Look. One Of Wit’s Goals In Life Is To Poke Fun At People And Make Them Uncomfortable. I’m Choosing

I just finished part 4 of The Final Empire and I need to rage for a bit before I can keep reading.  Don't mind me. Ranting and wild theorizing under the cut.

"I represent the thing you've never been able to kill, no matter how hard you try. I am hope."

 speech and presented yourself as a STORMING IDIOT MARTYR and LET THE LORD RULER KILL YOU WITHOUT FIGHTING BACK. DAMMIT KELL.

This is why you spent all of that time building your reputation among the skaa and getting them to practically worship you. This is why you were asking Sazed about the Valla. You were reassuring yourself that the movement would continue even stronger after you sacrificed yourself. You hoped it wouldn't come to this, but you knew it would. You've trained Vin as your replacement.  She proved her competence in her fight against Shan and her power by seeing through your copper cloud. In the process she helped you understand what happened with Mare so that you could let it rest. SHE JUST ASKED YOU A COUPLE NIGHTS WHEN YOU WERE GOING TO LEAVE HER and you hedged. You didn't know exactly when, but you knew this was coming. You knew it would probably be soon. Dammit Kell.  

Elend, you lovable naive fool of a nobleman, you need to find Vin and help her hold herself together so she can take over. Or maybe so the pair of you can take the lead if you can rally your friends and make them actually care enough to act. She has just had her brother's training that everyone will abandon her reinforced though, so she's probably going to try to push you away in a form of emotional self defense. I hope you don't let her. She is unbelievably strong, but there is power in having people you truly care about that she doesn't fully understand yet (The very last thing Kelsier said to Vin was "You still have some things to learn about friendship, Vin. I hope someday you realize what they are."  Dammit Kell. That sounds like you knew you weren't going to be there. Maybe you had already decided that today was the day to get yourself martyred afterall.)

Other Thoughts:

* IF there really is an 11th metal (which I'm skeptical of), then there needs to be a 12th.  They come in pairs.  

* There is more to gold that Vin currently understands. Gold is disturbing and creepy and no one wants to burn it which also means no one has fully explored it.  

* Feruchemisty is going to become important.  Vin's experiment with Sazed's metal is going to come back.  It could have just happened to answer the question of whether the two can interact (because I was definitely questioning it before it happened) but I will be surprised if it never surfaces again. 

* In fact, some combination of Feruchemistry and Allomancy could very well be what lets the Lord Ruler survive things like having a spear run through his chest.  Oh Storms.  What if the reason he has been so intent on killing Keepers is because there is a way to store their life force in a metal (Gold? If I had to guess it would be gold) and then he can steal that life force by burning the metal.  It would be like Allomancy meets Feruchemistry meets Chromatic Breath and the immortality of the Returned in Warbreaker.  

Hello and welcome to Cooking with Kaly.  I decided I wanted to make chouta. It was an adventure. 

We know that the meatballs are made by mixing flangria with ground lavis, forming it into balls, battering it and frying it.  To create these meatballs we therefore need something to represent flangria, something to represent lavis, and a way to put it together without egg (since eggs are unlikely to be used in cheap street food on Roshar.)

I happened to have ground turkey in the freezer that I had gotten on sale at some point. It seemed like a reasonable stand in for flangria. Given the range of ways lavis is used, I feel like corn is a reasonable earth analogue, so ground lavis gets to be corn meal.  I mixed the 1.5 lbs of meat with 1/4 cup of cornmeal, 1 Tbsp chili powder, 2 tsp cumin, and 2 tsp oregano, formed it into small balls (maybe a heaping Tbsp of meat per ball?  I didn’t measure), then covered them and put them in the fridge for a while to let the flavors meld.  

Before cooking them, I rolled them in cornmeal, dipped them in water (some but not all of the cornmeal will fall off), then rolled them in the cornmeal again.  I fried them in a thin layer of canola oil in a cast iron skillet until they were golden brown.  The cornmeal gets all crispy and the flavors are great.  I’m a big fan of these meatballs. (note:the plate in this picture is small, the meatballs are not giant. There are also a lot more meatballs not shown)

For the flatbread, I mixed 1 cup mashed potatoes (since tubers seem to be common on Roshar) with 1/4 cup cornmeal, a heaping 1/4 cup flour and 1 tsp baking soda. I kneaded the mixture until I had a dough that I could press out into a decent sized flatbread.  This made enough for 2. Transfer the pressed out flat bread *carefully* to the frying pan and make sure you don’t try to flip it too soon or it will tear and be a mess. This made a decent flatbread. I think the recipe needs work though.

