ICELAND, 2022. Colorized Version © Charlie Lightening

19.04

THE DEAL

a/n: i literally wrote it in less than a day because i was inspired by a movie… of god, i have issues, but ANYWAYS! this one is a classic friends with benefits to lovers story with so much angst and a grandiose love confession at the end so buckle up, you are in for a treat!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEEEEASE give feedback if you enjoyed it!!

pairing: Harry X Reader

warnings: some, drinking, sexual content, a hell lot of it, angst and messy emotions, it’s a lot!!

word count: 11.8k

masterlist

If your life was some romantic comedy his would be the moment where the camera would zoom on you, your eyes blankly glued to the ceiling, makeup from last night smudged under them as a muscular, inked arm gets thrown across your chest, a snoozing man beside you as you have the internal little monologue.

“You’re wondering how I got into this situation, right? Completely naked with one of my best friends after a night spent with heavy drinking and ending up fucking in his apartment until we both fell asleep.”

Yeah, this is probably what the voiceover would say as the camera would slowly get farther from you, Harry’s sleeping figure coming into the frame while you’re still lying like a damn statue. This was not supposed to happen. Not that it was bad, because oh God! Harry really is as good as his ex-girlfriends gushed to you when you met them on night outs. You could never blame the women for falling for him, he has the charm, the personality, the humor and definitely the looks. If you weren’t you, you’d be one of those girls who would do anything to get his attention just for a split second. But you’re not.

Growing up with a single mother that was repeatedly fucked over by several men, you were taught to be the kind of independent woman who needs no man. Who only uses them for whatever reason and throws them away before they could even realize what’s happening. Feelings could never be involved in the equations, those are just not for you.

For a while you thought you weren’t even capable of feeling anything at all. But the way you cried when your hamster you got for your sixteenth birthday died changed your mind and you realized that you are just saving yourself the time of allowing people to make you develop feelings for them and then give them the chance to break your heart. You’ve seen that happen to your mother enough times to know that you don’t want to go through that. It’s not worth it and why would you risk it all when you could easily get what you need and move on to the next one?

Keep reading

“Are you saying goodbye to me?”

My Policeman (2022) Dir. Michael Grandage

Cute ❤️

-𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 || 𝐇.𝐒

Pairing: best friend!harry x reader

Content warning: fluff, talks of Fiancé’s and Ex’s & love

Word count: 2k

A/n: guess how long I’ve had this puppy in my drafts? ok but i never give my one-shots part two’s but I’m thinking ab it… I really like it… enjoy:) masterlist

Sex, talk, heartbreak, clogs. All a part of the most exotic parties— ones Harry threw at least.

We were three hours in; sweat drenched our hairline and underarm’s, tequila was starting to taste like water, and the weird party lights we had since god-knows-when made me dizzy until I was nauseous.

The guest bathroom was shut, moans leaking through the creaks under the door. I hated bathroom hoggers. The only restroom left in this little home was the one in Harry’s room. It was kept locked so Harry wouldn’t get infested with crabs.

It was one of those locks that could be opened by a penny, or the tip of an acrylic nail.

Every ounce of food and liquid I consumed was huddling at the tip of my tongue. I nearly missed the toilet (I halfway did).

“You’re cleaning that up tomorrow.”

I pulled away from the toilet with a blazing throat and mouth that tasted like bad dip. My head spun so much I couldn’t focus on the voice.

I’m going crazy.

The shower curtains shook open. I turned and caught Harry’s lopsided smile— the dimpled one that never failed to make my stomach bubble (in a good way).

“Why are you hiding in there?” I asked, letting the weight of my head naively rest on the toilet seat.

He huffed through his mouth. Then, I saw right past his facade.

Sarah guessed three shots, Mitch guessed two, I guessed 12 AM. The answers didn’t match, but I figured it would take time to let something devastating sink in rather than drinks. We made a bet on when the high of the party would go down and he was faced with the fact that his fiancé was now his ex-fiancé.

“Too many people.” He grumbled, playing with the hem of his shirt.

The toilet flushed and I was back on my feet throwing a towel on the puked bit of floor before making my way over the tub.

“You don’t fit.” He half-groaned, half-laughed.

“I’ll make myself fit.” I snuggled myself between his crossed legs and the cold tile beside the faucet. It was a tight space, but he was thin enough for us to both fit. Uncomfortably, that is.

“You look like you had fun.” He said.

“Hm, what gave it away?” I sighed, closing my eyes to relieve myself of the nausea that was coming back.

“You haven’t puked like that since we were teenagers.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at the memory. We had the bright idea of going to this popular’s girl party in year 11. We left drunk, and in so much trouble. One of the cops that caught us just happened to be our neighbor and drove us home without punishment.

Our mums didn’t hold back, though. I threw up my guts the next morning; as if that didn’t make me feel horrible enough, Harry had to watch as punishment, with Anne giving us a well-worded lecture about how disappointed she was and how she hopes we learn from our mistakes.

It only took us a couple tries.

“I still feel horrible about that night.” I wipe a tear away, stomach aching from laughter.

“It was very traumatizing. I thought I saw you threw up blood.”

“It was hot Cheetos.” I laughed hard, and so did he.

I closed my eyes for just a second to let myself breath. But he patted my knees.

“How’re you holding up, with the-“

“The ex-boyfriend thing?”

“Yeah…”

“Better…” I could sense that Anne ‘that’s a lie’ look he gained as he got older, so I shortened the lie and laughed, “Not so well.”

One of those laughs that reveals how hurt you are before you burst into tears.

I hated myself for leaving Him with so much power over my emotions. But it’s hard to move on from someone you saw everyday, made love to every other day, and told your secrets to because you trusted them.

Trust is a silly thing. Just as love.

Harry would know.

