SEOJUN: One Of Us Has To Be The Responsible One, But Know It’s Out Of Love!! SEOJUN: It’s Impossible

seojvns‌:

“i wouldn’t wanna share such a special moment when anyone else,” he teases, but despite the playfulness in his tone, he means it. whenever kian gave seojun any bit of his attention, it felt like a privilege, and he never knew how long it’d last. he assumed that’s why kian left for days at a time. out of boredom. “must be,” he responds with a grin, listening to his words as he continued, agreeing with each word that he said. “i feel bad for the people who choose to let it stop them,” he mumbles in response, thankful that he’s not one of them. “do you ever think you’ll fall in love? like the kind of love that’s in movies?” he questions, the childish question leaving his lips before he can even think about stopping himself. “it’s just,” he feels his cheeks warm, “sometimes i wonder if it’s all made up, or if there really is love like that out there. it’s stupid, i know, but,” and now that he’s started rambling he can’t seem to stop, “i’m really afraid that i’m gonna be alone forever.” his voice is soft, his words barely above a whisper. he shifts a bit when kian questions him. “i don’t know,” he scrunches his nose, “i guess if it were late, like it is now, and no one was around…” he muses, but he shakes his head slightly. “seems risky though,” and if there was anything jun hated, it was getting in trouble. “umm,” he takes a moment to think about it before answering, “probably in a bathroom at a party?  maybe? i’m not… a very adventurous person… in that way…” his words are slow and sheepish. “but, uh, what about you? i bet you have lots of crazy places.”

kian smiles at seojun as he speaks, giving him his undivided attention. “i’m so glad we’re roommates.” he voices. “i really thought i’d end up getting stuck with someone awful, but i got lucky. more than lucky.” he says. but something sort of shifts in the air when the boy asks him about love. kian doesn’t believe in love because it’s never existed in his life and he doesn’t think it ever will. but he can’t just throw out that kind of pessimism when seojun believes him to be this optimistic, nice boy. so, as always, he just tells him what he knows he wants to hear deep down. “yeah, of course.” he whispers with a nod. “maybe it’s childish to believe in such a thing, but i do. i can’t help it.” he explains, reaching over to take seojun’s hand in his own. he gives it a gentle squeeze, sending him a soft look despite the fact that he probably can’t see it. “you don’t need to worry about being alone forever, junnie.” he assures him. “you’re amazing, truly. anyone should be honored to be with you. i mean, you’re funny, nice, cute, compassionate, attentive— you literally have all the qualities that those boys in those romantic films have. except, you know, you’re actually real.” he smiles, giving the other’s hand another gentle squeeze. he lets out a breath through his nose, rolling his eyes playfully, as he pokes seojun in the side. “that’s why it’s fun. because it’s risky.” he points out. “bathroom at a party, huh? how very nineties.” he teases. “actually, i don’t.” he lies, averting his eyes as if he were embarrassed. “i’ve spent my whole life playing it safe. guess it’s hard to get out of that.”

MINJI: look who i just brought home MINJI: he looked so lonely at the kitty coffee shop ): MINJI: i named him seojun jr !!

KIAN: seojun jr? like after seojun yoon? KIAN: y’all fuckin or sumn lmao

Do you mind if I take my new car for a ride?

anvya‌:

annya finishes her handful of popcorn before answering his question, “i really love clue, it was my favorite. my dad would always win but he taught me his strategies and one time i actually guessed it on, like, the third round and my mom refused to play that game for a solid month.” she couldn’t help but laugh at the memories, soon longing to be back home and spend a whole day playing games and be around her parents. her life may have started off rough but she got lucky in the end to find people who finally cared about her. “i’ll have to make you play with me one day,” she smiles as her fingers trace through his hair before settling on his neck. to bring kian into a tradition she held so dear to her, she couldn’t help but grow a little excited with the idea. what if he came to meet her parents one day, and they got along so well, and soon he was invited to all the game nights and everything was just…perfect. “unless, uh, that’s too childish, of course. probably sounds lame,” she tries to wave it off with a laugh before reaching back for a few more bites of popcorn.

his next statement makes her raise an eyebrow before shaking her head, “you’re not boring at all. if anything, my picture is probably right next to the word boring in the dictionary.” maybe it was her own fault for feeling that way in the first place. there were plenty of times she could have gone out, hit up some random party and gained some regrettable experience, but at least it would be something. she chose to stay in her room and work on her designs, follow the rules and only hear about such experiences through the gossip vine at school. she’s pulled away from her thoughts one more, a horrible habit she does quite often, as kian peppers her with kisses that causes her smile to grow far too wide, soon happily kissing him back. this time, however, she pulls him back in, letting their lips collide for a little bit longer and a little bit stronger. there was no denying how kissing him always made swarm of butterflies fill her stomach, his lips almost like poison that she simply couldn’t get enough of. but soon she’s pulling away because maybe she was coming off too strong too fast… “can i ask you a stupid question?”

