I’m Feral Rn But Has Frank Ever Been Too In A Rush To Even Take His Gfs Panties Off🫣😅

The End Will Justify It All - Chapter 4

A Negan Series

Chapter 3 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 1

Warnings - mention of death, mention of torture, other Walking Dead themes.

Part of me wants to apologize that these chapters are going so slowly, but I don't think I will. I do hope you're enjoying them, though! Feedback is always welcome.

She awoke the next morning, the sun higher in the sky than she’d expected, and a dread in her stomach like a rock. She fought to shake the grogginess of the two sleeping pills she’d taken last night – the first time she’d used the gift from Shery, although Sherry left a new supply in her room after every dinner with Negan. As the fog in her mind began dissipating, her memory wasted no time filling the open space with the events of the day before. She’d seen Daryl, worn down and abused, and decided to do exactly what Negan had asked of her. She wouldn’t let him be tortured more than he already had. Not because of her.

So she’d gone to dinner that night, not touching the food, and told him everything she was willing to risk. She drew the layout of Alexandria for him, noting the armory, the make-shift infirmary, and Rick’s house. She’d told him all about Rick. She told him about his love for Glenn and how hard his death would have hit Rick, about his family, the things that made him angry, the things that made him happy, but most importantly, the fears that drove him – the love for his people and the responsibility of protecting them. Negan wanted his next move, and she gave it to him. Keep driving home that he could take any of Rick’s people from him, threaten even one of them, and he’d fold like a lawn chair. She’d told him all about Carl and his recklessness. She’d even gone as far as to suggest that guns were known to be unaccounted for, from time to time.

Negan leaned back in his chair when she finished talking, nodding and staring at her, eyes narrowed as if he could see everything in her mind. “I think you’re holding out on me,” he said after studying her for a long minute. Her stomach dropped, but she gave no physical sign of nervousness. He leaned closer to her.  “Tell me,” he demanded, lifting her chin with his thumb grazing her lip. Her stomach fluttered at the touch. Nerves, she’d told herself, nothing more than fearing him.

He had guessed right. She did have another idea. She knew where it had come from, and she wasn’t proud of it. It had come to her while she soaked in her pre-dinner bath, from a part of her that had hardened and darkened after the world fell. A part of her she’d buried deep enough that she hadn’t felt its presence in months and thought she never would again. She hated it, hated the idea it had given her. She didn’t want to tell Negan. If she told him, if she put it out there, there’d be no pretending this dark part of her didn’t exist. No denying it ever again. She feared what it might unleash within her again.

“Tell me,” he said again, his voice a little softer, purring a little. She felt herself flush at the sound of it.

“Make him hold it,” she said finally. “The bat. Lu- Lucille.  Make him hold it for you the next time you visit him. For as long as you can, make him carry it around for you.”

Negan sat up straight in surprise. “That,” he said, pausing as a wicked grin crept across his face. “That is sexy. as. hell! Somehow, I knew you had that in you. Man!  have never been more turned on than I am right now.” Again she felt that flutter in her stomach, and waited for his next move.  But it never came. He’d simply poured them both a drink, laughing to himself as he did. She drained her glass quickly, and walked as fast as she could to her room when he’d dismissed her, where she took her pills and laid shaking in her bed until she was dragged into a dreamless oblivion.

She made her way down to the kitchens for some coffee and breakfast, noting the lack of guard at the wives’ dorm door. That was a first in the 4 days she’d been here.

As she made her way down, she noticed… well, she noticed that she didn’t notice anyone. It was eerily empty in the halls for this late in the morning. When she reached the ground level, she exited the building and found - where there would typically be no less than 20 saviors hanging around - there were only two guys standing guard. She walked around the building to the area where they all parked their bikes and trucks – empty. Except for one box truck and a few pickups that were now being loaded with what seemed to be the remaining Saviors.

She noticed Simon talking with one guy and heading for a truck.

“Simon!” She called after him. He stopped and turned, waiting for her to catch up to him. She and Simon had only had a few short interactions since she got to the Sanctuary, but she’d developed a small sense of safety with him. She liked him, or thought she could if she spent any time with him. “Where are you headed?” She asked as she approached him.

“We are going to see a guy that’s supposed to be dead.” He answered, chuckling a little.

Greg… Hilltop. She remembered the deal Rick had made – the event that marked the start of this whole mess. 

“Is everybody else already there?” She asked him, gesturing to the empty – well, everything.

He chuckled again. “Nah, Negan took a big crew to visit your old pals a little earlier. I imagine they’ll be gone most of the day.”

Her heart sank. She knew Negan wouldn’t ignore her advice, but she didn’t know he’d implement it this fast.

She watched as the last of Simon’s crew loaded up and he turned to go, too. “Can I come with you?”

Simon stopped again and turned to look at her. He sighed as he said “I would love to take you along; I think you’d be valuable. But Negan hasn’t okayed you to be on a crew yet.” And with that, he finished his trek to his truck and got in. He gave her a sympathetic look and a nod as they drove past her and out the gate.

When the last truck was out of sight, she turned on her heels and sprinted back to the building.

----

This was her chance. With the place all but empty – at least of Saviors – she could get Daryl out. They’d still have to be careful not to be seen by any of the workers or people who lived here, but that shouldn’t be hard.

She knew where they were keeping him – she’d followed Dwight at as careful of a distance as she could manage after seeing Daryl in the hallway yesterday. She’d watched him put him in a dark room, lock the door, and start playing some godawful song that sounded like it was from a 70s sitcom on a boombox outside his door.

She almost slammed into a wall turning the corner into his hall. And there it was – his door. His door was open. Wait. Open? She rushed into it and immediately deflated. In the light from the hall, she could make out a puddle of vomit in a corner. It was completely empty otherwise. Of course Negan had taken Daryl with them. What better way to remind Rick that Negan could hurt his people than by bringing the one he now owned? She thought for a moment, before quickly making her way to a room she had barely registered as an office when she ran past. She grabbed a pen and found a small piece of paper. She scribbled out a note to him. She needed him to know she was still with him, still working on a plan.

Stay strong. I’m coming for you soon. -Sunshine

She folded it as small as she could and pulled the door behind her in the cell just shy of closing. She followed the small stream of light from under the door and placed the note on the edge of it. No one else would notice it, she hoped.

She took one last look around his cell. Fury rose in her as she pictured him sleeping on the cold concrete for the last 3 nights. Her shoulders sagged and she felt suddenly exhausted as she made her way back to her room. How long could she go on like this? How long could she hold onto hope that she really would get Daryl and herself out of here? Back in her room, she crawled into bed and stared at the wall until she let herself slip into a restless sleep.

----

She didn’t know how long she’d been asleep, but when she opened her eyes again it was dark outside. She blinked away the blur of a long nap, and almost shouted when she heard a throat clear in the dark.

“You’re awake.” Negan. In her room? Her pulse quickened. He was back, which meant Daryl was back… had someone found her note after all? Was he here to punish her? She slowly moved into a sitting position with her back against the headboard, and looked to where he sat in the armchair in the corner of her room.  She furrowed her brow in a question.

“I wanted to tell you something,” he said in answer, “but I found you asleep. Sherry said you’d been asleep since 2pm. I was worried you might be sick.” She saw what looked like genuine concern in his eyes. He was worried about her? He waited for her to respond.

“I’m fine.” She croaked out, with a dry mouth.

“Good!” He exclaimed suddenly and stood to walk to her bedside. He sat down beside her, grinning that wicked Negan grin. “I have good news for you! I went to see your old friends today, and I have to say, it went so. much. better. than I had hoped. And that is all thanks to you!” He patted her leg on the last word, a little high on her thigh, and a jolt shot through her from the touch.

“I just did what you asked,” she answered humbly.

“Oh, you did more than that,” he chuckled, “and like I told you, I am a generous husband. You start with Simon’s crew bright and early tomorrow morning!”

She was still processing the information; stuck on a question she was too afraid to ask. He must have read it on her face.

“Well, I had hoped for a little more gratitude…” he said pointedly.

He sighed. “What is it? I thought you’d be happy to get what you wanted.”

“No, I am. Really. I just…” she looked into his eyes, let him see her concern. “You saw…everyone? How was Maggie doing? She was the sick one the night everything happened.”

He went still, his face serious. He shook his head slightly, “she didn’t make it.”

She tried to hold back the tears stinging her eyes, but there were too many. She turned her head away from Negan to wipe them.

He watched her, and when she finally turned back to him, she was surprised to see sympathy on his face.

“I liked Maggie,” she explained, closing her eyes to stop more tears. “She accepted me faster than the others, quickly became my friend. We got close.” She didn’t tell him about the baby – that secret wasn’t hers to tell. Especially not with him.

She felt the bed shift, and suddenly Negan was scooting beside her, wedging himself between her and the headboard. He wrapped his arms around her, and she found herself resting her head on his chest, unable to stop her crying now. She hated that he felt… good, with his arms around her, comforting her. Even though she’d slept most of the day, she felt exhausted with the weight of grief. He held her while she cried, rubbing her shoulder with his hand. She cried for Maggie and Maggie’s baby. She cried for Glenn and Abraham – she had not let herself feel that until now. She cried for Daryl and the unimaginable things he was experiencing. She cried in fear that she might not be able to pull this off after-all, that she might have taken on more than she could handle. And she cried for herself, for the change she could feel blooming in her. It scared her - what she might become. So she kept crying, and Negan kept holding her, until she fell asleep against his chest.

She awoke again a few hours later to feel him standing from her bed and making his way to the door.

“Thank you, Negan,” she said softly as she settled into her pillow. Whether she was thanking him for letting her join a crew, for telling her about Maggie, or for offering her comfort in her grief, she wasn’t sure. Maybe a little of each. “I really am grateful.”

“You can show me tomorrow how much,” he answered from the door, and she could hear that wicked grin in it. It didn’t register that she grinned, too.

I just started watching Buffy for the first time.

I’m really trying to decipher what it means that instead of an obsessive infatuation with Angel (cause, I mean, drool…) I somehow found myself here. Daydreaming about the mentor librarian.

I swear I don’t have daddy issues!

Hi me again! 👋🏻

I was wondering if you had time maybe to write a small fic (or one shot whatever you’re comfortable with) where the reader is Buffy’s cousin ( also library assistant or whatever you would like ) and the reader and Giles are in a secret relationship ( maybe smut?? ) and they’re navigating that and Buffy finds out and it’s this whole thing. If you’re busy I totally understand or if you just don’t want to, again it’s okay. I really do enjoy your work 🥰.

Not Unavailable, More Unimpressed

pairing(s): Giles x Summers!Reader

summary: what started out as a short term fling has gotten increasingly complicated when the reciprocity and sincerity of feelings is called into questions. pt.1 of ???

warnings: smut, fem!reader, drinking, hand job, a bit of breast worship, clothed grinding, riding, slight choking, age gap (Giles is in his mid to late 40's, reader is in her late 20s/ early 30s), reader has nipple piercings bc I said so and I think they are hot

an: This fic will contain smut so be warned. You are responsible for your own media consumption, read at your own risk.

The man at the bar was a mystery to you. He didn't quite fit into the bar atmosphere. He wasn't one of the barely legals or illegals who snuck in eager to drink, he wasn't one of the old guys who came to hit on the bottle girls, he didn't smell like a smoker or shoot whiskey like a drinker. He was also British, something that left an odd taste in your mouth.

You couldn't call yourself a regular here, more often than not you found yourself at the Bronze, purely per Buffy's request, which had okay enough booze and slightly better music. Here, some place clearly meant for an older crowd called Jack's, is where the older man sat. Alone, he sat at the far corner, sometimes looking longingly at the stage like he was a performer. He didn't look like a performer though.

He was older than you. He was greyed out and looked like he came from when TVs were still in sepia tones. He looked like Gregory Peck in To Kill a Mockingbird, like he was always a moment away from scolding someone. It didn't help that he always looked tired, like a lot of his age came from stress. If that was the case, it still didn't make sense as to why he chose a bar to be his spot to wind down.

It was loud. Not in the way that the Bronze was, a type of loud filled with life. A loud spurred by rowdy souls, people who couldn't let loose at home, so they came to one of the only shitty bars in the small town to drink a shitty beer and watch their favorite sports team lose. Not to mention the countless barely legals who got into fights with the bartenders after they failed to get their underage friends a drink. Jack's wasn't a place to have fun, it was the place to avoid doing something reckless during your midlife crisis. You were only there because of convenience, and after being there for a half hour were already beginning to get a migraine.

Job hunting was rough. When you moved to Sunnydale on behalf of your aunt, she offered to let you stay under her roof, but being a grown woman who got up to grown woman shenanigans, it would be more than distasteful to do it in Joyce's home. You were lucky enough that the housing market was great in the area, with all the supernatural happenings so one chose to move to Sunnydale, but that still didn't mean that a decent looking apartment wouldn't cost you a nice sum of money every month.

I could just work here, was your first thought. You were once a young college student also desperate for money, you had bartended, you could always go back if you lacked self-respect. You had a degree dammit, sure you didn't have a doctorate, but you shouldn't need one to get a nice quiet desk job. Neither option was all that fulfilling, but something told you that bartending in a town when demons just roamed the streets didn't seem like a great idea.

The mystery man looked like he had a nice job. Maybe a nice car. Possibly a nice house. He looked financially stable, and fuck was that hot. What did he do? What was there to do in Sunnydale? You could ask.

You looked at his hands to see if there was a ring or any indication that there was someone waiting for him wherever he came from. Maybe a picture of a kid, maybe a photo of a significant other. Nothing. Nothing.

You slinked over to the seat beside him, not meaning to make your presence immediately known yet he still looked up as he felt the heat of someone else beside him. His glasses perched low on his nose and his grey hair tussled. His eyes were green. He was pretty.

"Hello?" He looked at you confused. He took a moment to drink you in. Younger, gorgeous, clearly bold.

"Hello."

"Are you waiting for someone?" You shook your head.

"No. Are you?" and he'd be lying if he said he was.

☽✯☾

"You know, I don't do this often." He said between the rare breaths that were allowed in between suffocating kisses. Whatever he took up in his free time must've involved a great workout regimen. His hand sat comfortably at your neck, and you basked in the warmth that it provided in his cold apartment. His other held your cheek, his thumb mindless rubbing against it in a way that was hypnotizing. It almost had a numbing affect, your skin not being able to get past the feeling making your brain pause as he kissed your lips.

