[Not All Wishes Comes True] - [SKZ X M!Reader]

Never have I ever get so turned on over a fictional character’s sexy back. 🥵

Mafia!AU??????

[Credits of the art : sunako_kawa on twitter]

[Credits of the art : /memipapai on twitter]

How to Write a Character Who Feels Like Throwing Up

When fear, dread, or guilt gets sickening—literally—your character is consumed with a gut-clenching feeling that something is very, very wrong. Here's how to write that emotion using more than the classic "bile rose to the back of their throat".

Start with the Stomach

This isn’t just about discomfort. It’s about a complete rebellion happening inside their body.

Their stomach twists like a knot that keeps pulling tighter

A cold sweat beads on their neck, their palms, their spine

Their insides feel sludgy, like everything they’ve eaten is suddenly unwelcome

They double over, not from pain, but because sitting still feels impossible

Add Sensory Overload

Vomiting isn’t just a stomach reaction—it’s the whole body.

Their mouth goes dry, and then too wet

Their jaw tightens, trying to contain it

A sudden heat blooms in their chest and face, overwhelming

The back of their throat burns—not bile, but the threat of it

Breathing becomes a conscious effort: in, out, shallow, sharp

Emotional Triggers

Nausea doesn’t always need a physical cause. Tie it to emotion for more impact:

Fear: The kind that’s silent and wide-eyed. They’re frozen, too sick to speak.

Guilt: Their hands are cold, but their face is flushed. Every memory plays like a film reel behind their eyes.

Shock: Something just snapped inside. Their body registered it before their brain did.

Ground It in Action

Don’t just describe the nausea—show them reacting to it.

They press a fist to their mouth, pretending it’s a cough

Their knees weaken, and they lean on a wall, pretending it’s just fatigue

They excuse themselves quietly, then collapse in a bathroom stall

They swallow, again and again, like that’ll keep everything down

Let the Consequences Linger

Even if they don’t actually throw up, the aftermath sticks.

A sour taste that won’t leave their mouth.

A pulsing headache

A body that feels hollowed out, shaky, untrustworthy

The shame of nearly losing control in front of someone else

Let Them Be Human

A character feeling like vomiting is vulnerable. It's real. It’s raw. It means they’re overwhelmed in a way they can’t hide. And that makes them relatable. You don’t need melodrama—you need truth. Capture that moment where the world spins, and they don’t know if it’s panic or flu or fear, but all they want is to get out of their own body for a second.

Don't just write the bile. Write the breakdown.

[Here Always]  - [SKZ Kim SeungMin X M!Reader]

If one could describe M/N relationship with none other than the love of his life, Kim SeungMin, one would say they are not even in love or even in one. That was the view of the world but, not to M/N and SeungMin.

F/N M/N and Kim SeungMin were friends since they were in their diapers. SeungMin’s mom and M/N’s mother would meet up every single day being the closest of friends. As they grew up, no doubt, they became close.

An awkward day being alone An unknown whisper The night I wandered around calling you When I close my eyes Warm comfort blows into me like a cold season Slowly into me

It was that one night when M/N realises that he was in love with SeungMin. For the first time in forever, M/N and SeungMin had spent the day apart from each other.

‘How’s the night going?’

M/N sighed as he sent a text to SeungMin whilst he sat on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position.

He had abandoned on his supposedly date for the night after spending 15 minutes together in a restaurant. They had ordered their food and drinks, only awaiting for it to be served. His date was good looking, benevolent and wonderful and he was sure that if everything went well, he might just get laid tonight. That was until his eyes played tricks on him. He had imagined it was Kim SeungMin sitting in front of him, smiling and laughing at the random jokes they heard from across the table. He had wished that it was Kim SeungMin who had grabbed his hand tenderly and stared into his eyes.

“I…..I’m so sorry.” M/N pulled his hand away from the other before, shifting his gaze everywhere but, not to him.

“It’s okay.” His date smiled, “you’re in love with someone else aren’t you?”

“Is it obvious?”

His date smiled and nodded, “very. Now, go. Get him before it’s too late. I’m just going to assume that you both went on separate dates to get someone and then now is the time where you realise you are in love with each other.”

M/N grinned so widely that his cheeks hurts a lot. He thanked the date profusely and gave him a hug for making him realise. M/N didn’t waste anymore time as he rushed out of the restaurant, stopping by the counter to pay for the food and rode on his bike back home, his shared apartment with SeungMin.

When he reached home, he realise that SeungMin was on his own date, which means, the probability of him falling for his date was high and he couldn’t just barge and ruin the date if SeungMin was happy. M/N begins overthinking about all the possibilities that emerge wildly in his head.

What if Kim SeungMin didn’t feel the same way he did?

What if Kim SeungMin hated him for loving him?

What if ———

‘Can you get me?’

The special ringtone of SeungMin’s alerted M/N out of his train of thoughts. M/N jolted up from the couch, grabbing his things before rushing out the door.

“Hey.” M/N whispered, seeing as SeungMin sat on the bench by the roadside.

SeungMin looked up with teary eyes, holding his hands up like a child wanting to be carried. M/N smiled and got down from his bike, taking the other into his embrace.

“I take the date didn’t go so well?” M/N asked.

“No, it went wonderful. He was nice and kind and handsome.” SeungMin sniffled as he hid his face into M/N’s neck. “But I was the one who isn’t okay.”

“Shall we go home, cuddles and snacks on the couch and you can tell me all about it?”