something akin to fondness tugs at the remnants of his heart when annya talks about spending time with her family and he vaguely wonders if his eyes ever light up like hers do. he wonders if there’s anything he’ll ever love that much. he finds that his body easily relaxes into her little touches though and he doesn’t even have to force a smile of adoration onto his face as he listens to her speak. maybe there is hope for him after all, he thinks. his brows nearly shoot into his hairline at her suggestion and he’s sort of taken aback. he’s been invited to family dinners before from many other partners, but he’s never once considered it. not until now. his features must betray him in that moment, conveying the fear that he feels, because annya is soon backtracking; she’s soon looking completely unsure of herself. and he hates it. “no, no—” he shakes his head, “not at all. it’s not lame or childish.” he assures her with a light laugh. he’s honored, in fact, but he knows that annya’s family would hate him. the real him, that is. but, then, he soon realizes that he’s jumping the gun and getting worked up over nothing. she’s inviting him to play with her, not her family. he deflates.

he quickly composes himself though (it’s what he’s good at) and beams at her. “if it means anything at all, you’re probably the most interesting person i’ve ever met.” he states. “you’re, dare i say, not like other girls.” he teases, smiling into their kiss. he isn’t one to let anyone truly take the reigns when it comes to his relationships, but he lets her. she moves at her own pace and when she deepens their kiss, he reciprocates happily. he’s debating in his head whether or not he should just go for it when her warmth disappears just as quickly as it came. he hates that he nearly sighs in frustration, but he blames it on him being a young dude. his body isn’t always exactly willing to cooperate. despite that, he’s quick to answer, “anything.” with a nod. “i mean, i’m not sure i’ll be able to answer but i’ll try.” he smiles encouragingly. “and i’m sure it’s not stupid, don’t say that. nothing you say is stupid.” he says, making sure that she has his undivided attention. his breath is trapped in his throat though, unsure of what she’s getting at and unsure if he can even tell the truth.

seojvns‌:

when kian scoots closer, jun can feel the nervousness seep in. not in a sense that he’s genuinely nervous - as his roommate, he probably knows jun in a way most don’t. instead, it’s the kind of nervousness that leaves jun feeling a little lightheaded, and he shifts a bit closer anyway. wanting to see the pages was an excuse, but not the reason. “i’d like that,” he says, his tone soft as he considered the thought, and he was naive enough to think it was a genuine possibility. it’s difficult for him to concentrate on planning anything, in all honesty, and planning has never been a strength of jun’s to begin with. he keeps stealing glances at kian when he should be looking at the pages, but his focus keeps slipping. he laughs softly when kian knocks his feet into jun’s, and again once he complains about the quiet. “if you didn’t want quiet, this is the worst place you could’ve picked,” he teases. he barely notices that the page turns, his attention on kian almost entirely now. as soon as he considers jun, and what he wants, he’s thrown off. “oh, uh…” it’s almost as though he’s not asked about what he wants very often. “i think camping would be fun,” he answers, on his side now as he faces kian. “just… getting lost in the woods somewhere,” he adds with a sheepish smile. 

“camping?” he quirks a brow, genuinely interested. “i didn’t take you for the camping type.” he admits, propping his head up with his elbow. “it’s really not all that fun, but the company makes it better. see, camping with my family? worst possible decision. a fat zero out of ten. but, camping with you? definitely somewhere like an eight out of ten.” he teases with a smile. even though it’s almost completely dark aside from the flashlight, kian’s eyes have adjusted and, even through it, he can make out the planes of seojun’s face. “sounds like the setup to an extremely cliche horror movie.” he points out. “one that we wouldn’t survive because, one—” he holds up a finger, “we’re not white. and, two—” he holds up another, “we’re not straight. those would both get us axed in the first ten minutes.” he explains, a certain glint in his eye that’s hidden by the darkness. “or, well, i guess i can only speak for myself. maybe you’re exclusively into girls. i dunno.” he shrugs, settling onto his back again as he reopens the book. “for all i know, you could be living a double life; fucking girls right here on this table in the library.” he says, breathing a light laugh through his nose.

seojvns‌:

as soon as kian wipes at his eyes, jun’s heart races with concern. “i… i wasn’t waiting, i just couldn’t sleep,” a lie to make himself seem less pathetic, but he and kian both know that wasn’t the truth. there wasn’t even a point in lying about it. “but i’m glad you’re home,” he adds, biting his lower lip as he watches kian’s movements from across the room. everything he does - each expression, each movement, jun watches intently. he knows something’s wrong almost immediately by his demeanour. “what happened?” he added, his voice softening, anxious that something bad happened to him. it was strange that jun felt so fiercely protective over kian, given that he was probably one of the last people who needed protecting. 

