Play Along (B.H)

acidentally snooping on bf! katsuki's phone and seeing something... kinky.

you were just on katsuki’s phone, playing subway surfers. you honestly didn’t even remember because the moment you accidentally swiped to his notes app, your eyes landed on a particular note titled “shit to try w/ her” and curiosity got the best of you.

at first, you thought it was something mundane—maybe new date ideas, training routines, or even a new recipes. but as soon as you opened it, your face went hot.

because it was a list. a very detailed list of all the filthy things katsuki wanted to do to you. some of it was stuff you’d already done—rougher, filthier things that had you squeezing your thighs together just remembering them. but then there were the others. the things he clearly hadn’t brought up yet.

shit to try w/ her

- overstimulating her (worse than usual. she looks so pretty when she cries on my dick)

- mirror sex while making her watch (want her to see how fuckin’ pretty she looks fallin’ apart.)

- recording it (for us only).

- thigh riding while i just sit back and watch (bet she'd whine so fuckin pretty too)

- more praise. (she likes that. she gets all shy. cute as fuck.)

- see how many times i can make her come in a single night.

your eyes widened at that last one. oh.

you kept scrolling, your thighs pressing together involuntarily. you knew katsuki was a freak, but seeing it written out like this, with all the little notes and thoughts he’d clearly been holding onto—made your breath hitch.

this was… a lot. not that you were opposed to most of it, but the fact that katsuki was sitting on this list, keeping it to himself, planning? that was almost hotter than the list itself.

you were still staring at the screen when you heard the bathroom door open. before you could react, a shadow loomed over you.

“the fuck you doin’?” katsuki’s voice was gruff, but he sounded relaxed—like he was toweling off his hair as he walked into the room.

you scrambled to lock his phone, but it was too late. the second he saw the look on your face, the way you were gripping his phone like you’d just uncovered a government secret, his eyes narrowed.

“…what did you see?” his voice was cautious now, tinged with suspicion.

you slowly turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “me? what are you doing making a list of all the filthy things you wanna do to me?”

katsuki froze .a slow, deep flush crept up his neck, spreading to his ears. his jaw clenched, his hands twitching at his sides like he wasn’t sure if he should snatch his phone away or act like nothing happened.

“…you weren’t supposed to see that.”

your smirk widened. “oh? and when was i supposed to?”

he groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “dunno. when i fuckin’ brought it up.”

you leaned in, voice teasing. “well, damn. didn’t know you had all these filthy little fantasies about me.”

“shut up,” katsuki sputtered, face burning, his hand swiping for the phone. he groaned, burying his face in his hands. “fuckin’ kill me.”

you laughed, wrapping your arms around his neck. “y’know, all you had to do was ask, baby.”

his fingers dug into your waist, his jaw clenching. “don’t—”

“i can’t believe you wrote it all down,” you teased breathlessly. “you’re so cute when you’re embarrassed.”

katsuki groaned, muffled against your neck. “i’m gonna kill you. you keep runnin’ that mouth, and i’ll start checkin’ shit off that list right now."

you bit your lip, feeling bolder. “you know… we could. cross something off the list.”

his eyes snapped to yours, darkening in an instant.

“…get on the bed.”

and then, without another word, he crushed his lips against yours and, well—you did end up checking something off that list that night. particularly, the last one.

you lost count somewhere after the third orgasm, but katsuki didn’t. oh no, he kept track. every time your body seized up, every time you sobbed his name, every time you gasped that you couldn’t take anymore—he whispered the number into your ear like a reminder.

“four,” he’d growled, dragging his thumb over your swollen clit. “look at you, fuckin’ cryin’ for me.”

“five,” he rasped later, his grip on your thighs tightening when you tried to squirm away. “told ya you could give me more.”

by the last one, your body was boneless, your voice gone, and your mind a hazy blur of pleasure. katsuki finally relented, collapsing beside you and pulling you into his chest.

you felt his lips press against your temple, his breathing uneven as he whispered, “fuckin’ champ.”

the morning after, you were sprawled across katsuki’s chest, his arm draped lazily around your waist as the sun peeked through the curtains. your entire body ached in the best way possible.

you groaned softly, shifting to get more comfortable, and his chest rumbled with a low chuckle, his fingers traced lazy patterns on your bare back. "you alive?"