SeungMin broke out of the hug and threw pillows to M/N’s chest. “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!”

M/N sweat dropped as he looks around to see the passer-by giving him a look of disappointment as if he had done something wrong.

“Minnie, I’m sorry that you hate me but, everyone here is literally thinking that I did something wrong to you and I don’t know if I did so, what’s wrong Minnie?” M/N whispered grabbing SeungMin’s hand to stop the other from hitting him.

“I like you okay? Fuck, I think I love you even and today date went wrong because my fucking date made me realise that I am in love with you! And I hate you for making me lo—-,”

M/N cut the latter off, linking their lips together. SeungMin melted in the kiss as he felt himself calming down instantly.

“You k——,”

“I like you okay? Fuck, I love you. And just like you, tonight made me realise that I am in love with you that I am not able to spend any more nights without you.” M/N said as he plants a chaste kiss to SeungMin’s forehead.

“I hate you.” SeungMin sniffled and leans his head to M/N’s chest.

“I love you more.” M/N grinned. “Here always.”

“Here always.” SeungMin repeated.

I'm still here always

Each and every stop

I miss being by your side

Always there by your side

Here always

If there's a name that I'm going to call you

Should it be a "shining sea" or "my world"?

When I close my eyes

It lingers in my ears

Your faint waves come into my dreams

And sprеad out fully

[Selective Mute - SKZ Lee Know X M!Reader] [NSFW]

“Babe, this colour or this colour?” M/N looks to his boyfriend who held two different suit. One was grey, the other was white. He gave a light shrug before pointing to the white one. “What about you? What colour would you be wearing?” M/N made his way to the rack and pull out a black suit. “Looks good. Let’s check out, I’m starving and the kids just texted me. Felix made brownies.”

M/N smiled, wrapping an arm around his older boyfriend and gave a chaste kiss to the latter forehead. The couple were preparing for the red carpet of MAMA, attending as a pair for the first time in the two years of their relationship. A week prior, with the approval of JYP, Lee Know came out to his fans, to the world about being a gay and having a boyfriend. He explained that they had been together for two years. Instantly, the news blew up and thankfully, the outcome was positive. MAMA even invited M/N as a guest to attend with Lee Know.

“We’re homed!” Lee Know voice echoed through the hallways of the entrance as he took off his shoes, putting them neatly on the rack. M/N followed through the older, heading inside the living room.

“Welcome back!”

“Hi Hyung”

“Hey M/N,”

The chorus of response ignited in the kitchen where SKZ joyfully prepared dinner as a team. It was half an hour later when all of them sat at the dining table, devouring their home cooked meal, which was a once in a blue moon thing considering how busy they were and all they ever ate was take out when the leader begins to converse in small talks

“Have you picked out the suit?” Bang Chan asked the couple who sat opposite him.

“Yeah we did. I can’t believe it’s happening tomorrow night.” Lee Know said. M/N gave him a squeeze on his thigh, calming the older down.

“It’s finally time. STAYs love you guys as much as they love all of us so everything will be alright.” ChangBin assured the dancer just as he got up to take a drink from the fridge.

M/N watched fondly as Lee Know started ranting out about how nervous he was whilst the rest of the members assured him calmly. It was a beautiful scene to watch, having them showing support to each other. Unfortunately, by the end of the day, closing to midnight, M/N waved goodbye to the members, getting himself ready to leave the dorm.

“I’m going to see you tomorrow afternoon right?” Lee Know frowned as he look up to his taller boyfriend, hands intertwined behind his neck. M/N smiled softly, planting a soft kiss to the latter’s forehead. “Can you not go home tonight? You can just sleep over.”

M/N shook his head, apologising through his eyes. Lee Know knew he couldn’t get M/N to stay for the night, at least, tonight because M/N had to prepare for tomorrow and he had work to be completed the next morning. M/N is a composer in HYBE.

“Okay,” Lee Know let out a soft sigh, nodding to the latter. Both of them understood each other. As much as the lovers want to just lock themselves in a room and forget the world exist, the world still exist and life had to move in. “I love you.” M/N responded by kissing the older deep enough for the the latter to cry out a soft moan.

Heavy heartedly as Lee Know watch his lover disappear into the closing elevators door, he sighed, going back into the dorm, straight into his room.

“Hyung? Are you okay?” JiSung peeked his head into the dancer’s room, concern on how dejected the other looked. He found Lee Know sat on his bed, knees tugged into his chest as he stroll nonchalantly on his phone. “Hyung?”

“Oh, hey Sungie. What’s up?” Lee Know asked.

“I’m worried about you. I know you’re nervous for tomorrow but, you look as if you are going to attend a death sentence.”

Lee Know frowned even more, “I look that bad?” He sighed, “I know I’m nervous but, I’m more terrified for tomorrow. What if there’s an anti or some kind of sasaeng? I mean, there must be at least one or a couple of people who dislike our relationship. Not that I care about them liking it or not but, what if they hurt M/N?”

“I hear you and I understand where you’re coming from but, you need to know that both of you aren’t alone here. You still have us. We will be there to protect you both and STAYs will be there to protect us. They’re our guardian angels you know.” JiSung said, “have you forgotten when a sasaeng literally snatch Felix’s ÏČË scream randomly out of nowhere? STAYs hunted her down and made sure she was reported. That’s how STAYs are for us.”

“You’re right. I’m getting too worked up for tomorrow.” Lee Know sighed, “thanks Sungie.”