I used the pan drippings from frying the meatballs to make the gravy, but I didn’t have any good broth to use so it came out a little bland.  I think drippings gravy is the right idea here, I just didn’t do it well.

Overall verdict: This definitely feels like street food. It was tasty and has the potential to be amazing once I get the flatbread and gravy right. Nomnomnom. It’s not going to win any awards for being good for you, but that’s not what this is about. 

From Words of Radiance, Ch. 41.

The Sorting

I read a lot and have a lot of books that I enjoy, but a friend recently introduced me to the Stormlight Archive and it has inspired a level of obsessiveness that I haven't had since I met the Harry Potter series back in middle school. My new obsession led me to the Cosmere Challenge tumbler and then the current prompt led to this.  Hopefully someone else will also find this entertaining :-)

Rough premise:  Something has caused Shallan, Kaladin, Adolin and Renarin to be thrown into the Hogwarts world with their character development through the end of Words of Radiance but Hogwarts aged.  I'm imagining that it is Harry's 4th or 5th year and that Renarin is Harry's age and the others are older. I have multiple plot bunnies in my head that require variations on the premise.  Regardless, here is what I imagine happening when they are sorted:

The sorting hat barely touches Adolin's head before calling out “Gryffindor!” Adolin doesn't know quite how to handle the new situation he has found himself in and falls back on what he does understand as a defense. Unfortunately, this means he comes across as a superficial person who is extremely cocky and a huge flirt and the general impression that everyone gets is that they have been saddled with a new McLaggan. It takes several months and lots of set backs while Adolin learns how to interact with a world where the fact that he is a lighteyes Highprince is irrelevant, but he eventually finds his way and is accepted into the Gryffindor fold.

The sorting hat is less sure what to do with Renarin. It recognizes his quiet intelligence and wit and considers Ravenclaw, but Renarin wants Gryffindor. He has been told from the time he was very young that he is not cut out to be a warrior to the point that he has internalized the idea that he can't be. Despite this, he has always wanted to be able to follow in his father's and brother's footsteps. He is not at all confident that he truly belongs in Gryffindor, but he does know that that is where he really wants to be. The sorting hat considers and tells him that it would probably be truer to himself for Renarin to go to Ravenclaw, but that Gryffindor will also help him grow and respects his choice. Once he is in Gryffindor, Neville recognizes him as a kindred spirit and takes him under his wing. He is shocked the first time he has one of his minor epileptic fits and the other boys just shrug it off – after all, it is nothing compared to Harry's Voldemort induced visions. It boggles his mind that, for once, he is more popular than his brother and that it is more common here for him to need to defend Adolin's character than the other way around.

Kaladin doesn't believe it at first when they tell him a storming hat is going to sort him into a “house,” whatever that nonsense is. It sounds like a lighteyes thing – house Kholin, house Davar – and he wants nothing to do with it. Further explanations lead to the conclusion that it is more like being sorted into different barracks, which is at least something he can understand. Then they bring the hat out and it is an ancient thing that talks using a rip in its fabric as a mouth. Kaladin seriously considers throwing his hands up and walking out, but Adolin and Renarin are here, which means he needs to be here as well, so he grits his teeth and plays along. They put the hat on his head and he can suddenly hear it talking in his mind. Apparently these people have trapped a spren in a hat. The hat laughs at this thought and responds that it is not a bad analogy, but assures him that it is fine and there is no real hatspren that needs rescuing. At this point, to the surprise of the hat, Syl joins in the conversation. After much confusion, the sorting hat decides it is going to have to treat Kaladin and Syl as a single entity. It almost sends them to Gryffindor, but then realizes Kaladin's strong sense of honor is deeply rooted in his belief in the powers of hard work and doing what is right even when it isn't easy and sends them to Hufflepuff. Syl is pleased by this, but Kaladin is so overwhelmed by the whole business at this point that his only immediate reaction is to grumble that it is going to be hard to keep an eye on the storming Gryffindor Highprinces when he is in a different house.

