“The Fact That You Don’t Love Me, Doesn’t Really Hurt Me. I Will Love You, Even If It’s Unrequited.

Excerpts of a book I’ll never write

“I’ll never cry in front of you. I’ll never tell you how I feel. I’ll never wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m not an open book. My walls will always be up and guarded. I won’t tell you how I fight with myself about you, about how I shouldn’t want you, about how you’ll break my heart if I give mine to you. I won’t tell you how my heart constricts at the thought of you leaving me. I’ll never show you how scared I am of this… Of you… Of us. You’re real. You’re everything I want, and nothing is certain. Everything is blurred and we walk on this thin line between reality and fantasy. You’re a dream and a nightmare. I find peace in you when everything else is chaos. I don’t know what this is and that uncertainty scares me but maybe just maybe if I stay around, you will too.”

— 2:31 AM thoughts

“That girl will never shut up. She’ll always have so much to say and when she says it she’ll probably stutter more than she should. She’ll get teased a lot for it too. That girl’s laugh will never quiet down. It’s loud and fills the whole room. She always hated that. Her anxiety will creep up in her body and will eat her inside out. Her depression will make her crawl under covers and make her a child again. She’s not trusted with sugar cause it’s then that that child in her comes out postivley. That girl is passionate and once you get her started on something she loves she won’t stop. That girl is a pain in the ass. But that girl loves so hard. She’s stupid and naive and idiotic but she loves with every fiber in her being. She lets it consume her and suddenly its like she’ll see the best in every flaw you have. She’ll stare at you and it’ll take everything in her not to kiss you. Cause to her you’re a fucking masterpiece. That girl loves so hard that a fire burns deep within her. The only bad thing is is that that fire burns so hard itll overcome her if you dont feel that way. It’ll overcome her until the beautiful stupid, naive, idiotic girl is nothing but ashes and embers on the floor. So i beg of you, please give that girl a chance.”

— unrequited love pt. 1

always being the friend of the beautiful girl getting hit on

athena. your mind and your tongue  are the greatest weapons you’ll ever need

artemis.  you were born with silver in your veins so take aim and don’t hold back

persephone. living in hell doesn’t make you any less of an angel 

hera. marriage is meant to be  a lifelong relationship  and the most important marriage  will be with yourself 

demeter. take lessons from the harvest;  even the smallest of seeds can flourish  into beautiful trees 

aphrodite. your body is your armor  your shield  and your greatest weapon use it well

rhea. like the tides out to sea  you may crash  before you can  flow with ease

hesita. sometimes  you have to look beyond your four walls to find your way home

messages from the greek goddesses | part i (cc, 2018)

“I’m afraid to love you. I’m afraid that you’ll leave and that I’ll go back to being alone again. Only it will be a hundred times worse because I’ll know what I’m missing. …I want to be able to love you more than I fear losing you, and I don’t know how. Teach me… Please teach me. Don’t let me destroy this.”

— Mia Sheridan

I know he’s not good for me but I can’t decide if walking away will hurt more than staying one more night.

-A.d.c

there is something so comforting about sadness. about throwing things on your bedroom floor and not picking them up. about binging reality tv in the dark for 14 hours straight. about lying in your bed and not moving while the world continues to turn around you. overwhelming and heavy depression is comforting because it’s familiar. it allows you to sink into yourself and rot there for as long as you want. thats the vicious cycle with depression, it takes everything to not give into the comfort and familiarity that comes with it.

““I just laugh now when I think about you and me, because it’s funny how I even let you get that close to me.””

— - wasted years

A letter I’ll never send…

I love you. You are my best friend and I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. And each day I continue to fall more in love with you, the more I realize how you’re slowly pulling away. But it’s because you don’t love me the way I love you. Because I am not her. You don’t love me the way you loved her. You gave her the random “I love you” texts and the endless phone calls because you missed her voice. You posted her on Instagram and surprised her with flowers when you knew she was having a bad day. You weren’t hesitant to show your love and hold her when she needed it. I want that. You tell me you just never want to fall that hard for someone again because it was unhealthy, but I know it’s because I’m not her. I want the endless phone calls and random “I love you” texts. I want to be surprised with flowers and be held when I’m having a bad day. I want more than anything to be her. Because you are my him. You are the one I will never forget, you are the one that everyone else will be compared to. In my eyes, you are my everything. But in your eyes, I’m just temporary.