[Doomsday - SKZ Bang Chan X M!Reader]

Trapped - Evan Buckley x reader

Evan Buckley is distracted. He can't feel anything, and that's probably a bad thing, considering he is being crushed by a block of cement, but that's not really registering in his brain right now. His focus remains on you, a few meters away and in a similar situation. The underground carpark is dark, and the level above has caved in, leaving you both trapped under the broken pieces. Buck can taste his blood on his lips. It's sharp and metallic, but right now, the only blood he's worried about is yours. "Hey, can you hear me?" He calls out to you and gets nothing in return. He calls your name once, twice, and again, he's met with silence. It's the worst kind of quiet. The horrific kind where you're left to wonder if you're alone.

Buck pushes against the slab that is holding him down and tries to pull himself out from underneath it with an agonizing cry. His scream of pain as he tries to get to you is enough to stun you awake from whatever hard hits you took, and you groan as the weight of your situation, and the pillar of concrete on top of you, settles in.

"Hey, hey, are you awake? Are you still with me?" It's Buck, stilling his movements at the sound of you across from him.

You close your eyes, trying to keep out the dust and debris, nodding. "Yeah, I'm with you, Buckley."

"Oh, thank God, I thought you were dead." He's abrupt, but it adds a sort of humor to the horrifying situation you're in.

"Not quite there yet, though it looks under we are six feet under something."

You can't move much other than your arms, and that isn't the most ideal situation to be in. Buck, on the other hand, seems to have found a superhuman energy, as he tries once more to push away the things holding him down. He cries out, and you wince at the sound, though you do hope someone else can hear it.

"Can anyone hear us? We're down here!" You shout, though it's not as loud as you would have hoped it to be. Buck joins you seconds later, calling out the names of your team members.

"Bobby!" Buck's voice carries far more than yours and you're grateful for it as the pain starts to set in. It gets harder to catch your breath as the seconds pass.

"How bad is it?" You can't help but ask, nodding faintly towards what lies on top of you.

Buck looks over, and his chest aches as he assesses the damage, though he isn't sure yet if that's just out of empathy for you or something untreated of his own. He can't bring himself to respond as he takes in the sight of you pinned underneath something so large and seemingly unmoveable. He can see blood seeping out from underneath the pillar, where your legs are probably not in good shape.

"It's not great, is it?" You try for a smile, but the tears falling down your dust covered face tell a different story to your lips.

"It's not as bad as it could be." Buck tries for an optimistic approach, one that he hopes will make you feel better.

"How bad am I?" He asks you in return, though he knows the extent of his injuries won't match yours.

You make an attempt at coughing, wincing at the struggled movement before you answer. "It's not as bad as it could be." There's much more honesty to your version of the statement.

"You wanna try and get out of here?" Buck is grinning at you but the fear in his eyes can't be hidden by anything.

You nod at him. You know there's little hope for you, but you have to let him try. "Yeah, Buckley. Let's get out of here."

-

Reblogs and comments are appreciated!!

[Not yours but, mine - SKZ HyunJin X M!Reader] [NSFW]

‼️Trigger warnings: Abuse, Homophobic Parents ‼️

“Hi, will you go to prom with me now?”

M/N felt his eyes twitched in annoyance. This was the thirteenth time, yes, M/N counted, where the ‘hot’ boy of JYP College repeatedly asked him to go to the prom and it has been going on for almost a month now. Without fail, Hwang HyunJin, the prince of JYP College, would randomly show up out of nowhere and asked him the same question over and over again.

“M/N,” HyunJin pouted as he took M/N forearm, randomly tracing over the tattoos, the latter had. “I really like you.”

“No.” M/N simply said as he gently pulled his arm away, packing his things.

“Pretty please?” This time, HyunJin batted his eyelids so fast that M/N thought it would fly off.

“No,” again, the same answer. M/N took a last glance over to the dejected pretty boy before walking out the door of the class.

Class ended an hour ago but, M/N had stayed back to complete some overdue assignments. The moment, M/N found himself alone in the usually crowded hallways of the building, his cheeks grew warmth as he bit his lips to stifle a squeal that threatened to echo.

‘He’s cute. He’s so fucking cute. He’s making me fall for him even more every second,” M/N thought to himself.

“Hyungggggg what got you blushing?” SeungMin had surprised the latter by jumping onto his back, thankfully, M/N reflexes were fast. “Is it him?”

“Yeah,” M/N bashfully admitted.

It was not like M/N hated HyunJin. Instead, he was deeply in love with the latter. They had been friends since kindergarten, since diapers. Even though, they didn’t typically grew up together, M/N always has eyes for the prince . He was not only beautiful but, HyunJin is benevolent, wonderful, courageous and the list never ends. HyunJin was like the bloomed flower that never withered despite the storm that bash them.

M/N on the other hand didn’t consider himself as beautiful as HyunJin. He knew he looked decent, he knew that but, he was not particularly sure of how people describe him to be. He has tattoos because he love the way each and every ink piece represents a part of his life, he love the piercings stapled in him because it reminded him of the pain he went through from time to time. M/N didn’t come from a perfect family, he had went through blood, sweat, tears to where he was standing right now. M/N knew he was the total opposite of HyunJin. Hence, the reason why he didn’t responded or react to the prince confession/invite.

“You still did not accept his invitation? It’s been a year.” SeungMin exaggerates. “Tell me, how many time had he actually asked you the same question over and over again.”

M/N nonchalantly shrugged before, sitting down on his bed, responding to the younger questions, “3,457 time to be exact.”

“Woah Bro, you are heads over heel for that man.”

“I am but, nah, I should just dream on. HyunJin is way out of my league.”

“Really?” SeungMin deadpanned, rolling his eyes so hard M/N thought he could see his own brain, “how long have you known him again?”

“15 years, minus the years I was not in Korea.” M/N said.

“Do the math, you are smitten by a pretty boy who you’ve known for almost your whole lifetime.” SeungMin said, “when exactly are you going to actually accept his promposal?”

“Not anytime soon, I don’t think I would even go to prom.” M/N replied.

4 days, 4 days to prom and M/N felt something ache in his heart. Something was not right. Something was indefinitely wrong. Hwang HyunJin was not approaching him as often as he used to. Usually, the prince would approach him for an average of at least 10 time a day. He would sneak to the tattooed latter whenever he sees the opportunity to. This time, M/N begins to look for him. He would intentionally sit at one spot, hoping the prince would come to him but, to no avail, for the first time for the year, not even a single sight of the pretty boy was seen.

“Help me.” M/N look dead in SeungMin’s eyes, causing shiver down the younger spine.

“If you stop killing me through your stares, I would.” SeungMin replied.

“Sorry,” a dejected sigh left his lips, “please go to HyunJin’s house. Check on him.”

SeungMin looked at him bewildered, “are you insane? What is wrong with you? You want me to go to HyunJin’s? Bro, I don’t even know where he lives. You do so, you go.”

That was how M/N found himself outside of the terrace, debating whether he should knock on the wooden doors of it. He had stood there for almost half an hour now.

“M/N?”

M/N turn to the call of his name. He gasped inaudibly at the sight of the man standing upon him. HyunJin was dressed in his sweats, his hood was on, covering his face. M/N thanked god for his good eyesight because he was quick to peek into the prince’s face. A right eye was bruised badly, there was a cut on the corner of his lips and his cheek welted with a mixture of purple and blue.

“HyunJin.” M/N called out, reaching out to caress the injured one. HyunJin quickly looked away from the other making him retract his hand,“Hwang HyunJin, who did this to you?”

“It’s none of your business.” HyunJin whispered, “get out of here. What are you even doing here?”

“Hwang HyunJin, who is hurting you?!” From the corner of his eyes, the prince could see rage in M/N’s eyes.

“Son, who could this be?” M/N could see the fear in HyunJin as a man came up behind him, linking an arm around his shoulder. He recognise the older man, he is HyunJin’s father.

“Dad, t-this, this is M/N, a classmate of mine.” The prince stammered, “he came by to pass some homework.”

“Well, that better be it. I don’t another one to take care of.” The man said and M/N snapped.

“What do you mean Sir, another one to take care of?” M/N asked.

The man smirked, “it’s really none of you business boy. Now, better leave. Our pretty little boy here has some job to do.” M/N could see the plead in HyunJin’s eyes when the man gripped his shoulder, pulling him towards the door of the entrance. “Now, my Hyunjinnie, say goodbye to your friend.”

“B—bye,”

M/N kisses his teeth in frustration, “if I may sir,” he grabbed the man arm, removing it from HyunJin’s shoulder, “I would like to bring him out for some coffee. We will be back soon.” It happened in seconds when M/N had pulled HyunJin out of the man’s embrace and into his.

“You can’t. I would not allow my pretty boy to go out with a delinquent like you. Besides, he knows what he’ll get for doing that. He’s mine.” The father said, death staring into HyunJin.

The prince looked down to the ground, unable to speak.

“Not yours, mine. By the looks of it, he doesn’t mind going out with him and could you possibly do to him, abuse him, even more.” Something in M/N’s word triggered the man. The father threw a punch to his direction. M/N was quick to dodge it, sending a kick to the man’s leg instead before grabbing HyunJin’s hands and ran. They ran as fast as their feet could bring them to. M/N couldn’t think of any other place than his apartment. Once they entered, M/N locked the doors, leading the prince over to his couch.

It was awkward. The tension was so high that a touch to it would snap the string. HyunJin quietly watch as M/N put down his bag, walking to the kitchen, rummaging through the cabinet just to pull out a first aid kit box. M/N went over to him, pulling a chair right in front of him.

“Hood off.” M/N said. His voice wasn’t exactly stern but, it was gentle and soft. HyunJin winces now and then as M/N applied some ointment to his face.

“Hi, will you go to prom with me now?” HyunJin chuckled, just like every other day when he would ask the tattooed boy.

“Seriously?” M/N frowned.

“Will you go to prom with me? It’ll be in 4 days and I don’t exactly have a date yet. My only supposedly date keeps on rejecting me.” HyunJin begin ranting, “I really like him. He is so good looking and mysterious even though he wouldn’t re—-,”

“Stop,” M/N intervened, “stop being a sunshine even though you’re going through so much. It’s okay to not be okay. You can cry it out.”