My face grew warm, and wet. Harry rubbed my knee, comfortingly. He knew this pain, this territory. But never were we both in the same state, disregarding our feelings to take care of one another. It felt foreign and I started to feel useless.

I hated that my heart hurt while his heart hurt, but maybe in a way, it’ll bring us closer together.

He sniffled. “God, I hate when you cry. It makes me cry.”

I opened my eyes to catch him wiping his tears. Then, I found myself crying more for afflicting my pain on him. Fuck drunk minds, and fuck stupid exes.

“Harry, don’t cry.” I whined.

He groaned before rubbing his eyes.

“Come on,” he patted my knee again, straightening himself in his spot to get up. He sniffled once more before he stepped over and offered me his hand. I stared at it, blearily. “Come on.” He said again.

Then I took his hand and stood a little too fast for my head. He held my hips in place until I gained balance.

“Don’t slip, you knob.” He laughed. He took one of my arms over his shoulders and led us the small patio outside his room.

There weren’t many people outside. Maybe a couple smoking a joint or two, converting in quiet voices.

“You think you’ll be able to climb up.” He pointed to the latter at the side of his house. If I hadn’t gone up there so many times before, drunk me would deny, but instead she gave me a boost of confidence.

“Psh! Yeah!”

He stared at me with his eyes wide. Even I heard my loud slurred words.

“We can stay-“

“Just hold my bum up, Harry.” I said, already making my way to the third step.

He gripped onto my waist firmly. All of a sudden I thought of all those times I’ve been touched on the waist; sexually, comfortingly. His hands felt hot, like they could burn a hole into my skin.

“Did you change your mind?” He says.

I looked at my spot on the latter, frozen still, then I shake my head.

I continued step after step, Harry’s grip getting looser and lower as I climbed higher.

Just hold my bum up, Harry.

Finally, I made at the very top and the weed stench was wary from here. Carefully, I roamed the top. Random tools and one of Harry’s old fisherman hats were up here.

“When was the last time you came up here?” I asked.

The latter wobbled some more before he responded with a grunt. “Erm, about three months I think.”

I could tell. The blue was turning brown and some of it was covered in bird turd. If anything it looked like it had been up here for years.

“Shit, that’s where my lucky hat went.”

He picked it up and for a second I thought he was going to put it on his head.

“Please don’t put it on.”

And for a second I couldn’t believe I doubted him.

He put it over his head and turned to look at me with a happy smile.

“You didn’t even smell it. You’ll have lice!”

He laughed and took it off to give it a whiff. Immediately, his face scrunched in regret.

“Oh god, that is-“

“Gross?”

He laughed hard enough to almost fall to his knees.

He opened his eyes to look at me with a peak of mischief. “You wanna smell it?”

“Absolutely not.” I slowly inched away.

“Just take a whiff, love.” He tilted it towards me.

“No, Harry.”

I eyed the hat as he grew closer and closer to me.

“I’m not kidding when I say I’ll murder you in cold blood, Harry.”

“You would do no such thing!” He whined.

“Wouldn’t you like to find out?”

With a blink of my eye, he took his chance. I tried to run past him but he was too fast.

He wrapped his arm around me and waved the hat in my face. I gagged, inhaling every bit of sour, wretched, sweat infused scent of it.

“YOU’RE AN ASSHOLE!”

“Plead for mercy!” He shouted deliberately.

“I plead! I plead!”

He laughed and let me go. Once the horrifying smell withered away, I joined him and tried to laugh the trauma away.

Harry threw the hat over the balcony. I laid flat on the floor to try and catch my rugged, chest-burning breaths. I got to catch a glimpse of the moon too.

“Plead for mercy?” I ask.

“Year 5, remember?” He joined me on the floor.

My mind goes back to a 10 year old Harry and a group of 5 other girls wearing head wigs and role playing as the Supreme Court. It was a sick experiment our teacher did for English. We had to defend our essay thesis’s like they were going to get executed.

Mine got executed but Harry made a scene in front of the other girls to defend me. Then one of them got fed up and stood, screaming “plead for mercy! Plead!” Panically, I did what she said. Harry made light of it by repeating it every time he could, and since then it’s always made me laugh.

“I remember. I just haven’t heard that in a while.”

“We use it all the time…” he pauses, “at least we used to.” His laugh grows faint.

It’s always like this. We get partners and slowly fade from each other, give the attention we gave to each other to them. Never the less, none of them deserved it.

“I missed you, Harry.”

We saw each other nearly everyday, but he knows what I mean. It’s never the same as it was when we were kids.

“I missed you too, Y/n.”

I turn to my side and he already has his head turned to me. I think about every memory since we were fifteen: every crush I thought I had, every boyfriend I thought I loved… I think and I think. And I don’t think I ever truly felt for them how strongly I ever felt towards Harry.

Staring at him,— the wrinkles he’s grown with age, the features that enhanced over the years; his nose, his eyes, his hair, his cheeks, his mouth— I think.

I think I’m too scared to admit what I feel… because I’ve never thought so deeply about it. I’ve never allowed myself to.

I look back at his eyes and they shrink as he smiles.

“I can see the moon in your eyes.” He says.

I take in the way he said it and realize how much I love it when he speaks.

“Do you see how much I love you?” My drunk mind voices, I know it this time because I can hear it. I can hear the hint of eagerness and pathetic validation falling from the tip of my tongue.

He nods without hesitation.

“Do you see it in mine?” He says. I look into them and get sucked in. I want to kiss him, but I don’t. I want to hug him, but I don’t. I’m still; frozen.

I do see it, Harry.

“Harry-“ I say, and he scoots closer like he’s ready to listen. I’m scared he’s close enough to hear my heart now and how loudly it bangs against my chest; how fast it’s talking like it’ll never shut up.

It doesn’t shut up.

Unfortunately, it speaks.