“Always there for you Hyung.” JiSung grinned and gave the older a tight hug.

It was late at night, early in the morning, where neither the Sun or the stars shine in the sky. It was 4am when M/N found himself yawning for the ninth time as he type in the lyrics that he compose an hour ago into his laptop. He was tired but, he was not exactly sleepy. Yawning means coffee. The producer saves his work and took out a can of coffee, gulping it in one shot. He finally took his phone from his back pocket, surprised to see missed calls from none other than his lover. Something was wrong. Lee Know almost never calls, or at least, Lee Know knew when to call considering how little M/N even speak. Locking the door to his studio entrance, sitting back down on his roller chair. M/N called his lover.

“M/N, I——I’m” When Lee Know spoke, it sounded like his voice was made of gravel. His clear tone was undercut with a choking heaviness that forced him to pause several times.

“Give me 15 minutes. I’ll be outside your dorm baby.” M/N was not going to lie at how his heart aches hearing Lee Know’s voice. The last time he heard this voice was almost a year ago when they had a huge fight due to a misunderstanding. It wasn’t pretty but M/N thanked god they manage to talk it out.

His fingers tapped against the elevator walls as he anxiously waited for it to reach a certain level. Every second that went by cause more ache to his heart. He needed to get to Lee Know, fast. Ding! The elevator door opened and M/N sprinted out of it to where SKZ dorm was. There, he crouched, tears streaming down his face as he hiccups, swallowing back sobs that threatened to echo down the hallway.

“Baby.” M/N whispered, scooping his lover into his arms, holding him tightly. Lee Know buried his face into M/N’s chest, letting out a soft sob. “Come on, let’s get you inside, you’re freezing.” The producer lifted the dancer effortlessly. Lee Know has his legs wrapped around M/N’s hips as he buried his face deep into the latter’s neck. Not wanting to wake the rest up, M/N tiptoed towards the room, locking the doors behind him.

M/N gently laid Lee Know on the bed and hovered on top of him, “baby?”

“I’m sorry.” Lee Know sniffled, “you were busy and I just had to disturb you. I don’t even know why I can’t stop crying,”

“Baby, it’s okay. You’re my priority,” M/N gently ran a hand through the dancer’s hair, “now, baby. what’s wrong?”

“I….I just feel so scared for tonight. I.. I know it should be a joyous occasion but, what if, someone hurts you? What if there are anti and sasaeng who wants to hurt you? I’m scared. I don’t want you hurt.” Lee Know sniffled, clenching onto M/N’s black cotton shirt.

M/N cooed and kisses the tears away, booping their noses together, “baby, how could I ever not love you?” The producer grinned, planting a kiss to the dancer’s lips, “everything will be alright, let’s not think negatively. If it’ll make you feel better, I was once a policeman.”

“I forgot about that and I feel so dumb right now,” a blush spread on Lee Know’s cheek as he finally calm down.

“It’s okay baby, thank you for worrying about me. I love you. I love you. I love you.” M/N repeatedly said as he plants kisses to Lee Know’s forehead, down to his eyelids, his nose, his cheeks, his lips, his neck. “May I?” The producer asked for consent, knowing where the kisses were leading to.

“Yes please,” Lee Know whispered as M/N continue to plant kisses on his neck, sucking on them to leave a bruise. The producer continued, sliding his hand under the dancer’s shirt, caressing his torso so lovingly. Lee Know mewled, arching his back in pleasure. It was just a matter of seconds when they got themselves undress.

“I love you baby.” M/N smiled softly to the older, as he insert a lubricated digit into him. Lee Know bit his lips, suppressing a moan, “let me hear you baby.” The producer insert another finger in a scissoring motion.

“Fuck, I want to feel you love, I want you in me.” Lee Know moaned.

M/N chuckled, planting a kiss to the older’s forehead as he added another finger into him, “patience, baby.” Almost like a growl, Lee Know felt the high in him arise, with a arch back, he came. “Cumming only from my finger, baby?”

“V—-voice, your voice,” breathless, Lee Know clawed on M/N’s broad shoulder, “fuck me.”

M/N smirked, “how about a little ‘please fuck me’, baby?”

“Please fuck me. Please fuck me now, make me scream.” Lee Know moaned as he felt M/N slide his dick teasingly on Lee Know’s entrance.

“Safe word?”

“Euphoria.” Lee Know responded instantly.

“I love you.” M/N whispered into the older’s ears before slamming hard into him.

“A—agh, fuck.” He could feel the older’s tremble under him as he kept a consistent pace, feeling the warmth of Lee Know around him. “B—ig big. You’re too big.”

“Am I hurting you?” Concern, M/N stopped his movement, staring into Lee Know’s teary eyes.

Lee Know felt warmth in his heart. It wasn’t the first time they made love, it has been countless of time and yet, M/N never failed to be gentle and caring. In the name of SKZ, Lee Know swore despite the countless time, he could never get use to M/N. M/N was thick and long. Every time the producer thrusted in him, he could feel his guts being rearranged indefinitely.

Lee Know chuckled, holding onto M/N’s cheek, “I’m okay. I promise.”

“I love you.” M/N kissed him deeply before thrusting in rhythmic. “You’re so tight baby. I can never imagine this pleasure from anyone,” M/N growled as he grip Lee Know’s waist, thrusting into him harder. He puts a hand on the older’s lower stomach, smirking when he sees the bulge each time he thrusted.