As if M/N could see right through him, HyunJin couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. He broke down so hard that M/N pulled him to cry on his chest, holding him tight as if assuring that everything was going to be alright. It took a while but M/N didn’t mind. He waited until HyunJin had cried his heart out even though it took close to three hours, exhaustion taking over the pretty boy making him fall asleep on the tattooed one.

“Food?” M/N offered when he realise that the pretty boy had finally woke up from his nap. It was close to midnight.

“Iced americano.” HyunJin responded.

“Ok.” M/N ordered some snacks alongside with HyunJin’s order on his phone. “Do you feel comfortable to tell me what is going on?”

“Only if you go to prom with me.” Again, the same question.

“Deal.” M/N said. HyunJin was going to ask him the same question when he realise M/N has finally responded to him. He couldn’t believe his ears, making him jolt up from M/N’s chest to look at the latter.

“Are you serious? You…. You finally agreed to be my date?!”

M/N couldn’t stop the smile that widen on his face as he almost cooed at how cute the pretty boy was, “yes, I agree to go to prom with you. I have been dying to say yes to you but, I didn’t because I thought you were out of my league, you still are. You’re too beautiful for a decent man like me.”

“Are you kidding me? How you look, how you dress doesn’t matter to me. It’s….it’s who you are.” HyunJin blushed, pulling out a necklace hidden under his sweater, “do you think I would forget about you? I thought you forgot about me!”

M/N couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw the necklace. It was the one he gave the other on his 9th birthday in school. It was weird to gift someone something on their own birthday but, M/N did it anyway. He remembered shoving the box to HyunJin without a word and going back to his seat to devour the cake.

“You still have it?”

“Of course I do. I am in love with you since we were kids until to this very second. I thought you hated me when you left this country a year ago. I thought you hated me for annoying you all the time because you wouldn’t say anything else but a ‘no’. Then you came back, I took a shot because I didn’t want to lose you!” HyunJin explained.

M/N felt his heart warmth as he pulled the other into his embrace, planting a soft kiss to the latter’s crown, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry for hurting you in every possible ways but, I have been in love with you since we were kids. I have always adored you, wanting you all by myself. The…the reason why I left Korea wasn’t because of you, it was because of my parents. They abused me for being bisexual and when I… I saw how your father treated you, I was not going to let you experienced what I’ve gone through.”

“H…how did you know?”

“The bruises, the ‘possessiveness’ of him said everything because that was exactly what my father did to me. How long had this been going on?”

“Just a week ago,” HyunJin admitted, “I came out to him about being gay and he snapped. He yelled and screamed about how useless I was but, he didn’t exactly hit me, not until last night when he barged into my room and he just, blasted.” M/N could hear the trembles in the latter’s voice. He gently held the other’s shoulder, giving him a squeeze of reassurance.

“I know this will be hard to hear and do, but, we can’t let it happen again. We need to report to the authority about the abuse.”

“But,” HyunJin let a sniffle, “I’m not ready to face this world alone.”

“You won’t be alone, I’m with you. I promise till death do us part, I will be with you.” M/N gently cups the pretty boy’s face, glancing to his lips, “may I?” HyunJin smiled and nodded.

Their lips met. Their bodies pressed together heatedly against the couch, breathing heavily as their lips danced together. M/N could taste their shared breath, feel the thud of their combined heartbeat as they fumbled to take off one another’s clothes. His lips were soft, almost silken, and pillowy against his own.

“A—-ahh,” HyunJin let out a moan as their clothed members grinned against each other. M/N effortlessly lifted the prince so that he was hovering the other instead. “M/N, it’s…..it’s my first time.” The prince admitted, flushing.

“Don’t worry, I won’t do much until you’re ready, I’m going to just jerk us off.” M/N chuckled, planting a kiss to HyunJin’s swollen lips. The pretty boy was a mess from the kiss, writhing under the tattooed one. “Will you be alright?”

“Yes. Make me feel good.” HyunJin cried softly as M/N took his members in his large hands, caressing it in a slow motion. “M/N,” he breathed, “have I ever told you that I’m so in love with you?”

“So do i. I love you, so fucking much.” M/N whispered, looking deeply into HyunJin’s brown orbs. He linked their lips again, feeling the euphoria spark in him. HyunJin was his, finally. The two reached their highs, cum onto their chests, breathing heavily.

“Will you go to prom with me?” HyunJin chuckled after a couple of minutes they calm down.

“Will you be mine?” M/N asked, a grin on his face.

“You’re mine.”

“Not yours but, mine.” M/N claimed as they shared another kiss before the doorbell to apartment rang breaking their moment.

[The Last Wish] [SKZ Han JiSung x SKZ Lee MinHo]

The Sequel

‼️Breaking News! JYP Entertainment announces the passing of our beloved F/N M/N‼️

A week after M/N’s passing and a small funeral ceremony, only dedicated for close family and friends, the news was finally disclosed. Everyone was shocked and dismayed. Some even speculated that M/N had committed suicide because of the break up he had went through and Han JiSung was put under the bus.

SKZ went into hiatus immediately mainly because of two reasons. M/N was their closest friend, family member and they needed to mourn indefinitely to where their heart would take them. M/N was with them since the start and there was no way he could be forgotten in any way. To SKZ, M/N was their advisor, the parent of the group, a significant being who had always been there for them.

It was a day after the funeral ceremony when Chan had told Lee Know to meet him at the late’s M/N studio. Lee Know obeyed and went over to the studio. When he entered, Chan was sitting on the chair, staring onto the computer’s blank screen, tears streaming down his tears albeit the emotionless expression. Lee Know closed the doors behind him and went over to the leader. He was about to invite himself onto the chair next to the leader only to have the leader standing up and punching him across his face. 

Lee Know stumbled to the floor at the forceful blow, immensely taken aback. Chan had his fist clenched tightly still even after the punch; his breathing was heavy as he finally let out a cry. Lee Know knew that he deserved the punch. The only possible reason could be maybe Chan knew something. 

“He told me not to punch you or hurt you but, i can’t help it!” Chan yelled in frustration, falling onto the couch and he cried harder. 

Lee Know gathered himself before cautiously taking a seat beside the leader. He wraps an arm over his shoulder, comforting the older. It took a while for the leader to calm down and once he did, he mutely gave the dancer a black book. The two spent the next five minutes staring from the book to each other than back to the book. 

“I knew what had happened. I knew you and JiSung are in a relationship prior to their breakup. M/N told me everything. First of all, I’m sorry i punched you because i am very sure you know why and now, i happen to break one of M/N’s promise.” Chan sighed, “I can’t help it. If JiSung was here, i would punch him too, honestly.” 

A light chuckle left Chan’s lips as he finally calmed down, “the day M/N told you to bring JiSung to the training room was supposed to be the day M/N propose to JiSung. M/N saw you guys kissing, that was why he did not appear in the training room. He told me that he did not realise that 6 hours pass by just like that as he locked himself in this very studio. M/N was punished with the hanahaki and he did not deserve it. For two months, M/N suffered with the disease. The doctors told us there was no hope left unless JiSung would fall back in love with him or have a surgery to get it removed with the consequence of not being able to feel anything. He chose not to do anything with JiSung anymore because he saw how happy he looked with you.”

Chan got up to take a black velvet ring box, “before he collapsed the other day, he gave me this. He said you would need it when it’s time for you to propose to JiSung.” Lee Know took the ring box, opening to see a shiny diamond ring with JiSung’s name engraved on it. “Please tell Lee Know to take care of JiSung, make him happy. That was M/N’s last words to me before he was wheeled into the emergency room. So, it’s all in your hand now. The book is for you and JiSung. I hope you could fulfil M/N’s last wish.”

********

Han JiSung found himself in the tub, filled with white petals as tears stream down his cheeks. He had been unwell ever since M/N’s passing and discovering about the Hanahaki disease he know had was just an unfortunate bonus. Han JiSung could not stop thinking of his late ex boyfriend. Everything seems to have crash down on him.

“Sungie~, are you okay in there?”

JiSung panicked upon the voice, he cleared his throat, croaking out a reply as he gathered all the petals, throwing them into the toilet bowl, “I….I’ll be out in a minute.” He felt the regret as he flushed down the system. He washed his face before going out of the washroom, meeting Lee Know. He screened the latter’s face, seeing a forming bruise on his left cheek. “Your face…. What happened?”

“Nothing much. Are you okay? It’s almost two weeks you’ve been throwing up and coughing. I think we should see the doctors.” Lee Know said.

JiSung shook his head subtly before making his way over to their bed. He could see a black book on it. Curiosity had him. JiSung picked up the book, turning to the dancer, “what is this?”

“This belonged to M/N. We should read them together.”

JiSung could feel the ache in him as he plopped down on the bed, the book on his lap. His hands trembled as tears, once again made their way down his cheeks. Lee Know sat next to him, putting an arm around his shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze as he opens the book.

‘As I laid eyes on you, the world stopped. You stood there, grinning as Chan introduced me to all of you but, out of all of you guys, only you, Han JiSung caught my eyes.’

‘I joined in the practice today because I was suppose to help Chan after the practice on song writings but, he had something to do urgently. So instead, I stayed back with you in the training room and we had our first ball dance after we joked about High School Musical. It was euphoria as I felt my heart sparks into fireworks when I held your hand.’

‘I realise I started to like you. I like the way you smile, I like the way you are passionate about your career, I like the way you persevere in everything and there is so more to it that I swear I can write a 10 series book about it. I think I might just love you.’

‘You had a breakdown from the recent dance practice. It keeps getting harder and you were exhausted. You begged to be held and I held you in my arms, assuring you softly.’

‘I finally decided that I am in love with you and today just happened that I confessed to you. You accepted my confession and I cannot describe how happy I am. I love you, to eternity and beyond.’

JiSung sniffled as Lee Know gave him a cup of tea. They had decided to take a pause from reading the black book once owned by M/N. Lee Know could feel the tremble from the rapper as he sat next to him.

“Let’s stop for the night and continue tomorrow. Let’s get you to bed, you need the rest please.” Lee Know told the rapper as he placed the black book onto the nightstand, pulling JiSung to bed.