"barely," you mumbled into his chest. "my legs hate you."

he chuckled, the sound vibrating beneath your cheek. "told ya you could take it."

you huffed a laugh, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. his crimson eyes were soft in the morning light, the usual sharpness replaced with warmth—and just a hint of smug pride.

“well, i didn’t know you were gonna go for the damn world record,” you teased. “how many times was it?”

his smirk deepened. “seven.”

your jaw dropped. “seven?”

“mhm,” he squeezed your waist. “you were real fuckin’ cute, too. cryin’, beggin’, squeezin’ me like that. thought you were gonna pass out on number six.”

your cheeks burned. “oh my god, stop.”

“why? can’t handle hearin’ how fuckin’ pretty you were last night?”

you covered your face with your hands, groaning. but katsuki was having none of it—he pried your hands away and pinned them to the mattress, leaning down until his lips brushed yours.

“seven,” he repeated against your mouth, grinning when you squirmed beneath him. “and next time? we’re goin’ for eight.”

‎‧₊˚✧[ it's me, kia ! ]✧˚₊‧ ｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ ‎‧₊˚✧[ more of katsuki ! ]✧˚₊‧

“He wears crocs and will steal your socks!”

Bugbear dating headcanons

Reader’s gender is not specified

Fucking asshole I want to fucking choke him

He can be so annoying but not in a way that can make you angry, he’s mainly just playfully annoying

I’m sorry to say this but your survival rates are lowered if you’re in the garden or forest (thankfully not literally)

He can and will tackle you to the ground, he’ll just lay on you then. If he’s feeling nice he might help you up

You have missing socks because of him. He doesn’t care if they’re smaller than his or smth. He’s stealing them

It’s canon he sleeps in a bear hoodie, so if you somehow feel safe enough to sleep in the same bed as him just know you aren’t getting him all hot and shirtless. You’re getting him in a bear hoodie and ugly pants

Also probs has a bear plushie he cuddles more than you

Might let you wear the bear hoodie but he’ll tease you so much

Probs randomly drags you to sit on his lap (if you’re small enough tbh he wouldn’t mind if you’re taller too) or he randomly lays his head on your lap

If you two ever go to the bathhouse together y’all are either relaxing or he’s being a little shit and splashing you with the water

If you two take a bath together in private (like in the bathtub in your dorm or whatever) he’s making it a bubble bath, maybe with a rubber duck too

He’ll whine if you wanna get out though so just think if it’s really worth it to get in the tub with that bitch

Randomly bites you for some reason?? It lowkey hurts too like damn

Won’t complain if you try biting him though, will in fact tease and mock you because ‘you aren’t biting hard enough’ and will ask bitchy questions like “Oh? Is that the hardest you can bite? Cmon, bite harder~”

Also I’m pretty sure it’s canon he likes kaomojis. So if you’re ever texting him just know you’ll probs see them once in a while

He’s terrifying… yet he likes kaomojis and cute bears? Okay…

Also if you did his route, y’know that scene where he wears a bear apron? If he ever makes you breakfast or lunch just know he’s wearing it still

Will probs make you wear it sometimes or suggest you buy a matching one

Probs will joke about you doing that naked apron thing tbh I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t joking

Ok that’s all I can think of for now. Bugbear fans take this content of your fav red flag

How the big three (three musketeers??) would try and convince you to quit your shitty job

one 'cute little housewife' from billy but reader is otherwise gn, some mysoginy from billy as a treat if you squint but not much also what do you expect lol

You know that friend that when you bring up your boyfriend they're like "dump him"?? That's Stevie. You breathe one word about your day at work being subpar and he's like "oh my god that sucks they shouldn't treat you like that, you should quit" when you protest he DOUBLES DOWN. "C'mon, you should quit. You don't need to work there, I'll buy you whatever you want. Bank of Harrington, the only interest is kisses." He loves spoiling you, you know he does, and he watches you seriously considering it. He'll offer to take you shopping right now to tip the scales, hyping you up and picking out the cutest stuff that perfectly fits your taste. "You could wear this next monday, we can go to the movies, keep me company while I drive the kids around..." You tell him you have work next monday and he gives you one of those looks "You don't have to." He's so hot and so caring and so good at babying you it's incredibly hard not to fold immediatley.