“A—agh, agh, M/N, I’m gonna cum. Cum in me please,” Lee Know breathlessly moaned. M/N smiled, locking their lips together as he thrusted with a inhumane speed.

“AGH~~~,” The two moaned, riding their highs. Lee Know could feel the warm liquid of M/N in him as he came onto their chest.

“I love you.” M/N said.

“I love you.” Lee Know gasped. “Why…why are you growing bigger in me?”

M/N chuckled, “round two before everyone wakes up?” He glanced over to the clock on the nightstand seeing that it was almost 6am.

“If I can’t walk on the red carpet later, it’s your fault.” Lee Know laughed, “but oh well, round two please.”

~~~~~~

“Did you guys not hear it this morning?”

“I think Hyung brought someone back.”

“He’s cheating on M/N?”

“That’s impossible. Hyung loves M/N to death.”

“But they were fucking and there was another voice, apart from Hyung’s. M/N is mute. I doubt he would make any sound while fucking”

“Maybe we should talk to Lee Know first. Let’s not jump into conclusions.”

In the midst of the chaos between the members of SKZ, leaving Lee Know apart, M/N walked into the kitchen, half asleep. He nodded to the members as a good morning before pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“M/N Hyung.” I.N called out the latter, “when did you arrive here?”

‘This morning.’ M/N wrote on the board hanged on the fridge. The members had put him into consideration in terms of how they wanted to converse.

“This morning? Meaning, you just came back from work?” SeungMin asked, earning a nod from the latter.

All of them shared a look with each other before Bang Chan beckoned to the producer to sit with them. M/N raised an eyebrow confused but nonetheless took a seat.

“I know we shouldn’t be the one saying this but,” ChangBin gulped, debating whether he should say the next sentence in mind.

“Lee Know might have brought back some—,” Bang Chan was cut off when Lee Know came limping into the kitchen, half asleep.

“Morning guys.” The dancer greeted and smiled sleepily to his lover. He too poured himself some coffee before heading over to M/N, casually taking a seat on his lap. He plants a kiss to M/N cheek before snuggling his head into the producer’s neck.

Everyone gave a death stare.

“Do I have blood on me or was the limping too obvious? Why the hell are they death staring me?” Lee Know whispered to his lover. M/N shrugged putting his hand in surrender. “Are you going to kill me or how is this going to work?”

“Hyung.” HyunJin deadpanned.

“Who was in your room this morning?” Felix asked.

Lee Know looked at them confused, “who was in my room? Myself and M/N of course.”

“How can you prove it?”

“Well, I don’t know if M/N is a invisible man but, I am right here sitting on my man’s lap. Literally.” Lee Know emphasised.

Bang Chan sighed as he finally knock on the table to get the attention of others, “okay. I know we aren’t suppose to actually get ourselves into your business but, we heard someone else in your room this morning Lee Know. The person and you were making love. As you know, the walls are not soundproof here.”

Lee Know and M/N looked at each other, the dancer turning red every second.

Chang Bin continued, “and we do not believe that it was M/N because number one, you are way too loud and two, M/N is mute, we doubt he would make a sound.”

Lee Know broke out into a laugh so hard, tears were accumulating in his eyes, “wait wait wait, so you’re telling me that you suspected that I cheated on M/N?”

“Yes!” The members responded simultaneously.

“Omgggg, I would never cheat on M/N. Besides, if did, I would lose literally my life along.” Lee Know giggled.

“See I told you, Hyung would never cheat.” JiSung chimed.

Lee Know calm himself down and wipe away a fallen tear, “my apologies for being too loud but, the other voice you heard was actually M/N. M/N is mute but he’s a selective mute.”

“I can speak, I have a voice.” M/N said as he adjusted Lee Know on his lap, sitting upright. Everyone gasped, eyes widened. “The only person I feel comfortable speaking to is Lee Know Hyung.“

“You did good babe.” Lee Know praised the producer. He knew how much it would take a toll for M/N to speak to others. “It’s not that he is uncomfortable with you guys but, M/N had a rough past with his voice which causes severe anxiety. It’ll take time for him to open up. It took close to three years when we were just friends for him to speak to me.”

“Oh lord, we’re so sorry for assuming such things.”

“Don’t apologise. You guys did nothing wrong, instead we should be the one apologising for the disruption this morning.” Lee Know blushed.

JiSung grinned, “nah, it is good to know that M/N actually can speak. What we’re worried it’s more of, can you walk later? I swear the bed creaking and your scream Hyung was a little over the moon.”

“Oh, that’s not even a full session.” Lee Know cheekily smiled as he kisses M/N’s cheek.

“Ewwwww,” the member cringed at the lovers.

❛ ᴋᴇɴᴊɪ ꜱᴀᴛᴏ ᴛᴡᴛ ʟɪɴᴋꜱ

<< nfsw twitter links>>

━━ "I'd reach about... here"

━━ Strokes and penetration with Ken Sato

━━ What if that tub scene went differently?

━━ Coach isn't on the bus, but his daughter is.

━━ "You wanted a private interview? Well here it is."

━━ Just a quick blowjob before his game. He basically begs you.

━━ "It'd be quick, no one coming in here." He whispers in your ear.

━━ Just what he needs after a long day's work of training in baseball in the day and being Ultraman at the night

━━ "Is this why you wanted an interview of the records? Kenji Sato gets a handjob from a reporter and can't stop whimpering. "

━━ This is how Ken Sato looks at you after trying to deny him the only thing that can cheer him up after losing a match.

━━ He had a good match today, won the season all thanks to the countless support and encouragement from his bare. He's gotta repay her somehow.