He tasted like fine wine. He smelled like old books. You half expected him to quote a classic at you, you didn't know him well enough to gauge if he was the type. His tongue contradicted his previous statement. These weren't the kisses of a man out of practice, that or he did it so much in his youth it was impossible to forget. Something like riding a bike.

"For a man who doesn't do this often, you're mighty good at it." He smirked; you could feel it against your lips. You wished you could see it, but he had the lights in his bedroom turned low and you weren't sure you wanted to open your eyes in the fear that you were dreaming. It was warm, he was so warm. So warm it was noticeable when his lips left yours and moved to your neck, hovering under your ears. His breath fanning against your neck was enough to send shivers down your spine.

"You haven't even seen how good I am, darling." The pet name alone made you weak in the knees, but you would be damned if you swooned at someone called you darling. Granted, you couldn't help how your mouth went dry or how your pussy clenched at nothing, but he didn't need to know that. He was going to find out, but he can find out later when your lust ridden brain stopped listening to reason and pride.

"Show me, then."

He dipped his head to kiss you, grabbing a fistful of your hair to tip your head back and you let him, grabbing on to his broad shoulders to stabilize yourself. You were pressed between the wall and him, pressing him even closer as you fisted his shirt to pull him closer, but he was hesitant to oblige. He was teasing, you could tell by the way he smiled into your kisses, pulling away like he needed air while you chased after his lips.

"You having issues breathing, old man?" The hand at your neck squeezed, not enough to choke you but enough to make your head even dizzier. His other hand travelled to any piece of skin he could get his hands on. Feather light, his fingers ran across your arms, then your collarbones, before knocking the straps of your dress off your shoulder. His kisses moved slow, his tongue damn near like languid waves that you were somehow managing to drown in.

Still, you chased after him, and still, he ran. His lips ran to the corner of your mouth, to the skin of your neck his hand didn't engulf, to where your strap lay useless. His kisses scorched your otherwise cold skin, his mouth sucking hickeys and then immediately soothing them.

He was so soft. Soft in how his hands found the back of your dress, soft in how his eyes looked into yours, asking permission without even saying a word, soft like the way the fabric slipped of your body and onto the floor. Soft like the bed he laid you on. Even soft in the way he continued to tease you, his knee meeting the crotch of your panties and him meticulously unsnapping your bra as if you couldn't tell he knew how to do it.

He then paused for a minute, finally coming across something he hadn't experienced before. His fingers took the ball of cool metal between his fingers, and you moaned at how it pulled ever so slightly at your nipple.

"What are these?" You chuckled.

"I got 'em pierced ages ago. Drunk night out with a few friends my senior year." He continued to play with the metal ball, well aware of how you keened and ground yourself into his knee.

"So, I can play with them." Fuck. It was how he said it. Like a nerd you might've messed around with in school because he was a good tutor but also because he had that nerdy charm to him. Like playing with your body was a game of Operations he had been so eager to play and was determined to get good at. It was easy to imagine Giles like that, fogged up glasses, eyes concentrated and focused on figuring out what buttons to press to get a prize. There was the curiosity in his lust-blown eyes, and in your lust addled brain you were fine with being his toy.

"Please do." He didn't need to be told twice. Avid learner he was, he went in, his large hands easily covering your breasts. His fingers pulled at the bars, drawing whimpers out of you the more he prodded. It wasn't too rough, Giles was too soft to ever be truly rough, but the feeling of his gaze, your clothed pussy rubbing against his soft slacks, and his large hands over your chest was getting a bit much. And he hadn't even put his mouth on you yet.

It didn't take long for him to realize the feeling of your pierced tits in his mouth was one of the best things he's felt, and it felt even better for you. A wet patch had long since been growing and he certainly felt it too, it egged him on. He wasn't even in you, he hadn't even tasted you, and you were almost there. You were so close.

You grabbed at anything you could, his shirt, his sheets, his hands that held yours as you rocked yourself onto his knee until you saw stars. Then he grabbed your face and swallowed your moans as he kissed and kissed you until you came down. A moment of clarity hit you, and you pulled on his shirt. "Off." you told him simply, and he obliged. You smashed your lips into his, peeling off button after button until the shirt was thrown to the side and his undershirt beneath was discarded with even less care.

"Issues with patience, darling?" You shook your head.

"Not fair I'm practically naked and you were fully clothed." His retort was cut off by your lips as you sat up to meet him, his hands absent-mindedly finding your breasts and yours finding his belt and making quick work of it before he even realized what was happening. You kissed him through it, anyway, still chasing after him as he pulled away to curse at the feeling of your hand around his dick.

"Gods." he muttered, words tumbling out clumsily as you rubbed the tip of his cock. He never had the control to pull away fast enough for an adequate breather, just a second to get a breath out and pray. You were flattered. His hand seemed like it wanted to swat you away, but it didn't have the strength to betray his brain like that. It felt good. Too good. So good he couldn't even think, and Giles never stopping thinking and now he was drawing blanks. He was sure you had mocked him once or twice, which went through one ear and out the other.

He caught himself thrusting into your hand before he caught himself, grabbing your wrist. "Hang on." He choked out, but you didn't listen. Your hand moved up and down his shaft terribly slow, and it was almost worse. Watching you spit on your hand and collect pre-cum from his tip and spread it like some sick simulation of what it would be like to be in you, and yet he couldn't help but watch his hand completely cover yours as you pumped him. Don't cum yet.

"I said hang on." His breath was ragged and his voice was deep. This time he meant it. "There are condoms in the top left drawer. Take one out for me, love." And you did as such. Did it with so much assurance that you slid it on without him even needing to ask you. Slid your panties off and sank down so fast neither one of you was ready.

You both sat there a moment, feeling your nerve endings tingle and burn, like you were both on fire. But you were on fire together. Like you could feel every atom in your body, like it had all been reduced to nothing but water, you were both feeling everything and anything yet absolutely nothing at the same time. So much feeling any nuance got lost in the moment. Just being there, breaths away, with a complete stranger you were sleeping with because he was pretty and looked financially stable.

You kissed him, a real kiss. Spontaneous. One with a feeling neither one of you could decipher and both assumed meant nothing. You rode it out until you had both exhausted each other, you falling on top of him and him catching you.

"Would you like to use my shower before you go? Did you need a ride home?" You cheesed to yourself. And they say chivalry is dead.

"Yeah, that would be nice." You had already rolled out of his bed in search of your dress and waiting for feeling to return to your legs. "I never got your name."

"Giles. Rupert Giles." You giggled as you shook of your dress after picking it up from the floor. Sounds about right.

"And what do you do for a living, Mr. Giles."

"Do these things typically end in interviews?" He made no effort to get out of his bed, he even had the decency to turn away while you get dressed as if he wasn't just balls deep in you.

"No, but I am new to town and would like to not be broke."

"I'm a librarian." Of course, you are. "Have you any interest in literature?" You did. You were a nerd. You had tried convincing yourself you weren't for years, but you majored in philosophy and minored in classic literature; and no one likes philosophy majors.

"I dabble a bit. Got a degree from all the reading I did if that counts." He looked at you like he knew you were trying to make yourself sound cooler. Nerd calls to nerd.

"Well, plenty of places are always hiring. The turnover rate is quite atrocious here." And even new to town, you believed it.

"I just might."

☽✯☾

You did end applying, you even ended up getting the job. Apparently, your little cousin's high school was in desperate need of a library assistant. You also had the pleasure of freezing when you saw Giles again and watching your little cousin greet her favorite teacher.

It was almost worth it for the look on his face, though.

🥵

Y’all always out here giving some new TV boyfriend to obsess about

♡ Hotline ♡

Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Summary: You and Mikey have been casually seeing each other for a few weeks. After a late night text from him, you make the drunken insomniac executive decision of calling him back. Naughtiness ensues.

Or: the one where you and Michael have phone sex.

Warnings: 18+, SMUT, M/F. Minors DNI // PWP, P!rn With Feelings. Phone sex, flirting, teasing, sexual innuendos, dirty talking, mentions of oral sex (m. receiving), masturbation (m. and f.), sexual fantasies, role-playing scenarios, librarian k!nk, mentions of rough sex. // Blink-and-you-miss-it angst, alcohol use, mentions of insomnia, anxiety and self esteem issues.

Word count: 3.8k

Read below the cut OR on AO3

Notes: Reader wears glasses in this - don't look at me like that, it's integral to the plot 🙄

For the history nerds, the quote at the beginning is from the book "Fire from Heaven" by Mary Renault, about the relationship between Alexander the Great and his friend and lover, Hephaestion.

Enjoy! As always, likes, comments and reblogs are very appreciated ♡

His feelings were confused; he wanted to grasp till Alexander's very bones were somehow engulfed within himself, but knew this to be wicked and mad; he would kill anyone who harmed a hair of his head…

… you yawned at the page you’d been reading (i.e., staring at without absorbing a single bit of information), before turning your head to the nightstand and seeing the clock mark 2:49 am.

“Good god”, you whispered, tiredly rubbing your face with one hand, while the other reached for the half-full glass of red wine keeping you company in your insomnia.

Technically, you knew drinking was the last thing you should be doing on a weeknight, when you were having a hard time falling asleep and were expected at work in the morning. But living alone was really not helping you behave like a responsible adult with bills to pay. So, you slowly sip your wine, read your book, and hope that eventually your brain will give up and allow you to pass out for at least a few hours.

Suddenly, your phone lights up with a text. Michael B., it says on the screen. A pang of excitement hits you, and you immediately scoff for reacting so earnestly to a text from a guy you’ve been with (not even biblically, just the daytime coffee dates that people with busy lives manage to pack into a crazy week) for a grand total of two times and less than two hours, overall. Not pathetic at all.

Still, you can’t help but reach for the phone.

Hey, I know it’s late and you probably won’t read this until morning, sorry. Wanna have dinner at that spot we talked about? I can pick you up at the office ;) – M.

You smile, and without really thinking, hit the call button.

He picks up quickly, an amused tone in his voice. “Well, I was not expecting that. What the hell are you still doing up, princess? No work tomorrow?”

You laugh. “God, I wish. I just can’t sleep. Haven’t had one of these nights in a while… my brain won’t shut up, even though I’m so tired I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck”.

“Ooof. That fucking sucks.”

“Yup.”

“Well, I’m glad to be your booty call in this desperate time.”

“Michael”, you laugh so hard you choke on some wine and must set the glass back on the table. “I really don’t think that’s what this is”.

“Oh, no?”, he feigns innocence.

“No…”, chuckling, you continue with the most sultry, mock-seductive voice you can muster “… a booty call is if I was like: Sooo, Mikey… are you, like, busy right now? Do you wanna… come over? I’m aaall alone…”.

You make sure to put particular emphasis on the word ‘come’ and Mike sounds like he is doubling over with laughter. “That was the worst proposition I have ever heard, no doubt”.

“Oh, yeah? Well, you’re officially off my booty call list. I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life.”

“Ah, shit… I fucked up now, didn’t I?”, you swear you can hear his grin from the other end of the line. And see the laugh lines that form on the corner of his eyes when he smiles genuinely, the rare but so cute nose crinkle that makes your belly flutter…

You would love to get a fucking grip, thank you very much, but the wine was making you incapable of keeping a level head in this flirtation.

“Well… all is not lost. Taking me out to dinner is a good start to redeem yourself. If your game is on point tomorrow, your booty call list status might be revised… in the not-so-far future”, you add, suggestively.

“Shit. Now the stakes are on. I gotta be on my best behavior tomorrow, then”.

“I don’t know about best behavior…”. You feel like slapping yourself for your lack of subtlety.

He chuckles. “So… you like them a little nasty, huh?”

You’re glad he can’t see you blush furiously. “Not like that… but I do like a man who isn’t afraid to… take what he wants. Respectfully, of course.”

“Of course… damn, girl. You’re getting me thinking about all sorts of things…”

“Well, you’re the one who started talking about booty calls. It’s technically your fault”.

“That’s fucking rich. I was being a gentleman, sent you a sweet text and all. Not a single sex reference!”, he says, proudly.

“Ok, that is true”, you concede, laughing softly. “Are you still at the restaurant?”

He sighs deeply. “Yeah… paperwork coming out of my eyeballs. I don’t even understand how the hell I organized this mess”. You hear rustling through the line, and imagine the mess of letters, invoices and bills that must be covering his office desk.

“That fucking sucks”.

“Word”. His chair squeaks loudly. “So… what are you wearing?”

You laugh. “You’re unbelievable”.

“What? I’m just trying to keep the conversation light, you know? Nobody wants to hear about my fuckin’ paperwork at 3 am”.

It was subtle, but you could sense something deeper in his words (sadness? self-deprecation?).

“I wouldn’t mind hearing about your ‘fuckin’ paperwork’ at any time of day, Michael”.

The line goes silent, and you fear you went too deep, too soon. Made this weird in record time, wow.

“I didn’t mean it like… I meant if you want to talk to me about your shitty day, you know, you can, but I don’t want you to be uncomf-”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay sweetheart. I get it… thank you for that”, he says, softly. “Maybe some other time. Right now, I honestly just wanna forget about this for a little while... I was really pumped when you called”.

“That’s okay. Really?” You smile, relieved.

“Yeah, really. So… wanna make a guy happy and tell him what you’re wearing?”

With a chuckle, you concede. “Well, nothing. I’m in bed and I sleep naked, so… yeah”.

There’s a heavy pause. “Holy shit. Are you for real?”

“Um, yeah?”

“Jesus, fuck… baby, you can’t say stuff like that and expect me to be normal about it”.

You grin, having just decided that, actually, you wanna play dirty.

“Who says I want you to be normal about it? Besides”, you throw back, suggestively, “I hardly think a woman can be held accountable for what she says after four glasses of wine on a Thursday night… naked and alone, in such a big bed…”

“Now, see, that was a much better pitch for a booty call than the first o-”

“I’m gonna hang up.”

“No, no, no, I’m sorry”, he laughs.

“You’re an asshole”. Even as you say it, you’re smiling.

“And you are a minx, lady. Gettin’ a guy all worked up…”

“Oh, my... I don’t know what you mean…”, you whisper into the comforter, now balled up in your fist over your mouth, as if to cover up your blushing cheeks from an invisible audience.

“Oh, I disagree… I think you know exactly what you’re doing”. There’s a note of sarcasm in his voice you find exhilarating. A sudden noise – like a chair squeaking loudly on a panel floor – can be heard from his end. Followed by… a metallic rattle, more subtle but still clear. A… belt unbuckling?

Wait. Is he…?

