i have this deep need to stuff myself full of used up dirty towels and let it soak up all my blood so i'm left with just dried organs and i am a useless vessel that is empty of all fluids so i won't be able to cry
bpd culture is 'they didn't reply for 5 hours so i won't reply for 5 hours either' and then messaging back instantly as soon as they msg you!
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what kind of man just destroys a girls life and moves on like . what am i supposed to do withthis emptiness inside me? it voided me entirely and now im just a sad thing inside something that was once human
numbness follows me like a ghost to partner with the empty heart. i shed tears for the first time tonight since turning eighteen
it feels right that it was over my mother
i like playing dumb about not knowing things so someone who cares about me will gently explain it to me and i will feel loved once in a while
i also enjoy peoples faces lighting up when they get to explain something to me
i have this distinct need to make myself the smallest in a room because i always take up too my space with my loud voice. i talk loudly and flail my hands around because i don't know how to control myself in front of other people. so maybe, if the bones in my body shrunk and i lost more than eighty percent of my fat then my voice would shrink with me and i would match the tone of the normal people in the room. maybe then i can not only look at myself in the mirror and be happy, i can also listen to my own voice and avoid wanting to claw out my vocal chords. i'll feel normal i think
yippeeee !
i love spring because the whole day feels like summer morning
i know i was meant to live near the ocean so i could sit on the sandy beach, talk to the waves and walk into the water when my time is done