━━ When Emmi was around, it was Emmi, a game, the press, Emmi again, training, coach shouting at him, Emmi again, being Ultraman, Emmi. He barely got any time to rest, but whenever he did, he didn't use it to sleep but rather for stress relief

━━━ Kenji always spent so much time on the online meetings that the coach had him join. Hours of coach's rambling, and he couldn't even doze off because he would always call on someone like it was a damn history class. You decide to help Kenji and satisfy his boredom a little bit.

rezitio©, as promised my children. enjoy & I'd live feedback and sorry for going away for so long. Startedbthis yesterday lol.

masterlist

my ao3

kakashi hatake

fluff

breakfast with ninken kakashi x gn!reader, no warnings

changing my major kakagai, no warnings

a kunoichi's surprise kakashi x fem!reader, pregnancy

cold brew kakashi x gn!reader, coffee shop au

perfect for you kakashi x gn!reader, marijuana use

cupcake of the week kakashi x gn!reader, bakery au

together kakairu, cooking together, iruka adopts naruto

brownies kakairu, iruka adopts naruto, domestic

angst

orange sherbet kakagai, suicide tw, self harm mention, overdose tw, depression tw

friend killer kakashi kakagai, mention of gore, mention of vomit

another year gen, suicidal ideation, birthday fic

mirror gen, suicide attempt, character death

dysthymia 02 / 03 / 04 / 05 / 06 / 07 / 08 / 09 / 10 / 11 / 12/ 13 ongoing, depression, check chapters for tws

kabuto yakushi

STEAM, not STEM kabuto x sai, college au, EtL ish

when you thought I was asleep kabuto x sai, hurt-ish/comfort, domestic fluff

pop quiz kabuto x kakashi, established relationship, hospital angst

shino aburame

shino's strategy fluff, shinoten, mention of akamaru biting

shisui uchiha

operation itachi's birthday fluff, no warnings

tsunade

who tells your story angst, war era, mention of death

Hatake Kakashi Timeline (Part ½)

I’ve seen a lot of confusion about Kakashi’s timeline recently. I’ve spent a ton of time obsessing over this so I thought I’d share.

Birth 9/15

Age = 5 ⇒ Graduates Academy

Age = 6 ⇒ Chunin Promotion

Age = 7 ⇒ Sakumo’s Death 

Inferred from Chapter 240, page 18

This is from Kakashi’s first mission as a jounin. Kakashi was 12 (possibly 13-see next section). 12 - 5 = 7 years old. 

Age = 12 ⇒ Jounin Promotion and Obito’s ‘death’ 

Inferred from Obito’s age during Kakashi Gaiden

Obito and Kakashi are around the same age. I realize 13 ≠ 12, but look at their birthdays. Obito would turn 13 in February, 7 months before Kakashi. Given the amount of time Obito would need to recover before Rin’s death, it seems plausible to assume his ‘death’ happened before Kakashi turned 13. This also allows more time for him to master his new abilities before the Kyuubi attack. Unfortunately, it is never specifically stated how long Obito remains in Madara’s lair before he first leaves it. 

Age = 13 ⇒ Rin’s Death 

Rin’s death occurred sometime after Obito’s ‘death,’ but some months before the Kyuubi attack. Kakashi may have been 12 years old at this time, but, once again allowing for Obito’s recovery time, it’s unlikely Kakashi was still 12. It is also impossible for Kakashi to have been 14 at this time. Kakashi was assigned to guard Kushina during her pregnancy due to his ruthlessness in ANBU. Kushina’s pregnancy lasted 10 months, with it beginning in January. Kakashi was still 13 at this time.

Age = 13 ⇒ Joins ANBU 

See above. 

Age = 14 ⇒ Kyuubi Attack and Minato and Kushina’s Deaths 

Naruto is 12 at the start of the series; Kakashi is 26.

26 - 12 = 14 years old at the time of the Kyuubi attack. 

Now, I know what you’re thinking. “What about the arc that shows Kakashi competing in the Chunin exams at the same time as Rin and Obito?”

The problem with Kakashi’s timeline comes from chapter 599. In this same chapter, page 7, Obito is shown in the flashback telling Rin he wants to become Hokage.

You see the Fourth’s face on the mountain there? Yeah, he wasn’t Hokage yet. Two pages earlier it shows him walking with the current Hokage, the Third. The mistake was pointed out to Kishi, and a fixed version was later issued. The point of this chapter, titled “Obito Uchiha,” was to show Obito and his ‘rivalry’ with Kakashi. It seems Kishi focused on developing Obito’s background and just didn’t think to check that he was keeping in line with Kakashi’s timeline also. If you throw out this arc, Kakashi’s timeline pretty much works out. Here’s the same shot, but fixed in the anime.

I plan to do part two later. Let me know if something doesn’t add up or I left out a source. Hope this clears up part of the confusion around Kakashi’s timeline.

Sources: 

http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Kakashi_Hatake http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Naruto_Uzumaki http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Minato_Namikaze http://naruto.wikia.com/wiki/Obito_Uchiha http://www.mangapanda.com/naruto/240/18 http://www.anime-planet.com/anime/naruto-shippuden/videos/27247

also this genre of kakashi

a story about a god and his soulmate

Full story is 40+ pgs long and free to read on my itch.io!

The fact that I am intrigued with this ship is just, WOW

pop quiz

this is my gift to nekomancer for @the-kakashi-lounge-blog holiday exchange!!

ao3

wc: 3.2k

summary: kabuto wakes up in the hospital and kakashi is there for him. kakashi x kabuto established relationship as adults

tw: hospital, blood mention, mention of injuries, memory loss

Everything hurt. Every inch, every fiber of his being, hurt. His eyes stung as his vision transitioned from fuzzy black to vague red, only to be cursed by blinding white. He groaned, moving to lay his arm over his face to protect against this undetermined threat. Then he attempted to open his eyes again to find the results exactly the same as the previous test. Had he not changed the variable?

