Tired But The Migraine Meds My Castmate Shared With Me Earlier Had Caffeine So I'm Still Awake. At Least

I'm trying to figure out more about Tumblr right now by posting a bunch of random things, so here's a story from my childhood;

I live really close to a creek, and I spent a lot of time around there as a kid. There was this one specific little pool that had a waterfall feeding into it that my friends and I really loved. It was only a few blocks away, so we'd always go there a bunch on hot summer days.

There were two spots you could use if you wanted to do a jump into the water instead of wading into it. One was a little rocky ledge about 3 feet above some deeper water. It was really perfect to do little plunges off of. 10/10 very fun. The other spot however, was this short and slanted overhang that stood about 6 feet above some shallow rocky water. If you wanted to jump off it you had to make an effort to jump out into the deeper area so you wouldn't break your legs landing on sharp rocks.

One day when I was about 9 or 10, I was at this pool with two of my friends, their dogs, and one of their parents. We were playing around and taking turns jumping off the overhang. I was a fairly unathletic kid, and it always took me a moment to prepare myself to be able to jump out far enough as to not land on the rocks. One of my friends was keeping lookout since the dogs were running around and playing with each other. She gave me the all clear and I ran toward the ledge, but I hesitated just long enough that the dogs had moved from their position farther away and had begun chasing each other. Next thing I know, they come in and sweep my legs out from under me. I hit the ground and start sliding across the rocky surface of the overhang.

Despite this ledge being only about six feet above the water, the rocks underneath were sharp and I was also quite weak and fragile at that age, so that knowledge combined with the adrenaline made me totally convinced I was about to fall to my death. (I probably would've just broken a bone or got a nasty cut or something, but ten year old brain full of adrenaline wasn't thinking the most logically) I was holding onto this tiny plant for dear life while slowly sliding farther down every time I tried to reorient myself to get back up. As a result of all the wet children dripping water all over when jumping off, it was very slippery.

My friend notices how I'm panicking and unable to get up and asks me if I need help. I was a very socially anxious child, and hated the idea of burdening anyone. So as I am sliding down this ledge, convinced I'm about to die, I hear my friend ask if I need help. My dumbass said no. I was lucky that she ignored me and pulled me up by my shoulders regardless. I find it kind of hilarious that despite being absolutely terrified, I still thought it would be better to fall and get injured than just ask for help.

I got out of it with just some scratches on my lower back, and I never told my parents because I knew they would freak out and never let me go there again. Still haven't told them to this day lol.

Adults are always so concerned about me doing extracurriculars.

But-but you have bad grades because you don't do your homework!

Hate to break it to you, but that homework wouldn't be done even if I didn't have rehearsal

But you keep complaining about being in pain!

Yes, and I handle it. I'd still be in pain anyways.

But you aren't sleeping or eating enough!

True, but I'm working on it. It would be the same if I weren't in theatre

But you obviously shouldn't be doing this thing you like because you're a mess and you have other things that you should do!

Look. If I weren't doing theatre or extra choir stuff, I still would be mostly the same. I wouldn't do my busy work homework that I don't need to do to learn. I would be in pain having to move around and do things and live my life. I would have problems with self care, and mental health, and schoolwork.

But one thing that would be different? I wouldn't be as happy.

Theatre and singing have always been the best things in my life. I've made so many friends and become so much more confident in myself. I feel so amazing getting to do all these things. The only thing taking that away would accomplish is making me miserable.

I wouldn't be focusing more on my schoolwork. I'd be focusing more on the big chunk of my soul that was just ripped out. I wouldn't be magically cured of my physical and mental ailments. I would just have no reason to get out of bed in the morning anymore, or do anything productive or meaningful.

Trying to take away my happiness is not an effective solution. That's how I end up back in and out of the hospital every two months.

fucking insane to me that people can be mean to kids. this thing is four to five shoe boxes tall and youre shouting at it ?? ? what is your damage the mf just got here.

The oddity of a theatre kid's notebook while she is trying to memorize lines on a time crunch

@my-girl-boyfriend

im a big fan of long fish. sturgeon, arapaima, gar. just normal fish that have been stretched out

so one of the high school buses flipped over and this was the picture they used in the newspaper

Manifesting that somebody Does It before the end of the year

Within one day of getting a fitness watch, it has:

1. Called me out on my sleeping habits

2. Shown how I barely move all day

3. Buzzed multiple times because my heart rate got up to like, 160.

I imagine there will be more things to come from this.

WHAT