Shallan gives the hat it's biggest challenge – at least until it discovers Pattern. Her dedication to her family and the hardwork and determination she showed while convicing Jasnah to taker her as a ward make her a solid candidate for Hufflepuff. Her clever use of lightweaving and willingness to do anything to achieve her goals, despite the questionable legality/morality of it, makes her the epitome of a Slytherin. She has the Gryffindor tendency to dive into things without fully thinking them through and a Ravenclaw's passion for learning. In the end it is Pattern's philosophy that “Truth is individual” and that “Your truth is what you see” that tips the scales and makes the hat decide to send them to Slytherin. Once in Slytherin, Shallan concludes that what she learned while figuring out how to navigate the Ghostbloods will serve her well in her new situation. It is going to be a challenge, but, with Pattern's help, she is absolutely up for it. [Note: There is so much potential here I can't even...  We will see if I can get any of it to solidify. If anyone else wants to play with it (or any of the rest of it) I'm totally cool with that.] 

In an alternate premise where Renarin is the only one who has jumped universes:

The sorting hat recognizes Renarin's courage and inner strength and wants to put him in Gryffindor. However, for the first time Renarin is in a place where no one knows him, where there are no preset expectations for him. In this new world, no one thinks it odd for a man to want to read and write. No one knows that he is the son of a Highprince. No one thinks he is a failure for not being comfortable around swords in general and shardeblades in particular. Gryffindor feels too much like the expectations he has escaped. He thinks Ravenclaw sounds acceptable. He would prefer not to be thrown into any preconceived classification, but if he has to have one, scholar sounds like a breath of fresh air. He thinks this might be an expectation he could actually live up to. The sorting hat grumbles about it and tells him that Gryffindor would be good for him, but accepts Renarin's choice in the end.

AHHHH I just discovered that somewhere in the convoluted process of getting the file from SoundRecorder to tumblr the first line got lost... Why didn't anyone say anything?!  Corrected version coming shortly!

Corrected version can be found at http://kalynaanne.tumblr.com/post/111933243197/ok-completely-new-post-because-the-other-one because tumblr apparently won't let me fix this one *rolls eyes*

Ok.  I figured that if I did the lullaby from Shadows, that meant I should also do Shallan's lullaby from Words of Radiance. I sat down and messed around with it until I came up with a tune I like, so, here, have another cosmere lullaby.

F is for Frillbloom.  For more on frillbloom, visit the coppermind!

I just finished Brandon Sanderson's The Rithmatist. Now, any time I read a fantasy novel with an interesting magic system, I imagine what it would be like to have said magic (don't we all?).  This magic system seems particularly well suited to me - it calls out to both my math and artistic sides.  I think I could make a rather good rithmatist.  The freaking 9 point circle is an important part of the magic system.  I can't even.  

I bet that the 6 point defenses don't actually require that the 6 points be equally spaced.  I bet they could actually be anywhere as long as you build the rest of the defense properly.  The Mystic Hexagon theorem has got to be relevant to this magic system.  I bet you can even use the Mystic Hexagon theorem to build 8 point defenses where the extra two points come from the line dictated by the Mystic Hexagon.  And when that line doesn't intersect the circle, it would be a natural (possibly required) place to put a Line of Forbiddance. There will probably be rithmatic drawings showing up here...

Also, my math notes often have non-math doodles in them.  <3 chalklings

Melody and Joel are fantastic. I like them a lot. There are things I need to process before you get more about them though.

PSA for Mistborn Cosplay

I was at a craft store today (this is always a dangerous thing) and was looking for a thing on the baking supplies aisle and I made a connection:

If you ever want vials of things that look like metal that you can actually for real eat, this is where you should go. There is such a thing a powdered food coloring and it comes in metallics. There are also vials of things that are basically silver and gold food grade confetti.   

I'm not certain what kind of liquid I would suspend them in and you would still have to figure out how to pull off your special effects after drinking them, but there is a way to have vials of "metal" that aren't poison.

Because Syl would be fascinated by lava lamps and try to emulate them.  Clearly.