He felt out his right arm, noting each chakra node as he sensed down from his shoulder. The stretch intensified the ache, then allowed some relief after a moment. Gradually, he wiggled his fingers. He was pleased to feel them follow direction. He continued with a wrist rotation. Satisfied with that range of movement, he advanced to checking the bend of his elbow. It appeared to flex correctly. Excellent. Finally, the shoulder. Thankfully, it responded, and he was able to block the light from streaming into his eyes as he began the arduous process of opening them.

After two or three minutes of this, he was successfully able to take in visual cues. Ceiling tiles. So he was inside. Fluorescent lighting. Inside a government-funded building. Primarily white, with metal accents. Hospital. Delightful.

In the corner of the room, someone snored.

He took a moment to take in as much of the room as he could before moving, to give himself as much knowledge as possible before possibly alerting this person to his consciousness. There was no way to know how safe he was with this person, and they likely had the home advantage of entering the space while awake. Once he had memorized the layout of the room and found three weapons within reach, he began the process of sitting up to get a look at his companion.

The man in the corner looked rough. His clothes were torn and dirty, stained with what was likely blood that had now dried and was flaking off. There was a layer of dried sweat clinging against his skin as tightly as the fabric that covered his lower face. His hair had a clump of mud in it and laid in every direction except down. His forehead protector was pulled down over one eye, a Leaf village insignia carved into the metal. Fairly standard shinobi post-mission aesthetic, honestly. The only thing that stood out was the well-worn orange novel held loosely in his hand. The back cover had the required content warning symbol embossed in red, marking it a pornographic book. Given the angle it currently laid at, as well as the shinobi’s chin drifting slowly toward his chest, it was clear that he had fallen asleep while reading it.

Who on earth falls asleep reading porn in a hospital room?

Someone in the hallway passed by the open door, stopping for a double-take when they noticed him sitting up in bed. “Dr. Haruno! He’s—”

Before they could finish their thought, a flash of pink darted around their frame and approached him with one hand glowing a muted pistachio green. The doctor hovered her hand over his body, running along its entire surface with a concentration on his chest and head. This went on in silence for nearly thirty seconds before she took a step back.

“Welcome back to the land of the living, glasses.” She snapped, then reached for the bedside table and handed him a bundle of wire and glass. “Suppose I can’t call you glasses ‘till you’ve got these on, though.”

He analyzed them in his hands, realizing the pieces were folded together. He kept his movements smooth to cover the uncertainty as he unfolded the contraption. Muscle memory took over and he flipped them around, bringing them up to his face and slotting them over his ears. Suddenly the pink blur became a person, and the snoring man became significantly more exhausted.

She reached for a clipboard and sat down. “How are you feeling?”

He took a moment, considered the dull ache registered by each nerve ending, and replied. “My third chakra node in my left foot is considerably damaged. Two of the nodes near my ribs are also in bad shape, though the rib itself may be broken and that could explain it. My head is throbbing, my mouth is dry, and I’m experiencing sensitivity to light. What am I looking at, chakra exhaustion?”

She nodded, making quick notes with her tongue tucked beneath her teeth. “Yeah, you presented with acute chakra exhaustion, though not a severe case. We were much more concerned with the abdominal bleeding, caused by several broken ribs. One of them is still on the mend. There’s only so much healing a body can take at once, you know how it is. A couple more sessions and that’ll be fixed.” Finished scribbling, she slapped the pen against the clipboard. “Your biggest concern was the head injury, though. That’s what we’ve been focused on. It’s great to see you awake.”

He shifted, struggling to push himself into a better sitting position. “How long have I been out?”

She leaned forward to help him into a more comfortable spot. “Four days. Well, three and some change.”

“And has he,” he nodded toward the sleeping nin, “been here the whole time?”

Something in the woman’s expression softened and her eyes filled with pain and something else he didn’t understand. “He has, yeah. He refused to leave your side, even if someone else promised to take over for him.” She cleared her throat, the mist over her eyes fading, replaced by a glimmer. “He insisted on being here when you woke up, and now he’s sleeping. Even without leaving the room, he’s still late to everything important,” she chuckled.

“He seems very…dedicated,” he murmured.

She grinned. “Yeah, he’s dedicated to two things: you and that stupid book.” She stood up, moving silently as she approached the man in the mask. Delicately, she stretched her hand out, reaching for the novel. As soon as her fingertips grazed the off-white pages, the book slammed shut and she jumped back.

“Not on your life, Sakura,” the man yawned, sliding the book into a pocket of his vest. After shaking off the rest he clearly needed, he turned toward the bed and froze. “Kabuto?”

He felt a tug of familiarity and nodded, throat suddenly dry. “It’s me.”

The shinobi was by him in a second, arms wrapped gingerly around his torso, squeezing as tight as they dared with a broken rib, and one hand lost itself in his hair. The man’s face was buried in his neck, and he smelled comforting. Kabuto found himself returning the hug, gripping onto the fabric of the military-issued vest. After a tense moment, the two separated.

“How are you? Are you okay? I didn’t—I couldn’t—I’m so sorry, Kabuto, I—”

