𝔞𝔭𝔥𝔯𝔬𝔡𝔦𝔱𝔢

20.09.24

Today was really good. My friend from the UK arrived in Malaysia yesterday, so we met to go to the gym together. We mainly just had a look at the equipment, and got an idea of how the gym booking system worked. We then ate together and tried Nasi lemak- I found it too spicy so I manly ate the rice that didn't have the sauce on.

Then, we had a lecture for International students, it was a lot of visa explanations, and we found out that if we overstay our visas, we could get whipped, which was sort of terrifying. Then, we got a bus to the local mall. I finally got a Malaysian SIM card, it took forever to do, but at least it's done now. I also got chicken and fried rice. It was really delicious. I'm really glad my friend made me try it.

Love always,

~June xx

“Don’t lie, because the same people who believe your lies are also the ones who believe in you.”

— Unknown

23.05.24

[Exams 2/4]

My stats test is today, I'm nervous. I haven't left my dorm in days. I have either been revising or sleeping, I'm not feeling great mentally or physically. Talking to my boyfirend helps, but we're mid/long distance and I really am missing him, this is the longest we've been apart since we got together. I should get used to being away from him. If I get onto this study abroad scheme, I won't see him for alost a whole year (I'll go back once for Christmas). Not seeing him is definitley not helping my mood. Luckily, he's super supportive, ang is sending my lots of encouraging messages. He believes in me more than I believe in myself. If he thinks I can do it, I must be able to, I haven't seen him be wrong yet.

My sister is giving birth today, its definitely a distraction. I am going to struggle in the test if I don't hear back from her before I go in. Re-taking these tests means I won't qualify for my study abroad. I know I've done the best I can with revision and studying, and its going to be a big blow to me if my 100% best still isn't enough. Exam anxiety doesn't help either- if I get 100% on a mock, I can expect at least a 10% reduction on the actual exam, which means when I'm hardly passing mocks, I am not confident for the real thing. I have done everything I can, I need to trust that my best is enough.

The baby is born- its healthy and cute. My exam is in an hour, I don't know what to think about it.

Exam is done! I don't think it went too bad but I can't be sure- we'll see.

(No pics I've hardly left my dorm)

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

— Carl Gustav Jung

Last Day in England

09.09.24

I woke up in the arms of my partner- after one of the best night sleeps I've had in a long time. It was a good weekend, a final goodbye to my boyfriend before I leave for my studies. I will come back at Christmas, but right now, that feels like lightyears away. I'll try not to count down every second that we're apart.

After breakfast, I dropped him off at the bus station to make his way home- I couldn't even bear to hug him. I was afraid that if I was able to hold him for one last time, I wouldn't have the willpower to let go.

I spent the rest of the day packing and sorting documents for my flights tomorrow. It will be a long day of travel (two 7+ hr flights) and I'm hoping that everything goes as smoothly as possible.

I had a 'final' meal with my dad- a gammon dinner (English classic); and overall, I'm feeling hopeful about my new year. I'm trying to focus on what the year away will add to my life, and not so much what it will take away. My heart will ache for my boyfriend, my dad, and my dog- but I am opening so many opportunities for myself that wouldn't exist otherwise.

Success takes sacrifice, and I'm grateful to have so much to miss.

I'll finish the rest of my packing, and attempt to have an early night's sleep.

~June xx

(📷: Pinterest)

Idek tbh

14.05.24

Today is a full study day- exams are drawing near and the pressure is definitely getting to me. Spring semester is so much harder. I have no idea how I'm meant to get so much content memorised by the exams.

On top of this, I have my lab report- no matter how much I work on it, I'm not making any progress, I don't know what to do.

Deep breaths

I had a very late start to the day- I forgot to eat yesterday and people were in my kitchen all morning. I didn't want to leave for the library before eating. Very dramatic I know. I think I was just finding any excuse for more time in bed. I'm in the library now, planning on getting alot done. I brought my coat even though it's May, it's spotting outside but my big coat is too much. I'll need a smaller/lighter one for Malaysia. I can't study too long because I have an event tomorrow.

I spent a long time resting- I need to learn to not push myself too hard. I feel like I'm making no progress with revision and really don't want to fail.

I hate it when people are like “get out of your comfort zone” literally every single thing I do in my life feels like me getting out of my comfort zone

13.06.24

Long time no see! I had to give the uni laptop back and don't currently have one (that works) and I usually don't use tumblr on my phone so this is strange.

My exams are done now, I've tried to decompress from them. I spent some time with my boyfriend which always makes me feel good (he's literally the best).

Today I packed up my first-year dorm and took it home. Maybe it would be more emotional if it weren't so chaotic. Getting everything in the car was... a struggle. I now have to somehow find space in my room for it all. I can also use the shed for storage which is helpful.

(No pics 📸)

24.05.24

[Exams 2/4]

I have an exam tomorrow, at 10am. I need to go over and learn the enitre syllabus inbetween then and now.

I have been cramming all day.

(No pictures)