On A Search For Most Romantic Places In The City Because I Have Already Finished This Campaign And The

It is a quiet and thick summer night. One of those when the air smells like spices and leaves warmed by daylight.

Astarion steps back into the lightened circle of your campfire, lowering himself on the bedroll. He was hunting in the forest - successful but uneventful routine.

His hunger is sated for now, yet his brows still grow tight together as he looks around, taking in the silence. You aren’t here.

He picks up a book, turning the pages by the flickering light of the fire, his mind far away. Until he hears the steps and the corners of his mouth curl into a small smile.

He doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is, and he doesn’t flinch when your arms wrap around him from behind, gentle and warm. He just raises his hand to place over your arm as you rest your head against his shoulder and let out a dramatic sigh.

“You were gone for too long,” you mumble with a playful pout, softly nuzzling the curve of his neck with your nose. “I got bored waiting. So I went for a walk too. But really, you could’ve just bitten me instead. At least then we’d have spent that time together.”

Astarion chuckles, slightly leaning his head closer to yours. “Darling, your blood is far too invaluable to be treated as a mere convenience. It’s better reserved for more special occasions.”

You chuckle, brushing your lips along the pulse line on his neck. Your teeth grazing his skin in a teasing imitation of a bite.

“Then I’ll make us even,” you growl quietly, struggling to hold back a wide grin. “It’s my turn now.”

Astarion doesn’t hold back an amused laugh, short but light and unguarded. The sound you love so much. He turns around to look at you with a familiar smirk. “Oh? Is that so?”

He pulls you on his lap and you readily settle there, your eyes softening from mischief to warmth. You tilt your head, studying his face.

“Hold still…” you ask gently and Astarion arches his eyebrow but obliges, watching you raise your hand.

Your thumb carefully brushes his cheek, stroking a small drop of dried blood on his skin.

“Missed a spot,” you smile softly, wiping it away with the corner of your sleeve.

“…Thank you.” Astarion closes his eyes and leans into your touch for a moment, his lips brushing against the fabric wrapped around your arm.

You nod, satisfied, and lean back, reaching into the pouch still hanging on your belt, and luring out something small and delicate - a white flower with pointed, like a star, petals.

“A present! I found this while I was walking,” you say with a bashful smile. “It looked just like a star. Reminded me of you.”

He hums, both touched and amused. “Because my imperishable beauty outshines even the stars above?”

“Because you always shine, even in the dark,” you reply simply and tuck the flower behind his ear.

Astarion blinks, caught off guard for a moment, before a real, tender smile blooms on his lips.

He leans in and softly places a kiss on your forehead, then draws you close to his chest.

“So do you, my sweet.”

Interesting theory!

What do you think, Harry?

The Truth Behind the Mask

(1/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

Even before I played, I kept stumbling upon Astarion fanart and memes that made me assume he was just some overrated character who was only popular because of his flirty, sassy attitude (I’m so sorry Q^Q). That’s why I didn’t have the best first impression even before I started.

And even in-game, when you first meet him, Astarion seems like a shallow, selfish and flirty guy - someone who doesn’t really care what others think and just follows his whims.

Couldn’t be further from the truth!

From what I’ve seen in some discussions on social media, though, a lot of players still hold that first impression - even after completing his route. I’ve even seen people call him a red flag, label him evil or say they were disappointed in general.

Also, I feel like most guides (at least the ones I’ve come across) simplify his character too much - mainly focusing on which choices will gain his approval or disapproval. Maybe that’s to avoid spoilers, but still. There are definitely other players who see the deeper layers too - so this is just my way of sharing my personal journey of discovering the real Astarion.

So, how did that first impression start to unravel? When checking with the guide and watching his reactions and body language, I started thinking about why the approval/disapproval tips work.

How Approval Looks on the Surface

Let’s look at some general tips for gaining Astarion’s approval points: 

choosing evil replies/actions 

seeking power 

siding with evil characters 

deceiving your opponents  

supporting his desires  

being understanding and accepting towards him 

(bonus one, haven’t seen guides mention this) sarcastic replies  

And disapproval points: 

making pompous heroic statements (like “Worry not! I shall save everyone!”) 

helping the weak 

being open about your party's situation (tadpoles)

being judgmental or unsupportive towards him  

naive/goodie-two-shoes responses  

In most cases, it is explained by his natural inclination towards evil forces and power, making Astarion seem like a self-centred and power-hungry vampire who might, with Tav’s influence, turn to become a bit of a better person. Or not. 

But while it’s technically true that those actions affect his approval, there’s much more nuance to why Astarion reacts the way he does - especially in the early stages.

So what's really going on?