JiSung followed the latter as they tugged themselves under the covers. The rapper shifted closer to the dancer until his back met his chest. He felt Lee Know’s arm around his waist , giving him a tight comforting hug. JiSung sinks into his hold, letting a sob soft out. He felt the itch on his throat as he cries but, he knew he couldn’t cough. He shouldn’t cough because, a petal might just be out.

The next morning, JiSung forced himself out of bed, taking a warm shower and got ready. Lee Know was still fast asleep beside him and he doubt any of the member would be awake too. He grabbed his belongings and the black book on the night stand before tiptoeing out of the room. A sigh of relieve left his lips seeing no one in the living room. The rapper exited the dorm and made his way towards late M/N’s studio. He felt the tears accumulate in his eyes as he entered the studio.

“Hi love. If you’re somewhere up there watching me, I miss you, a lot.” JiSung mumbled to himself as he sat on the roller chair. He finally opened to where he last stop reading and continued.

Lee Know woke up in panic, feeling the empty space next to him. He jolted out of bed, running out the room, searching everywhere around the dorm but, failed to find none other than Han JiSung. He barged into the leader’s room, waking the latter up in the process. Lee Know became even more panic-stricken. He jumbled on his words, trying to croak out that JiSung was missing. Thankfully, The leader understood and got out of bed, waking the rest of the guys.

Lee Know ran as fast as his feet could bring just to everywhere he could think of JiSung could have gone. His mind went out of the line showing him pictures he didn’t wish to see. He was worried. Anything could happen to his lover and only god would know what. JiSung could be out there doing something deadly and even be dead by now. Lee Know stopped for a second, shaking his thoughts away. He took a deep breath in and calm himself down before making his way to that one place that happens to pop up in his mind.

The cemetery.

Lee Know thanked the world for showing him where JiSung was. He could finally breath as he walks over silently from behind to where the rapper was. The rapper sat cross legged in front of M/N’s tomb, the book still in his hand. Lee Know felt something wrong. He wasn’t facing the rapper but he just knew something was not right. As he nears the rapper, he could hear the soft sobs from the latter.

“Sungie~” Lee Know called out. JiSung jolted in shock as he turned to the voice and Lee Know gasped. JiSung had white petals all over him and a stream of blood ran down the corner of his lips.

Hanahaki

“I….I can explain.” JiSung stuttered.

“No,” Lee Know replied sternly, “there is nothing for you to explain. You’re coming with me.”

“I’m not going anywhere. Hyung, M/N had Hanahaki disease because of me. For two months, he suffered so let it be, let me be the one suffering this time. I deserve it.” JiSung cried.

“And then what? It’ll be my turn to suffer?” Lee Know yelled, out of the worrisome, “so one day you will pass on just like how M/N did and leave me alone? I love you JiSung and you know that. Trash around, hit me, curse at me all you want but, I’m taking you to the hospital. We’re getting the surgery.” The dancer swept JiSung off the ground and begin walking away from the tomb. JiSung trashed around like kid, hitting Lee Know wherever he could reach for. Lee Know felt his heart break hearing the cries grew softer and softer until JiSung finally gave in, lifelessly hanging on Lee Know’s shoulder.

It was pure silence as JiSung laid on the hospital bed and Lee Know sat right beside him. They had settled down in the hospital after registering for the Hanahaki removal surgery, only waiting for their turn to be called on.

“Sungie~, listen.” Lee Know sighed, “I’m sorry I’m forcing you to this but, please, I just need the best for you. I can’t afford to let you suffer with the hanahaki the way M/N did and I made a promise. I love you, Sungie but, please. This is your only chance to stay alive.”

“What’s the point of staying alive anymore? Hyung, I will lose the capability to love someone after the removal and do you really think you could make me love you?”

Without hesitation, the dancer answered, “yes and I swear to eternity and beyond that I will love you and I will make you fall for me one way or another.”

“Really?” JiSung’s eyes softened as he felt the sincere words from the dancer. Lee Know nodded and grabbed the rapper’s hand.

“M/N’s last wish is for me to take care of you and make sure you’ll be happy and I will make that happen. Han JiSung, I am going to propose to you to be my forever and always.” Lee Know opens the black velvet ring box, “this was the ring M/N wanted to give you. I assume you have read the book finish so you know what was supposedly going to happen. Even though it is not M/N who is proposing to you, I want you to think that it is. I will take care and love you for the rest of my life and M/N will be watching over us, always.” The dancer slips the ring into JiSung’s finger.

“To eternity and beyond of his last wish?” The rapper asked, tears streaming down his face.

“To eternity and beyond of his last wish.” Lee Know affirmed and hugged the other.

The sequel of Hanahaki is up, finally! Dedicated to my dearest reader. Here’s for you.

@v3n0mszn

[It is what it is; Part Two] - [SKZ Bang Chan X M!Reader]

Part One

‼️Trigger Warning(s) : Bullied, Abuse, Rape, Depression, Suicidal‼️

“Are you still hanged up over it?” Seo ChangBin questions the red headed as he tried to secretly glance over his roommate who sat at the corner of the classroom. “If you’re gonna appear every single time we end a period, you’re labelling yourself as a creep. It’s been a week.”

It has been a week.

A week since that night where Bang Chan couldn’t forget the tiny little tint of hurt flashing across M/N’s eyes. He didn’t go after M/N when he left the restaurant but, as he sat back down, a sense of guilt ambushed him, stabbing his heart that the pain was almost physical. Why? Why did he feel that way? This shouldn’t be hurting him, this should only hurt M/N so why was he hurt? M/N didn’t come back that night and Bang Chan barely caught any sleep either. It was early in the morning the next day when Bang Chan heard the door of the dorm open and M/N came stumbling into the room, tipsy, stench in cigarettes and alcohol. Bang Chan got up to sit on his bed, his eyes observing every move of the latter who seems to ignore him indefinitely.

“M/N……I…. I can explain.” Bang Chan stammered.

M/N turned to him, his eyes glassy and unfocused, “It is what it is. You don’t need to waste your breath explaining and I don’t need to waste my time listening.”

That was all M/N said before dropping onto his bed, burying himself under his blanket. Bang Chan swore something in him cracked. Ever since then, neither of them shared any word or look even, at least not M/N. Bang Chan still stole glances over his roommate whilst M/N simply pretended as if Bang Chan was nothing but, a thin of air.

“Has M/N been different lately in class?”

ChangBin thought for a moment before shaking his head, “not really. He is still a quiet and reserved kid like he always was since forever.”

“T…That’s good i guess.”

ChangBin rolled his eyes, “seriously? Why are you so concerned about M/N?”

“I…I… I’m not concern about him, i….i just wanna see him suffer?” It came out as a question but for sure, ChangBin didn’t believe the latter.

ChangBin sighed and patted Bang Chan’s right shoulder, “I won’t judge if you end up caring about how he had felt you know. Besides, you did have to go through a lot just for a bet.”

At his words, Bang Chan winced. He did had to go through a lot to get to know M/N. He had to learn and study M/N deeply, taking notes of his liking and dislikes, his little pet peeves, etc. When M/N confessed to Bang Chan, there was no doubt that Bang Chan felt something, Bang Chan could feel the sincerity of M/N’s heart. Bang Chan had to do something to reconcile with M/N, or at least, get M/N to just look at him even for a minute and so the gifts came in. Bang Chan had left gifts with notes on M/N’s study table.

‘M/N, I bought you the cake you liked from the bakery nearby.’

‘M/N, I bought the puff you craved for before.’

‘M/N, i got this flowers cause it reminded me of you.’

‘M/N, look at this grumpy cat plush. It looks just like you.’

‘M/N, this was cute so i got it for you.’

‘M/N, the novel was going for sale at the bookstore so i thought of you.’

Bang Chan felt the ache in his heart looking at the untouched gifts on M/N’s table. It didn’t seem like M/N even care to look at them. This had been even worse than when Bang Chan had know him for the first time. The walls that Bang Chan had torn down previously was rebuilt with even more concrete security and to be frank, Bang Chan was losing hope.

Bang Chan dramatically plops onto the lunch table across ChangBin and whined, “he doesn’t even touch it, i doubt he even looked at it. I had to throw all the cake(s) and pastries that turned bad. Binnie, give me ideas please. I have to do something. I need to apologise to him.”

“You’re finally admitting that you don’t want to see him suffer?” ChangBin smirked. Bang Chan sighed in defeat and nodded to his words. “I mean, if the gifts aren’t working, perhaps do something more brazen? Like, just grab him and make him look at you and talk it out.”

“It could work, maybe?”

“Oh, by the way, have you heard about it?”

“About what?”

“It could be a rumour but proof has been circulating that M/N use to be a porn star. He was involved in a child pornography.” ChangBin said and Bang Chan gasped, “it’s sickening knowing that people are actually into it.”

“Please, tell me you’re joking.”

“I told you it could be a rumour. I haven’t seen it for myself.”

Bang Chan abruptly stood from his chair, taking his belongings before he rushes out of the cafeteria. Reality smacked him hard on the face. Just when he thought he knew M/N that well, there was still some untold secrets kept by him. Could this be the reason why M/N declared Bang Chan was his will to live? Could this be why M/N confessed that Bang Chan had saved him from himself? Could M/N have gone through severe depression because if the rumour had been true, it could tear down one’s soul? Now, Bang Chan felt even worse than before. The red headed find himself sprinting to his dorm room, barging into it. There, M/N sat on his bed with his phone in his hand.

“You,” Bang Chan took a deep breath, trying to calm the adrenaline from sprinting.

He locked the door to their dorm room, stomping towards M/N and he stood right in front of the latter who couldn’t care less to even look at him once.

“You…” Bang Chan breathed, “did you know that there are rumours going on that you were involve in a child pornography?” Bang Chan could see how M/N’s frail begin to tremble. “Is it true?” This time, M/N’s head dropped as if he was a child ashamed of being scolded. “M/N? Is it true that you were involved in a child pornography?”

“And so what?” Bang Chan breath hitched as soon as M/N spoke. It had been awhile since he last heard the latter talk and his voice still never failed to give shivers down his spine.

