I’m Not Good At This Whole RP Thing So It’s Finna Be A Fan Account Instead Lol

I’m not good at this whole RP thing so it’s finna be a fan account instead lol

Forgive Me

“Mother? Is that you?” Alexander says, his throat constricting as heavy tears begin to form in his eyes.

Her dress sways in the wind, its yellow color a bit faded yet no less beautiful. Was this it? Has she returned?

She looks just like he remembered, the same light brown hair, the same comforting eyes, the same dress that always seemed ill fit in her later years and the same warm smile.

He feels moisture on his cheeks but he can’t find the will to wipe them away. Alexander runs, happiness bubbling up in his chest as his mother stands there, still smiling.

The embrace would have toppled any man, though Rachel takes the blow gracefully, patting Alexanders back softly, pressing a soft kiss to his hair. Alexander chokes, a loud sob being muffled by her dress. He tries to hold back, determined not to make his mothers first impression of him after so long to be this sniveling pathetic man, but he can’t. He let’s go, admitting to himself that he will always be his mothers child, even if he a grown man.

“Mama you’re here,“ he sobs, gripping the fabric of her dress tightly, as if were he to let go the illusion would end, and she would disappear once more, “I mi-“

She holds up a finger, silencing his babbling. She takes a step back and points to down to something, wanting him to see.

In her arms is a bundle of white tulips, tied together with black sheer ribbon. Alexander looks at her in confusion, tear tracks marking his cheeks.

Plucking one from the bunch, she pushes the flower into Alexanders limp hands, working his fingers to grip the flower in his fists. He holds up the flower, giving it a sniff. The smell is bittersweet, oddly not what he expected.

He lets the tulip go, letting the soft grass cushion the delicate flower. Turning to his mother once again, he smiles and takes a step forward.

Rachel takes a step back.

His eyebrows furrow and Rachel gives him a sad smile. She turns, walking in the opposite direction.

After a few moments of disbelief, he gains his bearings and chases after her as fast as he can, “Wait! Mama!”

With every stride he takes she seems to take ten more and gets farther and farther away; causing Alex to push himself harder, although his muscles burn from the effort.

Her yellow dress slowly fades from his field of view, leaving him alone in the swaying grass.

Abandoned once more.

He drops to his knees and stares blankly at the sky, suddenly hating how bright it be. It reminds him of when he had followed his mother to the market once, whining about his brother being able to go but not him. Back then he didint know the reason for why he couldn’t go, though now, after having a child of his own he knows exactly why. Fear.

Because even women like his mother, strong and resilient as she was, had but one weakness. Her children.

After being on his best behavior for a few days and just a bit of pleading, she reluctantly let him go with her, though she had one rule; “Stay by my side at all times,“

He had been so excited, looking to all the vendors in awe, gazing at the merchandise that he knew they couldn’t afford with restrained longing. Because he knew his mother was watching, and he knew a little bit of her died inside every time it felt as though she couldn’t provide. So Alexander tore his gaze away, even if he wanted nothing more than to only observe.

Something had caught his eye, a book, it’s leather binding so enticing for a young boy like him, starved for knowledge.

It had been a moment that he looked away, he swore it was. Yet when he turned around, his mother was gone, swallowed by the circling crowd.

He looked to the right, then to the left, but he couldn’t see her. All the shades of brown were too dark, too light, too not his mother.

Panic began to set in, the same panic he felt when his father had gone for a trip that lasted for longer than he said it would. The same panic he felt when his mother broke it to him that he would not be coming back. Mama wouldn’t leave him, would she?

…..

But Papa did.

He began running through the streets, ignoring the disgusted grunts of people he bumped into as he ran. His legs burned, the hot sun beating in his back felt too strong and the sweat on his back felt so disgusting he wanted to vomit. Where are you? Where are you?

He tripped on a stone, tumbling to the ground face first. Alexander cried out, yelping at the impact.

Laying there, covered in dirt Alexander felt an emotion he hadn’t felt before. Defeat.

Tears began to slip down his cheeks and he curled into a ball, making himself as small as possible.

Alexander had never felt more alone.

He feels that sense of defeat now, once again that sniveling, malnourished and unwanted child. What now?

A few tears drip onto the grass, feeding the ground with his sorrow. Mama left him.

Just like Papa.

Alexander holds his face in his hands, surveying the plain blankly. A gentle gust of wind tousles his hair, cooling him. At the very least he is not at that marketplace.

Thump

Alexander turns his head into the direction of the sound, wondering what could have disrupted this place in its tranquility. His eyes widen at the sight of a white tulip innocently sitting amongst the grass.

He picks it up, surveying the worse for wear petals. Giving it a whiff, it smells less bitter this time, almost reminiscent of perfume. Perfume that his mothe-

Oh.

He almost missed that part.

As he was sitting in the dirt, planning his life as an orphan he felt a nudge on his shoulder; gentle, yet panicked at the same time.

He looked up, seeing the light brown hair, and soft smile and faded yellow dress.

”Mama-?”

”You scared me half to death!” Rachel exclaimed, tugging him close to her chest, “I turn away for one second and you disappear in an instant!”

After a moment of shock, Alexander tears up, his face wrinkling as he begins to cry in relief, “I’m sorry, Mama.”

Rachels eyes widen, and she sets her basket aside, patting his head lovingly, holding him close, ”Shhh…I know, I know. It’s going to be alright…”

Alexander smiles, feeling a warm embrace from behind him. He was so foolish, Mama would never leave him. She wasn’t like Papa.

He turns around, expecting his mothers face. But his face falls.

It is not his mothers face that he sees, not the light brown hair or warm smile or slightly yellowed dress, but instead blond hair, nightclothes and remorseful blue eyes.

The room is dark, no longer the plains he was in before. Mama?

“Alexander, I am sorry my love, she’s gone,“ John says, wrapping his arms around him protectively, “She’s never coming back, no matter how much you wish her to,”

”No but…Mama would never leave,“ Alexander mutters under his breath, confused at his surroundings, “I still…”

”I know,“ John says, holding Alexander as the realization begins to sink in.

”I want her back as well.”

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irl-gwenstacy

3 years ago

*puts mine on* fabulous.🙄✋🏽 (irl I actually have some)

I beg your pardon????