Smash Or Pass? By Nddshkwch On AO3

lazzy-black-cat - Lazzy_Black_Cat

lazzy-black-cat - Lazzy_Black_Cat

lazzy-black-cat - Lazzy_Black_Cat

Smash or Pass? by nddshkwch on AO3

PLS GO READ IT IT'S SO FREAKING FUNNY I SQUEALED AND LAUGHED OUT LOUD SO MUCH JUST THE SUMMARY HAD ME GIGGLING LIKE A MAD LAD Y'ALL CHECK IT OUUUUTTTTT

More Posts from Lazzy-black-cat and Others

4 months ago

Doodle of an idea I had where Danny’s iris and pupil are shattered (in his ghost form most noticeably) on the side of his face where the electricity of the ghost portal initially struck the hand that flipped the switch and travelled up his arm. Thoughts? Also, white or black eyelashes?

Doodle Of An Idea I Had Where Danny’s Iris And Pupil Are Shattered (in His Ghost Form Most Noticeably)
1 year ago

Halfa Jason Design

Specifically in thoughts to This but honestly might use it for other things too

Halfa Jason Design
1 year ago
(re-upload) The Boy Wonder!!

(re-upload) the boy wonder!!

(+bonus)

(re-upload) The Boy Wonder!!

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1 year ago

Another de-aged Danny au, but he's with Dan & Ellie & Jazz as well.

Jason has like just arrived back to Gotham, caused chaos in the underbelly due to well, 8 heads in a duffle bag, and is just starting his takeover of Crime Alley. It's going good, great even! And then he busts some sort of gang or smuggling ring run by people in white suits and there's... holy shit why do these four toddlers have Lazarus eyes?!

Is that a lab?! And Lazarus waters?! Jason might be a bit mad but he's not an asshole, he's not going to just leave these kids here to the streets. He can't just take them to the Batclan either, and as much as he begrudgingly trusts Talia, he sure as fuck doesn't trust Ras. Who knows what he'd do to four... what are they, pit-kids?

Now he's juggling his whole revenge-thing, running a criminal empire, taking over Gotham's underbelly, and being a single dad. At least the goonion seems to be down for helping, seeing as he's making Crime Alley safer...? .... Fuck he needs some proper sleep

1 year ago

Dp x Dc prompt #1

Danny doesn’t know how Vlad managed to convince his parents to let him take Danny with him to some fancy gala in Gotham, but he does know he’s gonna be the biggest menace he can be to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

The moment they entered the place the gala was held, Danny’s eyes landed on the chandelier on the ceiling in de middle of the room.

Bingo.

What Danny had been expecting was something along the lines of him embarrassing Vlad, making Vlad angry, and/or getting kicked out when the chandelier inevitably crashed to the ground cause they weren’t made to hold his weight.

What Danny hadn’t been expecting was for the chandelier to be heavily reinforced and not move an inch when he hung on there upside down, nor had he expected to be joined up there by a guy his age that seemed to be bursting with excitement as he stared at Danny from his place upside down on the chandelier.


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1 year ago

Selena Kyle somehow gets dragged in and decides to Teach Danny the art of being a sugar baby and fight flirting, much to Bruce’s horror.

Now Danny shows up in a black and white leather cat suit to terrorize Tim on patrol. 

He hands Tim a leash and says that they might as well go fully into it and runs of to rob a museum with illegally obtained ancient artifacts, with Cat Woman as four play.

Let that love chaos begin!

Alright fine here is my obligatory won't-let-me-sleep dc dp idea

Enter left: Immortal Ghost King Danny who's made peace with having to stay in the Zone fulltime to keep the place from going to metaphorical hell, but that doesn't mean he can't visit Amity every now and then for some basic human pleasures like coffee, soda and a burger

Thing is, with no basic income and unwilling to mooch off his friends' and parents' money for the rest of their life, he comes up with the brilliant idea of a gofundme which circulates on tumblr every few months and literally just says "buy a coffee and burger for your local king of the dead, any help is appreciated :)"

Enter right: One Tim Drake whose fatal flaw is not something as simple as posting rants or online-shopping when sleep deprived, oh no, no Tim instead clicks on any crowdfunding posts he comes across and throws money at them from his anonymous bank account, then forgets all about it after a full night's sleep