“I’ll never love anyone like I love you, Harry.” I say. “It’s scary, but you’re the one person I don’t think I could ever stop loving, Harry. You’re the light of my life…” I hesitate, but my heart speaks again, “the love of my life.”

Then, my heart shuts up. Like the words were a release.

He smiles. He leans forward the tiniest bit and meets his forehead with mine.

“Can I scare you a little more?” He says. I don’t respond. “I think you’re mine too. I think you have been for a very long time, Y/n.”

---

The Kindling from a Kiss

ONE SHOT

Summary: An annual overnight camping trip and a game of 'truth or dare' ignites something new in these best friends Harry and YN. Well, at least for one of them. Will it create a hot new relationship, or will it cause their friendship to go up in smoke?

A/N: I have wanted to write this for such a long time, and after cuddling under a blanket a few days back, I decided that now is the right time. I'm so ready for Fall weather.

Ps. You can picture Harry however you want, there's no specific 'Harry era' for this, I just like how this photo fit the vibe.

>> Warnings: 18+ ONLY: explicit language, alcohol consumption, and the tiniest suggestion of sexual activities

~~~~~

"You have to come. We do this every year."

"Exactly. I'll catch the next one." Harry chuckles, his eyes fixated on the page in front of him as he lays sprawled across his sofa, his long legs hanging over the armrest.

"Don't be a party pooper, H. You're coming. You'll have a good time! I promise!"

"Nah." He smirks, gaze not moving from the words displayed on the book in his hands.

You make your way to the front of the sofa, kneeling down next to him and bringing your clasped hands up to your face, pushing your lips out into a pout.

"Please?" You whine. "You wouldn't ditch your best friend, would you?"

His enchanting green eyes finally shift, resting momentarily on the pout of your lips, before quickly shifting up to meet your pleading gaze.

He chuckles as he sees the desperation in your eyes.

"Alright." He sighs, closing the book and pulling his legs around to sit up. "I'll go."

"Thank you." You jump up, grabbing his face in your hands and planting a quick kiss on his forehead. "I was worried I'd have to do some serious begging."

He bites his lower lip as he sits up straighter, throwing his arms behind his head as he leans back on the sofa.

"Damn, I caved too easily. I could've got, like, something really good outta this!"

Your jaw drops and you bring your palm up to swat his arm.

"Go pack a bag, you little shit. I wanna leave in twenty."

~~~~~

With your arms crossed in front of your chest, you stare at the ground and let out a frustrated growl.

"I can't believe my tent has a huge hole in it!"

"That's too bad, love." Harry replies, settling the last stake of his own into the ground and stepping back to view his handy work. "Guess you're sleeping outside."

"You're joking, right?" You reply, pressing your hands onto your hips. "You're not gonna offer to let me stay in yours?"

"What if I'm tryna get lucky tonight?" He smirks, wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

"That's not fair, you didn't even want to come!" You pout. "I persuaded you."

"That's true… you're very persuasive." He brought an index finger and thumb up to his bottom lip, as if to contemplate the choices he has. "Alright, we can share. But be warned, it's a small tent, and I like to cuddle."

"Yeah. Unfortunately I'm well aware of that."

~~~~~

"Julie, there's like twenty extra people here!" You look around at the nearby campsites and take in the amount of people who have joined your trip this year.

It started out, a few years ago, with your group of six- Julie, Flynn and his brother Justin, Avery, you, and Harry. You've all been friends since the beginning of high school, and during the summer after your Junior year, you all decided to go camp at the lake for a weekend.

Since then, now a few years into college, you've always made sure to attend this annual trip, but the size of the group seems to grow each time. A few others come back again, but your group of six has always stayed the foundation.

"Getting bored of us?" You chuckle, bumping her side with your elbow.

"Definitely." She smirks. "You're all so vanilla, and I need a little drama."

You roll your eyes. "Well… fingers crossed for you I guess…?"

"Thanks, doll." She laughs. "And my fingers are crossed for you!"

"For what?"

"That you get a bit of something too…" She winks, nudging you back before walking over to say hi to a few new people whom you haven't met.

You turn around to see some familiar faces, when you're met with the most familiar one of them all, popping out beside you.

"Shit!" You yelp, clutching your chest as your adrenaline has peaked.

Harry lets out a huge laugh. "A bit jumpy?"

"I just didn't know who it was." You swat his arm.

"Hmm. Yeah, lots of newcomers." He replies, scanning the faces of the nearby clusters of people. "Don't think I know most of 'em."

"See? That's why I begged you to come."

"So you like me 'round for ya?"

"You're alright." You stick your tongue out between your teeth as you reach up and grab his beanie, placing it on your own head as you nonchalantly walk away.

"Excuse me!" He exclaims, catching up to you and wrapping his strong, tattooed arms around shoulders, creating a hold so that you are unable to lift them. "Who do you think you are?"

He spins you around with a sarcastic smile on his face. You spread the cheesiest smile across yours and bat your lashes. "I'm your best friend, and my head is cold…"

"Aww, look how cute you look… how could I say no?" He smirks. "Oh, like this. No!"

You let out a huge laugh as he swipes his hand over the top of your head, grabbing the beanie back and securing it on top of the curly brown mop on top of his head.

"Damn you."

"Thief." He smirks again, showcasing those canyon-like dimples that everyone seems to fall in love with. "I'll get you one for Christmas or something, geez."

"Did it look decent though?"

"It actually did look good on ya." He chuckles. "But no one gets to wear this beauty. It's mine."

~~~~~

As you sit on a bench around a campfire with your friends, with the warmth of the fire comforting you, you feel the pressure of a finger stroke down your cheek.

"What the hell did you just put on my face?" You scold, turning to the right of you to see Harry's mischievous grin.

"I wouldn't do something like that." He chuckles. "On an unrelated note, you have Nutella on your cheek."

You run your index over the smudge, bringing it to your lips and slowly sucking the contents off of your finger.