Eddie pulls you into his lap first thing. Right off the bat, he pulls you close to him to straddle his thighs. He's looking at you with that attentive sweet look, clearly paying full attention and equally in love with you while you tell him about your day. You're laughing at something ridiculous and terrible that happened and he's laughing with you and you think you're on the same page and then he hits you with the "Screw them. Quit." you start to laugh and he does too but you can see a little bit of seriousness behind his eyes. He squeezes your waist and continues "You're my muse. I need you here so I can write songs, come up with good lyrics." He runs his hands up and down your waist, he knows it's working, so he kicks up the dramatics, dipping you and declairing, "The future of corroded coffin depends on it..." pecking your lips. He's not shy about telling you how inspired you make him, he never has been, and you're sure his bandmates would be overjoyed that Eddie has his muse with him full time.

With Billy, he really, really likes playing house with you. If you tell him someone at your job did anything, made your day harder, upset you, said something rude, gossiped about you, you can see the change on his face instantly. He starts picking you up and dropping you off more often than he did, figuring out which coworkers he needs to send intimidating glares to. if you have a rough day he will ABSOLUTELY drop what he's doing and cover you with kisses. He'll rub your back and pull you to sit on his lap and rub his thumb over your cheek. "You should just fucking quit. Fuck them." You tell him it wasn't that bad, just one bad day, but he's been noticing more and more bad days recently. "Hey. Look at me." he guides you to look up at him, locking eyes with that intense eye contact of his. "You don't deserve to be treated like that, and those bastards sure as hell don't deserve someone as great as you." You smile and he does too. "You know, you could just quit. Stay here and be my cute little housewife..." you giggle and he bites your neck, telling you how cute you'd look cooking together while you wear his shirts.

Hi, can you please write for aomine something like his gf isn't the out-going type of gal and he always tries to do a shit ton of touchy stuff so he can get her flustered and always tries to make her horny af, like he loves that shes like another person with him and the rest of the world lol, I HOPE THIS MAKESSS SENSEEE!!!!!! and I reallllyyyyy love your writing likeeeee ufffff honey (iT GETS ME IN THE MOODS SET IF YOU GET ME 😉) BUT lol ima stop being creepy now

Tags: fingering, sweet dirty talk, use of bunny,

a/n: Yes it makes sense bby! And thank you so much!!

-

“Baby” he teased, watching you do your best to hide the heat growing in your face after he smothered you in kisses, not caring about the fact that you two weren’t alone a few minutes ago. “Come here”.

HIs arm wrapping around shoulder snapped your eyes towards his. "you ok bunny?" he asked, waiting for you to squirm again, loving how worked up he could get you just from a name.

Your shy face let out a slight grin, completely wrapped around his finger, "i-i um..... feel, good," you muttered out, hiding your face under the covers as he sat beside you, trying his best not to just eat you up. "You feel good bunny?" He grabbed you into his arms lowering you onto his lap.

You moaned at the feeling of his touch, being so sensitive as he knew, knowing how easy it was to get you to fall apart. All he had to do was whisper in your ear and you'd tremble in his grasp, your pretty little eyes watering as he kissed your neck, clinging onto him so tight, so precious.

You were pulled back onto his chest as you felt his big  hands wandering all over your body, slowly and gently, wanting to take his time and drag every sound and expression out of you. "You're so pretty, my little bunny." He whispered into your ear, his hot breath making you twitch, just how he liked it.

“You get like this just for me bunny, huh?" he smirked, trying to hold back his fat smile as you melted into his arms.

You closed your eyes feeling his gaze on you, his fingers sliding your clothes off while kissing the top of your head, so tiny under him. He pulled you by your neck, firmly grabbing it as you didnt respond, knowing that you were his good girl and he expected you to act like one.

You whimpered, "Y-yeah… just for you," as you sighed in relief as he let go, his fingers loosening their grip, moving there way to your panties as he smirked again. "There's my good girl.” he cooed. You're gonna be a good bunny for me right?"

He pushed his lips on the side of your jaw, bending down enough to reach you, leaving wet sloppy kisses behind your ear as your eyes started watering from the pleasure. You let out a little moaned “yeah” again while his finger was tracing circles onto your clothed clit. 

His other hand moved up from your tummy to under your shirt grabbing your soft tits while pinching your nipples, knowing that you got weak when he touched them. "A-ah minnie!" You whined leaning back onto his chest as your panties were see though now. His hands get rougher with every second, grabbing onto you tits while rubbing harsher and harsher as you couldn't help but grind onto his cock, nothing felt sweeter than when his name left your sweet lips.