Bang Chan honestly didn’t expect himself to feel anger arise in him at M/N’s response, “so what?! You should’ve told me! You should’ve explain to me the reason why you’ve been telling me that i saved your life! I could’ve understood you better and—,”

“AND WHAT?!” It happened in a blink of an eye. M/N stood up, pushing Bang Chan hard that he had fell onto his bed, “SO YOU CAN TELL CHANGBIN AND YOUR GROUPS OF FRIENDS THAT I AM THE CHILD IN THAT PORNOGRAPHY? SO YOU CAN CONFIRM THE RUMOURS THAT HAVE BEEN CIRCULATING AROUND?! SO YOU CAN JOIN THE SENIORS WHO ARE INTENDING TO RAPE ME?” Raged was seen across M/N as he towers over Bang Chan, spit flying from his lips. In that moment of anger he'd said everything, whatever was most hurtful, whatever would give him the opportunity to relieve himself, “IF I HAD TOLD YOU EVERYTHING THAT HAD HAPPENED IN THE PAST, WHAT COULD YOU HAVE DONE? COULD YOU SAVE ME FROM BEING ADOPTED BY CRIMINALS? COULD YOU SAVE ME FROM BEING SOLD TO PEOPLE, TO HUMANS FOR THEIR PLEASURE? WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND THE TRAUMA AND SUFFOCATION I FELT? WOULD YOU UNDERSTAND ME IF I SAID THAT I HAD TO KILL PEOPLE BECAUSE ALL OF THEM RAPED ME AT ONCE? COULD YOU BE HYUNJIN HYUNG TO ME? COULD YOU BRING BACK HYUNJIN HYUNG TO ME? COULD YOU STOP ME FROM TRYING TO KILL MYSELF EVERY. SINGLE. FUCKING. NIGHT?”

Bang Chan felt his heart throbbed immensely at M/N’s words. The pain and despair he had made M/N felt was nothing compared to what M/N had been through.

“I LOVED YOU! I LOVED YOU CHRISTOPHER BANG! YOU CAME INTO MY LIFE LIKE A FUCKING ANGEL IN DISGUISE. FINALLY, I COULD BREATHE! I FOUND A WILL TO LIVE! I WAS ECSTATIC GENUINELY HAPPY TO BE WITH YOU. I WAS HOPING THAT ONE DAY WHEN WE GRADUATE, GET A JOB, GET A HOUSE TOGETHER, I WOULD MARRY YOU. I WOULD MAKE YOU THE HAPPIEST MAN ALIVE IN THIS WORLD! BUT NO! EVERYTHING WAS A FUCKING BET! EVERYTHING CAME CRUSHING DOWN ONCE AGAIN AND I WANTED TO DIE IF IT WASN’T FOR HYUNJIN HYUNG’S LAST WISH! I WANTED TO JUST JUMP OFF THE BRIDGE THE NIGHT I—,”

M/N stopped himself abruptly, his breath ragged from his outburst, tears streaming down his cheeks. He took a second to breathe, rethinking about that words he had retorted. M/N felt guilty. He shouldn’t have burst out to Bang Chan out of anger. He should’ve just ignored him like he had been for the past few weeks. He shouldn’t have made the impression that Bang Chan had made M/N think about suicide. No one was at fault but, him. M/N was at fault to even exist in the first place.

“M/N,” Bang Chan’s chest heaved with each sob, breath catching in irregular gasps. Tears streamed down his cheeks, unchecked and hot against his skin. His throat tightened, a lump forming that made it difficult to speak. In that moment, M/N felt his heart shatter into pieces. In all his years of living, someone was crying for him. No one should need to cry for him, especially Bang Chan. He didn’t know what he should do and so, M/N left the dorm room, leaving the sobbing one.

“Here, I got you water.” ChangBin sat on the Bang Chan’s bed as the latter hide himself under the covers. Bang Chan finally crawled out and took the water.

“Why are you here?” His voice was hoarse as if he had been crying for days but, in actually fact, it had only been a couple of hours since M/N left him.

“M/N came running to find me. He said that I should come here and take care of you.”

“He did?”

ChangBin nodded, handing over a warm towel to Bang Chan, “i assume you guys had a fight? None of your faces look any better. You look like a puffer fish and so did M/N just now. I’m surprise you guys can see the world with those swollen eyes.”

“I fucked up ChangBin. I fucked up so bad that i just wanna go back to the time i met M/N for the first time.” Bang Chan sniffled.

“That bad huh?”

“I love M/N, i really do. Even if it wasn’t a bet, I would’ve still fallen for M/N.”

“Finally.” ChangBin smiled, “took you so long to admit it. I apologise to M/N earlier on and explain to him the real reason behind the bet. If isn’t for our seniors who threaten us to make our college life miserable on the bet, we wouldn’t have done it. Surprisingly, M/N asked for the seniors names and when i told him, he was silent.”

“What do you mean?”

“He said those seniors had been after him for a while now. He mentioned something about them knowing the truth from their government parents. I didn’t understand him though, do you?”

“Wait, did you said government parents?”

“Yes.” ChangBin affirmed, “Tae-il sunbaenim’s parents are apart of the government ministers.”

“If they are government minister, it means they technically can know each and every person’s background don’t they?”

“Technically yes,”

“Oh no.”

“Woah, where are you going?” ChangBin was taken aback when Bang Chan practically fly out of his bed, grabbing his phone and putting on his shoes. “Can you at least explain something to me?”

“I need to find M/N. I need to talk to him. I need to apologise. I need,” Bang Chan took a deep breath, “I need M/N.”

“Oh, good luck.”

Bang Chan wasn’t gonna waste anytime because if his institution was right, he needs to find M/N fast. Upon knowing another truth, Bang Chan assume that Tae-il and his gang of friends knew about M/N’s past thus they might have been the ones with the intention to rape M/N all this while. This time, Bang Chan was determine to be save M/N. He needs to. He spammed M/N’s phone with calls and messages but to no avail, there was no response. He searched through the campus asking around if anyone had seen M/N but everyone looked at him in disgust instead. That was until Bang Chan came across a group of seniors in the hallway, he didn’t approach them but, he overheard their conversation that put him sick to the stomach.

“Damn was M/N good.”

“I would do him again.”

“Tae-il is making a fortune.”

“Fucking him was definitely better than a woman.”

“Though the location could be better. The gym storeroom smelled horrible.”

BINGO.

Bang Chan sprinted as fast as a wind to the gym storeroom. He was met with groups of people hanging outside the storeroom. Bang Chan ignored the calls from the people that had deemed to be his ‘friends’ as he stomped into the storeroom. His blood turns cold the moment he was met with what was happening. M/N was tied up in ropes and Bang Chan could see the friction burns underneath it. He was naked, blindfolded, body covered in bruises and blood. As if M/N was a doll, three people were doing the deed, raping him simultaneously on the front and back. Tae-il sat by them, on the chair, cigarettes in his hand smirking proudly as if he had done the best thing in the world.

“FUCK OFF!”

Rage was all he saw. He couldn’t think ahead as he lounge towards them. RED. That was all Bang Chan could see. He didn’t know how or what had happened but he felt someone pulling him away from Tae-il and he came into realisation. Tae-il lay on the floor a couple of feet away from M/N, beaten almost to death. He could hear ChangBin telling him that everything was okay now. No, it wasn’t. M/N was still blindfolded, unaware of what was happening, trembling and curling up on the ground. Bang Chan realised he couldn’t save M/N. He failed to save him.

“M/N?” Bang Chan’s hand trembled as he reached out to M/N. He released the ropes, covering M/N’s fragile frail with the blanket Lee Know had handed over. “M/N, its me. It’s okay. You’re okay.” Bang Chan removed the blindfold and M/N’s e/c orbs looked at him but, his heart shattered. M/N wasn’t crying neither did he show the intention to cry. His eyes wasn’t even watery to begin with. All M/N did was stare into Bang Chan’s teary eyes, lifelessly and Bang Chan broke down as he embraced M/N tightly.

What had he done?

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Author’s Note: Apologies for the late update but, here it is! I might just add one last part to this! A happy ending? Or shall I wreck my own heart with a sad ending?

I hope this does not give too much pressure, but I have a request? I LOVED LOVED the fanfic about satosugu and reader with them being very, very rough after a tough work project/trip. Then I thought about it being a angsty?? Love a good angst

This is your account so it’s completely up to you to write or not!! I was thinking that after a while SatoSugu have another rough week. When the come back, the don’t immediately take it out through sex. Instead, they just bottle it up. Reader tries to comfort them about it but they ignore her or act snappy. Reader isn’t a pushover, but she is very understanding and patient. She lets them be mean, (it still hurt though) and just stays calm. She also had her own rough week while they were gone, but she doesn’t really show it. When they come back angry, she was hoping to forget her pain with them, but she only got their cold shoulder and words.

The next day when she comes home from another rough workday, she notices that they seemed to still be angry and agitated from their work trip. They suggest she take the next two days off, and she immediately knew what was coming. (Full consent given from her) She was feeling sensitive from her own turmoil/stress and the duo’s coldness, but she didn’t think too much of it.

While the roughness did feel good at first, it slowly became too much. They were too rough, far too rough. Their harsh words hurt. Their harsh hands hurt. The rope/ribbon hurt. Everything hurt, but was she overreacting? She was scared of disappointing them and ruining the mood I guess. She tried to look alright, but her cries slowly let out from the pain and emotional hurt.

They noticed it… Reader apologizes, but the duo is like, “Um no why are YOU sorry? This is on US.” SatoSugu realize their mistake and take care her mwah!! It was just a small dump, I’m so so sorry! As much as I LOVE writing, I’ll never be too confident enough to put this out. Even if I were to, writing styles will always be different. (Plus, I love the way other people write, just like yours!!)

Sorry it’s so so long!

- Moni Anon (first time requesting… kind of shy)

Shock

Characters: Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, FAB!Reader

Pairing: SatoSugu X FAB!Reader

Word Count: 2,659

Warnings: Blood, death, shock, nightmares, PTSD, rough sex, choking, riding crop, shibari, degradation, emotional breakdown, crying, aftercare

A/N: I loved this request! Angst is like some of my favorite stuff to write! 🥲 I love a good sad story.