This guy has slept 7 hours in 2 weeks and just busted the unholy drug ring child of the Maroni's and Black Mask, he is ready to die in his sleep and scrolling tumblr instead. He sees a signal boost post with 1 note and the keywords 'dead' and 'any help', promptly dumps a random sum on it and drops off

He is woken from his sleep by a guy literally squeezing himself out of his phone screen like a cat through a mouse hole except so much worse, yelling at him about selling his kidney through a PHONE not even a COMPUTER screen, and asks him if he is Tim Jackson Drake

Tim, still waking up, replies yes, because yes he is Tim Drake and not someone else like a vigilante haha no, and then in the next hour becomes coherent enough to understand that this guy is the actual King of the Dead, doesn't know his secret identity and literally ghosted several firewalls and offshore accounts, bypassed all that and travelled digitally through to him because he left him 50 grand on his gofundme for a burger and that is just not okay please ask for a refund i'll find you a new kidney pLEASE

Tim refuses.

Hell if he knows why but he's not taking the money back, he has enough anyway so Phantom can keep it and buy himself a life supply of Coca Cola or something

Phantom refuses.

Because what even this is non-negotiable

So they're at a stalemate and have argued through Tim's morning routine, through breakfast for two and the drive to work which Phantom spends invisible while in public, and halway up the WE elevator before Danny falls silent and after Tim closes his office door says:

"You're rich."

"Yes I am."

"You're like, stinking rich. Billionaire rich?"

"Pretty much."

"..."

"Will you keep the money now?"

"...Nope, now I'm even less inclined to."

But the King of the Dead stops harassing Tim to make him poor again and leaves, and Tim has a whole day of peace before he gets home, where he is immediately slobbered up by a two-headed dog the size of his Ducati.

"If you're giving me all that money for free then have this hellhound, rich people need bodyguard dogs right"

"I refuse, also why does it have two heads"

"My rottweiler met a Cerberus and the rest is history, also come ON I can't just accept this much money pLEASE tell me your PRICE"

"50 grand"

"oh ha ha"

Somehow they agree for Tim to accept a blob ghost that will be invisible most of the time, completely invisible on any surveillance, and will only serve as an emotional support cheek-rub and an emergency call if Tim's ever in trouble, Tim is reassured he'll go get Phantom personally if that ever happens, and only on Tim's orders which will never happen

Except one time he really does need help because he and all his support structure is captured or incapacitated, so he asks Phoenix for help and promptly finds out why she insisted on that name when she explodes in a spray of green all over his face and now everyone and especially Jason is staring at the green goo

And then the ground cracks open to a lime green pithole, the lights go out and the place turns cold, and out of the hellhole rises Phantom wreathed in flame and shadows, rising his finger at the enemy and intoning softly

"Where is he?"

"W-who?

"Where's my sugar daddy?"


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11 months ago

DPXDC prompt: Dead on main. No trick only treat.

~~Сhildhood friends and deals~~

The Justice League has to summon a ghost from another dimension to address the threat. They don’t know what price the Ghost King will take but there’s little time to bargain. Another spirit threatening them has already seized all the computers on their base. John doesn’t know what else to offer. A summoned ghost starts to look bored. Gold, jewelry? A favor from a member of the League? Like the Ruler of All Dead needs it. No one dares to make another offer, and the King is in no hurry to set out his demands. Maybe try to pull off a soul sale scam?

Suddenly, Red Hood breaks into the hall, walks up to Phantom and shakes his shoulder vigorously. Red Hood: You, get Technus out of here right now. I need access to the files and fast. Phantom: That’s rude, dude. Where did you grow up? in the cave? No "hello, no how are you, Danny", really? Red Hood: I’ll pay the usual price. Phantom: Deal.

What is the price? John sees Batman and gets in his way. The usual price, his guy said. Means Jay was already out of the deal alive and well. This hyperprotective bat would only piss off the ruler if he interfered.

The King quickly deals with his subordinate using a thermos and remains to watch working Hood. Red Hood: What do you want? I’m busy. Danny: You and I have a contract~ Red Hood: All right, all right. Jay throws M&Ms right in the face of the ghost. But king doesn’t look angry. He opens the package and starts sorting the candies by color. Phantom quickly eats up all the green ones and passes the red ones to Hood. Jason takes them without any questions.

