What The Past Couple Days Have Felt Like

Children of the Full Moon

one of my favorite parts of moby dick is when ishmael wants/needs to tell us something but he desperately doesn't want to have to talk about it, he just buries it in a bunch of irrelevant information.

at the very beginning, he goes to church. a place filled with "silent grief... insular and incommunicable." and he sees these marble tablets on either side of the pulpit and says 'I don't really remember them all that well' (which is likely a lie. at the least it's extremely out of character for a man who directly quotes the internal monologues of other men) and proceeds to give three paraphrased examples. the first tablet is for a teenager, lost overboard off patagonia. the tablet was paid for by his sister. the second is for 6 men, taken by a whale they were hunting in the pacific. the tablet was paid for "by their surviving shipmates." the third is for a captain, killed on his own boat by a sperm whale off japan. the tablet was paid for by his widow. all seemingly normal.

except they're not. the first one is a red herring, seemingly irrelevant to our story. but the second? a memorial for a crew lost to a whale, left by their surviving shipmates? that's exactly what we're reading. the surviving shipmate is ishmael. he's all that remains. and then he pivots, drawing our attention to the much clearer parallel- the captain who loses his life on his own boat to a sperm whale. and we all immediately go "oh I know who that is! ahab!!" and ishmael succeeds. he needs us to see the sailors remembered by their surviving crew, but even more he needs to not address it. he needs us to not ask him about it. he wants this story to be told but he doesn't want to be the one telling it. he wants to pretend to be someone else, to be someone other than the one who survived. and for 135 chapters, he gets to be.

CHAINSAW MUPPETS: What are "Muppets?"

a post dedicated to me laying in bed last night lining out the rules for this stupid (said lovingly) AU

CHAINSAW MAN PARTS 1 AND 2 SPOILER WARNING!

(Credit to @wyvernslovecake for the silly drawing ideas(the white text))

Those are Marewill flowers!

I wake up at 5am to go to work and as I walk out the door I hear something.

“Tarnished, a word.  Before thou sees fit to return from thy daily toils, I would ask of thee, a boon.  Bring to me a bounty of crispy cheese snacks, and I shall reward thee handsomely.  Seek Joe the Trader in his abode, he may provide what I seek, for a price…”

Apparently spez has said that the blackout is 'noise' and 'will pass'. Two days was never enough. I'm not using Reddit until pigboy backs off. This blackout needs to be indefinite.

And when you leave for good, make sure to delete your valuable content. Shitheel isnt making a cent of my posts.

The content of spez's internal memo:

Hi Snoos,

Starting last night, about a thousand subreddits have gone private. We do anticipate many of them will come back by Wednesday, as many have said as much. While we knew this was coming, it is a challenge nevertheless and we have our work cut out for us. A number of Snoos have been working around the clock, adapting to infrastructure strains, engaging with communities, and responding to the myriad of issues related to this blackout. Thank you, team.

We have not seen any significant revenue impact so far and we will continue to monitor.

There’s a lot of noise with this one. Among the noisiest we’ve seen. Please know that our teams are on it, and like all blowups on Reddit, this one will pass as well. The most important things we can do right now are stay focused, adapt to challenges, and keep moving forward. We absolutely must ship what we said we would. The only long term solution is improving our product, and in the short term we have a few upcoming critical mod tool launches we need to nail.

While the two biggest third-party apps, Apollo and RIF, along with a couple others, have said they plan to shut down at the end of the month, we are still in conversation with some of the others. And as I mentioned in my post last week, we will exempt accessibility-focused apps and so far have agreements with RedReader and Dystopia.

I am sorry to say this, but please be mindful of wearing Reddit gear in public. Some folks are really upset, and we don’t want you to be the object of their frustrations.

Again, we’ll get through it. Thank you to all of you for helping us do so.

i call my parents and say ‘yeah i can’t do family stuff tonight, i got too much stuff to do for school’ and i e-mail my professor and say ‘i can’t do my assignments tonight, work got crazy’ and i text my boss and say ‘sorry i can’t work late tonight, i gotta some family stuff’ and through this triangulation of deceitful excuses i at last will be free

i think it would be funny if people occasionally arose from the dead. like if that was a real-life one-in-a-million but well-documented Thing That Sometimes Happens, and the entire legal system around death (laws on inheritance & marriage & murder etc) had to include caveats for the unlikely-but-scientifically-possible event that the dead person in question might spontaneously self-resurrect, even years or decades after death. it would raise so many inconvenient and absurd possibilities

Hi my name is Stigmata Divine Suffering Crucifixion Christ and I have bloody stigmata wounds (that’s how I got my name) with fresh blood and a deep gash on my side that reaches my mid-back and pain-filled blue eyes like Our Lady of Sorrows’ tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Mary Magdalene (AN: if you don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I’m not related to Jesus Christ but I wish I was because he’s a major fucking hottie. I’m a saint but I haven’t been canonized. I have scabbed up skin. I’m also a priest, and I go to an abbey called Montecassino in Italy where I’m a newly ordained priest (I’m seventeen). I’m a catholic (in case you couldn’t tell) and I wear mostly vestments. I love the Vatican and I buy all my clothes from there. For example today I was wearing a black alb with a matching black cassock, and a black linen surplice, a red stole, and episcopal sandals. I had crimson blood dripping from the crown of thorns wounds in my head, the four nail wounds in both my hands and feet, and the spear wound in my side. I was walking outside Montecassino Abbey. It was storming and raining which made me think about Isaiah 4:6, which I was very happy about. A lot of protestants stared at me. I put up my crucifix at them.

“Hey Stigmata!” shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Pope Francis!

“What’s up Pope?” I asked.

“Nothing.” he said shyly.

But then, I heard the archbishops call me and I had to go away.

✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟✟

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me thanks be 2 god! amen