Omfg One Of My Chorus-mates Is Gonna Be Singing Eidlewise(? The German Song?) At One Of Thee Competitions

#aaaaaaaaaaaaaa #i love when artists do shit like this #it mkaakes me #so happy #because it reminds me of #this book called #'the black kids' by #Christina Hammonds Reed #and she quoted someone #i forget their name #atm #and the quote is #'i am nobody- who are you?- are you nobody- nobody too?' #and now I can't take it anymore #thx

YOU ARE YOU. BUT WHO ARE YOU?

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KO-FI

"I'd like to go with you."

"Even though I haven't fixed the air conditioning in this car?"

"Even so."

American Fuji, p.277 S. Backer - 2001

Weird Dreams, Pt 4

1.

I was living it large at the beach (In Roblox? But also irl??) and i sorta had a girlfriend who was a moviestar and we kinda banged on the beach.... Then we banged at her beach house.... Yeah

2.

Zombie/The Walking Dead dream??

First i was in the woods fighting off zombies wih my team, then it wasn't just zombies but hella other bs too, so we got pushed back into this cave/sunken building place. I had to go back out to grab some Macguffin but i also needed to watch out for the extra bs that started chasing me back to the building.

I barely made to to shut the door, unfortunately one of my team mates who happened to be out with me didn't make it- torn to peices behind the window of the door.

The scenery sorta changed but not the vibes. Zombies poppped up inside the building so we halled off a section for ourselves and i went home(?, i was home before all this happened maybe, but i dont remember). My family needed to get out of our neighborhood and into a shelter quickly so we packed up the car and went to go pick up my younger siblings from the mall.

It was hell in there.

Mom got the 2 youngest kids and so i went to go find my other sister and some nail polish for some reason. I kept getting lost because the place was basically a parkour center with terrible red, single elevators clumped in groups of four. I kept going up and down trying to find my sister and also round up kids that were stuck- but those other kids were also better at leaving then me. Then i found out that my sister left. So i hopped in the car and we drove away from that godforsaken mall/horrible Target obby place.

Fast forward im stuck in zombie land as a fighter? At night it got really scary (I actually thought this shit was real lmao) and i was doing my best to fend off the zombies from our part of the building (it was a school). One of the zombies turned into a weird pale demon thing that was super fast and I nearly died trying to get away.

So many zombies outside- stupid people not knowing how to be quiet and close their doors so they didn't get killed.

Screaming. Chaos. Commotion and confusion.

I went outside to help someone and i had to hid in under a manhole and in a truck. Bolted back to our building thing (we were in the middle of a city). I got holed up in a sorta bunker thing with some other soldiers and we held down the fort from some zombie's tryna pop out from underneath us (i was horrible at my job but with really good aim).

At some point we tried to explore the school and we needed to hide from and fight off monsters while collecting supplies.

Our bunker got switched to a room with stairs/catwalks and it also lead downstairs to a sewer system with that one fast and pale zombie from earlier (btw it was a cross between a lizard, alligator and a hairless dog).

Some dude and his gf didn't want to listen and nearly led themselves to he brink of death because they kept touching sh!t and inviting people into the bunker that protected them (it was like a buffer between safe and unsafe).

After getting them out, the fast zombie came back and tormented us. My chemistry teacher 😭 was really adamant about me and my friend getting our education even during the apocalypse so she helped by directing me to kill the fast zombie. I nearly got my friend killed (she was healing her cat while crocheting) and most likely scarred her for life (in dream) but everything was fine.

The night was over. All of that was one night 🙂↕️

During the morning when things calmed down, it was okay enough to leave the bunker for a bit. My chem teacher led us upstairs and i got soooo much praise.

Then i left out of the main doors and woke up.

3.

....Last Night, April 11, 2025

I had a dream that my sister died.

It was the same dream in which one of my friends was gonna get married.

We were at a weird jungle gym thing that reached from.the ground all the way into the sky.

I knew she was gonna die when i first started dreaming.

Mom had poisoned her or something snd left her to dry out on this one slide thing. It was too high up for us to reach but she was up there. My other friend got married and we went 3 days not knowing where my sister was.

I finally looked up.

Her body browm and dried, you could see her silhouette through the plastic of the slide. I don't remember exactly why mom killed her.

She was tired and angry and i guess jealous(?) of her all the same. That dream ended with mom going insane and me running away.

The next had to do with surviving robots that looked like transformers trying to blast me with lasers i think.

I dont remember anything after that much.

Choice - Jack Stauber

Part 1 (somehow it didn't post the first time? Idek)

Love

Brain

Heart

Control

Caffinate

Melatonin

Love

...

Heart

Control

Part 2 link:

Tumblr

Choice - Jack Stauber

Part 2 Caffinate You get me going ... Brain Heart Control Caffinate Melatonin

between the numerous black bloggers and transfems getting the scorched earth treatment, and the rampant zionism, transmisogyny, antisemitism, antiblackness, sinophobia, etc etc it should be clear that matt and the rest of the staff on tumblr's team Aren't good people

Marble Hornets sold me fent behind the gas station at 11 pm and then I got an aneurysm

real teenage dream x)

What is started getting freaky with the number 9.

Cuz like.... 9??? NINE??? ITS SO PUNK ROCK MY DUDES

So the plan was that i was gonna post something totally epic and relatable but I forgor but trust it would've done numbers

I was messing around today :)

I don't think my paternal relatives care about us as much.

Context: my grand-uncle (paternal grandmother's brother) died about a month or so ago. We did not get invited to the funeral. No letter or even from my grandma, dad, uncle, aunt NOTHING.

(when me and my siblings were younger, we were quite close with him. As we got older, he wanted to be left alone more and more. We talked sparsely and it was only for minutes at the time at best)

I haven't been in close contact with any of my dad's family since February. Only my dad has come by like twice.

I haven't heard from my older aunt's who I haven't seen since elementary school nor my cousins from that period either.

If we talked at least every 1-2 months then it'd be good, but I haven't heard of them reaching out and asking about us in like half a year or more.

I miss them but I don't think they miss me...

Or do they??