“you don’t seem fine,” he says in response, frowning at kian. and as soon as jun feels his hand caressing his cheek he can hear his heart beating loudly in his ears. his eyes remained on kian’s as he leaned into the touch. “it’s not even that late,” he protests, but he doesn’t even know what time it is. the only thing on his mind is how he wants to spend any time he can with kian. as soon as he pressed the button on his phone, jun’s eyes glance down at the screen, him noticing the crack immediately. “kian… what happened to your phone?” he asks, feeling a stronger sense of seriousness in his concern now, which is apparent in his tone. 

he follows kian, as loyal as ever, watching him as he removes his jacket and shoes, a frown still etched upon his expression. his worry for kian sometimes seemed unjustified, until moments like this. and then he’s pulled into a tight hug, which jun returns without a second thought, one hand around his waist with the other on the back of his neck as he holds kian against him. “don’t say things like that…” he mumbles in response, his words whinier than intended. “of course i wouldn’t, i care about you… so much…” and even that was an understatement. “who broke your heart? your phone?” he pulls away now to look at kian. 

despite the fact that jun’s not a confrontational person, he feels a sense of anger he’s unaccustomed to. the fact that someone hurt kian… it made him want to hit something. or someone. he places a hand on kian’s cheek, keeping close to him. “there’s nothing special about me,” he says with a sheepish laugh and a shake of his head, “but you,” he sighs, “there’s nothing about you that isn’t special.” and he’s never meant anything as much as he means that. “what do you need?” he asks, because he’s willing to give kian anything he wants.

he never really understood the whole “it’s like taking candy from a baby” quote until he met seojun. and now he gets it completely. it’s just so easy to get the boy exactly where he wants him that kian barely has to put in any work at this point. he falls into his trap every single time and he means it when he says that he’s lucky to have him. the other is so bad at hiding his emotions, too which kian eats up. he loves seeing each one fleeting across his face as kian’s appearance finally catches his eye and the concern grows deeper. he wants to be the center of seojun’s world, wants to be able to call him while he’s on a date or out with his closest friends, and have the boy drop everything he’s doing just to come to kian’s rescue. but he quickly shoves those thoughts to the back of his mind. it’s a little twisted, but he gets off on things like that. and how embarrassing would it be if he got hard in the middle of pretending to be heartbroken? he isn’t sure how he would explain that one away.

the feeling of seojun hugging him back just as tightly and assuring him that he cares about him so much causes kian to smile. but the boy pulls back so quickly that he almost doesn’t have time to slip back into his persona. almost. “just some dumb boy.” he replies, sniffling. “or maybe i’m the dumb boy for falling for his tricks.” he mumbles, looking down at his feet. that’s when he notices that their carpet truly is disgusting. though he doubts it’s from either one of them. the university has probably never cleaned it and now it’s forever tainted with bodily fluids, food, and god knows what else. a hand on his cheek pulls him from his thoughts and he looks up, melting into the touch easily. “please.” he huffs out a humorless, sad laugh. “there’s nothing special about me. i can’t do anything right.” he frowns. “but you’re perfect, junnie. you’re always here for me even when i don’t deserve it. i don’t know what i’d do without you.”

probably be infinitely more bored, for one. “can i—” he pauses, averting his eyes to the floor again, “can i sleep in your bed tonight?” he asks quietly as if he’s shy about bringing it up. he tries to force a blush onto his cheeks, but there are some things that even he can’t do. “it’s okay if you say no. i know you may have someone coming over or something.” he mumbles, toeing at the dirty carpet. “i just, i don’t wanna be alone. i know it’s a little pathetic but ... it’s just been a rough night.” he sighs, chewing on his bottom lip. he pretends like he’s too embarrassed to look at his roommate and turns his attention towards his phone. he picks it up from the tv stand and presses a few of the buttons to see if it still works then tucks it away into his back pocket.

“do we have any ice cream?” he asks, finally looking at seojun again. “i always hear girls talking about how that seems to help them through heartbreaks so maybe i should give it a shot.” he smiles, keeping it closed and small; distant even. “have you ever had your heart broken, junnie?” he asks, curiously. and he actually is genuinely curious. even if only because he could use it against him in the future. he lets his words trail off as he pads his way to his room in search of something to change into. their space is small so it isn’t hard for them to communicate with each other even when they’re in different rooms. grabbing the bottom of his shirt, he tugs it over his head and tosses it to the floor. he undresses slowly to not only give off an exhausted state, but also just in case seojun follows him. “i couldn’t imagine anyone breaking your heart. you’re too sweet.” he says as he undoes the button of his jeans.

k so ik i said i’d be on to do replies but........ i slept a LONG ass time KSKSKSKKSK then didn’t do literally anything cause ima lazy ass beetch and now i’m feelin like uh shit? lmao but i will try to do replies in between classes and after love y’all!

if you don’t eat your girl’s pussy i will