Part One

The morgue was cold. But it wasn't as cold as your hands. You stood at the sink, scrubbing at them with soap and water. You hadn't realized the hot water had been running so long; it had turned icy cold. But you had to keep scrubbing them because you could still feel the tacky blood coating them.

Their blood, their blood that was hot and flowed through your fingers when you tried to stop the bleeding. Blood that stained your clothes. The blood is quite literally on your hands.

You tried, tried so damn hard to save the assistant supervisor who was with you on your mission. The information the higher-ups had given you was wrong. The curse you had exorcized wasn't the only one lingering in the building. There had been two, and after the first was taken care of, you and the assistant supervisor were headed out. The second curse attacked. Slicing at you, you had barely managed to dodge it. Getting cut on the cheek. The young woman, however, had her blood splattered on the concrete.

After the other spirit was dealt with, you rushed to her side. She cried as you tried to tell her she would be okay as you called for Ijichi. But the cut was too deep; she lost too much blood, and you watched the light fade from her eyes. Leaving you alone, stained with her blood.

Your mind snapped out of the bloody memory as someone turned the water off. They gently grabbed your hands, drying them off, pulling you out of the trance you were in. Shoko eyes you before gently leading you to the chairs lining the walls, ushering you to sit down. Reluctantly, you listened, plopping down and looking at your hands.

“I'm going to call Satoru and Suguru to tell them what's happened.”

Your head jerked up, “N-No, don't do that. I’m fine!” Shoko shook her head, leaning against the wall. “Shoko, please, really, I’m fine, I swear.”

“Y/N, I left ten minutes ago. You were washing your hands then, and I found you still washing them? You're in shock; I can't let you leave like this.”

“Please, I don't want to bother them. They just got back from a rough mission.”

“And you didn't?”

Your friend's words were searing into you like hot needles. She was right in a sense; you had just gotten back from a rough mission, but so had your boyfriends. They were gone for a week. Having to travel overseas to deal with several grade-one curses. The two of them handled it, taking down the curse users with them. But when they got home this morning, they headed to the room jet lagged and annoyed over each other, claiming they needed space and sleep.

If Shoko called them, they would be more irritable. You wanted them to get as much rest as they could. They worked their asses off. You being in shock was a minimal issue to involve them in. You would be okay—eventually.

“Y/N, I’m not comfortable letting you go home alone,” Shoko repeated, sitting on one of the chairs beside you.

“Okay, what about Yaga or Nanami then?”

You were so thankful that Shoko agreed with your proposition that Ijichi drove you and Nanami back to your house. Nanami was quiet the whole time, stealing the occasional glance at you, watching as you stared at your hands. It wasn't until Ijichi parked in front of your house that Nanami cleared his throat, catching your attention.

“I think you need to take a couple of days off.” His glasses gleamed. “I'm going to talk to Yaga about it. You're in no state to work right now. You need time to process what happened.”

Swallowing hard, you opened the door to the car. “I appreciate your concern, Nanami, but I’ll be okay.” You attempted to give him your best smile. “I got this.” The look on your friend's face screamed that he knew you were lying.

“Regardless of your ploy to fool me or downplay how much you're hurting, I will still talk to Principal Yaga.”

“And I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks again, Nanami.”

You waved the car off before rubbing Your still-freezing hands together. Things would be better once you got inside. Satoru and Suguru were back, and you could relax, forget about work, and just be together.

As you approached the door, Satoru came out, black sunglasses on as he shut the door. “Oh, hi Satoru, welcome home!” You put on your best smile, approaching him.

“Hi, I'm heading out.” His tone was sharp and as cold as your hands.

“You’re not staying here?”

He pulled his sunglasses down, revealing his blue eyes. “No, I need to get out. Suguru is driving me insane. I’m going shopping.” He waved you off as if dismissing you.

“Oh, well, if you give me a few minutes, I could go with you?”

“Don’t take this the wrong way.” He kept walking, not even looking back at you. “I don’t wanna be around either of you right now.”

Ouch, that stung. But you just gave him a weak smile before heading inside. “Be safe.”

Alright, so Satoru needed some space, but Suguru might be in a better mood. Heading towards his room, you knocked and waited for him to respond. Only he didn’t. Your stomach twisted in knots as you hit again, a little harder this time.

A loud groan sounded behind the door before you listened to the floorboards creaking. The door flung open, and Suguru cocked an eyebrow as he eyed you. He looked exhausted and pissy, but he didn’t say anything as he glared at you.

“W-Welcome home.”

“Mhm.”

“Uhm, Satoru left. Do you wanna watch a movie or get something to eat?”

Suguru shook his head, dark streams of hair falling in his face. “No.” Your cold fingers twitched as you took a deep breath. Just as you opened your mouth, Suguru sighed, jabbing his thumb against the center of his forehead. “Y/N, please, I don’t have the patience or energy to entertain you. Please go away.” The door slammed in your face, leaving you staring at the wood grain in stunned silence.

Okay, well, that was unexpected. When the boys came back from a mission like this, you all usually had sex, taking the aggression out in the rawest way you could. This cold shoulder attitude was something new. Alien and strange, making my stomach ache.

After last week and especially today, you hoped to spend time with them. Snuggling them, forgetting about the horrors you had witnessed. Instead, you have a door in your face.

Nothing you could say or do to change their minds and attitudes. Everyone dealt with anger, stress, and exhaustion in their ways. Theirs happened to be wanting to spend time by themselves. Which was perfectly fine, but they could have at least been a bit nicer about it.

You spent the entirety of your night in your room after a hot shower. You lay there hugging your pillow as you stared blankly at the wall. Every time you started to doze off, you would see blood splattering the floor, hear wheezed, gurgled breathing, and see the light fade from that poor girl's eyes. You hardly slept at all, restlessly tossing and turning.

You were relieved when your alarm went off, ushering you to start your day. You got ready, and not once did you see your partners. Both doors to their rooms shut. Neither one came out to see you off, making your stomach turn.

At work, you put on a smile, trying to joke with the first and second years, but everyone could see your fragile state. From the dark circles under your eyes to how you disassociated during training. So you weren’t surprised when Principal Yaga came into your classroom and told you that you would be taking the next week off.

“You need to focus on recovering. If you need more time, call me.”

His words hummed in your ears all the way home. How pathetic were you? Allowing a young girl to be killed. A mandatory week off of work, and on top of all that, your partners were pissy and avoiding you. This, indeed, was one of the lowest two days of your life. You can’t remember the last time you’d felt this lowly, lost in the dark.

“I’m home.” You announced as you entered the house. Not expecting a response since both of them weren’t up when you left.

“Y/N,” Satoru said as you felt him press against your back. “Need you to do us a favor.”

Your body tensed as a blindfold was placed over your eyes. “You’ll need to call out of work for the next few days,” Suguru added as hands groped your breasts.

“Yeah, not a problem.”

They needed this, and if it would mean they felt better, that you could focus on pleasure, you’d gladly do what they wanted. And what they wanted was rough carnal sex. The type of sex that hard blue ropes digging into your wrists, bound behind your back. Intricate shibari dug into your chest, your breasts being squeezed. Everything felt so good, but it was so tight it almost hurt.

Your mouth was wrapped around Satoru’s cock. He was fucking your throat, yanking your hair painfully as he moaned as Suguru fucked you from behind. With every other thrust, Suguru slapped the leather riding crop over your ass. Your cries around Satoru’s cock had them both groaning.

“What a fuckin’ slut.” Satoru whined out, thrusting deeper down your throat, making you gag.

Suguru smacked the crop harder against you. “A dirty fuckin’ slut.” Another smack, followed by another, and it just kept going and going.

You cried around Gojo harder as Suguru continued his whipping behind you. “M-Mmm!”

“Mmm~?” Satoru mocked you. “Fuckin’ pathetic.” His cock hit the back of your throat painfully. Making your tears stain the blindfold as Suguru’s pace picked up.

“Pathetic whiny bitch in heat.” The crop hit your other cheek. “Absolutely pathetic”

You weren’t sure what hurt more. The crop and their cold, harsh words. They were never this mean. Calling you pathetic hurts because that’s who you saw yourself for the last few days. The ropes began to sting like your eyes; more tears stained the blindfold. You could handle this; they should be done soon; they needed this.

You couldn’t save that girl; the least you could do was help your boyfriends feel better.

“Pathetic worthless girl~ all you’re good for is this.” Gojo yanked your hair, and you saw splatters of blood. You were worthless at that moment.

A sharp sting from the riding crop. “Yeah, a good-for-nothing slut. All you’re good for is being our personal cock sleeve.” Good for nothing, yeah, you just let that girl die.

“Fucking stupid bitch.” The dark-haired man watched as Satoru’s face scrunched up in pleasure. “You're going to make him cum.” Long fingers trailed under the twisted ropes, yanking them hard. “That’s all you’re good for bitch.”

The ropes burned, digging into your flesh. Slicing into you like—like the girl you let die.

Suguru was the first to notice something was wrong. Your hands were pale. They trembled along with the rest of your body. He tossed the riding crop to the side, his dark eyes focusing on his white-haired boyfriend, who was still in utter bliss.

“Satoru.” His voice wasn’t filled with the same heated lust from before, and you noticed. “Stop, pull out.”

Satoru was about to complain, but as he peered at Suguru with half-lidded eyes, he knew he was serious. He listened to both of them pulling out of your mouth and pussy, watching as you coughed and gagged before those gags turned into wretched sobs. You curled in on yourself, sobbing louder. Images of blood, the morgue table, and blood spinning down a sink flashed through your mind.

The boys jumped into action instantly. They removed the blindfold and the bindings around you, allowing you to curl into a fetal position. They watched your trembling body before looking at each other, mentally asking the other what they should do. But it was you who spoke first.

“I-I’m sorry!” A broken cry sounded from the back of your throat.

Satoru gently pulled you into his arms, leaning against the bed's headboard. You sobbed into his chest while Suguru gently rubbed your back. Both of them were silent as you cried two days’ worth of pain out. Guilt seeped into the muscles and none of your body, for the assistant supervisor, for ruining the mood, for being so weak.

