She Has A Point .-. Besides, We Can Get An Achievement “Sing To Snape And Survive”

I already dread the moment my hyperfixation runs out and I start loving Astarion a normal amount.

Ugh 😑

Reflecting in Their Eyes

(5/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

The episode where Astarion is looking in the mirror, quietly questioning his appearance, is one of my absolute favorites.

Since he is a vampire, we know he doesn’t cast a reflection. So at first glance, it seems a little bit pointless… unless! He was trying to make Tav notice, to draw them into a conversation without saying it directly (and it worked!) - isn't it just a sweet way to set up a difficult conversation without being too obvious about it, but at the same time not hiding it too hard? One might say it is another manipulation, but I rather like such a subtle approach. On the other hand, you can see in the camp that Astarion always has a mirror in his tent, so maybe I’m wrong in my assumption.

When Tav asks if he misses seeing his face, Astarion reluctantly, with a snarky comment, admits he does and confesses that he hasn’t seen his reflection since the night he was turned. He doesn’t even remember much about how he looked before.

In my story, I chose an option where Tav takes a moment to quietly study him. When he asked, “What?” she simply said, “I can be your mirror. What do you want to see?” And Astarion answered with something I didn’t expect him to say out loud, yet somehow knew was coming:

“I want to know what the world sees when looks at me. What you see.”

(There’s a more intense version too, where Tav simply says “I see you.” And in that moment, he’s stretched taut like a string - waiting, terrified, hopeful.)

He is quiet at first, but breaks into a smile, realizing what they are doing, when Tav starts describing him - those strong, piercing eyes, they say. And when they get to that “dangerous smile,” he interrupts with a grin:

“Just say I’m beautiful and we can call it a day.”

It may seem like he is back to his usual flirty sass, but I believe he was just incredibly relieved and even flustered to hear that they don’t see him, a vampire spawn, as a monster, but still find him attractive and beautiful. So the shield is up again, back to the safer tone, when the moment is over and he has confirmed what he wanted to know - not to push Tav away, but falling back into familiar habits because opening up like that is so much.

Watch his body language: he turns away, putting some distance between them, as if to regulate the emotions stirred by the moment. He seems overwhelmed, uncertain what face he should make right now, but he is still listening, still thinking. People often look into the distance like that when they’re remembering something - like he does, still processing Tav's words.

But the important thing is: those words weren’t just about his physical appearance, but also his personality or, rather, his presence, because “strong piercing eyes” and “dangerous smile” speak more about the inner qualities rather than outer beauty.

And when Tav does say - “You are beautiful” - Astarion is clearly lifted and cheered, especially compared to the beginning of their conversation. I just love this episode, it is so sweet and touching!

For someone who carefully cultivates control over his appearance, who hides his uncertainty beneath vanity, it is a big deal to open up like that and admit he is actually unsure about his looks. And to someone he is starting to trust. And it’s not just about his looks. When he asks how Tav sees him, it’s also a quiet test: he realizes he is developing feelings for them (well, at least for me, this episode was right before his confession), and he finds a way to find out if his feelings might be returned. It’s a subtle way of asking, “Is it possible for you to see me behind this appearance?”

This is the first moment he let his guard down to show something fragile underneath. To see how they react when he is not playing the role. He showed us small glimpses before, but this is the first time Astarion lowered his defenses that low. And when Tav doesn't recoil, mock or dismiss him but stays warm and sincere, it reassures him that he is safe and seen with them. And he dares to tell them the truth - about his feelings and his "simple plan".

This moment is one of the most breathtaking parts of their journey together that yet again connects to our next realization - I want to talk about it in the next post.

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I’ve finished Sergio’s route recently and I’m just AAAAAAAAAAA which can be translated as “where I can get one?!?!”

Dangerous information to share but I’m weak to ‘mi corazon’

I won’t put any screenshots for the last chapters to avoid spoilers but it was freaking roller coaster.