His cock got even harder from your ass moving onto it squirming around in his lap. He locked your thighs in place with the arm he was using to play with your soaked cunny. Whimpers left your mouth as you kept grinding your hips as much as you could, not even caring to try to hold back the noises coming between your lips.

"Fuck  bunny, stay still" his deep voice grunted into your neck, watching your his fingers get drenched in you slick. "minnie l-lemme, -ah p-please c-cum? Daddy plea-" Your hot cunt sucking his fingers as his thumb was abusing your poor clit, feeling so overwhelmed by his affection, while he brought you closer to the edge.

"you gonna cum bunny? Cum round my fingers stretching out that little pussy of yours?" Your soft moans, drowned out the lewd sounds of your wetness getting slapped against you cunt. “N-no i want…”

“Hmm bunny,  what do you want? Gotta speak up or daddy can't hear you.”

“I -ah, want, your… cock, please” you sobbed, tears running down your face, eyes red and swollen as ever, and he thinks you're the prettiest hes ever seen you, looking like a beautiful mess while begging for him to fuck you

He quickly took off his boxers, already lining up with your needy dripping cunt  as you cried even more, clinging onto him as his chest was against you back. Pussy so wet and inviting, sucking him in. “Thats a good girl, all you had to do was ask”

i was trying to collect more shitty ms paint doodles we all use and vibe with and then i realize i also have ms paint and can just MAKE some 

Hear me out. Billy Hargrove falling for a gal with a toddler. This has been rolling around in my head for DAYS! Am I the only one that can see him just being completely wrapped around a 2-year-old little girl's finger? Or beating the shit out of a douchebag for insulting HIS family?!

Okay hear me out.

Billy doesn’t want to be a parent. As he starts healing from the abuse he’s suffered his whole life, he can’t stomach the possibility that he’ll turn out just like his father. He doesn’t LIKE kids, either, and besides Max and the little shits who run around at the pool and make his job harder, he doesn’t have any experience with them. He barely even got to be a kid himself, after his mom left, and he really doesn’t have any desire to ever have any.

But then he meets you one day, and he’s enamored. Maybe he runs into you at the store or something, and something about you just…clicks. So, naturally, he wants to take you out on a date, and you agree. He takes you out for dinner one night and everything is going so well, he doesn’t even try to Fuck you in the back of his car so he can get the intimacy he so desperately craves and then leave it at that. No, he takes you out on a second date, and a third…and at this point, he’s head over heels.

It’s also at this point that you decide this guy might be worth keeping around. You’re cautious, ever since your ex up and left, and at first, Billy seemed like he had the potential to be the same way. But he’s sticking by you and he isn’t even trying to overstep his bounds, reminding you more of a lost puppy than a sleazy dirtbag. So, you decide that he’s a keeper, and you tell him the truth:

You’ve got a kid.

At first, his eyes go wide. He’s surprised, because you don’t SEEM like a mom. You aren’t like Karen Wheeler or Susan. You’re his age, and you’re nice and you’re fun. It scares him a little, and you both think that he’s gonna run for it—until he pauses, and he asks himself WHY he’s scared. And he realizes that it’s because of himself, and his dad. And you don’t know anything about any of that, so how could he drag you into his own shit?

“I, uh, I gotta say…I don’t think I’m exactly father material,” he says, avoiding your gaze as he anxiously chews on a toothpick.

“Why?”

“Because…”

And suddenly he’s telling you everything. You, this person he only met a few weeks ago. And you’re not running, either, because you can see that he’s scared, but he’s trying to bounce back from everything life has thrown at him—and you don’t think he’s a danger. At all. You think he can break that cycle his father got so stuck in.

So, one hot summer day, you bring your daughter with you to the community pool, so Billy can meet her without the potential awkwardness of being stuck in your house.

He spots you immediately from his perch on the lifeguard chair, and he’s shocked at the way that he isn’t afraid of the interaction that he knows is coming. For some reason, his first instinct isn’t to run, but to yell for heather to come take his spot for a minute as he climbs down to meet you.

You’ve got your daughter on your hip, your tote bag over your other shoulder. You’ve got a wide hat that’s shielding both of you from the sun, and a swimsuit that’s a little too hot and trendy for a MOM to be wearing at the COMMUNITY POOL.