You grin, amused. “Mr. Berzatto… I’m hearing suspicious noises. What is going on over there?”

A deep grunt. “Nothin’ much, sweetheart. Just making myself comfortable, is all”.

“And how exactly are you doing that, mister?”

“You know… freeing the junk.”

Your eyebrows shoot up. “Well, that certainly helps set the mood”.

“Hm… baby, can I ask you for something? It’s totally fine if you don’t wanna do it… but I figure I might as well shoot my shot.”

You notice you are sitting up very still against the pillows in your bed, holding your breath in anticipation. “Sure… what is it?”

A heavy pause follows. Your heart feels like it’s about to beat itself out of your ribcage, your throat feels dry, and your tongue sits heavy and thick in your mouth, the taste of wine suddenly overpowering your senses. And you are so horny.

“Could you… send me a photo of you right now? Are you wearing those new glasses?”. He sounds… eager, almost nervous with the way he trips over the second question.

Oh. Something clicks for you, then. You smile. “So, you really liked the new glasses, huh?”

“Shit… c’mon, don’t bust my balls about it”, he says, with an embarrassed chuckle of admission.

“I’m not! It’s very flattering, actually”. You hope you conveyed how much you are not making fun of him. However, you hate misunderstandings, and to dispel any that might be going on here, you decide there is only one acceptable solution.

“Give me a minute”, you tell him, determined. You don’t wait for an answer before you drop your phone and get to work.

Meanwhile, Mikey sits in his rusty office chair, in what he thinks must look like a very… undignified position. Cock out, right hand stroking it lazily, slumped back with his jeans barely down his ass, work shirt dirty and stinking of cooking oil, his entire body tense in a mix of anticipation and shame. A part of him can’t help but wonder if you are fucking with him: laughing from the other end of the line, leaving him hanging – literally and figuratively (he chuckles dejectedly at the realization that he still remembers something from high school Lit class). He guesses he would kinda deserve that. What type of freak asks for nudes after two… dates? Do those rapid-fire coffee-grabs even count? He is so shit at this. Anything more than a casual hook-up or a quickie behind a sleezy pub is rocket science for him. ‘Congrats, loser! You just fucked it, yet again’.

Then, his phone pings. 5 photos received.

In the first one, you are lying on your side, in bed, a dim warm light illuminating the scene. He can see the contours of your body clearly, despite being covered by a layer of nearly sheer white sheets. His gaze follows your exposed collarbone, to the silhouette of your breasts – he is sure you purposefully allowed a bit of side-boob to slip past the entrapment of sheets… just for him.

He swears he could stare at the shapes of your body all day and never get tired – or limp. His dick is throbbing painfully, now.

It does not get better when he sees the rest of the photos. Your face is visible, on those. The last two are his favorites. You are laying on your stomach, with the reading glasses on, as promised – except they sit lower on your nose than usual, so that your eyes peak out from over the top of the frames. Your hair is down, tousled and wild like it’s just gotten messed up. ‘Is this what she looks like after…’. You are holding a glass of wine to your mouth – lips plump and lightly tinged red – that detail drives him a little insane –, and in front of you lays a book, delicately held open with your other hand. And in the last photo, the sheets have slipped lower down your breasts, revealing a generous cleavage. You’re staring directly at the camera with an inquiring gaze, biting your lower lip. ‘Come get me’.

“… Mike? Are you still there?”

It’s been some time since you sent the photos (twenty seconds, which your anxiety tells you is actually half an hour), with no reaction from him. Your cheeks heat up, and you suddenly feel very silly and insecure. Are they even… good? What makes a good nude? Do these even qualify as nudes? You’re not showing anything super explicit… they’re suggestive, at best. Is he going to think you’re a prude? God, why is this so diff-

Mike clears his throat. “Yeah, I… fuck. Fuckin’ hell. Holy shit. Sweetheart… these are so hot. Jesus… thank you so much. You’re so fuckin’ gorgeous…”. The last part comes out as a whisper, like he’s starstruck.  

You didn’t know it was possible to get more flustered than you already were. “You’re welcome… I’m flattered I managed to make Michael Berzatto incoherent over some low-res thirst trap selfies.”

“Baby, these are genuinely the hottest pics I’ve ever seen. You look like a hot librarian or something”.

You laugh out loud, triumphantly. “Ah! I knew it!”

“What?”, he laughs along.

“Something you wanna share with the class, Mr. Berzatto?”.

“Fuck, don’t stop calling me that, sweetheart”, he says, sounding out of breath.

“Yeah?”, you whisper.

“Fuck, yeah. It’s just… I’ve got a thing for girls with a kinda nerdy, librarian type of vibe, you know? And when I saw you this last time, holding a book and wearing your reading glasses… I gotta admit, my mind went straight to the gutter.”

Interesting. “Really? What did you imagine then?”.

A pause. “I’m not sure you want to hear it… I don’t want you thinking I’m a pervert or something”.

You sigh. “Mikey, I just sent you near-naked photos of me. We’re having phone sex. We are two horny adults having fun. Besides…”, you switch your tone to what you hope comes across as faux innocence, “… I asked you about it. It is kinda my fault, right? I guess I was kind of… bad”.

“Oh, is that what’s happening?”. He chuckles, as if saying challenge accepted. “Alright, then. When I saw you like that for the first time, this image popped into my head, right? I mean, you looked like a really hot librarian. So, I started picturing you in that scenario, with big glasses and all – just like the photos you sent me… except you had your hair in a cute ponytail, and your lips were even redder with lipstick… and you were wearing fishnet stockings up to your thighs – fuck, you got such nice legs, baby –, and you had a pair of those… what are they called. Uh, kitten heels. Yeah. Fuck, your ass would look unbelievable like that. I mean, it is unbelievable, you know what I mean? When you show up at the restaurant wearing those cute little dresses and skirts, I feel my dick twitching in my pants… that’s how hot you are, baby… that’s how crazy you make me feel.”

His words were streaming out like an avalanche – a filthy stream-of-consciousness. Flash images of all the times you were together pop into your mind. He was always nice and polite to you, if cheeky – that was his personality, after all. You’d never felt disrespected or threatened around him. Maybe that’s why, now that you knew he had been actively thinking about you like this… you were very turned on.

“Too much, sweetheart? You wanna keep listening to this filth?”

“… yeah, Mikey. Keep going. What happened then?”

“Then, I took you to a hidden corner in the library, rucked up your pretty little skirt and ripped your real nice dress shirt open… you know, so I could suck on your tits while I fucked you hard against some shelves. Didn’t even need to rip your panties off, ‘cause you weren’t wearing any. Just lifted you up and slammed my cock right into your pussy… God, you were drippin’ wet for me, and you mewled so sweetly… loud, too. Had to shove my fingers into your pretty mouth to keep you quiet. That’s what I imagined, sweetheart. More or less.”

The crass and vivid way in which he described his fantasy made you speechless. It was exhilarating. Knowing that all those times he had talked to you with a straight face, he had been actively fantasizing about fucking you hard. His words.

“Jesus Christ, Mikey”, you breathe out. “That’s… I can’t believe we had entire conversations while you had a cheap porn flick playing in your head”, you laugh softly, unconvincingly.

He sighed deeply. “See, I knew this was a bad idea… honey, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you feel like shit. I guess I’m just a fucking perv-”

“Babe…”, you interrupt him, gentle, but firm, “shut up, please. I’m messing with you. I told you, it’s very flattering that you’re attracted to me. In fact… it’s super hot. Knowing you were having all those dirty thoughts about me while still being a gentleman… is making me feel all kinds of things, right now.”

“Yeah? What kinds of things?”

“Good things, Mikey… I’m so wet right now”, you mewl, the need for release in your core overwhelming the embarrassment you would be feeling otherwise. Without thinking, you kick the sheets away from your body and cup one of your breasts, kneading it and flicking your nipple – a moan leaves your mouth in a desperate plea.

“Fuck”, he whispers, “you got wet over that filth? Jesus Christ, baby. I won the fuckin’ lottery”.

You are burning with desire, and you can feel your pussy throbbing when you finally give in, sliding one hand down and shoving two fingers inside with barely any resistance. “Mikey… I wanna come so bad. Can you talk me through it… please?”

“Fuck… yeah, sweetheart, anything you want”. He moans, then, and you don’t think you have ever been so turned on in your life. Mikey Berzatto, a horny, moaning mess, jerking off in his mess of an office at 3 am… because of you.

Chicago’s Helen of Troy. You chuckled softly at the thought and decided to up the ante. “Baby… do you know what I was thinking when you were telling that beautiful story just now?”

He laughs, voice recked. “What, baby?”

You pout, and add another finger in, increasing the pace of the thrusts. “I wish you had pictured kissing me real hard, while I unbuckled your belt… would you let me get down on my knees for you, baby? I really wanna have you in my mouth, Mikey, like, right now”. Your words come out broken, sentences all messed up – you sound pathetic, but you are so past caring.

“Shit-”, a gasp, followed by a deep breath and the noise of something hitting a surface really hard. “… holy shit. Baby, I imagined all that and a whole lot more – seriously, you have no idea. Hell, if the lady wants to suck my dick, who am I to deny her, uh? Fuck. Would you let me fuck your mouth, baby…?”

You moan loudly at that and realize you need both hands, putting the phone on speaker – fuck the neighbors – and bringing your other hand to your clit, rubbing lightly, but fast. You were so close. The thought of kneeling on the floor, clothes and hair all messed up from Mikey’s hands, lipstick smudged… looking up at him, and watching his composure unravel because of you…

“Hm… yeah, Mikey, I think I would… ‘cause you’re so nice to me… such a gentleman, even when you’re fucking me hard… would you ask me real nice, baby? Hold my face gently in your big hands, while you fuck it?”

“Fuck, baby… I would treat you so right, you deserve everything-”, he chokes up and, for a few moments, you hear a distant cacophony of noises, like he’s put the phone down. Then, he’s back. “Sorry, sweetheart, I need both hands now”, he chuckles.

You giggle, “Me too… you got me so hot I’m fucking myself on my fingers and rubbing my clit at the same time… and it’s still not enough. I need you…”

“Fuck, that’s so hot. You fuckin’ yourself because of me… I know it’s not enough, baby… you need my cock, don’t you?”

“Yes! Mikey… please…”, you howl, completely out of your mind.

“How do you want me to fuck you, baby? Hm? Want it nice and slow? Nah… I think you like it fast and rough, don’t you? Long as I keep kissing you real good, touchin’ you real gentle, all over your body… you’d let me do anything to you, wouldn’t you?”. How he manages to say such filthy things with so much honey dripping from every syllable, is beyond you.

“Yeah, fuck, baby… it doesn’t matter. I’m so wet already, you don’t need to do anything else, just hoist me up in your arms and pin me against the shelves… and shove it in me”.

You are still holding onto a shred of decency because you blush at your own crass admission – still, there is clearly not a whole lot left, as you start rubbing your clit and fucking yourself harder and faster. “I don’t want you to be gentle when you fuck me… I just need to feel your cock stretch me open… wanna feel the sting of it for days, be at work and not be able to focus because all I can think about is how you fucked me so good-”

At this point, you have no idea if he can understand anything you’re saying, because your words are intercut with moans and gasps and mewls and incoherent babble, as you’re about to reach your peak imagining Mikey’s on top of you, railing you into the bed.

“Baby, I’m gonna come… fuckin’ Christ”.

“Mikey- fuck!”.

Your body shakes and your eyes roll back from the strength of your orgasm. Distantly, your brain registers a broken string of moans and curses from the other end of the line.

A few seconds pass, and you feel yourself coming back down to Earth. You lazily stretch out on the bed, completely relaxed and fucked out. “That’s so cute… we came at the same time, babe”, you happily whisper, a ditsy smile on your face.

He huffs, amused “Yeah… what can I say? I’m a romantic at heart”.

You laugh sincerely. “This was… so good, actually. I’m glad I gave into my instinct and called you”.

“Well, I’m even more sticky now”. You both laugh at that. “But I’m also glad you called… like, really glad. Uh, can I ask you something?”

You notice a shift in his voice.

“Yeah… what is it?”

“I don’t want things to get weird between us after this… Like, I don’t want you to feel like you need to do all these things to get me off. You know what I mean? It’s just a fantasy… I’ll have you in any way you want me. Okay?”

You feel a tightness in your chest, and you wish, not for the first time tonight, you had him right in front of you so you could kiss him all over and hug him.

“Mikey… I genuinely liked tonight. And the more we talk, the more I like you. You’re not the only one who feels like you won the lottery…”.

“Baby… you’re too sweet. Don’t you think you already got me blushing enough for one night?”

“That’s fucking rich. I must’ve gone through all shades of red tonight, because of your filthy mouth”.

“Please. You loved it”, he chuckles.

“Yeah, I guess I did”, you concede, with a smile.

After saying goodbye – and confirming that yes, you would very much like for him to pick you up and take you to dinner later – you fall asleep fast, your mind finally catching up to the pleasant tiredness in your body, a soft smile on your lips.

😍😍

Everyone else sees it too, right? 😏

Pedro Pascal before the Met Gala (via Pierpaolo Piccioli’s intagram)

Well, this is going to be my entire personality for the rest of the week.

I love this!

Look for the Light - 1

Masterlist

Summary: Four years ago, Joel saved you from certain death. In return, you followed him faithfully. Always ready to do and give him whatever he asked, despite the hurt it inflicted on you, body and soul. Agreeing to go with him to deliver Ellie to the Fireflies… this would be the last time you’d follow him… After this, your debt would be paid.

Relationships: Reader x Joel Miller, Joel Miller & Ellie, Reader & Ellie

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose to give none. Read at your own risk. 18+ (So excited to share this with you. So much to come folks! 🙊😍)

Series Masterlist

You were standing guard when you overheard their conversation. You’d not meant to eavesdrop but when your name had fallen from Ellie's lips, you couldn’t help yourself. 

“You and her a thing?” The child asked and Joel scoffed. 

“Pass.” He replied and your heart sank. 

“Something is going on with you two though.” She stated matter of factly and you could almost picture Joel’s expression. 

“Pass.” He replied again and that was your cue to turn around again and return to keeping the watch. 

“How'd you end up in Boston?” Ellie pushed and Joel practically grumbled out his reply. 

“Pass.” His favourite response “No more questions about me.” 

You tuned out after that. You could vaguely hear them discussing the life expectancy of the infected but you didn’t care to listen. Your mind instead wandered back to how you had met Tess and Joel. How they’d saved you from almost certain death. 