"Bloody hell, YNN. How do you not have a boyfriend?" He laughs. "Because that looked… delicious, and I don't mean the Nutella."

"Wasted skills." You shake your head.

"Shame."

"It really is." You reply, scooping out some chocolate sauce from the jar onto your own index finger. You bring it up just enough to hover in front of your lips before shooting your hand over and wiping it all the way down his face.

"I hate you." He chuckles.

"Bullshit." You laugh, grabbing a graham cracker and bursting into a laugh as you use it to scrape the chocolate off of him.

"Yeah. I hate you."

"Really? Who watches 'The Notebook' with you? Who comes over on a Saturday morning and makes the best blueberry pancakes you've ever had? Who is cleaning the chocolate off your face with a graham cracker right now?"

"Who put the chocolate there in the first place?" He glares, letting a subtle smirk shine through.

"Hmm. Good point. Can't believe you haven't cut me out already." You reply, sticking your tongue out at him.

"Nah. I'll keep ya 'round. You seem to be useful." He grabs another graham cracker, scraping the rest of the Nutella off your own face, placing the marshmallow he was roasting on top, and taking a huge bite of his creation.

"Hmm… there's a new flavor to this one… it taste a lot like… sass." He winks.

You do the same with the graham cracker you have in your own hand. "And this one tastes like… idiot."

"Must taste delicious."

"Idiot. Yeah, it definitely tastes like idiot."

"But I'm your idiot!"

"I don't know if I wanna claim that." You giggle.

"Too bad. I know too much about you for you to let me go. You're stuck with me."

~~~~~

After s'mores are devoured, Flynn leaves the group to hang out with a few of the guys he invited, but the remaining five of you stick around to chat. You're still sitting on the bench with Harry, your legs crossed over his lap as you all talk about the college classes you like and the teachers you hate.

You look up when you hear some footsteps approaching, and see a vaguely familiar figure walking up to the bench across from you.

"Hi guys!" She exclaims, immediately darting her eyes over to the guy whose lap is stationary under your thighs.

"Hello, Sabrina." He replies, as everyone else gives her small, unacknowledged waves.

Oh yes, Sabrina. Not your favorite guest on this trip to be honest. If you think Harry is a flirt, this girl is at least double that. And she definitely isn't subtle about it. She joined the trip two years ago, by an invite from a friend of Flynn's, and she wasted no time throwing herself at Harry. He flirted back a little, like he does with everyone apparently, and she took that as a sign to ramp up her attempts to hook up with him. It was a bit irritating to say the least, and you cringed every time you watched it. The next year, which was last year, was no different. Her attempts were constant throughout the entire weekend, annoying as ever to yourself, but he didn't seem to mind. So it did puzzle you to why he has never seemed to fully act on her advances.

"What are you all up to?" She asks, eyes still focused on Harry.

"Just hanging out." Julie replies.

"Fun… I guess…" She shrugs, sitting on the bench she had walked up to.

"Do you have something better in mind?" Justin asks.

"How about a little game?"

~~~~~

"Okay, Sabrina, it's your turn. Truth or dare?"

"Dare." She smirks, quickly flickering her gaze to Harry yet again.

Julie faces Avery, and the two of them lean to each other and whisper, giggling as they seemingly make a plan. They look at Sabrina, then Harry. You figure as much, since she's been trying to grab his attention any chance she can get, and that eat that shit up.

You watch Avery cover her mouth as she whispers some more and you swear her gaze quickly shoots over to yours while she nods, before it snaps back to Sabrina.

"I dare you to kiss Harry, and then rate the kiss."

"Bloody hell, are we twelve?" Harry asks, rolling his eyes, but turning them to Sabrina and giving her a small, closed-lip smile.

"Just do it."

"I guess… rules are rules…" He shrugs, tapping your thighs for you to move them as Sabrina walks around the fire. He gives you a quick glance, his eyes wide, as he exhales heavily. When she arrives she grabs his face and puckers her lips as she leans down for the kiss. He holds her upper arms and stretches his head up to close the gap, placing his lips against hers.

She giggles against him, and you roll your eyes when you hear the popping sound of them releasing their kiss.

It was a small, quick kiss, but everyone whoops and hollers as she walks back around the fire and sits down, a huge grin on her face.

"So?" Harry asks

"I'd say a solid eight." She shrugs.

"What? An eight?" He frowns, crossing his arms around his chest.

"Well…" she smirks, biting her lip. "I didn't have much time to assess it."

"Oh my god." You mumble under your breath, and out of the corner of your eye you see Harry's eyes snap over to you, then swiftly returns back to hers.

"Fair enough." He chuckles.

"Okay." Avery claps her hands together once. "It's YN's turn."

You sigh, picking at your nails. You once again notice that Avery and Julie are whispering to each other, and your stomach starts to twist around. You usually aren't afraid of this game, you always pick 'dare' and rise to the occasion, but something about the way they've been whispering is making you nervous.

"Okay, YN." Avery states. "Truth or dare?"

"You know I'm gonna pick dare…"

"Oh I know." She smiles. "You… have to kiss Justin."

"Wow." You shake your head.

"Hold on!" She puts up her finger. "You have to kiss Justin… and then you have to kiss Harry, and then… rate them both."

"Oh, what the fuck!?" You exclaim. "Can you not think of any better dares than this? Seriously, how old are we?"

"Quit stalling, YN."

You growl, twisting on the bench to your left to see Justin's smile.

"Ready when you are."

You let out a laugh. "Okay then."

You lean closer and your palms grab his shoulders, feeling one of his hands lean against the bench as the other holds your back. Your mouth touches his, and you both begin to giggle, but try to keep your composure. He's been your friend for so long, of course this is comical. You pull away after a few more seconds, and pull your lips inward to stop from laughing.

One the other side of you, Harry's thigh grazes against yours as he adjusts his position, and you hear him clear his throat.