“Don’t. Please don’t apologize,” Suguru whispered, leaning down and kissing your cheek. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“This is on us. We went way too far.” Satoru added his hands, gently massaging your shoulders.

You babbled into his chest as your other hand grabbed Suguru’s, holding it tight. “I-I messed up this week! And now this!” You could feel both of their muscles tensing at your words.

“What do you—”

“Mean you messed up?”

The events of yesterday spewed out of you like a water fountain. You sobbed, going over the details while both men gently caressed and listened to you in silence. The moment you finished spilling out your guts, Satoru and Suguru shared a look.

“And I didn’t make it any better.” You sniffled, looking up at Satoru. Ivory cheeks were flushed as he ran his hand through his hair. “Telling you I didn’t want to be near you.”

Suguru let out a cold, harsh chuckle. “I wasn’t any better. I told Y/N I didn’t have the time nor the patience to entertain her.” You hummed, relaxing against the duo, feeling more calm than you had in the last twenty-four hours.

“Then we were too rough. I feel like a total dick

“Same here,” Suguru planted a kiss on your shoulder, his hand gently rubbing your arm. “What can we do to make it up to you?”

“I’m honestly so tired. I just want to snuggle in bed.”

Your request wasn’t ignored. They both got up; Suguru changed the sheets and picked up Satoru’s room. While you stood under the hot water in the shower, Satoru gently washed your hair. Long fingers massaging your scalp before the curtain opened and Suguru stepped in behind you. Their hands gently slid over your slicked skin. Washing, massaging, and worshiping you.

Their sweet caresses made your eyes heavier as the tense, sore muscles relaxed. While you longed to take care of their needs most of the time. Being held like this, sandwiched between the two strongest sorcerers in the world, made you feel safer. With them at your side, you knee deep down in your gut that everything would be okay.

After the most relaxing shower you’d ever taken was over, you slid on your pajamas before crawling into bed, collapsing into the plush mattress and expensive Egyptian silk sheets. Satoru crawled in with you as Suguru pulled you to rest on his chest while Satoru spooned you. Their hands were so soft and gentle. Their fingers and warm palms were like your own personal lullaby.

“Shh,” Suguru hushed, “we got you.”

Satoru nodded against your shoulder and the crook of your neck. “You can rest. If you have a nightmare, we’ll be beside you.” Satoru grabbed one hand as Suguru grabbed the other.

“Rest.”

The warmth of their hands in yours had your cold hands finally returning to normal. Sometimes, days could be terrible. Making you question everything you do. You were happy to know your boyfriends would be there to help bring some of the light back into your life. That was something you would firmly be able to stand by and defend, especially when their arms were wrapped so tightly around you.

[Selective Mute - SKZ Lee Know X M!Reader] [NSFW]

“Babe, this colour or this colour?” M/N looks to his boyfriend who held two different suit. One was grey, the other was white. He gave a light shrug before pointing to the white one. “What about you? What colour would you be wearing?” M/N made his way to the rack and pull out a black suit. “Looks good. Let’s check out, I’m starving and the kids just texted me. Felix made brownies.”

M/N smiled, wrapping an arm around his older boyfriend and gave a chaste kiss to the latter forehead. The couple were preparing for the red carpet of MAMA, attending as a pair for the first time in the two years of their relationship. A week prior, with the approval of JYP, Lee Know came out to his fans, to the world about being a gay and having a boyfriend. He explained that they had been together for two years. Instantly, the news blew up and thankfully, the outcome was positive. MAMA even invited M/N as a guest to attend with Lee Know.

“We’re homed!” Lee Know voice echoed through the hallways of the entrance as he took off his shoes, putting them neatly on the rack. M/N followed through the older, heading inside the living room.

“Welcome back!”

“Hi Hyung”

“Hey M/N,”

The chorus of response ignited in the kitchen where SKZ joyfully prepared dinner as a team. It was half an hour later when all of them sat at the dining table, devouring their home cooked meal, which was a once in a blue moon thing considering how busy they were and all they ever ate was take out when the leader begins to converse in small talks

“Have you picked out the suit?” Bang Chan asked the couple who sat opposite him.

“Yeah we did. I can’t believe it’s happening tomorrow night.” Lee Know said. M/N gave him a squeeze on his thigh, calming the older down.

“It’s finally time. STAYs love you guys as much as they love all of us so everything will be alright.” ChangBin assured the dancer just as he got up to take a drink from the fridge.

M/N watched fondly as Lee Know started ranting out about how nervous he was whilst the rest of the members assured him calmly. It was a beautiful scene to watch, having them showing support to each other. Unfortunately, by the end of the day, closing to midnight, M/N waved goodbye to the members, getting himself ready to leave the dorm.

“I’m going to see you tomorrow afternoon right?” Lee Know frowned as he look up to his taller boyfriend, hands intertwined behind his neck. M/N smiled softly, planting a soft kiss to the latter’s forehead. “Can you not go home tonight? You can just sleep over.”

M/N shook his head, apologising through his eyes. Lee Know knew he couldn’t get M/N to stay for the night, at least, tonight because M/N had to prepare for tomorrow and he had work to be completed the next morning. M/N is a composer in HYBE.

“Okay,” Lee Know let out a soft sigh, nodding to the latter. Both of them understood each other. As much as the lovers want to just lock themselves in a room and forget the world exist, the world still exist and life had to move in. “I love you.” M/N responded by kissing the older deep enough for the the latter to cry out a soft moan.

Heavy heartedly as Lee Know watch his lover disappear into the closing elevators door, he sighed, going back into the dorm, straight into his room.

“Hyung? Are you okay?” JiSung peeked his head into the dancer’s room, concern on how dejected the other looked. He found Lee Know sat on his bed, knees tugged into his chest as he stroll nonchalantly on his phone. “Hyung?”

“Oh, hey Sungie. What’s up?” Lee Know asked.

“I’m worried about you. I know you’re nervous for tomorrow but, you look as if you are going to attend a death sentence.”

Lee Know frowned even more, “I look that bad?” He sighed, “I know I’m nervous but, I’m more terrified for tomorrow. What if there’s an anti or some kind of sasaeng? I mean, there must be at least one or a couple of people who dislike our relationship. Not that I care about them liking it or not but, what if they hurt M/N?”

“I hear you and I understand where you’re coming from but, you need to know that both of you aren’t alone here. You still have us. We will be there to protect you both and STAYs will be there to protect us. They’re our guardian angels you know.” JiSung said, “have you forgotten when a sasaeng literally snatch Felix’s ÏČË scream randomly out of nowhere? STAYs hunted her down and made sure she was reported. That’s how STAYs are for us.”

“You’re right. I’m getting too worked up for tomorrow.” Lee Know sighed, “thanks Sungie.”

“Always there for you Hyung.” JiSung grinned and gave the older a tight hug.

It was late at night, early in the morning, where neither the Sun or the stars shine in the sky. It was 4am when M/N found himself yawning for the ninth time as he type in the lyrics that he compose an hour ago into his laptop. He was tired but, he was not exactly sleepy. Yawning means coffee. The producer saves his work and took out a can of coffee, gulping it in one shot. He finally took his phone from his back pocket, surprised to see missed calls from none other than his lover. Something was wrong. Lee Know almost never calls, or at least, Lee Know knew when to call considering how little M/N even speak. Locking the door to his studio entrance, sitting back down on his roller chair. M/N called his lover.

“M/N, I——I’m” When Lee Know spoke, it sounded like his voice was made of gravel. His clear tone was undercut with a choking heaviness that forced him to pause several times.

“Give me 15 minutes. I’ll be outside your dorm baby.” M/N was not going to lie at how his heart aches hearing Lee Know’s voice. The last time he heard this voice was almost a year ago when they had a huge fight due to a misunderstanding. It wasn’t pretty but M/N thanked god they manage to talk it out.

His fingers tapped against the elevator walls as he anxiously waited for it to reach a certain level. Every second that went by cause more ache to his heart. He needed to get to Lee Know, fast. Ding! The elevator door opened and M/N sprinted out of it to where SKZ dorm was. There, he crouched, tears streaming down his face as he hiccups, swallowing back sobs that threatened to echo down the hallway.

“Baby.” M/N whispered, scooping his lover into his arms, holding him tightly. Lee Know buried his face into M/N’s chest, letting out a soft sob. “Come on, let’s get you inside, you’re freezing.” The producer lifted the dancer effortlessly. Lee Know has his legs wrapped around M/N’s hips as he buried his face deep into the latter’s neck. Not wanting to wake the rest up, M/N tiptoed towards the room, locking the doors behind him.

M/N gently laid Lee Know on the bed and hovered on top of him, “baby?”

“I’m sorry.” Lee Know sniffled, “you were busy and I just had to disturb you. I don’t even know why I can’t stop crying,”

“Baby, it’s okay. You’re my priority,” M/N gently ran a hand through the dancer’s hair, “now, baby. what’s wrong?”

“I….I just feel so scared for tonight. I.. I know it should be a joyous occasion but, what if, someone hurts you? What if there are anti and sasaeng who wants to hurt you? I’m scared. I don’t want you hurt.” Lee Know sniffled, clenching onto M/N’s black cotton shirt.

M/N cooed and kisses the tears away, booping their noses together, “baby, how could I ever not love you?” The producer grinned, planting a kiss to the dancer’s lips, “everything will be alright, let’s not think negatively. If it’ll make you feel better, I was once a policeman.”

“I forgot about that and I feel so dumb right now,” a blush spread on Lee Know’s cheek as he finally calm down.

“It’s okay baby, thank you for worrying about me. I love you. I love you. I love you.” M/N repeatedly said as he plants kisses to Lee Know’s forehead, down to his eyelids, his nose, his cheeks, his lips, his neck. “May I?” The producer asked for consent, knowing where the kisses were leading to.

“Yes please,” Lee Know whispered as M/N continue to plant kisses on his neck, sucking on them to leave a bruise. The producer continued, sliding his hand under the dancer’s shirt, caressing his torso so lovingly. Lee Know mewled, arching his back in pleasure. It was just a matter of seconds when they got themselves undress.

“I love you baby.” M/N smiled softly to the older, as he insert a lubricated digit into him. Lee Know bit his lips, suppressing a moan, “let me hear you baby.” The producer insert another finger in a scissoring motion.