The first contradiction that made me feel confused about the reasons for Astarion’s reactions was how nice Tav is being to him (of course, if you chose good replies during their interactions) – a person who is mean to everyone else would be just as mean to Astarion. It didn’t make sense to me; a kind and understanding Tav would fit much better in the story.  

So what is going on there? Why does Astarion need a kind and gentle Tav who is cold and dismissive to the rest of the world?

Because he is terrified.  

When we first meet our pale elf, he has just escaped (as in been kidnapped) from 200 years of slavery, humiliation and torture where his wellbeing completely depended on Cazador’s whims and every mistake meant punishment. Of course he’s paranoid. Of course he’s always calculating risk. 

It’s not about Tav’s choices being good or evil, it’s about their possible consequences for Astarion. He doesn’t want Tav to be evil, he just wants to feel safe. That’s all.  

Let’s Look at That List Again

So let’s look at his approval/disapproval list again: 

refusing to help someone - approve! we don’t want to risk 

seeking power - yes, please! power means safety!

siding up with evil characters - they are strong, so why not use this to our benefit? 

deceiving your opponents - we didn’t even have to fight and got want we wanted? don’t see a problem  

supporting his desires - maybe this time, I won’t have to fight for what I want

being understanding and accepting towards him - finally someone doesn't treat me as a monster

sarcasm - humor is our everything, especially when there’s nothing else left 

On the other hand:

making pompous heroic statements - you are saying these cringe things with a straight face AND putting us in danger? hard nope! 

helping the weak - no one helped me, why should we bother 

disclosing truth about their situation - have you heard about caution?!  

being judgmental or unsupportive towards him - no thanks, had enough of that

naive/goodie-two-shoes responses - are we going to be fine with a leader like that?..  

What Kind of Tav Does He Need?

Astarion isn’t looking for an "evil" Tav - he’s looking for safety. Well, technically, he isn’t looking for anyone at all. But the kind of Tav he opens up to tends to be:

pragmatic, cautious and clever

emotionally intelligent

non-judgmental

strong enough to lead and survive

That’s why he feels comfortable with a Tav who might choose to be distant toward strangers but treats him with consistent care. In this context it’s not suspicious, it’s sensible. He doesn’t expect help from the world, and he respects those who understand that reality. In a hostile world, survival is more likely in a group, so he clings to the party and tries to secure his place using the only tools he knows: charm, wit and usefulness. And a part of that strategy, making sure the leader favors him and he won’t be cast aside, leads to his initial approaches for Tav. But we’ll get into that more in another post.

So if Tav shows kindness to him? That’s exactly what he’s aiming for. And it doesn’t even matter that much if they still go out of their way to help others - because if the care they show him feels real, that already shifts something deep inside. That already gives him a reason to start hoping that this might be real.

The Mask

So there’s the charm, the flirtation, the flair for drama. Some players may read that as shallow or even foolish. But it’s not. It’s a mask - one he’s worn so well and for so long that it feels real. It’s what kept him alive under Cazador for the last 200 years.

But if you keep going, if you give him time and space to feel safe, you start to see it slip. The closer Tav gets to him, the more glimpses we get of his real self - thoughtful and warm, wary and sharp, sometimes silly and awkward, and, beneath it all, deeply hurt. And if you stay with him through to the end, when he finally feels safe enough to stop performing, his whole demeanor changes. He’s calmer. More grounded. Still witty - but in a different way.

Still Astarion. Just more himself.

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Shadowheart: Given our group’s nature, I don’t see much harm. We are each monsters in the making, after all.

Astarion: No, I won’t kill them! Well, maybe Shadowheart…

Coincidence?.. 🫢

Astarion and Cazador

(11/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

This is also less of an analysis and more of a personal impression during the final scene of facing Cazador. I know there is a tragedy of the vampire curse that played its role in his life, too. But now I only want to talk about what I felt and saw with my eyes, solely based on my experience in the game.

When I first saw Cazador, I was honestly dumbfounded. In my imagination, he had always been that archetypal vampire lord - dark, composed, powerful and cruel. But the reality was... underwhelming. He came across as a petty, narrow-minded man who took himself far too seriously. There was nothing truly majestic or formidable about him - he just happened to be stronger than those around him and used that power to indulge himself in the worst ways.

It was actually quite brilliant of the creators to portray him this way - to show how low and hollow someone who takes pleasure in torture really is. That cruelty is just ugly and there is nothing appealing about it, no matter how much you try to cover it with aesthetics or mystery.

And then there was Astarion, standing before him. The difference between them was night and day. Astarion was radiant - beautiful, dignified, strong. Even in that moment of uncertainty, of raw emotion, he shone. I think I could have fallen for him all over again right then and there.

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I guess many couldn’t resist the temptation 😏

The funniest thing tho is that his expression looks even better than when your answer is correct... x)

Ascension or Not?