"Shit. If you hadn't been drinking beer…" Your mouth pulls across your face in an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry Justin. It was, like, a seven. It was surprisingly good. I just hate the beer you were drinking."

"Damn it!" He laughs. "That's fine. I can accept that. Although 'surprisingly good' is a little hurtful."

"I'm sorry, bud."

He gives you a small pout, but then a wink. "Maybe one day I'll earn a higher rating."

Harry's thigh grazes yours again, and you turn to your right to see his own smile.

"Let's get this over with, love." He chuckles.

"Yeah that's what a girl wants to hear before she gets kissed."

"Just do it already!" Julie shouts.

You turn to her and growl, then quickly turn back to Harry. As soon as your face is fully in front of him, his hands reach up to your cheeks and he pulls you closer. The sudden motion causes your palm to drop down and rest on his thigh, feeling a subtle smile form against your mouth. Your lips begin to part, your intention being to pull away and come up with some witty remark, but you feel the tip of his tongue push through ever so slightly, enough for you to notice, but not enough for everyone else to.

Your body ignites with a fiery sensation, as a fluttering appears in your stomach. Warmth covers you completely, and you start to feel your body melt. Without hesitation, your free hand reaches up and rests on the back of his neck as you unintentionally deepen the kiss.

It was quick, you think, but it felt like it lasted forever for you. He pulls away, keeping his face close to yours, and stares into your eyes.

"So?" He mumbles.

You stare back into his glistening green eyes, but remember where you are, why you just did that, and who is watching you, so you quickly pull back further, causing his hands to drop and you both to sit up straighter.

"It… it was… I hate this game..." You clear your throat. "I guess I'd rate it as a nine."

In your peripheral vision, Sabrina frowns, subtly crossing her arms around her waist.

"Hey! Harry was drinking beer too!" Justin exclaims, followed by another sarcastic pout.

"Yeah, but now he has gum in his mouth. It was… it was a minty fresh kiss." You shrug.

You hear Harry chuckle, but a blush suddenly rushes to your cheeks, and you refuse to look over to him.

"The magic of Trident, my friend." Harry replies, pulling a piece out of his pocket and reaching past your body to hand it to Justin.

"Two whole points, geez." Justin laughs, popping it into his mouth.

"Okay, okay, okay… It's your turn Justin." Sabrina grumbles.

Your lips purse as you exhale deeply, and your gaze drops to the ground.

"You alright there?" Harry utters, gently bumping his shoulder against yours.

"Mhmm." You nod. "That was just…"

"Amazing?" He chuckles quietly.

"I was gonna say weird." You reply.

"Harsh."

"Okay, not weird. Different." You shrug, your gaze still fixated on the ground beneath your feet.

You've kissed a few times before. Twice when you were both wasted, both times were as a joke and completely platonic. And there was only one other time, when you two were squabbling, and he did it to shut you up. But it's never been like this. This one felt different, like you said. Really different. It felt like there was something else to it. At least, it did for you. The kiss with Justin definitely didn't feel like that, and it really has nothing to do with the beer or the gum. Why do you feel flustered? What made this kiss, this kiss with Harry, feel so different than any other time… or with anyone else?

"I'll take different, over weird, I s'pose." He finally replies, breaking up your sudden and confusing thoughts. "At least I scored higher than beer breath sugar lips over there."

He points past you and you turn to see Justin shove as many marshmallows as he can into his mouth. Seems like a tame dare, except that he despises them. You let out a huge laugh, bracing yourself on the bench with the palm of your hand. You instantly feel another wave of tingles course through your veins as the warmth of Harry's hand barely touches yours. You slowly turn back towards him.

He quickly senses your gaze, and looks over to you, pulling his lips inward as his eyes search your plain expression.

You flash him a small smile, and you see his shoulders relax. But you're not sure if his casual demeanor is comforting or worrisome to you. You're glad he doesn't feel awkward, but frustrated that you do, and that you can't figure out why.

"I'm gonna get a drink." You mutter. "Want one?"

"Yeah." He replies, looking back to you, and presenting a wide smirk that showcases that naughty, deep left dimple. "I've got some gum left, so I'm alright to have another beer."

You roll your eyes and swiftly turn around as you feel another rush of red ignite your cheeks. You try to shake it off and reach into the cooler.

Maybe you shouldn't drink anymore. You are reacting so oddly and you don't want that to show through any more than it probably already does.

You suddenly feel a warm presence behind you and turn around to come face to face with Harry.

"Shit!" You exclaim, letting out a breath as you try to calm the heart beats that shot up at the surprise. "Stop doing that!"

"Sorry." He chuckles, slowly grabbing one of the beers out of your hand. "M'just thirsty and you're dawdling." He adds, flickering his gaze down to your lips for a split second.

"Oops." You manage to quietly reply, gulping down the lump that has formed in your throat.

He lifts the beer to his lips, resting them on the opening of the bottle, and you detect a small smile before he takes his first sip.

"Thanks." He states, raising the beer to cheers with yours, turning around and walking back towards the bench that you both previously occupied.

He stops a few feet away from you, and spins around, a furrow in his brow as he takes another sip of his beer.

"Are you sure you're alright? Y'kinda acting weird." He pauses. "Or… different, I guess I should say."

"Yeah." You state, trying to add a little enthusiasm in your tone to convince him. "I'm good.

"If you feel sick or something, spew outside, far away from the tent, yeah?"

Your expression turns into a glare. "Keep talking shit and if I need to I'll do it right on your pillow."

"Wow. You're just such a good friend." He states, a semi-sarcastic tone with his words.

"I really am." You poke your tongue, but as he reciprocates with a wink, you feel a flutter in your stomach again.

You feel dumb. It's Harry. You shouldn't be getting flustered around Harry. He's your best friend. This is the type of thing that happens when you're around your crush. And Harry isn't your crush.