“Fuck, I want to feel you love, I want you in me.” Lee Know moaned.

M/N chuckled, planting a kiss to the older’s forehead as he added another finger into him, “patience, baby.” Almost like a growl, Lee Know felt the high in him arise, with a arch back, he came. “Cumming only from my finger, baby?”

“V—-voice, your voice,” breathless, Lee Know clawed on M/N’s broad shoulder, “fuck me.”

M/N smirked, “how about a little ‘please fuck me’, baby?”

“Please fuck me. Please fuck me now, make me scream.” Lee Know moaned as he felt M/N slide his dick teasingly on Lee Know’s entrance.

“Safe word?”

“Euphoria.” Lee Know responded instantly.

“I love you.” M/N whispered into the older’s ears before slamming hard into him.

“A—agh, fuck.” He could feel the older’s tremble under him as he kept a consistent pace, feeling the warmth of Lee Know around him. “B—ig big. You’re too big.”

“Am I hurting you?” Concern, M/N stopped his movement, staring into Lee Know’s teary eyes.

Lee Know felt warmth in his heart. It wasn’t the first time they made love, it has been countless of time and yet, M/N never failed to be gentle and caring. In the name of SKZ, Lee Know swore despite the countless time, he could never get use to M/N. M/N was thick and long. Every time the producer thrusted in him, he could feel his guts being rearranged indefinitely.

Lee Know chuckled, holding onto M/N’s cheek, “I’m okay. I promise.”

“I love you.” M/N kissed him deeply before thrusting in rhythmic. “You’re so tight baby. I can never imagine this pleasure from anyone,” M/N growled as he grip Lee Know’s waist, thrusting into him harder. He puts a hand on the older’s lower stomach, smirking when he sees the bulge each time he thrusted.

“A—agh, agh, M/N, I’m gonna cum. Cum in me please,” Lee Know breathlessly moaned. M/N smiled, locking their lips together as he thrusted with a inhumane speed.

“AGH~~~,” The two moaned, riding their highs. Lee Know could feel the warm liquid of M/N in him as he came onto their chest.

“I love you.” M/N said.

“I love you.” Lee Know gasped. “Why…why are you growing bigger in me?”

M/N chuckled, “round two before everyone wakes up?” He glanced over to the clock on the nightstand seeing that it was almost 6am.