Some weird moments aside /like “future” with that drink 😒/, I really enjoyed the route and the ending:

I fell for that guy the moment I saw him on the app, and almost haven’t touched the other stories yet (well, I’ve checked Road Trip to get more stars for Sergio… guilty) because it was exactly what I was looking for at that time.

Just look at this pure smile~

I was kinda surprised to see that many people in fandom didn’t like him much or were very suspicious /the dog was the most suspicious tho xD/ Maybe because they’ve started from Chava’s route 🤔 I actually was a bit suspicious too, but I was sure that even if he was the killer there must have been some serious reason, so I decided to trust the guy and was rewarded with a very sweet good ending✨

With all those mysteries, captivating atmosphere and heartbreaking and sweet moments with this lawyer… this story is definitely one of my favorites now <3

Btw this song fits their story pretty well, please check it out! （＾∇＾）

I’ve just started but… Is it me or is he kind of a jerk? 🤔

Not what I expected!

The guy just keeps talking about how amazing he is 🙄

UPD: ok, he became better after he opened up about his dream, but still not my cup of tea

It’s hard to imagine, right, Murphy? x)

Best quidditch team (๑>◡<๑) 💕

Shadowheart: Given our group’s nature, I don’t see much harm. We are each monsters in the making, after all.

Astarion: No, I won’t kill them! Well, maybe Shadowheart…

Coincidence?.. 🫢

Thank you for sharing your perspective! I especially loved what you said about “my door is always open” kind of patience. That’s such a beautiful way of holding love and boundaries together.

It’s really interesting to see how our Tavs shared so many core beliefs, but navigated things differently in those moments.

From the moment they stepped into the city, Astarion already felt cornered and on edge - everything around him was a reminder of his past. And the confrontation with Cazador, the one who held absolute control over him for so long, was drawing closer. He couldn’t see reason anymore, not fully. But maybe, after defeating Cazador and lifting that looming threat, he would finally be able to stop and think.

Because while Astarion is incredibly intelligent and cautious, in moments of fear he tends to rush toward anything that promises safety. First it was the tadpoles - an unknown power, but one he thought could save him. Then it became the Rite - his last resort. He knows the risks, you can see the doubt flash across his face. But he shuts it down, because if he starts to question it, he won’t be able to do it. And he needs it to work.

So for my Tav, I felt she would stay grounded and patient, trusting that if she didn’t push, he might come to the answer on his own. That’s what she usually did for other companions, too.

I don’t think our party faced any difficulty that day and it took a while till we went to the castle. Considering all the pain your party went through, it makes a lot of sense that your Tav was exhausted, and scared for him. That emotional tension really does make the moment hit hard.

It’s also interesting that in your game Lae’zel was kidnapped! In our case it was that little girl Yenna who stayed in our camp.

And yes, that moment when he seemed to regress, returning to manipulation… for my Tav, too, it was painful. Not because he was trying to use her again, but because she felt the wall go up. That shift from their honest, vulnerable exchanges to something more distant, more desperate.

And I agree - sometimes, calling out someone you love is the right thing to do. I just think there are moments when holding space and letting someone come to their own conclusion can also be a way of loving them. For my Tav, that felt closer in the moment.

There’s no single right answer in that scene, I think. Both reactions are different ways of responding to someone you love when they’re not themselves and both are valid.

I really appreciated hearing your take. Looking forward to talking more!

Facing Vampire Spawns

(7/? part of “Astarion: In Search of True Self” — [masterpost here])

(This part is less about analysis and more about how I personally approached this moment in my game, and the reasoning behind the choices I made. It isn't the only way, of course, but it felt right for Astarion and my Tav and the dynamic between them.)

There’s a moment when Cazador’s other vampire spawn appear, trying to capture Astarion and drag him back so their master can perform the Rite. They believe they’ll get to ascend too - but we know Cazador was lying.

At this stage in the story, Astarion still wants to perform the ritual himself - he doesn’t even want to hear anything against it. So when the spawns appear, he starts lying to them - saying that if they help him, they’ll get their revenge and live on, fully knowing the Rite would require their deaths.