You were sure you were hallucinating when two figures came into view. You blamed it on the blood loss. Damn raiders had got you good. Clutching to your leg, you watched them slink into view. You knew they would likely kill you. If anything, they would put you out of your misery. So that’s why, when they had gotten close enough, you’d called out for help. The shadows blocked the sun as they came to a stop beside you, your vision going black as they crouched to your level. 

“She’s been shot.” Stated Tess as she inspected your wound “Best just leave her here.” She stated as she got back to her feet but Joel remained. 

Normally he would have agreed with his partner. He’d left plenty of doomed souls to die where he’s found them but there was something about you that drew him in. 

“We’re not far from Bill and Frank’s.” He stated as he placed two fingers on your neck “If we get her there, they could help.” 

“Bill barely lets us in.” Tess grumbled, “What makes you think he’ll help her!” She scoffed. 

“Frank will.”

“Why do you care Joel?” She asked, pulling his gaze to her “She’s a nobody. You’ve done it before!” 

Joel didn’t reply. He simply scooped her up into his arms and started walking. Less than an hour later, Frank was patching you up and Bill was grumbling about dragging strays into his town. 

You hadn’t strayed from Joel's side a day since 

 “You can put the gun down, Joel.” Sat Tess as she managed to barge the door open. 

You made your way to Ellie's side and studied Tess’ expression. 

“What is it?” You ask and she simply motioned for you to follow. 

This couldn’t be good news. 

Following through the abandoned hotel restaurant, you made your way to what looked like a balcony in the middle of renovations, before everything went to hell. Stepping through a plastic curtain the truth of your predicament came to light. You wouldn’t be going the way you’d hoped. 

“There’s so many.” Gasped Ellie and you glanced at the girl a moment before sharing a look with Joel. 

“The last time we were here, they were still deep inside the buildings.” Stated Tess as she watched the infected writhe on the floor “Then I guess enough people came through looking for the QZ, they went inside seeking shelter... and that's how they get more and more of the city bit by bit, year after year.“

A cloud parting overhead allowed the sun to shine its light down on the hoard below and their snarling became louder and almost pained. Ellie’s eyes widened in realisation as she watched them all writhe and scream on the ground below them. 

“They’re connected!” She stated and you sighed. 

“More than you know.” You stated as you looked from her to Tess “The fungus grows underground. Long fibres like wires some of them stretching for over a mile.” 

Tess scraped a hand over her face as she then looked up at Joel before looking down at the child standing beside you. 

“Now, you step on a patch of cordyceps in one place, and you can wake a dozen Infected from somewhere else.“ She piped up and Ellie looked over at the older woman “You’re not immune from being ripped apart. You understand?” 

Ellie nodded before looking back down at the infected blow. 

“It’s important.” Tess continued, her tone firm “I’m tryin’ to keep you alive.” 

Ellie gave the woman a nod and then that was that. End of conversation. 

“So we’re not going that way.” She grumbled and you shook your head. 

“No.” 

“What do we do then?” She asked, looking up at Joel “Short way?” She asked, almost panicked. 

“Museum.” He replied, glancing at Tess before his eyes came to rest on you. 

“Come on, we need to get going.” Piped up Tess as she led the way back into the hotel. 

You followed without question, only to be stopped by a firm hand on your wrist. 

“Joel, what are you-“ 

“You should head back.” He stated firmly “It’s gonna get dangerous.” 

“More so than it already has been?” You scoffed, pulling your hand from his grip “Why me and not Tess?” 

“She has more experience in this sorta thing.” He replied and you rolled your eyes “I’m serious.” 

“You just wanna keep a backup play thing in case you lose one.” You replied bitterly.

“That’s not.” He shook his head and you scoffed again. 

“So you’re not fuckin’ us both?” You pushed, leaving Joel at a loss for words “Look, Joel, I’m not your girlfriend. You can fuck who you like but I’m also not your property. So you can’t order me around. I will deliver the girl then that’s it.” 

“What is?” He asked and for a moment, you thought you could sense fear in his tone.  

“I’m done.” You replied plainly before making your way back inside and leaving a speechless Joel in your wake. 

A mixture of emotions washed over him. Frustration, anger, hurt! Just to name a few. But the main one was sadness. Hearing you say that after this, you were done with him had cut him deeper than you knew. He had never been the best at showing you what you meant to him but he’d hoped you knew that you meant something. Maybe even everything. 

But it was clear to him that you knew nothing of his feelings. That, or you simply didn’t return them. 

"You've gotta be fսcking kidding me." Grumbled Ellie as she looked up at the old building. 

Fungus had enveloped most of the front of the structure. You could already picture how it looked inside. Bodies permanently fused the walls and floors. Their expressions set in stone for the rest of time. 

"Well, there's a way across from the top floor." Tess stated as Joel started to inspect the Museum entrance before glancing at you. 

You hadn't looked at him since leaving the hotel. Rolling his shoulders back and schooled his features, returning his attention to the fungus-covered building. 

"Well, then I guess it's fine." 

You smirked at Ellie's sarcastic reply, knowing how riled up Joel would be by it. The man appeared to be all stoicism and few words but in reality, it was easy to push his buttons. 

"We used to take it all the time." You piped up, looking at the teenager. 

"Okay."

"Look it was fine." Tess continued but Ellie cut her off with her one-word response. 

"Awesome." 

You finally turned your attention to Joel who was inspecting the fungus more closely. Knocking it a few times with the butt of his gun before turning to look at you all again. 

"It's bone dry." He stated as he made his way back over to Tess' side, the two of them sharing a look that had the green monster inside of you flaring its nostrils. 

"It could mean they're all finally dead in there." He suggested and Tess nodded before glancing at you. 

It was the first time since leaving the hotel that you'd studied his expression and your brows drew together as you studied the sudden soulful look he was giving you. You allowed yourself, just for a moment, to believe that he was looking at you that way because he cared about you. You knew that you were little more than a sidekick and an occasional release for this man. 

The release part had been a more common occurrence lately. How it had started was still a little fuzzy. The two of you had come close to death, had gotten drunk and fucked each other's brains out. Then, when Tess was indisposed, he'd come to you for an escape from the real world and you'd taken what you could get. 

Then something changed and you spent most evenings in each other's beds. You'd hated how easily you had allowed him to use you but you had fallen for him. So you let it happen over and over, simply to have something. Even if it hurt you, body and soul. 

You'd barely had a moment to react to the sound of your door opening and closing before Joel was on you. Normally you would be quick to respond to his needy kisses but that evening you weren't and he noticed it straight away. 

"What's wrong?" He asked, pulling back to look at you properly "You been drinking?" 

"So what if I have?" You asked, pushing him off of you and reaching for the whiskey on your side table "HEY!" You growled when he snatched it from you and took a swig.

"Need to catch up." He grumbled and you rolled your eyes at him. 

"Bad day?" 

"Could say that." He lamented, taking another long pull before handing it to you. 

The two of you shared the bottle before he was kissing you again but it was different to before. He took his time, his hands tracing your curves as his lips painted your flesh with his passion. Clothes were removed and then his mouth devoured your sex. This was new. He'd never done this to you before and as his tongue played you perfectly, you wondered, why now? 

His thick fingers pushing into your heat had you hurtling towards your climax. Joel crooked his fingers perfectly, fingertips brushing against that spongy spot inside that no one had ever reached before and you came with a cry. 

"Mmmm, I love the sounds you make when you cum." He purred as he situated himself between your thighs. 

You grinned up at him as you allowed your feelings for him to leak out. The expression was quickly wiped from your face when he pushed his throbbing length into you. 

"Fuck." You choked, throwing your head back and baring your neck at him. 

He nipped and kissed the flesh there as he thrust languidly in and out of you. The usual frenzied sex you shared was replaced with something slower and so much more passionate. He hit your sweet spot over and over as his tongue danced with yours. His hips grinding into you were all it took to have you cumming around him and he growled in your ear as his release took hold of him and he painted your walls with his spent. 

That night you fell asleep in each other's arms and you woke up to him holding you against his firm body. You smiled at the sound of his soft snores before your head and allowed yourself to revel in the feel of this domestic moment because you knew the moment he woke up... It would be over. 

You were dragged from your memory by Joel calling after you. Standing at the door with his gun in hand you nodded and made your way over to him. You walked passed him without a glance, your own gun now firmly clasped in your hands. 

Torches brought to light that the museum looked exactly how you had pictured it. The building creaked and groaned from the weight of the dead fungus and you wondered how much longer the structure could handle it. 

"Yeah... cooked." Joel stated as his torch illuminated the petrified remains of an infected victim. 

"Oh, finally, some fuckin' luck." Said Tess as she winked at Ellie. 

"I guess we should've gone this way in the first place.." Joel uttered as he stepped further in and you rolled your eyes at his statement. 

Hindsight was a wonderful thing. 

"Oh shit!" Yelped Ellie and you sprinted to her side to see a fresh corpse, flesh cut to ribbons "What the fuck did that?" 

"Maybe..." Tess trailed off, her breathing picking up as she looked from you to Joel "maybe he was attacked outside, and crawled through the doors." She whispered and both you and Ellie turned to look at her "The door was open... Could've been him."

Ellie gave you a panicked look before returning her attention to Tess and Joel. 

"I don't hear anything." 

"Who would you hear?" Ellie asked and Joel was quick to shush her "Who would you hear?" She repeated in a hushed tone. 

Joel glanced at you a moment. You looked scared and he wanted nothing more than to pull you into his arms and tell you that everything was going to be okay. He then looked back at the teenager who was looking at him for answers.

"Are you saying an Infected did that?"

"Shhh."

"Because I've been attacked by one and it wasn't like that." Ellie uttered as she glanced back at the body. 

"Okay, from this point forward, we are silent. Not quite... Silent." Joel instructed as he looked between you, Ellie and Tess. 

"What..."

"No. No questions. Just do it." 

There was no room for argument. You all followed him up the stairs without question and what greeted you, would haunt your nightmares for years to come. You were split from Joel the moment a clicker came screaming at you. The last time you saw him, he was battling one on his own whilst Tess and Ellie ran for cover. 

When you found each other again, it was in the attic of the museum. You couldn't stop yourself from pulling Joel into a hug when he sprinted into view with Ellie at his side but then Tess stepped in and you pulled away. You didn't look at him as you climbed out the window and sprint across the makeshift bridge beyond. You hated the fact you'd let your feelings control your actions but you'd just been so happy to see him. You heard Ellie speaking behind you but you kept your attention fixed on the view. 

"You're in love with him aren't you." She asked out of the blue and you glanced at her a second before looking back to the derelict skyline. 

"Pass." 

"God, you all really hate talking about your feelings huh?" Ellie scoffed and you allowed yourself to smile at her comment a moment before your shoulders tensed as Joel stepped up beside Ellie. 

"Is it everything you hoped for?" He asked the teenager, glancing at you and then at her. 

"Jury's still out." She replied as she looked out at the cityscape "But, man, you can't deny that view." 

"Should have seen it when the buildings were still standing." You chuffed, remembering how it looked when you'd visited with your parents. You'd been just a few years older than her, there visiting your aunt who'd lived in an apartment building that was now reduced to little more than shattered glass. 

"C'mon, let's get there before it's dark." Ordered Tess as she stomped past the three of you and after a short glance at Joel you followed the older woman wordlessly. 

The walk gave you time to think. In a few minutes, you would be handing Ellie over to the Fireflies. You had told Joel that after this, you were done. You just weren't sure you could really leave the man who owned you body and soul. Then when you glanced at him and noted the look he and Tess shared, you decided you had to. 

After today... You and Joel were done. You wouldn't be following him into certain danger ever again. 

How wrong you were going to be. 

Next

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Justified - Chapter 7

A Negan Series

Chapter 6 - Chapter 5 - Chapter 4 - Chapter 3 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 1

Warnings: smut - detailed and implied. Language. 18+ only.

A/n - Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me on this journey! There's one more little wrap up to this series coming (Daryl reunion, anyone?), but this piece feels good to finally finish. As always, feedback is welcome!

Her days bedridden passed lazily and slowly. Negan woke her with long, sensual kisses each morning before leaving her for most of the day.

She read to pass the time, sometimes reading aloud to Negan when he joined her again in the evenings. She liked making use of her vocal muscles, any way to release some of the energy that was returning to her more each day. He liked the sound of her voice, never really paying much attention to the subject of her reading. She noticed this, of course, and began sneaking in some smutty romance to see if he’d notice.

He did.

The IV and the pain of her wound still prevented much physical activity, but they found plenty of ways to work around that. The more time they spent together, the more they seemed to crave it.

In her moments alone, she found herself thinking of Daryl and did her best to push the thoughts away. Often unsuccessful, she sat in self-loathing, remembering the person she was with him. In the months they’d shared, they’d easily fallen into a rhythm of teamwork. Their runs together took longer than any other runs, not only because they enjoyed the time with one another, or because they liked to take advantage of the alone time with stolen kisses (and often more than that). Neither would openly admit it to the other, but they both brought with them a list for others in the community. Items Tara would request, or something that might make Carl smile, or a snack or drink Daryl had overheard Rosita reminiscing about. Anything one of their family would enjoy having. They both loved watching the faces of their people light up when they saw their treats. Both she and Daryl had figured out the other was doing the same thing, but neither wanted to call attention to it. It was an unspoken quest they were both happy to be part of.

 On the days they were working apart, sometimes with schedules so opposite they’d only see each other in passing, they had developed a secret code to signal the other for a secret rendezvous. A hideous turquoise and zebra print scarf - found in the bottom of a closet in the room they shared in the Grimes’s Alexandria home - spotted tied around a post, or tree, or car mirror, meant they’d find the other waiting for them at their claimed spot in the woods. It was a small clearing, wildflowers blooming across it in the spring, bordered on one edge by a large, downed tree that was great for sitting, but more importantly hid them from view from anyone who might be wandering from the community. They’d return home together half an hour later, smiling conspicuously, their clothes in disarray and often picking leaves and twigs off each other, before separating again to the tasks they’d been assigned. It was good. He was good, and she was good. They were happy.

The thought of returning to that now left her heart torn in two; she longed for it, for him to look at her in that trusting, happy way; and she knew without doubt that she could never have that again. When Daryl learned what she’d done, who she’d become…she imagined his face, what would simmer in his eyes when he looked at her, and she couldn’t bear it. Pushing the image deep within herself, she’d pick up another book and force herself to focus on the words.