Strange. John has never seen a summoned creature share its reward with a human. And the son of a bat looks too comfortable with it. Wait, since when do super-powered beings think that candy is a decent wage?John makes one of the most likely deductions using his experience. Constantine: Batsy, how long has your son been sleeping with the King of Ghosts? Batman: He…what?!

~~~~~~~

Dick *knocking at the door*: Little Wing, you hate ectoplasm and everything what is neon green, so why? He’s dangerous! Jason who turned on the music to not listen to his crazy family: ~He’s poison but tasty~

Dick: NoOOoo

~~~~~~

Jason: And now everyone thinks that I sold my virginity to you for a bargain or something, because interdimensional creatures like you aren’t supposed to help for nothing. Like you’re playing favorites. I’m gonna fucking kill John. Danny: Well, I wouldn’t say no to that. Jason: What? Danny: I mean, to k-kill John, yeah. How dare he.. Jason: Omg, you’re still so terrible liar, Fenton.

Danny: Sorry :(

Jason: No. Say it again.

~~~~Twelve years ago~~~~ Maddie wasn’t thrilled to learn that Danny was trying to make friends with Todd’s son. Their neighbor was terrible. And his son was definitely a street rat and probably a juvenile delinquent. Maddie: Danny, honey, there’s got to be a reason this boy is talking to you. Even kids from the crime alley are always looking for a bargain they can make or a fool they can fool. Danny: But Jason is so cool! He knows so much about books and alleys and.. Maddie: But you don’t want to be a fool, do you? Danny: Okay, Mom, I get it.

So, if Danny wants a cool friend, he’s got to offer a bargain.

He didn’t have a lot of pocket money for every month but Jason needed it more anyway. And his lunch that Jack was picking for him was big enough for two and only bitten on Tuesdays. Nice. Jason: Do I understand correctly? You will pay me and give me food, and I, what? Protect you from bullies? Danny: No! I’m not weak, I don’t need to be protected. Just..maybe we could sit together at lunch and walk each other home sometimes? Jason: Nay Danny: But why? You want something else? Jason: Money’s fine but your homemade food is…strange. Danny: I can bring sweets if you want. Jason: Deal. 3 pop tarts for a joint lunch, a party size bag of M&Ms if you waste my time out of school.

~~~~

Sometimes they share sweets when they hang out but more often Jayson takes them home to save in case his parents have money problems. Sweets have a long shelf life stored and he may not be afraid to poison himself. Over time, candy becomes their currency and a secret language for all occasions. Need help without unnecessary questions? M&Ms. Problems with learning? Skittles. The question is about family? Snickers. There will be a serious conversation? Pop Tarts.

Jason: One snickers and a pack of gum. Danny: Yeah, Jason? What do you want? Jason: My mom wants to meet my friend. Come to lunch on Sunday. Danny: Okay, you managed to pay for my expensive services. Jason:…and you just lost the gum from the deal.

~~~~~~

Jason threw a package at Danny: Three pop tarts. We need to talk. Danny: All right? Jason: Why are you avoiding me all week?! Danny: Well, it’s just..you’re Wayne now. Jason. Still Todd. And what about that? Danny: You can hang out with the cooler guys now, I didn’t want to embarrass you. Jason: Bullshit! I’m still the street rat, and you’re trying to avoid our contract. me. And I don’t even need money from you anymore. What the hell? I thought you are my friend. Danny: And I am!

~~~~~~

Robin: What’s a schoolboy doing in an alley at night? Danny: Um, I…nothing? Don’t tell my parents, Mr. Robin sir. Robin: It will cost you so many Chunky Bars, you have no idea. Danny:...Jason? Jason: N-no. Danny: Damn yes. What are you doing in green shorts on the street at night?! Jason: Cosplay. Danny: Oh yeah? Then I’m just your hallucination. Don’t hesitate to ghost me. I’m going home, Disgrace In Pixie Boots, bye. Jason: fu%&c$#u


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lazzy-black-cat - Lazzy_Black_Cat
Lazzy_Black_Cat

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