Since You Seem To Like Our Walking Cabbages So Much, Imagine If They Got Together And Formed A Mafia

Since you seem to like our walking cabbages so much, imagine if they got together and formed a mafia style crime syndicate and took control of the underworld of Teyvat.

Now imagine some poor treasure hunter is being interrogated by Jean as to why his gang has been stealing seeds and vegetables and flowers, only for the door to be kicked open by a walking cabbage in a pinstripe suit with a cigar in it's lips as it tell him he can get back to business before said cabbage looks at Jean and tosses her some Dandelion seeds as a bribe before it turns on it's heel and leaves.

Jean would be left wondering just what was in the tea Lisa gave her, and if it was time for her to take a nice long break.

In summary, Aranara Mafia au with the Creator either being the Godfather/Godmother or the fool who gave them the inspiration to become a gang of eco minded criminals who aim to seize control of the underworld of Teyvat and use it to spread green across the world by steadily taking control of society from the shadows.

I am very tired and have work tomorrow, and so my brain is running on spite and fumes right now, so I apologize for the mess this idea is.

LMAOOOOOOO UNFORTUNATELY I SUCK AT WRITING BUT I'LL TRY COMING UP WITH A FIC BASED ON THIS 💀💀💀

OTHER THAN THAT TYSM FOR THE IDEA

Edit: WAIT ALSO IMAGINE IF THEY USE THE MONEY THEY GOT TO DONATE TO ORPHANAGES OR BUY SNACKS FOR THE SMALL NARA THAT VISIT EVERY NOW AND THEN <3

More Posts from Kimchi3174 and Others

11 months ago

“Why do you keep repeating this name, guys?”

My headcanon is that Venti doesn’t remember Rukkhadevata, but his winds do.

I mean, she existed and people were talking about her, but after they just forgot about her. However, people’s words are remembered by winds of time.

And we know that Venti can summon winds of the past, even if he didn’t hear personally some words, he still can find them in his winds.

I believe he forgot about her as well, but still knows about her and the whole situation, because his winds tell him that. Those sneaky bitches.

“Why Do You Keep Repeating This Name, Guys?”
1 week ago

Blood runs thicker than water.

lies of p paring: pinocchio x reader word count: 1159 cw: angst :], mentions of death, blood, beyond canon-typical violence i think, rage frenzy

a/n: welcome to my first real post on this account. i've been obsessed over pinocchio from lies of p since i started the game, then i started listening to chloe ament... you can probably see where this is going. hope you enjoy.

Blood Runs Thicker Than Water.

Emotions were not as elusive as they had previously been for the man-made puppet and yet, in this moment, he couldn't identify a singular one he felt. There had been a rush of worry, fright, and terror. But now it was an invasive mess.

His skin reacted to the slight breeze that blew past him, a shiver breaking him from his frozen stance.

Still, he wished for the sight before him to be one of the lies he'd thrown around.

Approaching the scene, Pinocchio would stumble, an imperfection to his typically faultless cadence. The ground below him squelched with wet mud as he did so, a distant sound to his eerily still mind. The loudest noise to him was the rising tempo of his mechanically heart, it rang in his ears, obscuring the sounds of pattering rain and squished mud.

Before him was you, pale as your blood had drained from your face.

You were posed on your knees, arms dangling loosely by your sides as a sword held you up, struck through your chest and into the muddied ground below. Pinocchio's glass eyes trailed the blade of the sword, every few inches was an extended notch of the blade, permitting the relatively upright position you'd been laid to rest in. A wooden sign hung with rope from the hilt of the blade,

Puppet Fucker. It read.

His hurricane of emotions came to an eerie calm.

The dark-haired puppet would take the rest of the paces to you, kneeling by your lifeless form. Pulling the sign from the hilt of the blade and tossing it into the muddied ground below, Pinocchio would do a once-over of your body.

Your shirt was torn, multiple wounds bedded into your skin, signs of struggle ripped across your hands. Your blade was broken in half, a few feet from your person. Your hair was matted and stuck to your face. He watched as the rain paved its path down your skin, some pooling in your stuck-open eyes before sliding down your cheeks. If he had known any better, he'd have guessed you'd been sad.

The puppet would reach forward, silently pressing the pads of his fingers against your top eyelids, pulling them down to finally let you rest your eyes.

A breath escaped him, fogging the air between you and him.

Slowly, Pinocchio would place a hand against your back, then his other between your thighs and calves. Bringing himself to his feet, you'd rest in the bridal position he held you in just a year prior. The tone of that moment was much more pleasant to bask in.

