The Punchline Of It All Is That Your Fave Was, In Fact, Problematic--not Least Because We Are All Bumbling

Pretty funny that everybody on this entire web site is a fucking mammal.

ok im going to #seriouspost for a second here. I don't think Harry Potter is a manifesto. I think it was a flawed passion project that millennials latched onto because of the fantasy of sticking it to their mean teachers and arbitrarily categorizing themselves (hogwarts houses; it's the thinking millennial's astrology). I think the fact that the series got popular when and how it did was very much a product of its time.

I don't think Harry Potter is the biggest symbol of JKR's bigotry. I think the most flagrant sign of that was how she responded to critics. I watched her become radicalized in real time. I watched how she doubled down on her racism when she was called out for the ways she promoted her tragically mid fantastic beasts movies. I watched her chase marginalized teenagers with a double digit follower count off of twitter for daring to criticize her thought process, and no one with any kind of power standing against her because she was the one who was paying them. This isn't to say Harry Potter is without flaws. This is to say she really didn't give a shit about that. Getting rich and powerful is a hell of a drug, and she had enough sycophants that she had no reason to care about what her critics were saying.

She was convinced that she was a martyr; a voice for the unheard; a leader for the ages, so of course her detractors were the bad guys. And I think we should take this to heart. We should see this as an example of how easy it is to get radicalized; if you think of yourself as a paragon of virtue, you are going to think that whatever you see as good and right is an objective fact. Most people don't know this, but the majority of terfs start out as trans allies. You are not immune to propaganda! You are not immune to falling into dangerous ideologies!!!

This is why the most important thing you can do as an activist is to listen. Do NOT think you're above being wrong; do NOT develop a god complex; do NOT form an identity out of being right all the time. Involve yourselves in the groups you claim to speak for. Listen to trans women; share resources that help trans women; familiarize yourself with the diversity of experiences that trans people have and the struggles they face.

No, none of you are as bad as JKR because you don't have her money or her power. You will likely never have the capacity for harm she does. But check yourselves. Do not affirm yourselves into thinking you always have the moral high ground. Watch yourselves; humble yourselves; check yourselves for signs of cult behavior and internalized prejudice. You are always learning. You will always be learning. Do not allow yourselves to get a power trip from brushing off marginalized voices.

So, my whole life I thought my favorite color was purple. “What’s your favorite color?” “Purple.” Always. That was my answer. And it wasn’t a lie. I truly believed my favorite color was purple.

And then my sophomore year of high school, someone I had just met in art class asked me if my favorite color was green. I have her a weird look and responded, “no, purple.” She shook her head “nope, you literally wear something green every day. Your favorite color is definitely green.” And I laughed it off. We’ve been friends ever since, and she hasn’t let it go. “Where’s the green?” “There’s the green!” And I never thought twice about it.

But lately I’ve started noticing that my closet is full of green clothes. And while I do find the color purple very beautiful, I actually prefer green. And I find the color green just, very attractive. And I realized that green is my fucking favorite color.

This makes it sound like green being my favorite color was forced upon me, but honestly it was nothing like that. Green has always been my favorite color, I was just not able to see it and accept it.

And I’ve also recently realized that when I write this short story, you could replace a few choice words and this would be the explanation of how I realized I was gay.

one thing we forget about people on the internet is that we know almost nothing about them. Would i know if somebody's kid has congestive heart failure? Only if they tell me! Would I know if somebody is experiencing severe mental health problems? Only if they tell me! Would I know if someone has cancer? Only if they tell me!

This is a weird thing about being online. We can know a lot about someone--this person is a Christian, and a father of three children, and married to that person, and likes Cheerios--but we only know what they told us, which is--of course--almost nothing.

And yet, human pattern-makers that we are, we inevitably fill in the gaps in information with assumptions that are based on whether we kinda assume the best of someone or kinda assume the worst of them. Like, I do not imagine that Elon Musk came home from his hard work making everyone's life worse yesterday and held a sick friend's hand as that friend died--but of course that's possible! I don't know!

This happened to me a lot when I was on tumblr the first time. People often filled in gaps by assuming the worst in me, and that's fair enough, I guess. These days, people tend to (although not exclusively) fill in the gaps by assuming the best of me. But both are assumptions informed by extremely limited information, which is almost impossible to remember in the daily grind of Internet Life.

A Lovejoy Song is a Little Black Dress

Lovejoy’s lyrics are dense, with very few throw-away lines. Will Gold never just takes an easy ride on a metaphor.  (No shade to metaphors.) It seems he doesn’t write songs, he gives birth to them, and it must be exhausting. 

As a collection, the songs cover just about every possible relationship stumble a floundering person can experience.  There are bouts of hubris, self-loathing, envy, self-confidence, insecurity, and half a dozen other feelings. There is something relatable and personal for everyone.  Listen to the words -- these are songs you sing, not songs you hum -- and you will find something that describes your experience. Someone knows what you have been through and figured out how to express it. If a line doesn’t fit, just wait two bars and try on the next one.  These poems work for everyone. 