She couldn’t deny that things had changed here in the Sanctuary. The people were mostly the same, though many of the Saviors she’d come to know would send her gifts and cards to wish her a speedy recovery, many stopping by to say hello and offer help. The place seemed brighter, somehow. Lighter. Like everyone was breathing easier. Even Negan seemed to have softened some. He was brooding less, and his jokes not so dark. It was nothing like Alexandria had been, but she couldn’t deny it felt… comfortable. Happy, even.

She almost kissed the doctor on the mouth when he informed her that her infection had cleared up and she could stop the IVs and begin light activity to strengthen her leg.

Negan turned his grin toward her as the doctor left the room. “So, would you like a walk outside or a shower?” he asked her, knowing both were on the top of her list of things to do first. She slowly stood, taking his outstretched hand and limping toward him.

It took a frustratingly long time to reach him. Finally in front of him, she lifted to her tiptoes, putting most weight on her good leg to do so, and planted her lips firmly against his. When he returned her kiss, she began unbuckling the belt of his pants. “I can think of something else I’d like first,” she mumbled against his mouth.

He pulled away to look her in the eye. “Are you sure?”

“The doctor said light activity was good for me,” she replied seductively.

He lifted her off the floor and she wrapped her legs around him and returned her lips to his.

“Not the bed,” she said against his mouth when he started moving her backwards. She’d spent too much time in that bed lately. He pivoted and instead made his way to the couch with her. He sat, her straddling his lap, and their kisses got more heated. Their tongues in a playful dance, her occasionally biting his lip in the way that drove him crazy. She felt his growing erection pressing into her core from within his jeans.

She made her way to his neck, sucking and kissing the tender spots, eliciting deep growls of pleasure from him.

She slowly moved to put her knees on the floor before him, careful not to flex her thigh too much, and finished the job of undoing his belt. She looked up at him with sultry eyes, biting her lip as she worked on his jeans, the heat in his eyes immediately making her wet between her thighs.

His jeans undone, his member sprung free of its cage, and she felt a tingle deep between her legs. The thick shaft, hard as a rock, beckoned for her to consume it. She conceded to its call, taking his tip into her mouth and flicking it with her tongue. She varied between a light suck and massaging it with her tongue, and raising her eyes, watched as he held her eye contact with every gasp she drew from him. She moved her mouth further down his length, working her tongue underneath his shaft. His head rolled back as she took him as far into her mouth as she could, coughing when he reached her gag reflex. Her hands moved to the area of shaft that remained exposed as she worked him up and down with her mouth, massaging and pumping him. Continuing with her mouth pumping and her hands massaging, she heard his moans and sharp breaths, and knew he didn’t have much further to go before he found release.

She withdrew from him, carefully and timidly standing, and met his eyes as she slowly dropped her pajama shorts to the floor. Stepping out of them, she pulled her shirt over her head and threw it haphazardly in the direction of the bed. Now bare before him, he could not help but reach out and touch her. She let him trace her shape with his hands from her hips to her breasts, where he cupped each in one hand. She moved to straddle him while he massaged her, and lowered herself until she felt his hardness pressed against her. She raised just slightly, enough to place his tip at her entrance, and she paused there. She leaned in, kissing him passionately. She began rocking her hips back and forth, feeling his slick tip rub up and down her center. She moved her mouth to his neck again, continuing the movement of her hips. She wanted him inside her, but not yet. She leaned back to look in his eyes as she continued teasing him and saw a plead in his eyes. He made to push into her, and she pushed his abdomen back down, preventing him.

“Y/n,” he moaned out, the plead moving from his eyes to his voice.

Her lips curled upward in a devious smile, she savored the power she held over him.

“Y/n,” this time a deeper growl, laced with demand.

She grinned wickedly at him, then holding his cock with her hand, moved him to her entrance and lowered herself onto him, fully sheathing him in her tight warmth. She leaned further away from him as she rolled her hips, savoring the way he filled her. He gripped her hips, steadying her with each roll. Negan began pumping up into her, finding her rhythm and matching it. They held eye contact as they rhythmically moved together. She picked up the pace and he groaned as his eyes rolled back in his head. She moved her hand between her legs, but he pushed it aside to replace it with one of his own. She felt her orgasm building as she continued to ride him, feeling him hit every wall within her, while he rubbed her clit in circles. As her moans grew louder and her eyes closed, she felt him pump up into her more vigorously. She shattered, leaning into him and crying out. When he was sure she’d ridden out her high, Negan lifted her and placing her on her back on the floor, quickly pumped back into her. He worked her fiercely, removing his cock almost completely from her and then pounding back in. Out and in, out and in, grunting with each insertion. She couldn’t stop herself from crying out in pleasure at every pump. A second orgasm was now verging on release. His pumps became more frantic, animalistic and he shoved in and out of her, her hands gripping the hair on the back of his head, and she gasped as her second release exploded through her. He followed immediately, erupting within her with a cry of his own. He stilled as he finished, pumped into her a few short times as she rode out her high, and then collapsed on the floor beside her, both panting.

“Fuck, y/n,” Negan said in a breathless voice.

The floodgates opened; they could not seem to get enough of each other after that. Not half an hour later, they were at it again in the shower. Her energy depleted quickly in her recovering state. Following the shower, she climbed back into bed, exhausted and sore. She smiled as she drifted into sleep. She awoke to Negan between her legs again, eager and demanding. After dinner, she did attempt a walk outside, but couldn’t get down more than three stairs before having Negan help her back to his room. Her leg throbbing from all the movement, the doctor gave her something strong for the pain. She slept a fitful sleep, dreaming of Daryl throughout the night.

-------

As she continued to recover, she did not return to her own room. There was no mention of it from either of them. The sex didn’t slow. They found themselves hungrily attaching to each other with every spare minute Negan could find. It did not matter where they were, and soon she was sure he’d had her in every room of the Sanctuary, and even places that weren’t rooms. Each day she got stronger and able to walk further, until finally she was limping around the border gates unsupported.

She was finishing one of those such walks, heading back toward the stairwell entrance where Negan had disappeared - giving her a suggestive nod to follow him inside - when she saw it. It was a brief flash of color in the corner of her eye, causing her to look again. Just another walker chained to the fence, she turned to walk to the door and froze. That was just another walker, but what it was wearing stopped her heart. She slowly turned to look again, hoping she imagined it. She hadn’t.

Draped around the walker’s decaying neck was the familiar black, white, and turquoise scarf.

She scanned the perimeter, panic rising in her. He couldn’t be here; it would be so stupid to come back here. A flash from the corner of a rundown building caught her attention, she squinted to see a figure half hidden there, rotating a small mirror to catch the sun. She moved closer to the fence, and the man stepped out from the building. Aaron. She relaxed a little, selfishly grateful it was not Daryl putting his life in danger. She shook her head at him as if to say, not now. She tapped her wrist where a watch would be, and held up three fingers, then shifted them into a circle. Thirty minutes, she willed him to understand. He nodded and disappeared completely behind the building.

Thirty minutes later, she was hobbling away from a disappointed Negan through the gates and toward the buildings across the street from the Sanctuary. He had been expecting a hot and heavy round in the stairs with her when she told him she’d seen something suspicious in the town. She suspected just a loose walker but wanted to check it out. He protested, but she’d made a solid argument for needing to get her sea legs back. She needed the practice. As she veered left, heading toward an alley two buildings away from where she’d seen Aaron, she heard light footsteps behind her. She grinned to herself as she picked up her pace and ducked around the building. She moved as quickly as she could around buildings, down alleys, seemingly lost and wandering, until she found the cracked door of the building Aaron had been hiding behind. She was met with stairs, and took them to the first landing, where she found another door cracked open. She had just stepped through it when she heard the outside door squeak open behind her.

She located Aaron in the second room on the right and as quickly as possible whispered “We are not alone. Speak carefully.”

Aaron squinted and blinked at her as he processed what she’d said. She began the conversation in a hushed voice, “What are you doing here? Are you trying to get yourself killed? Because that is what will happen if they find you sneaking around out here.”

“Are you okay?” he replied. “Some Saviors came looking for Daryl, said he’d run away.  We wanted to see if you were still here, are you okay?”

“I’m fine. You shouldn’t have come here. Don’t let them see you when you leave.” She turned to leave.

“Come with me,” Aaron said. She halted and turned to face him again.

“Why would I?” she asked coldly.

“Why would you stay here? These people… Negan…,” Aaron searched for the words, “you’re better than this. Better than them. You belong with us.”

She scoffed. “I’m right where I should be.”

Aaron searched her face, and she softened it a little. She had quickly liked Aaron; he was such a genuine person. “I’m not going back with you,” she said, more gently this time.

As she turned again to leave, Aaron grabbed her by the arm. Their eyes met, and she saw fierce warning in them. “We’re going to fight, Y/N. Soon. We will not hesitate to take down anyone on his side. You should come back.”

“Aaron,” she gave her own warning, “You can’t fight him. Numbers are not on your side, and you’ve lost enough people. Don’t lose more for no reason.”

She pulled her arm from his grip and made for the door. When she got to the threshold and saw no one in the hall, she turned to Aaron one more time, with a plea in her eye.

“Give me a couple of days. To talk to him, try to convince him to negotiate with Rick. I don’t want anyone else to die.”

Aaron gave her one short nod. She left.

-------

She found Negan and Dwight talking in low voices in the courtyard when she came through the gate. She should have guessed that little weasel was the one following her, now giving a full report of what he’d heard from her meeting with Aaron. Negan gave an order and Dwight nodded and disappeared inside the building, leaving her limping toward Negan alone.

“I don’t see any walker blood on you,” Negan said, giving her a once over.

“I don’t appreciate you having me followed. Especially not by him,” she replied, jerking her chin in the direction Dwight had gone.

“I don’t like being lied to,” he replied shortly.

“What did he tell you?”

“That we’re going to war,” he replied as he moved to the door and held it open, indicating she should join him inside. She saw a couple of guys hanging around a few feet past the entrance. She stopped as she entered the building, and faced Negan as he entered behind her.

“You don’t have to go to war, Negan,” she said, sincerity flooding her voice. “You could meet with Rick, find a solution that works for all of us to keep the peace. Work out a trade deal with him. Not everything has to be a fight.”

“This does.”

“Negan,” she touched his arm, “aren’t you tired of this? Aren’t you tired of losing our people?” The term struck her as odd – our people. But they were her people, too. They had become her people. She knew the guys here, knew their families, where they’d come from and what they’d been through. She’d spent months getting to know them, and she even liked a good number of them. “He kills our guys, you kill his, is it going to go on and on forever?”

“No, I am not tired, and no it will not go on and on forever. We are going to end this, for real this time.”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

“You can’t just make that decision; you can’t just ignore other options because you and Rick aren’t done measuring your dicks. We’ve lost too many people already.”

Negan looked at the guys standing nearby, who had not even tried to hide that they were eavesdropping. When they saw him looking at them, they immediately found themselves needed somewhere else.

“In private,” Negan looked at her, furious, “you can say whatever the hell you want to me, but you question me in front of my guys again,” he looked pointedly where the men had been standing, then moved in close to her as he said “I will shut. your. shit. down. Are we clear?”

She did not break his stare.

“I’ll take that as a yes. Now, move your ass. You have an assembly to join.”

She entered the large warehouse area and proceeded down the stairs to join the large group of Saviors and workers gathered there. She noticed the two guys who’d heard her conversation with Negan gathered with a group of other guys, talking lowly and watching her as she passed them. Telling them what she’d said to Negan, no doubt. One thing about the Saviors, she could count on them all to be busybodies and gossips.

Negan began from his place on the platform above the assembly, briefly explaining that Rick and his “merry band” were planning on coming for them, and it was time to put an end to them. She waited patiently, watching the crowd as they began whispering and grumbling amongst themselves. The mood of the room shifted - the dissatisfaction was almost tangible. Those busybodies had done fast work.  

She raised her hand, willing herself not to shake, not to show the overwhelming sense of fear she felt. This is what she’d been working toward for months.

Negan saw her hand, his eyes found hers, and he could have burned holes into her with the look behind them.

“I am not currently taking questions,” he said curtly. Everyone turned to see who he was speaking to.

“I don’t have a question,” she said, her voice miraculously unshaken. “More of a statement – I think we should take a vote.”

“A vote?” he answered in surprise.

“Yes. You and Rick have been at each other for months now. He’s killed way more of our people than we have of his. We should vote if we want to continue fighting him.”

“We don’t vote here,” Negan said, at a near laugh. “In case you are confused, this has never been, and never will be a democracy. If I say you are going to fight, you are going to fight.”

“Why are we even doing this? They don’t have a food source, they don’t have any weapons, we already took those. They aren’t really giving us anything. This is about nothing but you and your pride. He doesn’t want to keep kissing your ass, and you’re pissed off about it. If you won’t let us vote, then I won’t sit by and watch these people, my friends, die for your sick games and your pride.”

She could hear the murmurs growing in volume around her, felt the tension as everyone waited to see what Negan would do.

“You know where the door is,” he said as he gestured behind him. “No one is forcing anyone to stay here. But if you want to continue living the lovely, easy life you’ve seemed to grow accustomed to, you will fall. in. line.” Each word of his dripping with rage and threat.

“I’m not being unreasonable, Negan,” she pressed, “I just want you to consider less drastic options. I just want the bloodshed to end.”

Negan stared at her, rage nearly visibly radiating from him. Low agreements began filling the room.

After what felt like several minutes of a hate-filled staring contest, she began pushing through the crowd toward the exit.

“I can’t be part of it,” she said as she passed under his perch on the bridge, “I can’t watch you get us all killed.”

She left the building and began walking toward the vehicles parked outside. She heard the doors open behind her and turning, saw three women rushing toward her. “We want to go with you!” Tanya all but yelled at her as Negan’s remaining wives caught up to her.

They hadn’t made it to a vehicle yet when the doors opened again, and men began trickling out - a few at first, then more and more -all heading for their own bikes and trucks and muttering and griping. By the time the wives had loaded into the old SUV she pointed them to, the yard was filled with what looked like every Savior from the assembly, all preparing their own vehicles.

She did not try to hide her grin as she drove through the gates of the Sanctuary, and watched as the yard emptied behind her, following. She was almost giddy - it had worked so perfectly.

-------

No one was there when Rick and the small army he had gathered came to take Negan. They rounded each corner confused, finding every hall, every room, completely empty. Even the workers had abandoned the place, gathering supplies and food, first.

They found Negan sitting alone in his room, sipping his whiskey on his couch. He put up no fight as Rick tied him up and brought him back to Alexandria, locking him in the cell Morgan had built.