(Mrs. wheeler and the other mothers are watching you with judgmental eyes. When Billy walks up to you, their jaws drop. They can’t decide if they love seeing him kiss you because suddenly he looks like a family man, or if they hate it because it’s YOU)

You can tell he’s nervous as he says hi, both to you and to your daughter. She’s fascinated by the whistle hanging around his neck. He’s fascinated by the way that he isn’t terrified of holding her when you pick out a chair to hang out in and hand her off to him for a moment. When you glance back up at the two of them, you see that your daughter is grabbing at his curls, and he’s staring at her in absolute wonder, and you know that things are gonna go well.

And they do.

You and Billy get more serious. He moves in, and keeps you as far away from his dad as possible. Max is allowed over, though, because she’s a good (ish) babysitter. And Billy discovers that he’s kind of about this whole family life thing, after all. He keeps the Camaro, of course, because he’s not about to change his style and you’re not about to ask him to because it’s what you fell in love with in the first place, and the two of you are the coolest parents on the block. Your daughter sits outside as Billy works on his car. She grows up listening to Motley Crue and The Scorpions and everything else he likes. She never has to worry about bullies, because the other kids know who her dad is and they’re not about to incur his wrath. He never ever raises so much as a finger towards either of you, because he’s learned what love is and he’s learned to be gentle…but he’ll absolutely rock somebody’s shit if they make a snide comment about your little family.

you are the best writer for billy out there, i just love the way you write him. do you have any headcanons for him in love?

A/n: This is so... Sweet I could cry, really, it made me smile so big like 🥺 I'm worried sometimes about how I write him and think I should change parts of it but I do like writing him and how I do it so this means a lot me 💞

Billy in love HC's

Billy's never been in love, not really.

The most love Billy has known is from his mother, but even then, his mother left him with his abusive father so even that love was warped and skewed

But it's all he's known, so he's going to have trouble with loving and being loved.

When he does find someone he falls in love with its slow but fast at the same time; slow in that it takes him a while to realize what he is feeling is love, but fast in that the falling in love happens real quick.

It doesn't sit right with him; this feeling in him makes him feel weaker, and all soft inside. And when he's weak and soft he's exposed, he's right in front of the fire.

Keeping his emotions closed off most of the time is how he copes with his father and everything. One of the only emotion he feels deeply and can't control to his will (though arguably he can't control the others, he just forces them to morph into anger) has always been anger, and it is because his father only showed anger; nothing else was normalized.

Lust is familar; he's felt lust for people, wanted them. Had them. But this isn't lust. Or it isn't just lust.

Would separate himself from you at first most likely.

Like, if you're the cause of his rampant emotions that he's kind of worried about, it's easiest to just cut you off.

Acts weird as hell in general; weird as in he doesn't act as rude as usual with Max, doesn't argue as much with people, brushes Max off instead of starting shit with her. Actually sometimes sits quietly in class instead of fucking around.

Max is gonna talk to him. Like, hello? Are you sick or something, you're being really weird bro.

Will get angry or defensive about it like, mind your own fucking business kinda angry.

But maybe it slips, or Max is better at reading his emotions than he thinks- ("you may be a piece of shit but we're family-")

It's not that Max has to tell him what he feels is love of some sort of something, because sure, he has felt love for others. His mom. (Max too, but it's hard to explain.) etc. But not this kind of love.

It's more that Max points out "well maybe Billy, you just really really like this person, and you're acting like you're 13 over it."

When he does eventually accept that he is in love, and if he does eventually begin a relationship with that person (or, if he had been in a relationship and the feelings he had developed into love) then he is a bit different.

First of all, you're special, so you get special treatment. He's still an asshole a lot to people, its his default attitude, but he's softer with his words to you (unless you argue then both parties are just mean asf 💀)

Defensive. Very defensive over the person he loves- will fight people, argue with people, if they look at them wrong? He's already getting heated.

Assuming the person loves him back, this is very much about protecting someone who actually loves him and is giving him love he hasn't had.

Even if they don't love him back, it's still about protecting, but protecting someone he doesn't want ruined like how his father ruined his mother and him, and everything he has touched.

Piggybacking off of that, he would be actually scared that he's like his dad and he will ruin you/his lover

The toxic parts of him don't just disappear suddenly; it takes time and years to change them, and some of them may always be part of him, so when he gets that way it's like a slap in the face to himself: he thinks he's going to ruin this person he loves.

Loves physical touch, in public or not. In public it reassures him you're okay but also let's everyone know that you're his significant other.