But maybe that kiss started a crush. And you feel like that's fine. He's attractive, and makes you laugh, and you love spending time with him. An innocent little crush is fine. That's all it is. A crush.

~~~~~

As the original six of you stand at the water's edge, bouncing around on your legs, you hear Justin grumble and you turn to him.

"Tell me again why we have to do this?" He asks, his arms wrapped around his body to keep from shivering.

"It's tradition!" States Avery, with a straightforward tone, as if she shouldn't even have to answer such a question.

"Can't our tradition be something… warmer?" He grumbles again.

"You can't change the tradition, mate. That's the point of a tradition." Harry chuckles, placing his hand on Justin's shoulder.

"Fine. Let's get it over with." He replies, jumping up and down in place as he prepares himself for what's about to happen.

"Okay. On the count of three." Julie proposes. "Ready?"

"No." You growl.

"Now who's being a party pooper?" Harry chuckles, bumping your shoulder, quickly glancing down at your swimsuit and licking his lips. "Admit it, you wanted to see me in my swim shorts."

You roll your eyes, but can't deny that his bare, toned and tattooed chest is a nice sight for your eyes to take in. You feel a shiver run down your spine, and feel like you could blame it on the temperature of the air, but you know that's not really what is to blame.

"This isn't a want, this is a requirement." You look over to the rest of the group. "Can we just get this done?"

"One… two… three!" Julie shouts, and you all sprint into the freezing cold water of the lake.

"Fucking hell!" Harry yelps.

"I hate tradition!" Justin adds.

"Don't be babies, unless you wanna just pay up now..." Avery states, holding her hand out as if she is waiting for something to be placed in it.

Standing chest deep in the water, you laugh as you see everybody's teeth begin to chatter. The rule is that the first person to get out has to shell out one hundred dollars to the last one to stay in. You basically set aside extra money each month just for this trip, and this occasion, but it's always a fun challenge and you are usually one of the last ones to crack.

Harry begins to wade his way over to you and your heart starts to flutter. His wet curly hair and his glistening eyes, under the light of the moon, just add to his beauty. Yes, your best friend is beautiful, that's undeniable, but it's never been something you really focused on. It's also never been something that caused an extreme blush to engulf your cheeks. Not until tonight.

"I'm determined to last longer than you this time." He proclaims, getting closer and closer with each word.

"We'll see about that." You challenge him.

You could definitely win tonight, considering you start to feel warmer inside the closer he gets.

"Are you ready to give up yet?" You laugh.

"What? No!"

"Because I feel fine. Warm, in fact. So this will be an easy win."

"We'll see about that, babe." He replies, a mischievous smirk suddenly appearing, causing your nerves to heighten. "I'll do what I have to."

He stops right in front of you, and you hear him let out a subtle, low chuckle. He reaches around your back, and you let out a gasp, feeling the rush of heat become overpowering in intensity.

But all of a sudden, he pulls his arm back, and you see the wide grin on his face as you feel your swim top begin to float around in front of you.

"Are you kidding me Harry? What the hell?" You yelp, grabbing the piece against your chest to keep yourself decent.

"I'm in it to win it, love! And I figure pestering ya is a good strategy." He shrugs.

"You asshole." You huff, still flustered from the smooth motion of his arm as he untied your top, and suddenly wondering what he would've done it fell off completely. Would he have gotten as flustered as he is making you right now?

"Here… turn around… I'll fix it." He offers.

You feel his fingers run down your shoulders, searching for the undone ties, and you shudder at the touch.

"Getting cold, huh?" He chuckles. "Maybe I shouldn't tie this back up."

His hands linger as he holds both strings, moving close enough that you can feel his breath on the back of your neck.

"I could win this, and maybe get a good view too…"

You hold back a whimper, and feel lucky that the water would hold you up if your knees suddenly went a little weak. You turn your head to the side, getting a glimpse of him out of the corner of your eye, unintentionally biting your lower lip.

"Tie it up, you twerp."

"Hey. Can't blame a guy for trying to see a nice pair of-"

"Tie it up, Harry!"

His fingers graze the skin of your back, and you exhale deeply as the heat inside begins to travel up to your heart, but also down between your thighs.

"There." He whispers.

"Thank you." You utter back, and turn around to see that beautiful face again.

"Anytime." He smiles, and your heart races. With your thoughts and sensations swirling inside, you start to find it difficult to catch your breath.

Your eyes travel down to his lips for a moment, and when they move back up to his gaze, a small furrow of his brow is accompanied by a smirk.

Embarrassment floods over you and you wish the lake would just wash you away at this exact moment. You need to pull yourself away from him before you do something stupid and pull yourself in towards him.

"I…" You stutter. "I lose."

"What?" His eyes go wide and his mouth falls slightly.

"I'm taking the loss. I gotta get out." You state, looking past him to the other four in your group. "I'm getting out guys."

All four heads simultaneously snap over to yours, with eyes wide open to match Harry's.

"You're joking!" Flynn exclaims.

"She breaks!" Julie shouts. "Finally!"

"I thought you said you were fine?" Harry questions, with an expression of sarcasm and concern. "What happened?"

"Nothing." You shrug. "I'm just too cold."

"Is it 'cause I untied your top?" He asks. "I'll let ya pull down my shorts to even it out…"

Your heartbeat races as you begin to envision that scene unfold in your mind.

"You're an idiot." You reply. "And you'd likely walk out of the water with them down."

"Well yeah…" He laughs. "Gotta try to make a good impression on someone."

The warmth disappears from your entire body and you feel the color drain from your face. Someone. Not you, someone else.

"Umm… well, you'll have to… initiate that on your own. Sorry." You quickly respond. "I'm gonna go."

"So you're not staying for the show then?" He smirks, and you momentarily get drawn back into his eyes, that smile, and those dimples.

You shut your eyes to focus yourself and clear your throat.

"I'm sure you'll have enough of a crowd, Styles, you don't need me there."

You begin to make your way back to the sand, as the group cheers in their victory, so you turn your head to them.

"No one has won yet…" You scoff, waving them off. You grab your towel, quickly wrapping it around you, and make your way back to the tent to change.

As you get inside and take a moment to yourself, you realize something that you hadn't before. Something that the kiss seems to have sparked for you. You have feelings for your best friend. Not just because of the kiss, but because he is your best friend. Because he knows you, he cares about you, he makes you feel comfortable, and happy. He even makes you feel… loved. Harry makes you feel loved. Yep. You don't just have a crush on Harry, you definitely have feelings for him. And it sucks.

