Those Shirts 😭

me: today is going really well and i don’t trust it some shit: *starts happening* me: ah there it is. the Fuckening™

I WILL NEVER RECOVER. MY LIL BLORBO IS FINALLY HOME 😭😭😭

Why does doing algebra while regressed have to be so much harder

Bruce: oh my god, I'm so worried, Dick has been kidnapped, what if something happens to him.

Dick:

Dick Grayson:

*runs the titans*

*works for the league*

*has a day job*

*solo patrols bludhaven*

*solo patrols New York*

*on call 24/7 for regularly scheduled Gotham crisis(es)*

*training at least 40% of new gen heroes at any given moment*

*infiltrating the current annoying cult, corrupt gov, spy organization, company, mafia group, evil underground ancestral foundations of a city and random corrupt modeling industry*

*monitoring drug pedaling in 3 cities*

*emotionally regulating 80% of his family bc why would they do it themselves? Nah let’s just ruin relationships for fun -cough Bruce cough-*

* maintaining civilian cover*

*canonically does volunteer work*

I am beginning to think nightwing doesn’t have anger issues he’s just overstimulated bc wtf

Like Dick take a break what is this?

————

Dick currently working on infiltrating the mob, after 4 days of 6+ hour patrols bc bludhaven has no chill an Arkham breakout, a performance review at work that took too long, organizing a titans outer space mission, just got back from training Jon Kent: no one call me plz god no one call me I can’t do this I have so much work no one. Call me plz

*phone rings* -it’s tim

He could ignore it but last time he left Tim alone for a month the dumbass lost his spleen and decided a cowl was a fashion choice (equally bad in his opinion)

Dick picking up the phone with his non broken arm: yello

Tim: so I accidentally maybe got kidnapped and maybe also started a cult around the concept of Batman and I’m out of energy drinks. (All equally dire in tims opinion)

Dick popping 4 caffeine pills: shut up I’ll be there in 30 don’t DO ANYTHing.

—————

Jason: sooo I might be engaged to an alien princess

Dick about to pop a Xanax: tell me it’s Kori or at least in this galaxy

Jason: nope

Dick: …. Can it wait

Jason: she wants to eat me, their species is like a praying mantis knockoff but with space and mind control.

Dick: yeah okay give me an hour I’ll call raven

————

Damian: hello Richard

Dick: what did you do.

Damian: I have been kidnapped by my mother

Dick: again

Damian: I feel it would be redundant to say anything

Dick: …….. alright I’ll call the nearest flying hero be there in a bit… keep ur spine where it is Damian or I swear to god-

——————

Bruce: cult

Dick who just got done with an undercover mission: anddd?

Bruce: we need someone to infiltrate it

Dick: I swear to god I. will. hurt. you

Bruce: hnnnn

——-

Babs: I have… acquired a child

Dick who is fighting deathstroke : …okayyyy

Babs who is watching the fight: she’s a little bit … traumatized

Dick, dodging a katana: preaching to the choir

Babs: can you do your whole, human empathy and kindness tell me ur life story I have puppy dog eyes.

Dick: ….

Babs: you owe me

Dick: … one day I will delete all your numbers and disappear

Babs cheerfully: you know no matter where you go I can find you hunk wonder see you in 3 hours don’t die before then!

Gotta be one of my favorite genders

Wait, for real?

I have beef with celery now like how does a vegetable have better connective tissue than I do????

(Clarification I am not saying I ate beef with celery I’m saying I wanna fight celery)

i have a big "hc" of dick grayson that he had HUGE fear of abandonment, mainly towards bruce himself.

after his parents died, he developed BIG abandonment issues

and to create even more trauma he was sent to JUVIE

so i think that he's really really insecure about his place as bruces son. He still has it, too

he tried his absolute BEST until exhaustion so that he wouldn't disapoint bruce and be sent away to juvie again

and the midia and bullying didn't helped, as they kept saying that he was a charity case and bullying him towards it and his origins

and i hc too that he sometimes ran away from home and he was found by either clark or selina. they're the only ones that know about this big insecurity of his.

and it's ironic that dick created suck high standarts to himself that he ended up creating an UNREACHABLA standart to the other robins.

i don't really know if these insecurities of his are canon so i putted it as a hc