Sakura pushed his chair directly next to his bed and guided the man into it. “Kakashi, deep breaths, everything’s going to be fine. Don’t make me admit you for a panic attack.”

Kakashi. Why was that so significant?

Kakashi cleared his throat, shaking his head and settling back into the chair. “I know, I just—” he took his hand, entwining his left fingers around Kabuto’s right to clasp them together. “I’m sorry I couldn’t prevent this from happening to you. I knew the mission was too dangerous for you to go alone, but you wouldn’t let me go with you.”

“I don’t know why I would refuse your help,” Kabuto said, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb across Kakashi’s hand. “You seem fairly capable.”

Sakura nodded. “He is when he keeps his nose out of that book.”

His gaze shifted down, watching his thumb reassure the shinobi next to him as if he had done it before. The soldier’s hands were calloused, but not dry or rough, and his fingernails were trimmed short. He wore a plain band, black, embossed with a diamond grid pattern, on his ring finger. It glinted dully, as if he had been wearing it for some time now.

Kakashi noticed his interest in their hands together and brought his other hand to wrap around Kabuto’s. He squeezed his hand, imparting some kind of meaning, then reached over to the bedside table where the glasses had been, and picked up something small and silver. Delicately, he took Kabuto’s left hand and slid the ring onto his fourth finger. It fit perfectly, and it sported a matching grid pattern and similar level of wear.

Ah.

“I was starting to worry you wouldn’t wake up,” Kakashi murmured. “I don’t know what I would’ve done without you.”

Kabuto bit back a bitterness that was rising in his throat. “You may have to find out.”

He gripped his hand tighter, shaking his head. “You’re going to be fine, Kabu. Sakura and the medical team have been working on you every day. You’re gonna come home any day now, right?”

Sakura, this time, did not nod. She made eye contact with Kabuto and reached out for her clipboard, making a note. Raising a flashlight, she stepped toward the bed.

“Go ahead and follow this light with just your eyes, please…” She moved it in lines, up and down and side to side. “Excellent. Now, can you tell me how old you are?”

Kabuto opened his mouth, ready to answer, but no words came. Sakura’s forehead crinkled, and she continued. “That’s okay. Can you tell me what year it is?”

His response was the same.

“What about who the Hokage is?”

Kakashi looked back and forth at them in confusion. “Kabuto, what’s going on? Just answer her, it’s simple.”

Kabuto cleared his throat. “I know that the first Hokage was Hashirama Senju. I know that my favorite color is purple. I know that your name is Sakura Haruno.”

“And my name?”

He swallowed, staring straight ahead. “I believe she called you Kakashi.”

The hand holding his grew cold, but the grip did not relinquish. “Kabuto. What’s my last name?”

They sat together in a painful, tense silence that grew worse with every passing second. Finally, Kabuto answered, “The same as mine, I think. But I don’t remember what that is.”

Before Kakashi could reply, Sakura jumped in. “Sometimes that happens with head injuries. It just takes a moment to remember silly things, but a lot of the time the memory comes back within an hour of waking up.”

Kakashi became stiff, his shoulders rigid and his face unreadable. “You said ‘a lot of the time’. Give me a number.”

Sakura flipped through pages on the clipboard, beginning an elaborately vague answer. Kakashi grabbed the thin piece of plastic, holding on to the metal clip at the top as if clinging to his own life. “Sakura. That’s my husband in this bed. We’ve been together for the better part of a decade. One more time—give me a number.”

She looked over Kabuto, then locked eyes with Kakashi, transitioning from friend to doctor. “Forty percent of patients. Thirty percent see memory restoration in the first twenty-four hours. Twenty within two weeks.”

Kabuto looked up, the light glinting off his glasses. “And the other ten percent?”

She swallowed and hardened her stance. “The remaining ten percent are unlikely to recall lost memories at all. And that’s further complicated in patients with a prior history of amnesia.”

The look on Kakashi’s face made it clear that he apparently had a history of amnesia.

“But we’re not concerned about that right now, okay? You’ve only been awake half an hour. Give it time, don’t stress out about it, and we’ll see what happens.” Sakura turned toward the door. “I’ll be back this afternoon for another round of healing on that rib. We’ll assess your memory then if you’d like. Sound good?”

Kabuto nodded, feeling strangely distant. “Sounds great, Dr. Haruno.”

With that, she left the room and took the only thing preventing sadness and awkward silence from setting in with her. Kabuto fidgeted with his blanket, noting the scratchy texture and trying to decide if it was nice, or familiar, or if other blankets felt different. He was pretty sure they could be softer. The one in his home was softer. And grey, he thought.

“Shuriken print?”

Kakashi looked up, startled by the intrusion to the silence. “Sorry?”

Kabuto raised a fistful of fabric up. “The blanket in the house. It’s grey with shuriken all over it, right?”

Kakashi’s face lit up, and he leaned forward. “It is, yeah! You chose the sheets; they have little beakers and test tubes all over them. The dogs hate them.”

“We have dogs?”

The light dimmed a bit, but the resiliency powered on. “We do. Kind of a lot, actually. They’re summons, though, so they’re not all in the house all the time. They don’t love your experiments—something about the smells—so they leave your lab alone, but there’s usually one or two in the house at any time. I think they’re all away now, though. They don’t like the apartment when it’s empty.”