~~~~~

"YN?" You hear outside the tent, from that unmistakable British accent.

"Yeah?"

"Are you decent?" He asks. "I need to change. Kind of freezing out here."

"Yeah. All clear. Come in."

He unzips the tent and pushes his way through. Catching a glimpse of how his shorts are tightly gripping his crotch, you quickly refocus your attention back onto brushing out your hair, and do your best not to stare.

You can't deny you haven't wondered about his anatomy down there, but now is not the time to dwell on that.

"That was fast." You state, keeping your eyes down as he looks for some dry clothes.

"Yeah, well either Flynn was tryna cop a feel or something was swimming 'round my legs." He chuckles.

"I feel like you've used that excuse before, H." You state.

"Hey! M'serious! There is something in that water." He scoffs. "Bloody hell, ya meanie, can I just change now?"

"Yeah, give me one second." You state, moving around to find your phone.

"I've changed in the same room as you before, YN, it's a big deal…"

"Yeah." You begin to blush, feeling that warm sensation building up between your thighs again. "But I wasn't on the same eye level as your dick."

"Shame." He giggles.

"What is wrong with you?" You sarcastically scold.

"What?" He innocently shrugs.

"Why are you such a flirt?" You ask. You normally don't care but it seems to be causing you problems tonight.

"It's fun." He shrugs. "And I know I can get away with it with you, since we're friends."

That sounds like confirmation that he doesn't feel what you feel from that kiss. That he hasn't changed the way that he feels about you.

"Right." You clear your throat, finally finding and grabbing your phone. "Well I'm not gonna stick around for this show either."

"You're not being very fun tonight." His brow furrows.

"Because I don't want to see your ass hanging out?"

"It's a good ass." He smirks. "But, no, you're just being really weird."

"I'm not being weird." You frown.

"You're right. What was it you said?" He frowns back, pulling a shirt over his head. "Different. Yeah? You're acting different."

"I don't know what to tell you, H. I'm fine." You state sternly, unzipping the tent before he removes anymore clothing and you become even more flustered.

"Whatever you say." He shakes his head. "I'll see ya out there."

"Yep." You reply, exiting the tent and letting out a strong breath, realizing your body had been so tense during that entire interaction.

You knew you had been a bit aloof. You're trying to stabilize yourself. You may have all these new feelings for him, but he doesn't for you, and you shouldn't be making it uncomfortable for the both of you. You turn around with the intention of going back in and apologizing, but hover your hand over the zipper when you hear Harry mumbling.

"This is too much."

Your heart sinks and you clench your jaw. So, not only have you made it uncomfortable, but you've now completely embarrassed yourself to the point of him finding you annoying.