One step at a time, Pinocchio found his way back to the hotel.

He'd kick the door open with a lack of urgency, your fate had been sealed hours before.

Trekking mud, rain water, and dead city grime onto the shiny floors of the hotel, Pinocchio would approach the central Stargazer.

The first to notice him was Sophia, gasping in horror at the large, notched blade sworn through your chest. Antonia, from the other room, would advert her gaze, a solemn expression Pinocchio couldn't read overcoming her face. Eugenie had frozen, leaving Venigni to look around the corner of the wall. Shock was quickly present in his features.

Finally, Pinocchio's eyes would leave your form, his eyes coming into contact with Sophia's, a silent plead shifting his expression. No words were needed in the exchange, a nod coming from her as soon as she saw his face.

Blood Runs Thicker Than Water.

Your funeral was small, held in the garden of the hotel. The guest list didn't expand beyond the residents of the safe space, no one of your biological family lived beyond you.

Pinocchio stayed the latest of everyone, knelt by your makeshift headstone, fingers lightly tracing the dirt before it.

The calm of the storm hadn't passed, he'd been near numb to the entirety of it all, earning him a few concerned glances from Gepetto and Sophia. He knew the two of them shared their worries behind his back whenever they could.

He had given the sword to Venigni and Eugenie to inspect, perhaps find its maker, or better yet, who wielded it.

Venigni had an answer two days later. Pinocchio hadn't moved much until given the information he desired. Slowly, and in a fashion that near scared the philanthropist, the puppet rose. His glass eyes trailed the blade Eugenie held behind Venigni. He approached. Carefully, as to not hurt the woman, Pinocchio would take the sword into his palms.

The metal made a horrifying screech as it bent, Pinocchio's Legion Arm doing the majority of the work. When the sword was rendered useless, the puppet would move forward, back into the luxury of Hotel Krat.

He was working out his lack of emotions while he moved, it wasn't a numbness like he had before he began gaining humanity.

It was a silent, simmering rage.

The atmosphere surrounding the puppet was enough to alert Sophia, she started to interject as he approached the Stargazer, but his human-like arm had already reached the glowing center piece.

In a moment he was back to the creepily empty streets of the city, a new mission on his mind.

Pinocchio tore through any puppet trying to attack him on his path, his rapier tearing their arms from their torsos, or their heads from their necks. Oil and Ergo splattered against his clothes and face, nothing the rain couldn't wash away.

Eventually, Pinocchio would kick in the door of a luxurious-looking mansion, the wooden door splintering from its hinges and loudly clattering against marble floors.

Eyes scanning the foyer was nearly enough to send him into a rage. Weapons, all custom made lined themselves against the walls, a list of names under each of them. For some, names were crossed out, for others, the names laid untouched. Though, as Pinocchio entered further into the quiet of the mansion, he'd find his eyes traveling to the central stairs at the back of the main room.

Your name, printed in bold, crossed with a red line, lay under an empty sword mount. Next to your name, under a sword mount with a plain blade, was Pinocchio's, untouched.

A few claps would pull the puppet from his stare, as a man came down the upper level of stairs.

Pinocchio's mechanical heart beat louder, obscuring the words of the man before him, his eyebrows pinching towards each other as he'd throw the sword he'd bent onto the ground between the man and himself. It scraped across the marble floors, leaving a few scratches that would never be repaired.

Whatever the man was saying, Pinocchio couldn't hear. His breathing began to pick up, a trait he'd copied from you, his heart was raising in tempo again.

The man would grab the sword labeled with Pinocchio's name.

An invitation to begin.

Blood Runs Thicker Than Water.

Pinnochio found his way back to Hotel Krat, covered in blood that the rain couldn't wash away.

Blood Runs Thicker Than Water.

hope you enjoyed my first one-shot ♡

1 year ago

I've gotta eat this pop tart fast

so I don’t fall aslee

11 months ago

I want Deshret Alhaitham to be canon because it would be hilariously ironic for Rahman.


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11 months ago
Thank You Doraemon

thank you doraemon <333

11 months ago

One of my favorite things(and also something I find very hilarious) abt Diluven: The fact that Diluc's surname Ragnvindr more or less translates to 'Wind God' and that is just something so precious(and funny) to me

One Of My Favorite Things(and Also Something I Find Very Hilarious) Abt Diluven: The Fact That Diluc's
11 months ago
Kazuscara | A Ghost Of A Memory
Kazuscara | A Ghost Of A Memory
Kazuscara | A Ghost Of A Memory
Kazuscara | A Ghost Of A Memory
Kazuscara | A Ghost Of A Memory

Kazuscara | A Ghost of a Memory

Part 1/?