Yours truly,

Seriously. All yours. Truly.

Like or reblog if you would send a love letter to Snape

This was heartbreaking 💔

He’s so tender. I just want them to hold each other!

Look for the Light - 5

Masterlist

Summary: Four years ago, Joel saved you from certain death. In return, you followed him faithfully. Always ready to do and give him whatever he asked, despite the hurt it inflicted on you, body and soul. Agreeing to go with him to deliver Ellie to the Fireflies… this would be the last time you’d follow him… After this, your debt would be paid.

Relationships: Reader x Joel Miller, Joel Miller & Ellie, Reader & Ellie

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose to give none. Read at your own risk. 18+ (So excited to share this with you. So much to come folks! 🙊😍)

Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

You watched Joel from your seat beside the fire. The stone wall at your back does little to keep back the biting cold. You knew you must be close to where Tommy's last known location was and your mind started to wander as to what the plan was once you found him. Joel was so certain that his brother would lead them to the fireflies and yet believed that unlikely. The man had left them for a reason.

"You two ever going to speak again?" Ellie piped up, pulling your attention away from Joel.

"Ellie." You warned but the teenager scoffed.

"You two have barely spoken a word to each other since..." She trailed off, knowing the subject was still raw for you "You can't keep going on like this."

"I have his back when he needs it and he has mine... we don't need to speak to each other to achieve that."

"He's hurting too." Ellie pushed and you rolled your eyes at her "He is."

"Drop it, Ellie." You grumbled "Get some sleep. Early start ahead."

The teenager didn't push and you were glad of that. The two of you pulled out your blankets and settled down for the night, knowing Joel wouldn't allow either one of you to take the watch. Your eyes drifted to the man whose eyes scanned the darkened landscape, heart aching a little at the thought that he felt even a small semblance of pain to what had happened.

Little did you know, Joel was heartbroken. That day haunted his dreams and robbed him of his ability to sleep. Your tear-filled eyes and bloody hands were permanently seared into his memory, forever torturing him.

Joel fought to keep his tears at bay as he stripped away your soiled jeans. There was so much blood. He feared for your life if you lost much more. He knew that miscarriages could be dangerous when heavy bleeding was involved and this... this he felt fit those symptoms. Your skin was pale and your eyes looked sunken. Like you'd not slept in days and he supposed that to an extent, you probably hadn't.

"Is she losing the baby?" Ellie asked, her eyes wide as she watched the man throw the ruined garment away.

"Fetch me some water." He asked, knowing that the taps still worked in the abandoned motel.

"Joel-"

Just do as I ask Ellie." He snapped, voice wobbling a little as he looked at the teenager with an expression she found hard to read.

She didn't argue then. Rummaging through your pack, she grabbed one of the tins and ran to the bathroom, filling the vestibule with water before grabbing an old towel hanging beside the sink.

"Here." She said when she'd made her way back, handing the water and towel to Joel before sitting down on the bed beside you "You're okay." She said softly as she stroked the hair out of your face "Joel's gonna clean you up and then we'll move you to my bed so you can get some sleep."

"Ellie-" You choked but the girl just hushed you, cradling your head in her arms and pulling it to her chest.

Joel watched out of the corner of his eye whilst he worked to clean away the blood that painted your thighs. He was unable to stop his hands from shaking as he worked. His heart was breaking. Despite how he'd reacted when you'd told him the news, he had since come around to the idea that he was to have a baby with you.

He had started to picture what they would look like. He'd imagined another daughter. His curly brown hair and your eyes. He'd started to picture you, round with his child and how you'd glow. It was a picture that now had burned away. Disappearing in a puff of smoke. He knew you were never going to be the same after this.

And neither was he.

When he was done cleaning you up, he lifted you into his arms and carried you into the room Ellie had slept in that night. He was glad you'd fallen asleep or you would have seen the bodies of Henry and Sam still laying there.

Once you were settled in the bed, he went to work burying the boys. Needing some time away from the devastation inside. Ellie had gone in search of some clothes that might fit you. Your jean were beyond saving. He knew that eventually, he'd need to speak to you about what had happened but he would wait until you were ready.

However long that was.

"Here." Said Joel as he handed you a mug, coffee steaming within.

You nodded your thanks then returned to starting at the landscape beyond, bringing the mug to your lips so you could blow on its contents. Joel lingered a moment, looking at you longingly, praying that you would spare him at least one glance but you didn't. You just sipped your twenty-year-old coffee and paid him no heed.

You had barely spoken to him at all since leaving the motel two weeks ago. He didn't push you to speak to him. Your interactions with Ellie had remained the same but with him, they had ceased completely. He was in agony. The longer you froze him out, the more his heart cracked. He was sure that if this went on much longer it would shatter completely and he would surely bleed out.

You noticed him walk away from the corner of your eye and you breathed a sigh of relief at his retreat. You weren't sure what he wanted from you. He got what he wanted. The baby was gone. Did he expect you to want to talk about it? Join him in his relief? All you wanted to do now was achieve your mission so you could be rid of him. The reminder of what you lost.

"You gonna be pissed at him forever?" Ellie asked as she plonked herself next to you.

"Maybe." You replied curtly, eyes remaining fixed ahead.

"It's not his fault you know." She stated and this grabbed your attention "You losing the baby isn't his fault."

"That's not-"

"You can't blame him for what happened." Ellie pushed and you sighed "You'll need to talk to him eventually."

"I know." You grumbled, scrapping a hand over your face before sipping at the coffee Joel had made you "I will. I just... I need some time."

"Understandable." Ellie replied, giving you a warm smile "Just don't leave it too long."

It was later that night when Ellie had fallen asleep that you had decided to break your silence. Joel was perched on a fallen tree trunk, gun in hand as he scanned the woodland that surrounded you. You sat yourself down at the other end, not wanting to be too close to him, and then you spoke.

"I can take the watch tonight." You piped up, taking Joel by surprise "You could do with some sleep."

"It's fine, you go ahead." Joel replied, shaking his head at you "Don't sleep much these days anyway."

"Joel, you can't keep going on like this." You argued and this grabbed his attention "You have to let us help you."

"You know, that's might rich of you to say." Joel grumbled, turning his body to face you "Seein' as you don't seem to want to speak to me anymore."

"Joel-"

"I know you're hurtin' and I understand but-"

"Understand?" You spat, eyes growing wide in disbelief "How could you possibly understand this?"

"I lost a child once before... remember?" He said, his voice lowered in an attempt to keep this conversation out of Ellie's ears "I understand how much you're hurtin' but you have to let me in."

"You didn't even want it." You growled, eyes cold as you stared back at him "I bet you're relieved!"

"I'm not." He growled, his face hardening at your accusation "But we both know that it was probably for the best." He continued "What sort of life could we have offered them?"

"I would have loved them." You sobbed "Nurtured them. I would have given all I had to give them a good life but that opportunity was taken away from me."

Joel stared at you with wide eyes. His heart ached to tell you that he was just as heartbroken as you. That he had hoped, after delivering Ellie to the fireflies, you and he would find somewhere to settle to raise your baby together. Instead, he watched you as you cried, hand resting on where your child had once rested and he found himself unable to say anything. You scoffed at his lack of response, cementing your belief that he was relieved you had lost the baby.

Watching you walk away, sobbing, his heart broke all over again. He had lost you once and for all.

You admired the river that carved its path through the landscape on your right. The landscape was something you'd read about in the books that had survived the apocalypse.

"Look at that river. It's crazy blue." Said Ellie as she too admired the wilderness surrounding you all "Hey, Joel... what if this is the River of Death?"

This made you a Joel pause. The words of that couple echoed in your brain as you share a look with the older man.

"What's past the river?" Ellie had asked and she had replied

"Death."

Horses whinnying, made you jump from your skin and you grabbed your gun as Joel pushed Ellie back.

"Get behind me." Joel ordered, studying their mounted foes and coming to the conclusion that fighting them wasn't an option "We ain't lookin' for any trouble. We're just passin' through."

"Drop the guns." One of them ordered and both complied, raising your hands above your head once you had "You... take five steps back."

"How 'bout we just talk this through?" Joel said calmly, desperate to placate the situation.

"How 'bout you shut the fսck up?" The man spat and you flinched at his tone, heart thumping wildly in your chest.

"Okay, easy. You'll be okay."

"You been near Infected?" The man demanded and you scoffed.

"There's no Infected out here." You piped up and the group all looked at you.

"The hell there ain't." The man replied before whistling, a dog barking then it trotted into view "Last chance for a bullet. If you've been infected, he will smell it, and he will rip you up.

The dog sniffed at Joel's legs before moving on to you. The animal grunted when it was satisfied that neither of you was infected.

"Like I said... we'll just move on." Joel said as he looked from the dog to the man that owned it.

"Now her." He said, motioning at Ellie and Joel felt his heart start to race. Low growling echoed in his ears and yet he found himself glued to the spot. Unable to do anything but wait for what came next.

"Hi. Hi." She giggled, the dog licking her face and Joel turned to see the girl grinning at him.

The man whistled, pulling the dog back to his side and Joel felt his heart slow again. His eyes returned to the leader of the group.

"You just bought yourself 10 more seconds. What are you doin' out here?"

"I'm just lookin' for my brother. That's all, nothin' more." Joel replied, his expression almost pleading.

"Hо! What's your name?" Asked a woman, pulling down the fabric that covered her face.

"Joel."

"Get them on some horses."

"But-"

"Just do it." She ordered "They're coming with us."

You mounted the horse given to you, Ellie joining you on yours as Joel gets on his own. The three of you then followed the group for a short while. Not a word was shared between anyone until you reached a set of tall wooden gates, flanked on either side by a wall just as high.

The gates opened. Revealing a bustling town that looked like it had never been touched by the tragedy that had torn the world to shreds. It reminded you of where you'd grown up. Just on the border of Canada. The wooden buildings felt familiar to you and you felt safe for the first time in years. Children laughed around you. People sang Christmas carols as they gathered around a tree that stood proudly in the square.

"TOMMY!" Joel's shouting pulled your attention away from the town and you watched the man leap from his horse and sprint towards a man you recognised as Tommy.

He didn't appear to have aged since you'd seen him last, unlike Joel.

"What the fսck you doin' here?" He asked, pulling back from his embrace with his brother to look at him better.

"I came here to save you," Joel replied, the two brothers sharing a look before he pulled him into a hug again.

The sight stirred something you'd thought long dead.

Affection.

The three of you were then led to a canteen-like space where you were served a piping hot meal and the cleanest water you'd tasted in years. Then, after Joel scorned Ellie for her manners and you'd all learned that Tommy was now married to the woman who'd brought you to town. A woman who went by the name of Maria. She then proceeded to give you a tour of the town before Maria took Ellie to the house they'd allocated them and you and Joel went to the town bar to catch up.

You weren't sure why Tommy had insisted you come. You weren't family. You suspected he hoped it would soothe over the grilling he knew he was inevitably going to receive from Joel. You knew differently.

"Been a long time." Chuckled as he stroked the polished wooden bar.

"I've never been in a bar." You teased, surprised at how relaxed you now found yourself.

"Shut up." The brothers replied in unison, making you smirk at them.

"Doesn't seem like you aged much." Joel said as he returned his attention to his brother, watching as he poured you both a glass of amber liquid.

"You, on the other hand." Tommy said, winking at you before pushing the glasses towards you and Joel "Thanks for still givin' a shit about me." He toasted, smiling at Joel before sipping his drink.

Joel's mouth formed a pouty 'O' as he looked from the glass to his brother. A silent conversation passed between the two men.

"Workin' on raisin' some hogs, too. Once we get bacon, I mean, what's even left?"

"Pshoo." Joel laughed "Christmas trees and bacon? Pretty decent setup." Joel said as he stood and walked over to the fireplace across from the bar. Studying the pictures sat on the mantle.

"So, how's Tess?" Tommy asked as his gaze flitted between you and Joel.

"She's fine. All right." Joel replied, taking you by surprise so you opted to keep your mouth shut. The man knew what he was doing.

"Good then. And the kid?" Pushed and Joel once again answered before you had a chance to open your mouth.

"Oh, yeah. She’s the daughter of some Firefly muckety-muck... Try'na find her family somewhere out here. I was headin' in this direction, so..."

"Really? Goodness of your heart?" Tommy scoffed, his gaze drifting to you.

"There's a payment." You replied, watching as his eyes squinted at you. "So you know where they might be? These Fireflies?" You asked, taking a sip of your drink.

"Well, they got a base down at the University of Eastern Colorado. It's, uh, a week's ride south. But it is severely fսckеd up between here and there. Infected... raiders." Tommy stated, his gaze returning to his brother "It’s not exactly an easy trip."

"It’ll be easy for us, seeing as how you can headshot Infected from half a mile away, which is a bunch of bullshit, by the way." You chuckled at Joel's statement, remembering how good a shot Tommy had been back in the day.

"Yeah, I can’t go."

"Oh, come on." You chuckled, sure that Tommy was having you both on. "I made it across the country."

"The two of us can make it from here to Colorado." Joel pushed, brows pulled together as he studied his brother's boy language closely. "What, ’cause your wife won’t let you?"

"They’re good people." Tommy argued "They didn’t have to take me in, but they did. And all they ask is that I follow their rules."

"I’m your brother." Joel growled, unable to believe what he was hearing.

"Yeah, I’m aware." Tommy scoffed "They’re very protective of this place, and for good fuckin’ reason." The younger man continued, sipping his drink again "I mean, folks find out we’re up here…"

"No, we heard." Joel interrupted and Tommy sighed.

"Wrong people might show up."

"So is that what we are? Are we the wrong people?" He asked, motioning between you and him.

"Joel…"

"Those things I did, Tommy, those things that you judge me for, I did those things to keep us alive." Joel spat, edging closer to his sibling.

"We did those things." Tommy snarled "And they weren’t 'things.' We murdered people... And I don’t judge you for it." Tommy paused, letting out a sigh as he looked between you and Joel "We survived the only way we knew how. But there were other ways..." He trailed off "We just weren’t any good at ’em."

"If you knew the shit that we've been through... Tommy, tryin’ to find you these last few months…"

"I’m gonna be a father."

This news hit you like a freight train.

You saw Joel glance at you. Felt his eyes on you as you started down into your drink. Desperately trying to keep yourself together.

"Maria’s a few months along now." Tommy continued, smiling as he played with the glass in his hands "So I just gotta be more careful..." He paused, glancing at you and Joel "To be honest, I’m scared to death. But I don’t know. Uh… I feel like I’d be a good dad."

