░ ┊ @hcathens 。• ◞
— ” true. no one here can keep up with me, i’m aware. but you can work harder than this, josten, and if you don’t stop whining and just focus, you’ll never getting better. “ — replied, but a quiet voice in his mind - his conscience, maybe? - reminded him that he already had lost track of time. for how long were they training?? it doesn’t matter. he needed to be sure that they could win.
for once , he appreciates the floor under his weight; legs stretched yet body unresponsive to whatever the mind attempts setting on ... what , with shoulders hunched and arms laying low , his hands resting in the gap between his lower limbs. the only reason that neil is becoming aware of his limitations is when numbness begins to settle along with slight tremors that he can feel in his fingers.
the way that a thousands’ worth of exy racquet slipping through his grip during the recent drill several minutes ago is a tall tell.
‟ I’m trying. ❜ voice strained , holding back frustrations veiled in the exhaustion creeping in his system , and avoiding having another tiring same old arguments with kevin. of course there’s no time for neil to sit on his ass because the games aren’t going to win by themselves; but —— ‟ You don’t need to remind me about the nooses around our necks. ❜
it hurts ... but nothing worse that he hasn’t survived before. the anger dissipates under the silent acceptance and grumbling under his breath , annoyed that as when he stands up , the redhead has to hold onto his knees for a while before straightening up. wincing slightly , frowning greatly at the disappointment he received when he moves his right shoulder in a circular motion. testing , testing.
‟ ...Let’s go. ❜
‟ 𝗧𝗼 𝗯𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗶𝗿, 𝗜 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱'𝘃𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝗜 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻'𝘁 𝗯𝗲 𝗯𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗜 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗵𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝘆𝘀𝗲𝗹𝗳, 𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱 ' 𝐖𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐇𝐞𝐥𝐥 ' . ❜
I still have an hour or so until my birthday is over and truthfully. It hasn’t been great. More mentally than anything or anyone’s own fault really. But doing this for my past few birthdays have offeresd to lift some weight so I figured why not. Plus there’s no time like anyday to appreciate some of the amazing people I’ve met on here who have offered such profound kindness and comfort through small acts of love and big ones. I genuinely appreciate all of you. And just wanted to extend a small thank you for another year! ( I’m tired and emo oops.) Still though. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ —— xoxo cas
( Disclaimer: Absolutely in no particular order. Its late and I’m just trying to cram as much usernames as I can remember. Also sorry if I forget to add you. I appreciate u tho.)
@shroudedheart / @tiderider ( and too many blogs ok but i love them all / @lcvelj / @arsonwitch / @endlessfables / @tempestbrought / @horrormaestro / @nightlyhorrors /@metuant / @owncreator / @arghunt / @siilverbulleted / @seesbright / @affcgato / @cxpt / @outlawiism / @shotbled / @bytheanchor / @rexquondcm / @fightwing / @griefknown / @abulous / @leadersdontrun / @portectorisms / @shemasked /@nosestealer / @ashesrise / @murios / @darlingflight / @airbornegoldenboy / @pumpcursed / @fiightcr / @forcewoken / @ithurielbled / @hadncchoice / @venusiiian / @awantedman/ @scartissuexx / @myhiraeth / @contradictivs / @tatteredfur / @ofangelicblood/ @solenama / @rayofsunshinc /@kawiikiller / @cosmiicsouls / @brittlethorns / @thelittleqveen / @hiddensteel / @backchct / @normaltothemax / @jozthen /@agentxiii / @lionkinged / @prlman / @voltages / @broken-somnium / @kolhearted / @teufelbcy / @synthes / @liveslost
░ ┊ @shedetect 。• ◞
“𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚒’𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚞𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚘𝚏 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚢 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚔,” she retorts just as snappily, though maybe the truth had no part in her statement at all. she doesn’t take it back, though, just returning to her work until the lock clicks and the door swings open at her touch. standing up, she doesn’t look at him while she puts away the lockpick case in its pocket on her bag. “this is called hedging my bets,” she continues finally, “because i see this two ways. if you were going to break in here anyway, there’s a slim chance you’d have accepted the guest room at my house. on the other hand, you’re more likely to be caught without my help at all, so i’m doing what i can.” finally, her eyes raise to his face. “am i wrong?”
it doesn’t slip unnoticed with the creak of the door seconds later that the girl has skills. for why , he’s not sure , and what he thinks something that won’t concern him ... now potentially concerns him. not enough to work out a lot of worries he’ll address as soon as the locked grief in the back of his head finally stops banging against his mental barriers every time he gets closer to reliving a night on the beach. and this isn’t the time for that , or maybe not ever.
‟ SO MUCH. ❜ quiet voice refuses to fade in lieu with chest constricting ‘pon knowledge that she deduced from somewhere , something that neil could’ve basically handed her over. his mind races on memories and circumstances when he could’ve made mistakes , but nothing comes up; for with every shot of pain remembered along strict words echoed by his mother’s harsh lessons , how can he ? then again , that’s a wrong argument. neil immediately made his first mistake when he broke his mother’s absolute rule right after ... california.
hands tighten ‘round the strap of his duffel bag , gauging the level of threat that this girl poses —— like all before her does. a flare of irritation has been reluctantly tampered when he responds as curtly as he can , ‟ I don’t care about whatever gamble you got , but I’m fine. Leave me alone. ❜
it’s annoying how one room where he feels as concrete as who he is right now has been compromised , all because neil figures that this one is just too nosy. he gives her a HARD STARE , mouth pursed and held back before he regrets anything; and quickly turns around to walk away. maybe he can break in the laboratory then leave immediately around dawn. ‟ Mind your own business of not picking on my business. ❜
seasons 1-2. feel free to change pronouns / titles as needed !
