right"

"I refuse, also why does it have two heads"

"My rottweiler met a Cerberus and the rest is history, also come ON I can't just accept this much money pLEASE tell me your PRICE"

"50 grand"

"oh ha ha"

Somehow they agree for Tim to accept a blob ghost that will be invisible most of the time, completely invisible on any surveillance, and will only serve as an emotional support cheek-rub and an emergency call if Tim's ever in trouble, Tim is reassured he'll go get Phantom personally if that ever happens, and only on Tim's orders which will never happen

Except one time he really does need help because he and all his support structure is captured or incapacitated, so he asks Phoenix for help and promptly finds out why she insisted on that name when she explodes in a spray of green all over his face and now everyone and especially Jason is staring at the green goo

And then the ground cracks open to a lime green pithole, the lights go out and the place turns cold, and out of the hellhole rises Phantom wreathed in flame and shadows, rising his finger at the enemy and intoning softly

"Where is he?"

"W-who?

"Where's my sugar daddy?"

KLANCE FIC RECS FOR THE NEW YEARS RECAP PART TWO

Ghost of the Future & Shadow of the Past by wittyy_name/@wittyy-name, Zizzani/@zizzani | 300k+ | Time-travel | Dual fic

These fics were genuinely so. What the fuck. Oh my god. I came into it not expecting too much and I came out of it like ahjhsihfs. I’m so so upset that it isn’t finished, that too right before the last chapter. There are so, so many good aspects to this fic. First off: the plot and its delivery. The idea of switching places with a past version of yourself is not an uncommon plotline. However, having the story be split into two stories following both the past and the present with each chapter parallelling each other was flawlessly executed. I would read one chapter where they would do xyz which affected the past, and then be so excited to see what happens next, and then be even more excited that I could simply read how it happened in the past. It felt like I was time itself, reading through parts of these characters' lives non-linearly. The KL chemistry is beautiful, the plot is beautiful, I sincerely love it.

it’s five o’clock somewhere by soulreapin/@soulreapin | 8.1k | Bartending AU | First Date

This fic was so so soft and funny. There were parts of the fic where I was so floored by the comedic writing that I was like damn why didn't I write this? Also, their first date is just so cute!

Run into the Bright Lights by peanutbutterapple/ https://hugoweasley.tumblr.com/ | 36.8k | April Fools Day | Canon Compliant

I've never seen an april fools day fic before and omg I wish there were more. The miscommunication between KL is so genuine and not a product of stupid actions. There's beautiful hurt/comfort. I've reread this two billion times.

AITA by perfchan/@jacqulinetan | 34k | Post-War

This fic is so so funny and just. It sums up the whole let down of returning back to civilian life after war very well and the way Lance shuts people out. So so good.

to breathe in this mirage by existwound/@existwound | 34k+ | Time-travel | Domestic KL

This fic is so good!?!? Astra writes KL fighting so well and it leads up to beautiful ANGST which leads to beautiful hurt/comfort. This fic is not finished but I love it so so so much.

Spider-Man Klance AU by iwriteshipsnotsailthem | 102.6k | Spider-man!Keith

This author captures the essence of spiderman in a fic so much. Many other spider-man aus will focus more on ships than the spiderman aspect, but this author balances it so well. There's a perfect blend of action and romance.

finally, you're mine by nezueye/@nezueye | 7.2k | Friends to Lovers | Modern AU

This has to be hands down one of the best fluff fics ever. Every scene with KL, which was all of them, was so satisfying and cute. I loved it so much I reread this all the time.

Even the People in Your Dreams Will Lie to You by popering/@roylustang | 314k+ | torture | angst

This fic is INSANE!!! Literally!! There's so much thought and detail that goes into the worldbuilding of the fic despite the world literally being canon VLD! This is a fic where every detail counts, and where you yourself might doubt your hindsight and knowledge too. I feel so bad for everyone in this story, and I eagerly await the last chapter (author take ur time w it tho plz)

my my, how can i resist you? by nikkiRA | 1.7k | Est Relationship | Watching Mamma Mia

This is a follow up to a fic where KL get together, but this snippet just has my heart. It's so beautiful to see the way Keith loves Lance.

what makes you beautiful by seventies | 4.5k | MMA!Keith x Nurse!Lance

The funniest fi in the world. I wish I knew the author IRL so I could laugh at their jokes everyday. They're so funny. This fic is so so funny.

I love you more than fried chicken by AsterikaMay/@catsushinyakajima | 9.1k words | Asexual!Lance

This is one of my fics...I included it cuz I'm ace and I LOVE ace fics LMAO

part one here

HD Hogwarts founders fic recs

Here are a few Harry/Draco recs revolving around the Hogwarts founders. Listed in alphabetical order, as always.

Annus Mirabilis by Ren [39k]

Harry and Malfoy are trapped at Hogwarts around the time the school was founded. Stuck with a different way of doing magic, with no chocolate, and with each other, they have to find a way to work together if they want a chance to go home.

In Plain Sight by oldenuf2nb / @dianacopland [37k]

Draco Malfoy had stopped believing his wishes would be granted long ago. He could perhaps be forgiven for being startled, then, when one of them came true.

Manticoria by @lol-zeitgeistic [70k]

In the dangerous days after Voldemort’s fall, Harry struggles to find a way to be with Draco—again. But as the magical world threatens to die all around them, it might be more difficult than he thought. Includes dying wards, dying beasts, and love struggling to live; sentient magic, wandlore, Founder lore, potion lore, and ward lore; and of course there is Zacharias Smith to ruin everything, as usual.

Turn From Stone by @harryromper [45k]

Something happened in the hours after the final battle, after the evacuation of the living and the dead. As the last of the survivors left the castle, and as the castle itself turned its wounded back on them all. The loss of Hogwarts has been felt by their entire community. And it’s something that needs to be put right.   Harry knows there’s nothing he can do to stop Hermione (war hero, historian, author of the reissued “Hogwarts: A History”) once she sets her mind to something. Even an extremely risky last-ditch effort to restore the ancient castle and lay its newest ghosts to rest. What he wasn’t counting on was her insistence that Draco Malfoy be part of the plan.

Until Dawn’s First Light by valinorean [50k]

Harry and Draco find a mysterious portrait in Hogwarts that tells them about different stories of people in the past. But suddenly, strange things begin to happen as each story unfolds.

Wish Upon a Star (As Dreamers Do) by @icmezzo​   [27k]

There’s plant magic and celestial magic and dark magic and the normal magic that allows Harry to use a spell to clean his socks when Myrtle’s taken up in his laundry room again. Then there are wishes, and dreams, and love, and those are even more magical still.

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!