A pregnant pause hung over you all. Joel looked at you before returning his attention to his drink. Downing the last of it before speaking.

"Guess we’ll find out." He said as he poured himself a drink.

“I guess we’ll find out?" Tommy spat, angry at his brother's response "That’s all you got?"

"What else am I supposed to say?" The older man asked, looking at his brother who was now squared up to him.

"Just because life stopped for you… doesn’t mean it has to stop for me." Tommy snarled and you swear you could hear Joel's heart shatter.

With tearful eyes, he glanced at you before downing his drink and grabbing his coat.

"We’ll grab some supplies and be outta your hair in the mornin’."

You watched Joel leave. Tommy called after him before slamming his hand on the counter of the bar.

"We lost a baby." You said numbly, grabbing Tommy's attention.

"What?"

"Joel and I... We found out three months ago that I was pregnant." You replied, eyes locking with the man's as you continued "We lost it after escaping from Kansas City."

"Shit I'm-"

"I'm happy for you Tommy." You continued "But don't expect us to be jumping for joy."

You finished your drink and then grabbed your coat, wanting to be out of this place as soon as possible.

"I'm sorry you lost your baby." Tommy piped up, stopping you in your tracks "But life goes on. You can't live your life bitter because other people have what it is you want... It'll poison you."

You didn't reply. You simply left, your tears streaming by the time you stepped outside.

You managed to find the house Maria and Tommy had told you about. You'd decided to take a walk on your own for a few hours and before you'd realised, the sun had set and the town was now blanketed in the soft yellow light. Stepping inside you could hear talking coming from upstairs.

"I’m not her, you know?" Ellie said as you came to a stop outside her room "Maria told me about Sarah and…"

"Don’t." Joel warned, his voice low "Don’t say another word."

"I-I’m sorry about your daughter, Joel." Ellie pushed on, ignoring the man's warning "But I have lost people, too."

"You have no idea what loss is." Joel growled, his tone making you shiver.

"Everybody I have cared for has either died or left me." Ellie spat "Everybody, fucking except for you!" She yelled "So don’t tell me that I’d be safer with somebody else because the truth is I would just be more scared."

"You’re right." Joel piped up after a short pause "You’re not my daughter and I sure as hell ain’t your dad..." He paused a moment, and you wondered where he was going with this. Your question was soon answered.

"Now, come dawn… we’re goin’ our separate ways." You felt your blood boil.

You didn't even flinch when he opened the door to see you standing on the other side. The two of you then just glared at each other before you stormed off, leaving a frustrated Joel in your wake.

The words his brother had spoken to him less than an hour earlier after he'd pleaded for the man to take Ellie still swirled around in his head.

"I know you lost another child Joel... and for that Brother I am sorry but you can't keep shutting her out. I know you're grieving... Don't bottle it up."

Making his way downstairs, he placed himself down on the couch and threw his head into his hands. Memories of Sarah flashed in his mind. Of him decorating the tree with her. Making Christmas cookies to hand from its branches. Not that many made it onto the tree.

His mind then drifted to you. How he could have shared that with you one day. How he still wanted to. He knew he had to make things right with you.

He just wasn't sure how.

Next

Taglist form

I’m on my like 3rd rewatch of The Last of Us, and I just watched the Kansas City episodes.

During the big fight with all the infected running around, the way Joel anticipates every move of Ellie’s and covers her from the house… it’s the absolute hottest thing he does in the whole show.

It makes me tingle.

Look for the Light - 4

Masterlist

Summary: Four years ago, Joel saved you from certain death. In return, you followed him faithfully. Always ready to do and give him whatever he asked, despite the hurt it inflicted on you, body and soul. Agreeing to go with him to deliver Ellie to the Fireflies… this would be the last time you’d follow him… After this, your debt would be paid.

Relationships: Reader x Joel Miller, Joel Miller & Ellie, Reader & Ellie

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose to give none. Read at your own risk. 18+ (So excited to share this with you. So much to come folks! 🙊😍)

Series Masterlist - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Joel stared at you for some time. His mouth opened and closed as he processed what you'd just told him.

"Joel?"

"Where did you find a pregnancy test?" He asked and you rolled your eyes.

"Does it really matter where I found them?" You asked and he shook his head.

"How did this happen?" He asked and you shook your head.

"Pulling out isn't exactly 100 per cent effective but I guess we've not been that careful."

"What do you mean?" He asked you you sighed before answering.

"I don't think that night... the night we got pissed on whiskey... I um..."

"You what?"

"I don't think you pulled out." You finished and he groaned.

"Shit." He breathed as he leaned back against the tree behind him.

"I know this is not ideal but-"

"Ideal?" Joel blanched "This is a fuckin' nightmare."

You shrunk back at his statement, hand resting on your belly as you waited for him to say something.

"Those tests must be nearly twenty years out of date." He continued "What if it's a false positive?"

"Unlikely. Besides, they're both positive." You stated as you pulled the second test from your pocket.

"Shit." Joel gasped as he looked at the stick of plastic in your hand "This can't be happening." He said, shaking his head and you felt years prick at your eyes "There'll be a doctor somewhere that can fix this!"

"What do you mean, fix it?" You growled and he looked up at you with teary eyes.

"Terminate it." He answered as he reached out to put his hand on top of yours but you shrank back "Wha...." His eyes widened at your reaction and his stomach twisted "You're not seriously thinking we should keep it?"

"We... don't have to do anything!" You scoffed "I want to!... If you don't want to do this with me then that's fine. I'll find somewhere safe to raise them on my own."

"Come on, you can't be serious darlin'? This world is no place for a baby!"

"And it never will be." You growled "Yet life has to go on." You finished before snatching the tests back and stuffing them into your pocket "Good to know how you feel about all this." You grumbled as you stood and quietly made your way back to your sleeping bag.

That was that then!... you were in this alone.

Joel didn't move from his seat on the forest floor. His eyes were glued to you as he watched your shoulders silently shake... knowing you were sobbing to yourself about his reaction to the news you were carrying his child.

Truth be told, he'd never imagined he would have the chance to be a father again after he'd lost Sarah. His wife had died just a few years after she was born and then, on that fateful day, his world had ground to a halt. Not for one second in the twenty years that followed had he allowed himself to hope that perhaps one day, he might get the chance to be a dad again.

Now he was going to be and he wasn't sure he wanted to be.

Morning came and you and Joel spoke all but one word to each other.

"Coffee?"

"Sure."

Ellie watched the two of you with what looked like an exasperated expression but you dared not push her for why. You didn't want to think about anything more than getting back on the road and finding somewhere to settle.

"This seriously how shit's going to be between you two?" She finally piped up when the tension became too much to handle.

Joel was finishing packing the truck whilst you washed the tins clean of the breakfast the three of you had finished consuming.

"What?" You grumbled as you proceeded to stack the tins and stuff them in the pack you'd originally pulled them from, eye not leaving the task at hand.

"Well, I'd hoped after being woken up to you two boning behind that tree over there that you'd at least worked your shit out." She grumbled and both you and Joel stopped dead in your tracks "What happened? He blow his load too quickly?" She chuckled and you felt your face burn with embarrassment.

"Ellie." Joel warned but the teenager ignored him "Clearly, the news that you two are having a baby together really got your motor running huh?"

"She knew?" Joel expelled and that's what pulled your gaze back to your two companions.

"Joel-"

"Ohhhh..." Ellie trailed off, her eyes widening as the realisation hit her "You weren't fucking cus of the baby news."

"Ellie!" Joel snapped but your head was swimming, eyes filling with tears as you looked down and noted the tests were still stuffed in your pocket.

"We had differing opinions on the baby." You piped up, finally rendering the child speechless "So the next town or QZ that we find is where we'll be parting ways." You stated, turning your attention to the teenager.

"No!" She choked, shaking her head and you gave her a weak smile.

"It's for the best!" You stated plainly "Joel will get you to where you need to be." You finished as you slung your pack over your shoulder and walked to the truck, climbing into the back without a word.

Ellie and Joel watched you as you climbed into the car and slammed the door shut behind you. Then the teenager's eyes were burning into the older man as she glared at him.

"The fuck you say to her?" She growled and Joel scoffed at her before tossing the last of their supplies into the truck bed "Joel?"

"None of your business." He grumbled and that set the girl off, her eyes burning as she stomped up to him.

"Like fuck it isn't!" She snapped "What did you do? Accuse her of fucking someone else? Tell her to get sell it?... Was obviously bad because-"

"I told her we need to terminate it." He barked and Ellie stared at him slackjawed "I told her we should get rid of it." He sighed as he scraped a hand over his tired features "It's for the best."

"For who?" Ellie scoffed "Her?... Or you?"

She didn't wait for the man to reply. Just jumped into the front seat and sat in the car with you. Waiting for him to get them back on the road and en route. He glanced up and caught you smiling at Ellie, your eyes sparkling as you laughed at no doubt a joke from that damned pun book the kid was carrying around with her. His heart ached at the knowledge that he'd hurt you. He never wanted to do that but he honestly couldn't see how keeping this baby would end any way other than badly. He also knew that changing your mind was futile.

He was gonna be a father again... If you let him.

Ellie pushed the door to an abandoned office open as you and Joel stepped in behind her. The events of that day had caught up with both of you. Ellie had had to shoot a kid to save Joel and you had been able to do nothing but watch through the small hole in the wall that Joel had made you both climb through. You'd felt so helpless, watching his legs kick as the kid strangled him within an inch of his life, that you hadn't even noticed Ellie pull out a gun she'd stolen from Bill's and slip through the larger hole in the wall. The three of you had then hidden out in an old bar and waited for a chance to slip into the shadows and avoid the search party that was currently occupying the streets.

So when you had all managed to make it to the building you were now taking refuge in, you'd breathed a small sigh of relief, your hand resting on your stomach as you caught your breath.

"Holy shit." Ellie breathed as her eyes scanned the dark room you all now occupied.

"Yeah." Joel panted as he slip down the wall, his age getting the better of him.

"Thirty-three floors. That's good." Ellie enthused and you chuckled at her condescending tone.

"It's gonna have to be." Joel grumbled as he squeezed his eyes shut and willed his heart to slow.

"Come on." Ellie called out as she motioned for him to get up but Joel simply shook his head.

"Gimme a minute."

"Get up, you lazy ass." Ellie chuckled and Joel grunted in reply.

"Lazy ass." He scoffed as he allowed the teenager to help him to his feet

"Fifty-six years old, you little shit."

You smirked at his statement before turning and walking further into the room, eyes scanning for anything that could be turned into a bed for the night. Nausea had taken up permanent residence and you noted what looked like a small cloakroom. You slipped off silently, hoping no one would notice before emptying little contents of your stomach into the toilet bowl.

Ellie had, however, noticed you disappear and her gaze drifted to Joel before shrugging off her bag and placing it onto the stained, twenty-year-old, carpet.

"She's not going to be safe here." She stated simply and Joel nodded.

"I know." He replied simply, his eyes looking off in the direction he knew you were.

"We can't let her go." Ellie pushed "She's safer with us."

"What about when the baby comes?' Joel grumbled, "What... you gonna help babysit?"

"We'll have found the fireflies long before then." Ellie scoffed but Joel shook his head.

"You don't know that for sure."

"Joel-"

"We don't have a truck." He continued "We can't expect her to keep walking when she's heavily pregnant with my kid."

"So you admit that it's your kid?" Ellie needled and Joel sighed.

"We need to find somewhere safe for her and then continue on." He finished, ignoring the teen's question.

"Then what?" Ellie grumbled "She raises that baby on her own?"

"I don't know Ellie." Joel barked and the girl's mouth snapped shut "I don't know what to do okay?" He choked and Ellie's expression softened "I love her and I wanna do right by her but I don't know if I can do it again." He confessed, his voice wobbling "I don't know if I want to."

Ellie's brow furrowed at his statement but didn't push him for more. She knew the man wasn't one for sharing his past and just the fact he'd admitted to her that he loved you, was enough for her.

Your heart thundered in your chest as his confession swirled around in yours. On the one hand. He has confessed to sharing the same feelings you felt for him. On the other, he admitted that he wasn't sure he wanted this baby. You were filled with conflicted feelings and you weren't sure what to do. When you were sure that they wouldn't be suspicious of you eavesdropping on their conversation, you made your way back out into the room, noting the makeshift cots that Ellie had started to put together. She gave you a smile when she noticed you enter and you returned it before glancing at Joel, finding your heart twisting in your chest as you allowed what he'd said to consume your every thought.

"JOEL!"

The older man rolled over and froze when he saw a child pointing a gun at him. Hands raised, he looked to his right and saw you and Ellie standing with your hands behind your head whilst a nervous-looking kid pointed his gun at you both.

"Eyes on me. Eyes on me." The kid ordered and Joel complied, his expression a difficult one to pinpoint as you studied him "You don't have to worry about what to say. We don't wanna hurt you. We wanna help you." He rambled as his hun switched between you and Ellie "Okay. Okay, um... I don't know what the next step is with something like this, but if I lower my gun... we didn't hurt you... so you don't hurt us... right?"

"That's right." Joel replied and you wanted to groan at the manner in which he spoke.

"That's a weird fսck¡n' tone, man." The kid replied nervously and Ellie's eyes widened.

"That's just the way he sounds. He has an asshоlе voice." Ellie snapped as she looked directly at the older man "Joel, tell him he's okay."

"Everything is great."

"Dude." Ellie grumbled and you shot him a warning look.

"Fսck!"

The kid was growing more and more nervous, the longer he and the child with him had their weapons trained on the three of you. It was clear that he was new at this and that helped you feel a little less worried about this situation. You truly believed they didn't want to hurt you.

"Okay... listen... I'm gonna trust you." He said as he lowered his weapon "Yes. But if any of you guys try anything... yeah? Yeah?"

"Yeah." You replied, nodding your head as you glared at Joel again.

"Can I sit up?" Joel asked as he looked over at the kid again

"Yeah. Slow. Get up slow."

"Who are you?" Joel asked as his eyes drifted from the Kid, back to the older one.

"My name's Henry. That's my brother, Sam." You looked at the child before sharing a silent stare with Joel.

Your eyes pleading for him to not do anything stupid.

"I'm the most wanted man in Kansas City. Although right now... my guess is you're running a close second." This grabbed Joel's attention and his back straightened as he leaned forward a little more "Why do they want you?"

"Long story." Henry replied "You got any food? My brother's hungry."