There are two dialogue options Tav can choose in this moment:

(Persuasion) “Have you no heart, Astarion? You’re asking them to die for you.”

(Deception) “He’s free of Cazador’s command. You should follow him. He’ll save you.”

In theory, the first seems like the “right” option for a morally good Tav. But I didn’t like it - not here, not like this. It sounded too much like calling Astarion out in front of everyone, even after promising to support him. And sure enough, choosing that line raises approval with other companions… but lowers it with Astarion. He replies bitterly: “Don't look at me like that, I can't be who you want to see in me.”

We know he can, but he just doesn’t know that yet! And he is not ready either. Which is actually fair, because even though he's so sweet deep inside, he never hid from Tav how his own well-being was always a priority for him, from the beginning of their travel, and that he wanted to perform a ritual for himself.

(Isn’t it amazing how much he trusts them, never hiding his intentions and plans from Tav - when we clearly see that even the rest of their party disapprove?)

It's not even the first time Tav heard about his intentions, so bringing it up now feels less like a heartfelt plea and more like a tactical move to stop him - a betrayal, in his eyes, especially coming from someone he trusted. Which could be valid for a lawful good Tav, but it would also mean sacrificing the trust and understanding between them (not in the game, of course, you will just get a disapproval, but realistically it wouldn't pass without consequences).

I felt like discussing it and sharing your opinion was fairer to Astarion, that's why I went with the second option. Almost every other companion disapproved, but for me, that was the moment Tav showed they truly accepted Astarion as he was - in that moment. Not the person they hoped he would become. Just as he is.

So for me, it wasn't about deceiving the spawns, but about showing that Tav truly is on his side, without pushing him into something he wasn’t ready for yet. They don't try to fix or change Astarion - they are just there, grounding and patient, gently nudging him towards the light and believing in him. Respecting his autonomy and reminding him that there is more to him than survival instincts and revenge. Because Astarion can be a person who chooses kindness, but he needs to come to this realization himself.

Later, after the fight is over, you can have a private conversation. This is the time when he can feel safe and listen without being defensive. And Tav can softly raise that question: "Are you ready to sacrifice them?"

And now, indeed, Astarion is open to discuss it. He shrugs his shoulders, brushing it off - they are just vampire slaves. We talked about this in my previous post. He can’t put himself on the same level with them, it is too much: he is afraid to feel helpless again and he has to dehumanize them to be able to proceed with the rite.

When Tav asks if he doesn’t sympathize with those who share his plight, Astarion says that no one ever looked out for him. "You're the only one. Other people don't have a heart like you. You are you. No one is like that."

At first, for me, it sounded unrelated to the question. But it all kind of falls into place now. He is defensive here - probably because he understands how wrong it would be to sacrifice them. But he can't let himself think about it. He chooses to ignore the voice of sense, the voice of Tav advising him against the rite. He shuts himself down because he needs to do it - it promises everything he craved. Safety, freedom, perfect revenge. So he throws at Tav excuses, an attempt to justify and explain why:

This is the world he lives in. This is how things work. How he spent two centuries. What Cazador inflicted on him - be strong or be nothing. The one in power has the right to decide.

And Tav is an exception. A miracle, maybe. Something that wasn't supposed to happen but somehow did. But it doesn't change the rules.

When Tav says that the world can be kinder or that there will be others who care about him - approval rises even though he does not believe in it yet. But maybe he wants to.

It is a great detail how Astarion keeps saying this is also for Tav’s sake - while he is still desperately trying to grab at something that can guarantee his freedom. This might be just another excuse he is making to justify his ways, but for me, it does show the shift in him: Astarion is moving from a priority on self-preservation towards opening up to protecting someone else he cares about.

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I like this armor design but that silly branch keeps getting in the way 🙈🥲

Still I love these ☺️

Why walk around if you can make your own way?

And guess what song is keep playing in my head every time I do this?..

Let it go~

Let it go~

Can’t hold it back anymore~