Also hbday to scara ♡


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11 months ago

Rody, Vincent // Thoughts on S/O

Notes// I've got these random brainrots like, if reader has to play this game connected to the deadplate game in the pov of a journalist to solve some kind of case related to Manon's disappearance-- so Rody and Vincent would be having npcs with extra dialogue lines that talk about their s/o(Y/N, not manon). The other idea of us playing in the pov as the s/o(separate) would be interesting too.

Rody, Vincent // Thoughts On S/O

Rody//

•NPC!Rody can be seen walking and catering patrons with a friendly smile. He was wearing roller skates as he often has his hands busy with dish plates during his work shift.

•If you stay long enough to shift restaurant, there is a chance he would stutter his performance a bit as his arms tremble to keep the plates from not falling in his hands.

•When talking to him, his speech is usually rush as he has to shift from one corner of the restaurant to the other, his eyes everywhere as he rambles on yet keeping a friendly aura through his firm smile.

•"Hello- welcome to La Gueule le Saturne! Allow me to guide you to the right table. "

•"Yes? Please stay seated for the mean time, I'll be right back with you soon!"

•"Would you like to order?"

•(asked about S/O) "Oh- Oh? My lover?" *sheepish smile with a goofy blush suddenly* "They're doing great." *easily goes back to work*

•Whether as a coworker or customer. One thing clear is that you're a bit closer enough to know Rody's S/O's name.

•"We can talk later!"

•"What's up? Need a hand?"

•"Uh--- can you take care of the other tables? Thanks!"

•"mmm... I wonder what kinds of flowers I should give for Y/N this time?" *dozing off in the kitchen for a moment *

•(When asked about S/O) "Y/N are at home, and they are taking care of our apartment.. If only i can convince them.to to move a finger.. God, they're so wonderful-- Oh, excuse me." *catches almost getting too deep into the topic before trying to quickly go back to work*

Internal Thoughts//

I love Y/N... I must work hard for them. Without them, I'll be nothing... So I have to do more than my best to give them the love and care they need! I must please them. I must serve them... Well, even if it's too much.. I'm willing to give them everything... my everything.

I promise them a brighter future... where we don't have to worry about money and bills. I just need to earn and save more.

This journalist keeps coming over pretty often--- I wonder what they are looking for? Why are they so curious of my honey? I need to keep them safe from unwanted attention - I'll just try and answer briefly as possible.

___

Vincent//

•Usually you'll see NPC!Vincent in the corner watching the cooks work to check for perfection. No matter how early you are, it's already clear that he's the boss. The one who is the first person to open the restaurant

•Day 4, you can find him walking to the dumpster area to smoke in his break.

•When interacting with him. He'll show a polite, charismatic persona when talking to you as a visitor or patron.

•"Good day, what may I help you..?" *fake smile*

•"Hello, are there any problems with a dish you have ordered? We can try and fix something to recompensate it."

•"Looking for me...?"

•"Oh- may I ask what you are doing here, Monsieur/Mademoiselle? Rody should have informed me about you coming here -"

• (When asked about S/O) "Mm... About my fiancé? They're doing well, thank you for asking." *maintaing a fake smile*

•If you happened to end up working for him as a waiter or cook, his demeanor would probably be a different story.

•"..."

•"What do you need?"

•"......"

•"Why are you still here? You better not try chit-chats on me."

•"...What?"

•(When asked about s/o) "S/O? They're at work. Any business with them? I can let them know on your behalf with anything you need to inform later. Just go back to work."

Internal Thoughts//

I keep mentioning Y/N as "my fiancé " through the press and the public. In reality, We're not officially engaged, but I like the sound of it, and i do it so no one can bother to make advancements on me - I need to be seen as... royally taken.

The journalist keeps asking questions to me... even having the audacity to press on matters related to my Y/N. If they know what really happened to Manon, I must make a backup plan...

And do not fret, mon cher. I'll soon place a real ring on that pretty finger on yours... Once the evidence needs to be rid of from anyone's reach.

11 months ago

*In the jungle outside Vimara Village*

Fatui Agent stalking Vimara Village Kids: …

Scaramouche, shadow-babysitting: …

Scaramouche’s Aranara Supervisor: …

Fatui Agent: The- The Balladeer—!

Scaramouche: >:)

Aranara Supervisor: (ツ)/🔪


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just a gal

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