(12/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

Trigger warning: Spawn route / Ascension reflection

The Rite of Profane Ascension is the culmination of The Pale Elf’s story - everything has been building toward this: the fear, the shame, the survival instincts, the longing to be seen, the need to finally break free. It’s the most dangerous moment for Astarion - the fork in the road that will change everything.

We’ve already talked about how much Astarion longs to be truly seen. That’s why it hurts so deeply when he isn’t. When Tav misreads him - sees only the seducer, the witty, wicked vampire spawn - it encourages him to stay inside that mask. And he will, because that’s how he survived for two hundred years. But if Tav reaches gently toward what’s underneath, if they speak to the heart of him… he starts to hope: “Could there really be another way?”

The desire to be seen for more than he was made to be is so strong in him that it feels like he is constantly unconsciously searching for it. Not just admired or desired but truly known - it is woven into everything he does. But the tragedy is, the version of himself that he crafted to survive - charming, flirtatious, in control - is so convincing that even he sometimes believes that’s all he has to be. No wonder many players assume Ascension is what Astarion really wants.

That’s why the ritual is so dangerous. It is the ultimate temptation that seemingly can make all his fears disappear, promising eternal power. But it doesn’t free him. It traps him even deeper. Because it is the culmination of Cazador's legacy that he taught him: that power is everything, that it gives you the right to take and abuse, that to be weak is to be worthless and hurt, that vulnerability is pathetic. There is no place for kindness or love in this world.

If Tav helps him to go through with the ritual, it might seem like they’re validating his choice. But what it tells him is: you, as you are - frightened, hurt, still healing but craving connection - are not enough. That the only version of him others can value is the cold, invulnerable one.

It confirms his worst fear, so he clings to it harder.

That’s why, for me, Ascension isn’t Astarion’s "true self." It’s his trauma self - the final mask locked in place by a diabolical ritual, that becomes his new self forever. It's not freedom - it’s losing. Losing to fear. Losing to Cazador’s values. Losing the hope that was beginning to bloom.

But if Tav sees past those layers of defences and stops him - gently, lovingly - it’s not about forcing him to be "good." It’s about saying: I see you. And you're enough, just as you are. You don't need this to be free, to be loved.

That’s why it’s so moving when Tav instead gently reminds him that there is another way, reflecting his humanity back to him. In that route, Astarion finally allows himself to believe he’s more than what Cazador made him: not because he takes power, but because he rejects it and breaks that cycle.

When Astarion walks away from the Rite, it’s not weakness. It’s the first step toward becoming someone he never thought he could be - not a tool, not a monster, not someone else's shadow, but someone who can start discovering his real self. It’s a newfound freedom that finally allows him to start living again.

I want to say something about the Ascended route, too. I haven’t played it myself, only read and watched some bits of it - and maybe I might talk about it more later. But I’ll share just this for now.

For me, Ascension is a very sad and lonely choice for Astaion. By that, he forever separates himself from everyone else, from any genuine connection he could have had with the rest of the world.

Yes, Ascended Astarion still “cares” about Tav - they are still important to him. Maybe the most important person in his world, because he is not likely to let anyone in anymore. But it's not the same - not without that warmth, not when he owns them now. He puts them in the position he once fought so desperately to escape - completely dependent on someone else’s power. He might still be kind. But they are not equals. And I can’t help but wonder how long that kindness would last.

Yes, he can walk in the sun. He can taste food, enjoy luxuries. But without healing, those things are hollow. How long until the joy of novelty wears off? Until the hunger for power inside grows stronger again, forever insatiable? Until it can't satisfy him anymore, and he turns toward the one who cannot leave or say no? Love is not control.

So, for me, persuading Astarion to give up that idea is not forcing him against his nature - it's reminding him of it. Tav cares about him and doesn't want him to corner himself in a choice he might regret later. It's not about moralizing or controlling his choices, but about wanting him to be happy in the long run. If Astarion had made a decision in anger or desperation, its result would have haunted him forever.

That’s why I don’t even like calling it the “Spawn ending.” To me, it’s simply Astarion’s ending. The one where he can finally become who he truly is. Himself.

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Gosh I hate this route… (T__T)

Ok, I don’t hate it but I just can’t.

Somebody help me…

This is a pure torture.

I can’t hear about this bloody wedding anymore.

Let’s just marry all four of them together and I’ll leave for a rehabilitation course for my heart… ❤️‍🩹

There’s always time to enjoy the scenery✨

But is it really the scenery that he can't take his eyes off?.. 😌

Ok, I guess we don’t spend enough money on gems and now we need wardrobe too, guys…

Alright~ meet my MC who now has a physical appearance. Yay, I guess 🤷‍♀️

I’d actually appreciate more if they allowed to unmatch characters for their counterparts ^^;