Not a flowers type of guy for no reason. If he's gonna give flowers there HAS to be a reason, so if you want random acts of love in the forms of gifts it won't happen.

Let's you have one of his rings he keeps in his room to wear though, and if they don't fit, he gives you one of his earrings to wear if you've got pierced ears (I have a fic I'm writing about this is anyone is interested lmao)

Needy. But doesn't like to admit it or show it. It manifests as a petty argument sometimes cause he just wants something but doesn't wanna admit he wants to be little fucking spoon rn.

Basically, when he's in love, it's fast but slow. He's confused, and it can be chaotic- it scares him and sometimes he doesn't feel worthy. The person he loves can get away with more than others with him. He won't change in a day, or even in a few years. It's slow, but having someone he loves and loves him back helps and he can't imagine not having them in his life; attached, very much so.

Is this fandom still alive?😭

One More Moment - B.H.

a/n: here's a little angst one shot for you guys as an apology for how slow I'm being rn with requests and a lil something while yall wait. I was super depressed and just couldn't help and couldn't write requests it I needed to do something so I wrote this instead. I hope y'all like it ilysm 💗

Pairing: Billy Hargrove x reader

Length: 1.3k

Warnings: Depression, grieving, death mention, Billy is dead in this, mention of suicide, suicidal thoughts lowkey.

The air is cold. It's the end of fall, and winter is rearing its head. Ready to take over and cover Hawkins in snow and ice.

Two things he hated.

He hated colder weather. He hated Hawkins.

Yet he's stuck here now, forever.

You blow some air onto your cold hands, stepping in front of the tombstone.

William Hargrove.

No one ever called him that. Not one person. Except maybe his dad sometimes. But even then, it was a word used to show hate.

To tie him down.

You always wondered why they wrote William, not Billy on his grave.

Maybe it was because it was his legal full name. Or maybe it was because his father never knew his son enough, loved his son enough, to write the name he always went by. Billy. A way to dehumanize him further than he had already done for eighteen years.

You didn't know. But anyone who knew him knew he never answered to William.

No one used to go to the cemetery. You used to never go to the cemetery. It's mostly older graves for older people. People who were at an age that they were ready to die. But more recently the cemetery started to fill with people who were too young to be here. People who still had lives to live, had people to love, had a chance to be happy. To change.

People like Heather Holloway, Barbara Holland...

Billy Hargrove.

Max had been there recently. You see the remnants of an empty cassette beside the stone. She had started bringing them.

No music on them. His cassettes were too precious now. Too raw to give up, even to his own grave. But music meant something. Those cassettes meant something.

It sort of felt like a connection between herself and the dead brother in the ground- one they didn't get to grow before he died.

Maybe one day Max can let his real cassettes go.

You hope so. It's what you're here to do.

To let go.

To try to let go.

You crouch in front of the stone on cold and dying grass. The fallen leafs from trees skitter around with the wind, performing a weird dance together. It breaks the silence in the graveyard.

"Hey Billy..."

Your voice is soft. So quiet, it's almost as if you didn't speak at all. His name sounds foreign on your lips, but all to familiar at the same time. His name is like a curse and a blessing. You could hardly stand to hear it, but the longer you didn't hear it, the more the boy behind the name really faded away.

He was fading.

And eventually, one day in the future, his grave would be another grave with a name no one recognized; one that no one visited.

You clear your throat, suddenly it's gone dry; it feels like you've been in the desert for months, no water in sight.

"How are you?"

He doesn't answer of course. He's not really there. Yes, the body six feet under is his but its not him. Him is somewhere far away. A place you can't reach.

But this is as close as it gets.

Be always hated small talk like this. But he doesn't have a choice but to listen in silence now.

"I'm..." you want to say you're good, but you're not. You aren't sure you'll ever be good again- it's why you need to to this, "okay."

Okay was safe. It was a non-answer. A lie but not a lie.

You dig your hand into your coats pocket, looking for the rectangular item in your pocket; when your fingers touch it, it burns- it hurts. But that's why you're here. To stop the hurt. To...

"I'm leaving," you say it like you're breaking the ice to your boyfriend.

In some way you are- he was your boyfriend. Is... Was. You can't date a dead man.

"I don't think... I can't stay in Hawkins anymore," you miserably offer to the grave in front of you. You're speaking to dead space- but you need to do it.

Leaving and not telling him feels like a betrayal. Even if it's a stone in the ground- it's... He's...