❛ i won’t have to do anything. ❜
❛ everyone’s laughing at us. ❜
❛ you don’t know that. ❜
❛ we can’t not laugh. ❜
❛ nothing is going to happen. ❜
❛ you’ve got a phenomenal voice. ❜
❛ you think i’m being cheesy? all right, i am being cheesy. ❜
❛ i just want something real to happen. just once. ❜
❛ have you prepared a speech, is that it? ❜
❛ we’re so out of our minds with desperation, we don’t know any better. ❜
❛ show us something real and free and beautiful. ❜
❛ it’s only so much wonder we can bear. ❜
❛ fuck you, that’s what it boils down to. ❜
❛ i’m a serial monogamist. i’m staying faithful to my cornflakes right now. ❜
❛ you lied. ❜
❛ not everything that isn’t true is a lie. ❜
❛ you know when you suspect something, it’s always better when it turns out to be true. ❜
❛ it’s totally batshit crazy i can even talk to you. ❜
❛ i shouldn’t have drunk last night. next time, ould you try and stop me? ❜
❛ sorry, hang on. that’s a very difficult sentence to process. ❜
❛ there’s no history to you. ❜
❛ you nearly killed us back there. ❜
❛ yeah, well, i wasn’t expecting you to be there, was i? ❜
❛ i’ve just saved your lives. ❜
❛ a wee “thank you” would be nice. ❜
❛ i should’ve just run you over. ❜
❛ you’re not going to win. ❜
❛ why not be honest? ❜
❛ i was lashing out. i wasn’t even articulate. ❜
❛ i notice you keep that pretty quiet. ❜
❛ so i return to my original question, is that really what this is for? ❜
❛ prove me wrong. hm? speak. ❜
❛ i’m here to ask you an important favour. ❜
❛ look, come on, there is a little bit of a conversational drought happening here. ❜
❛ not big on conversation. ❜
❛ practice makes perfect. ❜
❛ maybe i’ll bore you. ❜
❛ people want to be noticed. they don’t like to be shut out. it makes them feel invisible. ❜
❛ people just want to be heard. ❜
❛ you’re a locked box. i mean, that’s a good thing. ❜
❛ most people are too easy to read, especially if you know minds. ❜
❛ using party tricks to pick up girls isn’t knowing minds. ❜
‟ No one asks you to. ❜ damage control is already underway , with what transpired of misunderstandings between the players ... which can prove a bit inconvenient for neil’s interests if left unchecked. after all , he’s just here to play. ‟ And no one is expecting anyone , really. Unless they have the balls to speak up , they could’ve already said shit right from the start. ❜
░ ┊ @stckhlmr 。•◞
“ i am not taking the fall for that. ” // @jozthen
stefan , dealing with @scarfwere :
neil / nathaniel , dealing with isaac :
░ ┊ @scarfwere 。• ◞
a good friend. When did he last have one? Matt? He guessed, if he ever counted as one. A small tentative smile. A faint tilt of his head and he catches wind of the good breeze before it finds him. Him still unsure even when it comes.
Eventually, it breaks out into a grin. A small one. Not large enough that it takes all over his face but good enough to make a dent. He almost turns around to double check ; make sure his Father wasn’t around to ruin it. But a surreptitious glance over his shoulder confirms what he felt in the moment : relief.
“ so ── we’re still friends? “
people like him, his mother and he, don’t have friends. by definition, a ‘ friend ’ is one of her connections forging high-quality documents for them to pass through airports or one of those old ones who are now chasing them to the ends of the earth. stefan hears it coined a lot around as he gets by and wonders how easily the term draws such warm expression on isaac’s face. as if stefan wouldn’t be gone after a few months’ time and wouldn’t be forgotten ... just like the rest of his other selves.
‟ Can’t really stop you from doing whatever you want. ❜ the raven-haired boy shrugs, as indifference lace with a piss poor excuse that he can fall back onto, a reason why he allowed whatever this is to happen. at the end of the day, stefan will still be put down and with him, are memories of a mediocre, normal boy’s life. as much as stefan can already feel the ire of his mother once she finds out and when she does, the pounding within his chest covered by nonchalance overlapped the threat of her wrath and even if he doesn’t understand why isaac seemed cautious despite his insistence on keeping a connection with stefan, he doesn’t bother poking into it.
‟ Usually, everyone doesn’t see the point of entertaining new kids for far too long; they come and go and fade away within a week. What’s up with you ? You seem hell-bent into ... whatever you’re up to. ❜ if stefan also sports NATHANIEL’s similar bluntness and lack of effort to understand social cues, he also doesn’t bother thinking much about it.