“If I can’t walk on the red carpet later, it’s your fault.” Lee Know laughed, “but oh well, round two please.”

~~~~~~

“Did you guys not hear it this morning?”

“I think Hyung brought someone back.”

“He’s cheating on M/N?”

“That’s impossible. Hyung loves M/N to death.”

“But they were fucking and there was another voice, apart from Hyung’s. M/N is mute. I doubt he would make any sound while fucking”

“Maybe we should talk to Lee Know first. Let’s not jump into conclusions.”

In the midst of the chaos between the members of SKZ, leaving Lee Know apart, M/N walked into the kitchen, half asleep. He nodded to the members as a good morning before pouring himself a cup of coffee.

“M/N Hyung.” I.N called out the latter, “when did you arrive here?”

‘This morning.’ M/N wrote on the board hanged on the fridge. The members had put him into consideration in terms of how they wanted to converse.

“This morning? Meaning, you just came back from work?” SeungMin asked, earning a nod from the latter.

All of them shared a look with each other before Bang Chan beckoned to the producer to sit with them. M/N raised an eyebrow confused but nonetheless took a seat.

“I know we shouldn’t be the one saying this but,” ChangBin gulped, debating whether he should say the next sentence in mind.

“Lee Know might have brought back some—,” Bang Chan was cut off when Lee Know came limping into the kitchen, half asleep.

“Morning guys.” The dancer greeted and smiled sleepily to his lover. He too poured himself some coffee before heading over to M/N, casually taking a seat on his lap. He plants a kiss to M/N cheek before snuggling his head into the producer’s neck.

Everyone gave a death stare.

“Do I have blood on me or was the limping too obvious? Why the hell are they death staring me?” Lee Know whispered to his lover. M/N shrugged putting his hand in surrender. “Are you going to kill me or how is this going to work?”

“Hyung.” HyunJin deadpanned.

“Who was in your room this morning?” Felix asked.

Lee Know looked at them confused, “who was in my room? Myself and M/N of course.”

“How can you prove it?”

“Well, I don’t know if M/N is a invisible man but, I am right here sitting on my man’s lap. Literally.” Lee Know emphasised.

Bang Chan sighed as he finally knock on the table to get the attention of others, “okay. I know we aren’t suppose to actually get ourselves into your business but, we heard someone else in your room this morning Lee Know. The person and you were making love. As you know, the walls are not soundproof here.”

Lee Know and M/N looked at each other, the dancer turning red every second.

Chang Bin continued, “and we do not believe that it was M/N because number one, you are way too loud and two, M/N is mute, we doubt he would make a sound.”

Lee Know broke out into a laugh so hard, tears were accumulating in his eyes, “wait wait wait, so you’re telling me that you suspected that I cheated on M/N?”

“Yes!” The members responded simultaneously.

“Omgggg, I would never cheat on M/N. Besides, if did, I would lose literally my life along.” Lee Know giggled.

“See I told you, Hyung would never cheat.” JiSung chimed.

Lee Know calm himself down and wipe away a fallen tear, “my apologies for being too loud but, the other voice you heard was actually M/N. M/N is mute but he’s a selective mute.”

“I can speak, I have a voice.” M/N said as he adjusted Lee Know on his lap, sitting upright. Everyone gasped, eyes widened. “The only person I feel comfortable speaking to is Lee Know Hyung.“

“You did good babe.” Lee Know praised the producer. He knew how much it would take a toll for M/N to speak to others. “It’s not that he is uncomfortable with you guys but, M/N had a rough past with his voice which causes severe anxiety. It’ll take time for him to open up. It took close to three years when we were just friends for him to speak to me.”

“Oh lord, we’re so sorry for assuming such things.”

“Don’t apologise. You guys did nothing wrong, instead we should be the one apologising for the disruption this morning.” Lee Know blushed.

JiSung grinned, “nah, it is good to know that M/N actually can speak. What we’re worried it’s more of, can you walk later? I swear the bed creaking and your scream Hyung was a little over the moon.”

“Oh, that’s not even a full session.” Lee Know cheekily smiled as he kisses M/N’s cheek.

“Ewwwww,” the member cringed at the lovers.

[New Year Kiss - SKZ Seo ChangBin X M!Reader]

M/N was not exactly the typical ‘perfect’ guy they said. In this world, we are living, it may be true that society was finally being open to a world of acceptance but, it was not yet for M/N. Honestly, if anyone would describe M/N at first look, M/N will be called as a delinquent. Not because of what he had done but, only because of how he looked.

Despite he looks and all the judgements given by others, there was that one man who stood strong in his life, loving him unconditionally. He was older than the latter, famous and adorable. If M/N could write a book about this man. He would produce a series of book for the latter. His name is Seo ChangBin.

Seo ChangBin was known as a member of stray kids. He was one of the talented producer better known in 3RACHA. ChangBin was known to be the muscular man, no doubt, the pulsing veins of the rapper whenever he worked or the huge muscle of his biceps, almost as thick as I.N’s face if one could compare it.

The two met at a new year party, where SKZ was invited as guests. M/N happened to be the best friend of the host. It was chaotic. M/N was just sitting by the bar, a cocktail in his hands when he noticed the rapper being pushed by the drunk dancers. Like a knight in a shining armor, M/N rescued ChangBin. He pulled the rapper up in his arm in a bridal way, did not even give him to say anything and walked away from the drunken.

“I…you… thank you.” ChangBin turned red tomato, stammering for to the younger. At first, M/N stared at the rapper, scan their surrounding before giving the latter a genuine small smile.

“You’re most welcome, Dwaekki right?” A chuckle left his lips and ChangBin felt his heart skip a beat.

“ChangBin, Seo ChangBin.” The rapper introduced himself. “Do I really look like a Dwaekki?”

“An adorable.” M/N beamed. “I doubt you should be away from your members. Where are they?”

“I just came back from the bathroom but, I seem to lost them.” ChangBin reasoned.

M/N looked through the crowd, squinting his eyes slightly. “I’m going to assume that one of your members has a blond hair wearing a rabbit ears headband.”

“Yes. That must be Lee Know.”

“If you walk just along the pathway behind the buffet, it’ll lead you to where they are.” M/N said.

“Well, I better get going then.”

“Hold on,” M/N called out, “if you don’t mind, can I get your number? I want to bring you out on a date.” Despite the boldness of him, ChangBin could see the clear redness spread on his cheek.

“Sure, of course.” The two switched their phone to let themself enter their numbers. “M/N. F/N M/N, that’s a really nice name. I hope to see you soon.”

“Very likely Dwaekki.” M/N grinned.

“10! 9! 8!” The crowd begin to cheer.

In the midst of the ruckus, M/N found the courage to hold the rapper waist, “Dwaekki, if you’re okay. May you do the honour to being my new year first kiss?”

ChangBin was taken aback slightly but, nonetheless, the moment the crowd erupted with a ‘HAPPY NEW YEAR!’, the rapper pulled M/N by his collar, linking their lips together.

And the love story begins.

A/N: Credits to ODDinary for the picture.

[Insecurity - SKZ x M!Reader]

You are SKZ’s close friend since you’ve been training under the same company with them. Due to your schedule being busy because you just debuted a month ago, you barely had time to hang out with them. They were very understanding though because, you went through the same thing when they debuted. And as what seems that god had given you a day off, you were very excited to hang out with them.

“I’m backkkkkkkkk!!!!!!” You grinned widely as you skipped into the dorm with chinese takeouts.

“M/N!”

“Hyung!”

All of them were surprised to see you. You put down the take outs on the dining table before taking off your jacket, tossing it on the chair. Bang Chan was the first one who opened his arm and you jumped right into them, nuzzling your head into his chest.

“Oh, I miss you so much.” Bang Chan cooed, kissing the top of your head as you guys hugged.

“Let’s just leave, it seems like M/N only misses Bang Chan anyways.” You chuckled upon hearing ChangBin’s word.

You broke away from the hug before turning towards ChangBin, practically jumping onto him. He loses his balance and fell to the ground with you still on top of him.

“You lost weight.” ChangBin said, holding onto your waist.

“We all do when we debut.” You replied.

You gave ChangBin another tight hug before turning to the rest of the kids, giving each one of them hugs. After chatting for awhile, you found yourself seated in the living room with them, the take outs food that you brought was shared amongst each other.

“You did WHAT?” All of them yelled almost, simultaneously.

“What?” You rolled your eyes. “I’m still alive.”

Apparently, you had just expose your secret of losing weight to them which was very unhealthy because it consisted of you only eating one piece of sweet potato each day and that was all.

“That’s very unhealthy.” Lee Know frowned.

“Eat more M/N, you need it.” You smiled as HyunJin gave you another piece of chicken.

“And how much did you lose from all that?” Jisung questioned.

“Just 16kg.” You replied, stuffing your face with food.

“WHAT?!!!”

“Hyung! That’s horrible, how could you?” I.N who sat next to you cling on your arm, pouting. “Omg, no more muscles.”

“It’s not that bad. At least, I’m still overweight though.”

“Overweight, my ass.” Seungmin rolled his eyes, “have you seen yourself? You’re skin and bone. Like, I swear I can break a bone if I flick your forehead.”

“Is it that bad?” You suddenly become self conscious. In all honesty, it wasn’t only your debut that made you lose weight, the stress and pressure that came with it was a bonus. Not to mention, some antis commented on how heavy you looked. You didn’t want to disappoint them.

“This isn’t just about debuting isn’t it?” As if he could read your mind, Bang Chan put down his food, gulping the soda and gave you a stern look. “M/N, are you being bullied?”

You looked at him in disbelieve, “b—bullied? No?” You didn’t mean to make it sound as if you were questioning him. It just came out of you.

“Oh you are being bullied. You’re stuttering. Who’s bullying you?” Felix interjected.

“I—-I’m not being bu—,”

“HERE IT IS! I knew it.” I.N suddenly pulled out his phone, showing the rest of them a fan page. You knew that fan page. It was the exact same one where you read all those hates from antis. “This is horrible. Why didn’t you tell us?”

“Cause it didn’t matter?” Again, it came out like a question.

“M/N.”

Oh no, you felt your throat close up, a churning stomach made you ran towards the toilet and there goes the rainbow. You felt tears escaping your eyes as you coughed every content that you just digested.

“Oh love,” You heard Lee Know behind you, rubbing your back soothingly. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

“I….I didn’t want to burden all of you.” You hiccuped, wiping your mouth with the sleeves of your shirt. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey, it’s okay. Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” Lee Know led you to the sink, giving you a toothbrush and mouthwash. You ended up, taking a shower and slipped into Lee Know’s sweaters.

When you were back at the living room, the rest had cleared up the takeouts and laid a huge comforter across the living room, you see them laying/sitting on it, waiting for you.

“Come here baby.” M/N smiled softly as JiSung opens his arms, inviting you to lay on him. You thanked Lee Know for helping you clean up before making your way into JiSung’s arm.

I.N scooted beside the two of you and link his arm across JiSung’s. You find yourself drifting to sleep from the comfort of the two.

“Sweetie.” Bang Chan calls out, “shall we make an promise amongst all of us that you would not do this stupid dieting every again?”

“I’m sorry and I promise I won’t do it again.” Y/N frowned feeling guilty for causing such disappointment to your loved one.

“I love you.”

JiSung was the first one to kiss you on the forehead. I.N was after him, followed by HyunJin, SeungMin, Lee Know, ChangBin, Felix and lastly Bang Chan.

“I love you guys.” You whispered before slowly drifting to sleep in JiSung’s arm.

How to Write a Character Who Feels Like Throwing Up

When fear, dread, or guilt gets sickening—literally—your character is consumed with a gut-clenching feeling that something is very, very wrong. Here's how to write that emotion using more than the classic "bile rose to the back of their throat".

Start with the Stomach

This isn’t just about discomfort. It’s about a complete rebellion happening inside their body.

Their stomach twists like a knot that keeps pulling tighter

A cold sweat beads on their neck, their palms, their spine

Their insides feel sludgy, like everything they’ve eaten is suddenly unwelcome

They double over, not from pain, but because sitting still feels impossible

Add Sensory Overload

Vomiting isn’t just a stomach reaction—it’s the whole body.

Their mouth goes dry, and then too wet

Their jaw tightens, trying to contain it

A sudden heat blooms in their chest and face, overwhelming

The back of their throat burns—not bile, but the threat of it

Breathing becomes a conscious effort: in, out, shallow, sharp

Emotional Triggers

Nausea doesn’t always need a physical cause. Tie it to emotion for more impact:

Fear: The kind that’s silent and wide-eyed. They’re frozen, too sick to speak.

Guilt: Their hands are cold, but their face is flushed. Every memory plays like a film reel behind their eyes.

Shock: Something just snapped inside. Their body registered it before their brain did.

Ground It in Action

Don’t just describe the nausea—show them reacting to it.

They press a fist to their mouth, pretending it’s a cough

Their knees weaken, and they lean on a wall, pretending it’s just fatigue

They excuse themselves quietly, then collapse in a bathroom stall

They swallow, again and again, like that’ll keep everything down

Let the Consequences Linger

Even if they don’t actually throw up, the aftermath sticks.

A sour taste that won’t leave their mouth.

A pulsing headache

A body that feels hollowed out, shaky, untrustworthy

The shame of nearly losing control in front of someone else

Let Them Be Human

A character feeling like vomiting is vulnerable. It's real. It’s raw. It means they’re overwhelmed in a way they can’t hide. And that makes them relatable. You don’t need melodrama—you need truth. Capture that moment where the world spins, and they don’t know if it’s panic or flu or fear, but all they want is to get out of their own body for a second.

Don't just write the bile. Write the breakdown.

[Here Always]  - [SKZ Kim SeungMin X M!Reader]

If one could describe M/N relationship with none other than the love of his life, Kim SeungMin, one would say they are not even in love or even in one. That was the view of the world but, not to M/N and SeungMin.

F/N M/N and Kim SeungMin were friends since they were in their diapers. SeungMin’s mom and M/N’s mother would meet up every single day being the closest of friends. As they grew up, no doubt, they became close.

An awkward day being alone An unknown whisper The night I wandered around calling you When I close my eyes Warm comfort blows into me like a cold season Slowly into me

It was that one night when M/N realises that he was in love with SeungMin. For the first time in forever, M/N and SeungMin had spent the day apart from each other.

‘How’s the night going?’

M/N sighed as he sent a text to SeungMin whilst he sat on the couch, trying to find a comfortable position.

He had abandoned on his supposedly date for the night after spending 15 minutes together in a restaurant. They had ordered their food and drinks, only awaiting for it to be served. His date was good looking, benevolent and wonderful and he was sure that if everything went well, he might just get laid tonight. That was until his eyes played tricks on him. He had imagined it was Kim SeungMin sitting in front of him, smiling and laughing at the random jokes they heard from across the table. He had wished that it was Kim SeungMin who had grabbed his hand tenderly and stared into his eyes.

“I…..I’m so sorry.” M/N pulled his hand away from the other before, shifting his gaze everywhere but, not to him.

“It’s okay.” His date smiled, “you’re in love with someone else aren’t you?”

“Is it obvious?”

His date smiled and nodded, “very. Now, go. Get him before it’s too late. I’m just going to assume that you both went on separate dates to get someone and then now is the time where you realise you are in love with each other.”

M/N grinned so widely that his cheeks hurts a lot. He thanked the date profusely and gave him a hug for making him realise. M/N didn’t waste anymore time as he rushed out of the restaurant, stopping by the counter to pay for the food and rode on his bike back home, his shared apartment with SeungMin.

When he reached home, he realise that SeungMin was on his own date, which means, the probability of him falling for his date was high and he couldn’t just barge and ruin the date if SeungMin was happy. M/N begins overthinking about all the possibilities that emerge wildly in his head.

What if Kim SeungMin didn’t feel the same way he did?

What if Kim SeungMin hated him for loving him?

What if ———

‘Can you get me?’

The special ringtone of SeungMin’s alerted M/N out of his train of thoughts. M/N jolted up from the couch, grabbing his things before rushing out the door.

“Hey.” M/N whispered, seeing as SeungMin sat on the bench by the roadside.

SeungMin looked up with teary eyes, holding his hands up like a child wanting to be carried. M/N smiled and got down from his bike, taking the other into his embrace.

“I take the date didn’t go so well?” M/N asked.

“No, it went wonderful. He was nice and kind and handsome.” SeungMin sniffled as he hid his face into M/N’s neck. “But I was the one who isn’t okay.”

“Shall we go home, cuddles and snacks on the couch and you can tell me all about it?”

SeungMin broke out of the hug and threw pillows to M/N’s chest. “I hate you. I hate you. I hate you!”

M/N sweat dropped as he looks around to see the passer-by giving him a look of disappointment as if he had done something wrong.

“Minnie, I’m sorry that you hate me but, everyone here is literally thinking that I did something wrong to you and I don’t know if I did so, what’s wrong Minnie?” M/N whispered grabbing SeungMin’s hand to stop the other from hitting him.

“I like you okay? Fuck, I think I love you even and today date went wrong because my fucking date made me realise that I am in love with you! And I hate you for making me lo—-,”

M/N cut the latter off, linking their lips together. SeungMin melted in the kiss as he felt himself calming down instantly.

“You k——,”

“I like you okay? Fuck, I love you. And just like you, tonight made me realise that I am in love with you that I am not able to spend any more nights without you.” M/N said as he plants a chaste kiss to SeungMin’s forehead.

“I hate you.” SeungMin sniffled and leans his head to M/N’s chest.

“I love you more.” M/N grinned. “Here always.”

“Here always.” SeungMin repeated.

I'm still here always

Each and every stop

I miss being by your side

Always there by your side

Here always

If there's a name that I'm going to call you

Should it be a "shining sea" or "my world"?

When I close my eyes

It lingers in my ears

Your faint waves come into my dreams

And sprеad out fully