Kabuto, on instinct, brought a hand up to Kakashi’s face. “You should go home. Take a shower, get something to eat.” His hand drifted into the mess of silver hair, then retreated back to his side. “You’re tired, Kakashi. I’m okay. I’ll be here when you get back.”

He shook his head, tucking his chin down to his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. Especially not now that you’re awake.”

They sat again in a silence for a few moments.

“Do you want a hair tie?”

It was Kabuto’s turn to be startled. “Sorry?

Kakashi pulled a thin black elastic band off of his wrist and offered it to him. “Your hair. You normally wear it pulled back in a ponytail. You say it helps you focus better if your hair isn’t touching your face, but I think you just don’t like styling it in the mornings.”

Slowly, Kabuto took the band and flexed his fingers against it, testing the stretch. After a moment, he raked his hands through his hair, pulling the silver strands up into a high ponytail. He fumbled with the elastic, unsure how tight to wrap it.

It was clear Kakashi was smiling beneath his mask. “Is that… Is that what feels natural to you?”

Kabuto felt the silliness but couldn’t pinpoint what was wrong. “Not exactly… Do I normally have a mirror?”

He nodded. “You do, yes. Do you want me to try and find one here?”

The tie snapped, stinging against Kabuto’s fingertips and landing on the floor. He swore using a swear word he hadn’t known before hearing it in his own voice, and Kakashi bit back a laugh. Kabuto sighed, leaning back. “No, you don’t need to do that.” Kakashi seemed satisfied with that, and pushed up his sleeve to find another hair band, this one purple. When he offered that up, Kabuto hesitated. “Can you show me how I do it?”

“Yeah, of course.” For a second, he leaned forward as if he were going to put it on Kabuto himself, but only adjusted the way he was sitting so he could have a better view. Painstakingly, he finger-combed through the thick locks of dirty hair that refused to obey gravity, organizing them one by one to lay flat against his head, pinning them against his skull with the palm of his hand as he went. Slowly, he gathered it all at the base of his neck, looping the hair tie around the bundle twice to knot it at his nape. The resulting ponytail was short and aggressively bristled, but present.

“Thank you.” Kabuto admired the effort that went into the demonstration. “You look handsome like this.”

Kakashi smiled, but there was no light in his eyes. “Thanks. I’ve tried a couple times to actually wear my hair like this, but every time I look in the mirror, I see my dad, and then I have to take it out immediately.” He shrugged. “You know how it is.” He paused, taking stock of the situation and Kabuto’s non-reaction. “I guess you don’t know, actually. It’s not important.” He slipped the elastic band off, freeing his hair and fluffing it back into place. “Ponytails are not for me. You, however, don’t look like yourself without one.”

Kabuto took a moment, ruminating on Kakashi’s words while he began the process of pulling his own hair back behind his head. For some reason, his muscles refused to remind him how this felt without a mirror to check his work in. Finally he gave in and turned to face his spouse.

“Would you mind helping me?”

Kakashi blinked several times in a row, then nodded, taking the hair tie and standing up. “Lean forward a little?” As Kabuto did, he stepped behind him and began running his fingers through his hair.

It felt normal. The sensation of this shinobi’s hands on his head, so close to so many vital and vulnerable places on his body was not frightening. Even if he couldn’t remember who this was, he knew in his heart that he trusted him with his life. This tiny act felt familiar, and comfortable, and warm.

All too quickly, the hair was gathered and Kakashi wrapped the purple band around it. “You normally do it three times. Four if the hair tie is stretched out. And then you kind of pull your hair like this—”

Kabuto’s hands went up to meet Kakashi’s, and together they tightened the ponytail. There were fireworks dancing in their fingertips, and they released the hair at the same time, letting it fall against his back. Kakashi returned to his seat by the bed, and Kabuto took his hand again.

“It feels right. This—this feels right, Kakashi.”

He smiled again beneath the mask, eyes glinting. “Good.”

His eye caught Kakashi’s wedding band, and he ran his finger over the engraving, focusing on it. It was there, just on the edge of his mind, what was the word—

“Hatake!”

Immediately, with deeply ingrained instinct, he replied “I didn’t do it.”

They both laughed, holding each other tenderly.

“Your name. Kakashi Hatake. This is your family crest?”

“Our family crest, yes.” He traced his finger over Kabuto’s ring.

“Something about seeing it, that helped. I think visuals are going to help me remember,” Kabuto said.

Kakashi appeared to make that a mental note, and started to list off things that might help bring back memories. In his vest and pockets, he had the Icha Icha book, some weapons, a photo of the two of them together printed on the same near-indestructible material that Kabuto used for his—

“Kabuto. I’ve got it.”

“You’ve got what?”

“I can’t believe I’m so stupid. I’ve been making fun of you for years, and you were right. You were completely,” he stood up, reaching for his shoes and slipping them on, “and utterly right, every minute of the way.”

“Kakashi? Care to let me in on the secret?”

He leaned down, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve been writing these shinobi skill cards. They’re flash cards for your entire life. You made them with this special jutsu paper so they’re really sturdy, and they require your chakra signature to be read, and you have literally a thousand of them, if not more.” He cupped his hand around his jaw, thumb gently gliding along his cheekbone. “Kabuto. You made the cheat sheet for your entire life.”