Hi Hello I’m Being Haunted By This Fucking Podcast

this has probably been done already but i had a vision so

MAG176

when would they have time to do this

#themagnusarchives

Me when the story that obviously isn’t going to have a happy ending doesn’t have a happy ending

#themagnusarchives

jon with cats, by the way

The worst thing about the world is that almost nothing is black and white, no matter what I decide, it will never be as white as I wish it to be.

I really love this parallel between Gertrude and Jon on humanity (vague tma spoilers)

Gertrude "you were the one so insistent on staying human." Robinson lost everything that makes her human.

Sure, she never became a proper avatar and technically stayed human, but she didn't allow herself to love, to trust, to connect, because every time she did, she'd lose something and someone, so she became cold, she built walls, she took any risk, she'd go as far as she needed to, if it meant success.

It doesn't help that all of her actions lead to other people, servants and avatars to either despise and fear her or hold a great respect towards her. Either way it gets her what she wants.

You could forever argue about what kind of person all of that makes her, yet she was a person. Good, flawed or bad, she was a person and she was human. At least in the most technical most polished way.

But to say she never cared? That would be completely wrong. She held a cold demeanor and a strong confident facade, but deep down she cared.

To speak with such fondness of someone you've never properly interacted with? Is it not human? Yes, Agnes was her anchor, but still. There is something so warm about the way Gertrude talks about her, is curious about her.

To worry about the effects and ethics of your power, to refuse to embrace it, wouldn't that too be human?

And Gerry was probably the last person she genuinely loved and cared for. Gertrude's last tie to humanity, her last anchor and her last reason.

So when he died, when there was nothing left, her tasks, her goals became just some mundane things to take care of. Yes, for the greater good, for the sake of the world, but after you lose everything to care for, to come back to, what's saving the world you already grew so cold towards? Is it really driven by love, dedication, loyalty or connection? Or is it driven by revenge at best, and muscle memory at worst, simply because there is nothing left, but yet another task in your life?

Gertrude, undoubtedly, was human in this very technical, almost artificial way, and she tried her best to remove every ounce of humanity she had, even if she couldn't truly succeed.

On the other hand, Jon stayed so human, it's killing him. Sure, he became an avatar, he stopped being human in a literal sense, but he loves, he cares about people. He has anchors, he has people he mourns, he has people he loves, he has a reason. And that at the same time gives him power and weakens him enormously.

Him choosing to lose his humanity, to wake up, is the most human thing he could do. It's a choice to keep living, to keep fighting, to keep loving. A choice that he would regret over and over and over again as he thinks that he doesn't deserve to exist anymore, that his mere existence causes pain and suffering. And in a way it does.

So when people tell him that he's a monster he believes it. Maybe even more than they do.

It would be so much easier if he was a monster. If all the bad things he's done were driven by some power he was beneath of. If he was, he could just brush them off cause he can't help it, it's in his nature. "Is a thing evil when it simply obeys its own nature? When it embodies its nature?"

The thing is, he's not. He's not evil, he's not a monster, not a vampire, not a doll came to life, not the distortion. He did not come back wrong.

His choice to keep feeding is his own and that horrifies him so much. This choice not to starve, to keep living and to keep enjoying is a very human choice, it is not an instinct. The same way it was his choice to keep reading, to keep being involved. Yes, it's not fair. It's not a fair price for curiousity and it's not a fair price for living. But it's the reality of things.

Do you think he ever regretted setting a person free, even though that could easily kill him? Do you think that he ever regretted setting his foot into that coffin to save someone, who tried to kill him? Do you think he ever regretted choosing to save his loved one over finally getting a chance to kill the man, who ruined his life? Because I sure don't.

All of his mistakes, his sacrifices, all of his choices, all of it was caused by his humanity. Curiosity, love, hatred and fear, but never instinct. And that's what makes him human in all the ways that truly matter.

So when he finds out that there's a chance it all could be just a setup, it scares him. Because he thinks that it strips him of his humanity, of his choices and his whole life.

What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless

FOOD

Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food

grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread

different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.

some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit

SHELTER

Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment

sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it

Some churches offer short term residence

Find your nearest homeless shelter

Look for places that are open to the public

A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry

HYGIENE

A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.

Public libraries have bathrooms you can use

Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.

Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver

Local beaches, go for a quick swim

Some truck stops have showers you can pay for

Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet

Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket

OTHER

first aid kit

 sunscreen

 a travel alarm clock or watch

 mylar emergency blanket

 a backpack is a must

 downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards

 sleeping bag

 travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror

 swiss army knife

 can opener

mabel helping martin out with his workplace romance

All in one post :]