"I'm sorry," you pull your hand from your pocket, a cassette held tightly in your hands, fingers digging into it- you could break it if you're not careful, "I know Max leaves you empty tapes sometimes. But I thought you might like one with music for once."

It's a tape with a dozen songs. One that you had made with him long ago, in the beginning months of your relationship. Back when things were brighter, when the world around you was colourful and when life seemed to have some hope within it.

Back before Hawkins took everything you loved.

"I can't keep it anymore," the air leaves your lungs shakily- you can feel the emotions building up in your chest, begging to be let out. But if you did that now, you know you won't be able to do this.

And you need to do it.

At first you couldn't. Couldn't listen to it, couldn't look at it. It held all your favourite songs and his favourite songs which would subsequently also become your favourites. You couldn't even listen to music for a while after because it stung. It hit too deep, bled too much. It was something you enjoyed doing with him in his room, in his Camaro. Anywhere.

It didn't bring you happiness anymore; it only deepened the gaping wound that he had left when he died.

But over time you listened to it again. One song a day. Till you listened to it all. And then you listened again, and again, on repeat. In your car, in your room, anywhere.

The songs became an escape. One where when you closed your eyes and blocked everything else out, you could imagine in those minutes that he was right there. That he was laying with you. Or standing behind you and putting his hands in your jeans pockets pulling you close.

Sometimes you swore you could feel him. Feel his touch. Smell is cologne. Feel his love.

But then the songs would end. And your eyes would open and everything was grey again.

Everything hurt again.

Because he wasn't there. And he wouldn't ever be there again. You were only fooling yourself; using this tape as an escape from a reality you needed to face. You were fading away, just like he was, but you were still living in all ways that mattered medically.

Beating heart, pumping blood, functioning limbs, warm skin.

The other half of you was dead.

It would kill you.

He would kill you, even in death, Billy Hargrove was your greatest weakness. And he'd kill you if you didn't stop.

Maybe you should have let him. But he'd be angry. So, so angry. And Max too. Your family. Friends.

At what point did you stop your own hurt instead of stopping others hurt?

Closing your eyes as tight as you can, you place the tape onto the grave in front of you. It feels like a weight is lifted, but at the same time, like a new one has arisen.

It is pain. It is hurt. It is agony. It is a love that you can't ever express the way you want to because he's not there to recieve it. It is a darkness that threatens you and tells you this is the wrong choice.

But you need to. To let him go, to get away. Before Hawkins (and the ghost of a dead man) swallows you whole. Drowns you.

"Take care of it, please."

You know the weather will destroy the tape. Maybe it will find its way back to him wherever he is- wherever death takes you. You can't say where, you don't know where. Anything could be possibly considering all Hawkins had shown you.

When you stand and turn away, hand still burning metaphorically from where the tape had been, the wind blows a harsh gust. It goes through you like you're a rickety old house, holes and all, just a skeleton.

It's cold. But it feels like you're being wrapped up by the wind into a hug. For one moment, a single, fleeting moment, you aren't alone.

Then it's gone. Just like everything else. The wind dies down as quickly as it came, and its quiet again, the leaves settling. You're alone.

Hawkins couldn't have you. You wouldn't let it. No matter how much part of you wanted it to take you.

All you needed was one more moment with him. And that was it.

AND ANOTHER THING.

WHY IN THE HEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLL HAVE I READ ALL THE FLUFF/NON-NSFW FICS FOR MIDORIYA. WHY THE HELL ARE THEY ALL TIMESKIP OR SMUT JUST LIKE KIRISHIMAS….

LKE WHY CANT READER AND IZUKU IDK SLOWLY FALL IN LOVE OR TRAIN TOGETHER BEFORE THE FIRST WAR TO GET HIS QUIRKS IN CHECK OR IDK HANG OUT IN THEIR ROOM TO WATCH MOVIES OR BAKE SOMETHING TOGETHER IM SO TIRED OF SMUTTTTTTT OMGGGG LIKE IDC WHAT TYPE OF PLOT IT HAS AT THE END IF THE DAY ITS STILL SMIT 👁️👁️

YOUR SAYING ☝🏾THIS MAN☝🏾 WOULDNT TSKR ME OUT ON WALKS AND PLAY WITH ME IN THE RAIN AND INSTEAD EAT ME OUT?? HE— HE— HELLLLL NAW ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️ Low key I’m getting tired of tumblr fics because all it is is smut🥸