And then there’s the constant swapping of perspective.  Will oscillates between first and third person. He talks to her, about her, to him, about him, to him about her, and about himself from the outside and the inside.  In the same song.  At first it drove me nuts. It made me work a little to follow the narratives, flipping the lyrics on their head to make them work.  The narratives are compelling enough to make it worth the effort.  But then I came to love it. 

I love the POV shifting for the versatility it permits. No matter your gender or who you are pining for, there is a verse that speaks directly to you. Despite the straightness of the overall theme, Relationship Misadventures of a Cis-Het Man, there are countless opportunities for queer interpretations if the lyrics are taken in pieces. Gay men (and straight and lesbian slash enthusiasts) get to hear Wilbur Soot sing he or him, if only for a verse. He sings about liking and not liking new boyfriends and girlfriends…Is his ex dating a girl now? Is the ex a boy or a girl? Whose girlfriend is she? Are you jealous of him or of her? Who were you in the back seat of the car with?!? Anyone you want it to be.  These work for men, women, straight, gay, and my favorite, heteroflexible. Sure, we know what he meant. But choose your own adventure.  

A Lovejoy song is a Little Black Dress. Versatile. Sexy. Always appropriate. Now go put it on.

I finally made the meme I've had in my head for over a year

I hope Wilbur is having a good day and that he gets to spend time with all the animals

How to spot a smear campaign:

Victims’s “crimes” will be enlarged, and even if they’re small missteps, they will be treated as if only the worst person on the planet would do such a thing

Accusations against the victim will always be a reach, aka, they did ‘this little thing’ but it actually means they’re a racist/murderer/genocide supporter/fascist/have blood on their hands, even when the person’s actions never conformed to those crimes

All and any actions of the victims will be misenterpreted in the worst possible way, anything the person does will be taken as an offense and intentions will be read as hostile and manipulative, regardless of how clear they are

All victim’s actions will be taken out of context; ie, victim said something cruel to someone, but they take out the context of the victim being abused, threatened, tortured, forced into defense mode and finally attacking out of desperation to defend themselves and get free

The victim will commonly get provoked into giving a bad reaction, (anyone gets defensive if they’re accused of the crimes they never did, or simply triggering insults until they snap), and the reaction will become the new ‘proof’ that the victim is in fact, evil and guilty

A lot of pressure will be put on you to react ‘correctly’ to the smear campaign; if you don’t accept to demonize this person at once, you’re getting scrutinized, shamed for your lack of morality, told that you support all these horrid things and that you are just as despicable

You will notice a trend of people ganging together based on their demonization of the victim; they will set a standard where you’re accepted and welcome if only you also will demonize and hate this person, and if you don’t, you’re blocked, cast out, and accused of causing harm

It will feel very easy to accept to demonize this person, and going against it will feel risky, like going against the grain, doubting the word of the many and risking being demonized yourself.

The smear campaign continues all the way until the victim is chased out of the community and denied a voice, even if the victim commits no further crimes, awful things will be said about them, their past 'misdeeds’ continually brought up, until the victim is commonly believed to be worthless, and becomes completely isolated, scared of society and alone

There will be no limit to what is considered okay to do to the victim of a smear campaign; even if the victim is accused of minor bad behaviour, it will become okay to threaten, insult, shout slurs, trigger, provoke, humiliate, manipulate, and repeat any kind of abusive behaviour to the victim, all because 'they’re bad so they deserve it’.

People leading the smear campaign will switch between being 'extremely grossed out and enraged’ to showing absolute joy and satisfaction when they find a new reason to demonize and smear the victim. People truly horrified of someone’s actions do not get a leap of joy when a new disaster happens, they’re not beside themselves to abuse the perpetrator all over again.

It will never, ever be acceptable to show any mercy to the victim. Forgiveness is out of the question, trying to understand them is out of the question. Even reading or listening to what this person is saying will be banned and forbidden, unless it’s for humiliating purposes. They will be shown as absolutely irredeemable, and associating yourself with them as evil and unforgivable. You will be instructed to block or unfollow or report the person based on what you’re told, without any significant proof.

Do not fall for smear campaigns. If a large amount of people all agree that a person is the worst, but their story is exaggerated, out of context, sounds fictional, and doesn’t show any proof, and the people switch from being enraged to eager, doubt it. Participating in a smear campaign will help the abusers isolate and abuse someone, and you do not want to be a part of it. They will also smear anyone who stands up to their abuse, so you’re helping the abusers to create a place where pointing out abuse gets you cast out of the community.

Edwin being jealous of Crystal but not admitting/recognizing his feelings for Charles 🙃