I’m In LA, Who Wants To Fuck?

signs you’re recovering from long term abuse:

bursts of rage, or continuous rage at what was done to you

desire to overpower, restrain, chain up, torture or murder your abuser

clarity and full belief in your perception, complete rejection of abuser’s point of view

no longer caring what the abuser thinks of you, knowing their opinion is worthless and filled with lies

cutting off abusers easily as soon as you notice they’re toxic to you

willingness to do whatever it takes to fight for your life

rage at anyone who would cause any further abuse to you

strong conviction that hurting you is evil, and that anyone who does hurt you should be villified for it

full belief that anyone who hurts you is not to be excused for their actions, not given further trust, and that they should pay for it

valuing your freedom of movement, freedom of mind, safety of resources and ability to survive more than any kind of uncertain hopes, promises or validation

unwillingness to depend on someone’s view of you, opinion of you, or affection towards you, as it could change at any second and causes instability and anxiety

valuing stability more than highs and lows

ability to detect when someone is trying to confuse you, divert your point, make you look bad with the intention of punishing or controlling you, silence you or make themselves superior to you, and reacting with rage

avalanche of rage at any attempt to gaslight you, not willing for one second to doubt your own memory, being completely clear that anyone who pretends they didn’t do and say things they did is lying

unwillingness to consider yourself less valuable or important than other humans, and getting angry whenever you’re treated in such manner

refusing to do as you’re told, even if it makes people angry, knowing that what you want to do is more important than what anyone else wants from you

owning your life for yourself and knowing nobody else has any right to it

anger at everyone who could have helped you while you were abused and didn’t, anger at anyone who sided with your abusers, anger at system which allowed for you to be abused for so long, anger at helplessness to change it

recognition of your situation and full awareness you were helpless during abuse, and that none of it is remotely your fault

unwillingness to pretend and act in social situations

unwillingness abandon your morals, feelings, opinions and personality for the sake of pretend friendships and pretend relationships, only seeking real connections that don’t require you to make yourself socially acceptable

distrust in anyone who you notice is demanding authority, control, abuse and exploitation of another’s life, recognizing abusers and those who abuse the power of their social or economic standing and being actively disgusted by them

no delusions about people “only wanting the best for you” or “only wanting to help” while they’re hurting you, rejecting all harmful and useless advice and minimization of your pain

Wheat fields vs. lavender fields = crazy beautiful. 

via Reddit

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I’ll miss you.

girls night girls night girls night