"Yeah." You replied softly, hoping to relax the situation a little more. "We got some food."

Henry's face seemed to light up at his and he watched as you make your way over to your pack, pulling out some rations you'd portioned up for the morning and splitting it into five small shares. It wasn't much but it was something.

You then all sat and ate in tense silence, Joel's eyes never leaving Henry.

"Where'd you get these?" Henry asked, breaking the silence.

"From Bill." Ellie answered, "He's dead."

Your head shot up when you saw Joel move from the corner of your eye, your heart softening when you saw him give the little boy the last of his meal. Despite his hard, gruff, exterior, the man could be soft when he wanted to be. The boy signed his thanks and you smiled warmly.

"He says thank you." Henry said, noting that your companions likely wouldn't know ASL "I'm guessing you don't have much, so... this means a lot."

"How old is he?" Ellie asked as she grinned at the younger boy, watching closely when Henry signed her question "He's eight."

"Cool." The child gushed, bouncing with excitement at being around another kid "I'm Ellie." She finished before looking over at you, smiling when you gave the brothers your name also.

You both stared at Joel, eyes wide and expectant and the man rolled his eyes before growling.

"I'm Joel. Look, you ate, we didn't kill each other, let's call this a win-win and move on."

You smirked at your companion's response before looking at the older brother again.

"Well, I'm betting... that y'all came up here to get a view of the city and plan a way out. And when the sun's up... I'll show you one."

"You can do that?" You asked and Henry nodded.

"Sure can."

"You can get us out of this city safely?" You pushed, your hand resting on your tummy again.

"She's pregnant-" Ellie piped up and your eyes flew open.

"Ellie-"

"She needs to get out of this shit show city as soon as possible!"

"Congratulations." Henry started and you gave him a small nod "I will do my best to help you get out of the city safely." He continued "But I'll need your help.

You and Joel stood at the window and looked out at what had once been a bustling city.

"Welcome to Killa City."

"No FEDRA?" Joel asked and Henry shook his head.

"Not as of 10 days ago, no."

"We always heard KC FEDRA was... Monsters? Savages?" You piped up, pulling Joel's gaze to you for a moment.

"Yeah, you heard right. Raped and tortured and murdered people for 20 years. And you know what happens when you do that to people?" You both stood and waited for him to continue, your stomach twisting in knots at the information you were learning "The moment they get a chance, they do it right back to you."

"But you're not FEDRA?" Joel pushed.

"No... worse." Henry signed and you both gave him a bemused look, waiting for him to elaborate "I'm a collaborator."

"I don't work with rats." Joel spat, glancing at you a moment.

"Yeah, you fucking do." The older brother all but ordered "Today you do... 'cause I live here and you don't." He stated plainly, rendering you both speechless "That's how I followed you here. I know this city, and that's how I'm gonna help you get out."

"Why help us?" You asked.

"I saw what you did... the way you killed those men." He paused, studying Joel's face a moment before continuing "Now, I know where to go but I don't know how to make it through alive, not if it's just me and Sam."

"You seem capable enough." Joel scoffed "You're armed."

"You're wrong and wrong." Henry argued "Never killed anyone. And pointing an unloaded gun at you was the closest I've ever

come to being violent." He confessed, eyes drifting to you "So that's the deal. I show the way... you clear the way."

The sound of laughing dragged your attention over to the table where Sam and Ellie saw, looking through the girl's joke book and completely unaware of what the three of you were speaking about.

"Haven't heard that in a long time," Henry said wistfully, as he looked over his shoulder at his brother.

"So how are we gettin' out?" You asked.

Henry started to draw out a small map and you watched as he marked out certain areas before explaining.

"Highways... Downtown. Us." He circled the area where your building sat "This whole area belongs to Kathleen."

"She's in charge?" Joel asked and Henry nodded.

"Leader of the resistance." He confirmed before looking down at his rough map again "You can see the way we're bounded by highways!" He continued as he pointed at each one "They got people posted all

around the inside perimeter. If we get close, we get caught... No question."

"So how do we get across?" You asked and he glanced at you a moment before drawing a tunnel.

"Boom."

"Kansas City has a subway?" Joel asked, brows pulled together and forming a tight frown.

"No, but they do have maintenance tunnels." Henry clarified "There's a bunch of buildings all put up by the same developers. And they share these tunnels, including... a bank building here." He said as he drew where the building sat "So we enter the tunnels here... travel underground, and pop up here." He circled the area again before looking up at you and Joel "Westside North. Residential. There's an embankment on

the other side of the houses... We head down, pedestrian bridge over the river... free as a bird."

"You're right. It's a great plan." Joel replied sarcastically "So what do you need me for?"

"You noticed anything strange about this city?" Henry asked, eyes flitting between you and Joel "I mean, other than the strange shit you've already seen?"

"No Infected?" Ellie piped up and you look to your right, noting how she and Sam had now joined you.

"Oh, there's Infected." Henry replied "Just not on the surface." He paused to let you both take that in "FEDRA drove them underground 15 years ago, and never let them come back up. It's the only good thing those fascist motherfuckers ever did."

"So you want us goin' into a tunnel?" Joel snorts and glanced at him a moment, heart racing as you wait for Henry to answer.

"Everyone thinks that it's full of Infected, including Kathleen, which means that we're not gonna be running into any of her people.

"But you see, what I know is... it's empty."

"You've been down there?" You asked, heart, thumping against your ribcage.

"No, but the FEDRA guy that I worked with told me that it's clean, completely clean... They cleared it out. All of it."

"When?"

"Like... three years ago."

Joel scoffed.

"Okay, maybe, there's one or two, but you handle it." Henry urged, eyes pleading with you.

"What if there's more?" Joel asked.

"Or one of those blind ones that sees like a bat?" Ellie added.

"Wait, you... you ran into a Clicker?"

"Two of 'em," Ellie answered.

"And you're still alive." Henry pointed out "You see? You're the right people... If it gets bad down there, we turn around, and run right back out the same way we came."

"Oh, that's your great plan?"

"No, that's my dicey-as-fuck plan." Henry growled "But as far as I can tell... it's our only shot."

Sam asked something, just out of your line of sight and you watched as the older brother answered his concerned sibling.

"They're saying they're going to help us escape." he signed back, giving his brother a firm nod "Right?"

Joel let out a sigh before glancing at you, silently willing you to give him some sort of guidance. Despite how tense things were between you both right now, he still looked at you to help him keep his footing. He relied on you to steer him straight at this was no exception.

"Right." You replied surely as you gave Joel a small nod before looking at Henry "We'll help you get out."

"Do you know where we are?" You asked Henry as your eyes scanned the area, gun firmly in hand.

"Yep." Henry replied, a grin painting his features "The other side."

"No. No one is here." Ellie pointed out pulling a face when you tried to hush her.

"No one's gonna be here because... my plan worked." Henry boasted, grinning at the teenager.

"So much goddamn talkin'." Joel grumbled and you smirked at his statement before returning to surveying your surroundings.

"I'm just saying... I delivered." Henry stated, "Make this right, go down the street, embankment behind the last house... and we're out."

"So we cross the river and then what?" You asked, "Where ya gonna go?"

"Don't know yet." The younger man replied, shrugging as he glanced at his brother.

"Well, we're goin' to Wyoming." Ellie announced, pulling a face when Joel glared back at her "What? It's a huge state. It can fit two more people."

"Yeah... maybe we just call this one a success and say our fond farewells." Henry chuckled.

"No, he'll change his mind. Trust me." Ellie upheld "This is how it goes... He's like, 'No, Ellie. Never, ever, ever happening.'..." The girl started, lowering her tone in an attempt to mimic Joel "And then I'm like, 'I'm gonna ask you a million more times...And he's like-"

Ellie didn't get to finish. Bullets started to ping off the car beside them.

"Move, move!" Joel ordered "Go!" He barked, the five of you ducking for cover.

"The fuck is that comin' from?"

"Shut up." The older man yelled. "- Fuck."

"Let's move. Let's go." Henry shouted as he nudged his brother to move.

"What are you doin'?!" You almost screamed, watching in horror as the two young boys attempted to escape.

"Gettin' the fuck outta here!" Henry replied before throwing himself back when bullets reigned down on him "Oh shit, oh shit!"

"What do we do?" Ellie asked as she turned to look at Joel, eyes shining with fear.

"All right." Joel stated, as he noted the house the shots were coming from "Stay here."

"What?" Ellie squeaked.

"If you don't move, he's not gonna hit you." The older man stated, "I'm gonna go around, try to get in the house through the back, and then I'll take him out."

"But if you go out there, he's gonna kill you." She choked, holding onto Joel for dear life.

"It's dark, and he has shit aim." Joel replied, trying to lighten her mood a little "Nobody's gonna kill me."

"Then he's gonna kill us." She argued.

"Do you trust me?" He asked and Ellie nodded "Take care of them all! He ordered, giving the girl a small smile "That includes my baby!"

Your eyes widened at his statement, something Joel spotted when he glanced at you a moment before sneaking off. You both shared a workless conversation before he went off to take out their attacker. The look said, "We will get through this."

And you believed him.

So you watched as he snuck off and you all remained where you were, waiting for it to be safe to move. Ellie huddled close to you, hand gripping yours tightly as you gave her a reassuring smile.

"We're going to be okay." You whispered to her and she nodded.

"Us and the baby yeah?" She asked and your heart swelled at the mention of the tiny being inside of you.

"Us and the baby."

A gunshot echoed in the air and you all looked up, hoping that it was Joel taking out the target and not the other way around. Ellie looked at your frantically, eyes wide and wet and then you heard shouting.

Shouting that sounded a lot like RUN

Headlights illuminated the abandoned street and large vehicles stormed through the abandoned cars that littered their path.

RUN

You did as Joel told you, running for your life and you and Ellie fired upon the vehicles as they came surging towards you. Joel fired upon the vehicles as you all continued to sprint and took out the driver of the lead vehicle, it veered into one of the ramshackle houses before exploding. The blast throwing you and Ellie to the ground.

Henry was at your side, helping you and Ellie back to your feet again.

"You okay?" He asked and you both nodded.

"Yeah."

"He's up there," Henry stated as he pointed to the window where Joel was situated and you gave him a small nod before sprinting for cover beside another truck.

The flames from the burning house at your rear threw off a heat that reached you all from across the street. The clicking sounds the fire made mingled with your heavy breathing and you all prayed that Joel would be able to give you enough cover to run for safety when the time came.

"Dead end, Henry." Came a soft voice... the voice you assumed belonged to Kathleen "Gonna step on out? Save us some time?"

You all looked at each other, wondering what to do and coming up empty.

"No?" She continued, her tone high and whiny.

Not the voice you'd expect from someone so terrifying.

"That's all right. Doesn't matter."

"I'll come out!" Henry called out, shaking his head when you pleaded for him not to go "Just let the kids go!"

"No." She replied "Sorry... The girl is with the man who killed Bryan. And Sam... well, Sam's with you."

"You don't understand!"

"But I do." She interjected, taking on a mocking manner "I know why you did what you did... But did you ever stop to think that maybe he was supposed to die?"

"He's just a fucking kid!" Henry yelled, his anger rising to the surface.

"Well, kids die, Henry." She replied, the statement making your stomach twist "They die all the time... You think the whole world revolves around him?" She scoffed "That he's worth... everything?"

Henry looked at you and then Ellie, silently communicating that he was okay with whatever happened next.

"Well, this is what happens when you fuck with fate." Kathleen finished, her voice wobbling a little.

"Get ready to take him and run." Henry stated as he put Sam's hand in Ellies "Yes." He urged when she shook her head. "Do it."

"It's time, Henry." She called and then the man stood, hands above his head

"Enough!" He called out, stepping out into her line of site.

Your eyes drifted up to Joel who was watching you from above. Your body ached from the fall and your heart thundered in your chest. You weren't sure you were going to make it out of this one but you were going to do all you could to try.

For Ellie... And for the baby in your belly.

"It ends the way it ends."

Groaning cut Kathleen off and you all turned your heads to look over at the crashed truck, watching as it sunk into the ground. Then...

Chaos.

The next however many minutes of your life became a fight to survive. You managed to take cover beneath a car, your eyes locking with Henry and Sam who had done something similar. You fired upon any infected that tried to come near you but some were taken out by an invisible force yet you knew who it was... Joel.

As soon as an opening showed itself to you, you were running towards Joel who was standing just outside the house he'd been shooting from, grabbing Ellie's hand as Joel urged you to run.

"Come on, come on!" He ordered, nudging you in the direction of the bridge just visible in the distance "Go, go!"

"Stop!" Kathleen's voice had you all stopping dead in your tracks, turning slowly towards her with your hands raised.

Then, your eyes all widened collectively as you noticed the infected child creeping up on her and she turned just in time to see her doom before it pounced on her. Screaming as it slashed her to ribbons.

"This way now! Move!" Joel ordered as he motioned for you all to run, his eyes locking with yours a moment before you all run for your lives.

Leaving the burning and blood chaos behind you.

The adrenaline was starting to wear off by the time you found an empty motel to squat in for the night. Ellie and Sam were given the twin bedroom and you the master. Joel and Henry opted to make themselves comfortable in the lounge area of the suite.

You could hear Joel and Henry talking between themselves, Joel's voice sounding wearing as the adrenaline from the evening's events wore off. You were glad of the chance to have some time to yourself, your own body sore and bruised. Your back ached and you rubbed as you eased yourself down onto the bed. Hoping a good night's sleep would help.

You were asleep in minutes.

...

You weren't sure if you'd been woken by the screaming, or the pain, but both of them had made you almost fall from your bed. Your hands shook as you looked down, the sight making you let out a sound that you'd never heard leave your mouth.

"Henry, no!" Joel's voice travelled through the thin door and then...

BANG

...

Joel stood in shock, eyes staring at the lifeless bodies of two boys much too young to have met such fates. Ellie's eyes were trained on Sam, the blood that was pooling beneath his head.

She'd failed him.

She had promised to stay awake with him and she hadn't...

As the gravity of the situation started to settle, Joel looked over to Ellie again, eyes glittering with tears as the tried to inspect the child for any signs of injury.

"Ellie?" He whispered, almost pleading for the girl to look at him and she did, tears falling freely down her cheeks.

Joel didn't hear the door open behind him... He was too focused on Ellie. But when the teenager's eyes flicked to something behind him and widened, he allowed himself to shift his focus.

"Joel." You choked and he turned to look at you, stomach dropping at what greeted him "Something's wrong." You finished as you held out your bloody hand "Something's very wrong."

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