You're really beginning to regret playing that stupid game, suggested by that stupid girl.

~~~~~

The night goes on into the late hours, as it usually does, and you feel a little more at ease with the strangers around you, even introducing yourself to a handful of them. The two shots of tequila you took are probably helping with that.

But you are avoiding Harry. You don't want to embarrass yourself or bother him anymore. Especially now since things really do feel weird. Not just different. Weird. You made it that way, and you don't want to be face to face with him right now. And it's probably for the best considering you're a bit tipsy now. You don't want to say or do anything stupid.

But, of course, your eyes catch Harry's and you see him standing with Sabrina. She is definitely not your favorite person here, but she's standing next to him.

You roll your eyes as you turn away, heading towards the campfire, and mentally kicking yourself for not remembering to pack a hoodie.

"I was worried you'd forget a sweater again." You hear, making you turn to your side to see Harry standing over you.

"Yeah, well, typical me, right?" You reply, managing a small smile to try and hide any awkwardness.

"I wasn't tryna put ya down. Here, take mine." He replies, shrugging his down off of his broad shoulders. You unintentionally flicker your eyes down to the collar of his shirt, which is showing off the top of the sparrow tattooes as it pulls down slightly with the sweater.

"I'm fine, Harry."

"YN, come on, stop being so stubborn." He demands, handing it to you without giving you the option to reject it.

"Fine." You reply, grabbing it from him and instantly feeling the warmth from his body encasing you as you put it on. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, ya grump." He chuckles.

You drop your head down and begin to fiddle with the cuffs of the sweater.

"Yeah, well, I'll let you get back to Sabrina. She's probably a lot more fun than I am."

"That's not true." He proclaims with the most stern tone you've ever heard come out of his mouth. "But what's up with ya tonight?"

"Nothing. I'll just catch up with you later, okay?" You stand up and walk off, hearing him growl as you move further away.

You try to slyly turn back and see him down a shot of his own before heading back over to talk to a small group of people, including the one girl who may want Harry almost as much as you do. The one he probably wants too.

You reach a nearby tree and lean against it, closing your eyes and trying to breathe through the tightness in your chest.

"What are you doing, YNN?" You hear, opening your eyes and finding Flynn standing next to you.

"Huh?"

"Both times Sabrina has come to this thing, and thrown herself at Harry, you've been there to intervene."

"Intervene?"

"Well, like, come to his rescue." He responds.

"I have?" You smack your hand against your forehead. "Shit."

"Wait, that wasn't intentional?" He mutters. "I thought you were just trying to be a good friend."

"A good friend? A good friend doesn't cockblock someone…" You wince. "No wonder he hasn't hooked up with her."

"What? No." He shakes his head. "I'm pretty sure he doesn't like her."

"Really?" You ask, hoping that the feeling of excitement and relief hasn't pushed through. "I just figured he did, since I saw them talking over the-"

As you point over to the spot you last saw them, your eyes don't land on them talking, but your heart lands in the pit of your stomach.

They are still there, but definitely not talking. Sabrina is on her tiptoes, wearing Harry's beanie, with his face squished between her palms and her lips smashed against his. His hands are on her shoulders and he pulls away, whispering something in her ear before she nods and drops her hands down.

"Oh." Flynn states. "I, uh, guess I was wrong."

"Umm… yeah, looks like you were…" You fumble out, dropping your head down and trying to hold back any sign of your disappointment. "Guess… he doesn't need to be rescued anymore."

Your breathing becomes rapid, and there's a tightness in your chest. You were right, he doesn't feel the same for you. And of course the weekend that you finally discover your feelings for Harry is the weekend he's going to hook up with Sabrina. You feel like such an idiot.

You turn around, trying to find a place that will hide and comfort you in any sort of way. Your gaze lands on the multitude of alcohol spread out on some tables, and you instantly make your way over.

You pour another shot for yourself and pound it as soon as the liquid reaches the top of the glass.

"Was that a 'this night is shitty' shot or a 'this night is fucking awesome' shot?" Someone chuckles behind you.

You place the glass down and swivel around, facing a guy who you introduced yourself to earlier. His name was something like… Brendan? Or maybe Brandon?

"I'm Devin..."

You were close enough.

"We met earlier." He states, giving you a little grin.

"Yep. I remember." You smile back, pouring another two shots, and handing one over to him.

"So, what type of shots are these… shitty night or awesome night?"

Your eyes flicker past Devin for just a moment, and land on the intense stare of Harry, his arms crossed over his body as Justin and some new guy talk beside him.

"How about 'fuck this whole trip, I wish I never came here' shots?" You reply, feeling the alcohol begin to take over a bit and suddenly not giving a shit about it.

"Wow. Alright. Let's do this then." He shoots back the tequila with you, both wincing at the burn it causes sliding down your throat.

"So, it's really that bad huh?" He asks.

You just shrug, not even knowing what you could possibly say to this stranger that could explain it all, and also not make him bolt in the other direction after hearing how pitiful you sound.

"Will another shot help?" He chuckles, reaching for the bottle that's sitting on the table.

Your eyes glance back over to Harry, and see Sabrina squeezing her way between him and Justin, placing her hand on his shoulder. His eyes stay fixed on you, but yours glance over to her. She's still wearing his beanie.

"Might as well try."

~~~~~

After some time goes by, chatting with Devin, you start to feel the alcohol wear off and reach back to the bottle for another round.

Before your hand grips it, you feel his hand on your forearm and your eyes shoot up to meet his.

"Is your night getting any better?" He asks timidly. "Not just from the tequila."

You give him a smile and let out a giggle, fueled by the shots but also by how shy he now looks while talking to you.

"Yeah. It is."

He suddenly gets closer, giving your arm a gentle squeeze as he leans forward and places a kiss on your lips.

You gently push him back and scrunch your face when you see his embarrassed expression.

"Oh shit. I'm sorry." He exclaims, a bright red blush forming on his cheeks. "I read this all wrong didn't I? Shit. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Devin. Can we just keep hanging out, casually?" You respond. The effects of the alcohol apparently click back in or something because you start to wobble backwards a tiny bit, causing him to reach out and throw his arm around your back to secure you.

"Hey mate!" You hear being yelled, instantly registering who those words were coming from. "I think you need to walk away."

Harry shows up right next to you and helps you steady yourself. His arm wraps around your waist right as Devin pulls his away.

"Harry, what the fuck?" You ask, looking apologetically towards Devin.

"He was trying to take advantage of you!" Harry shouts.

"No. What? Shit. No, I was just-"

"Leaving. You were just leaving. Yeah?"

Devin's eyes dart between you and Harry, and your head shoots a glare at the man beside you.

"YN, I'm sorry." He states, with an apprehensive tone to his voice. He places one hand on his chest, with a nervous look on his face.

"No. Devin. I'm sorry… about this..." You mumble, unsure if he could hear you due to the sudden shaking feeling in your chest.

"Fucking leave." Harry growls, causing Devin to simply nod and walk away.

You immediately push Harry off of you and hit his chest with your fists.

"What is wrong with you?" You yell. "For fucks sake, Harry! You're such an asshole!"

"What the hell did I do wrong? I was trying to help you."

Your jaw starts to clench, as hurt and anger start to consume you.

"Help me?… right, okay… except you… damn it, I hate this whole fucking weekend!"

"Yeah that's been apparent." He snarks.

"Fuck you." You scoff. "It's all your fault anyway."

His eyes widen at your statement and a deep frown forms right between his brows.

"What the fuck, YN? How? What the fuck did I do wrong?" He asks again.

Someone catches your eye behind him, slowly walking up to the two of you. The first thing you notice is the familiar beanie, as you then realize that it still sits on top of Sabrina's head.

"Of course… I can't fucking do this with you right now." You reply between gritted teeth. He turns his gaze over his shoulder to see her moving her way towards him, then turns his head back to you. You give him a glare and turn around to quickly make your way to the tent.

"Hey, umm, I'll catch up with you later." You can hear Harry state, soon hearing his footsteps getting closer to you.

"Go away Harry."

"YN, for fucks sake, will you just stop and talk to me?"

"There's nothing to talk about Harry." You growl. "But… let me know if you want some privacy in the tent tonight. I'll just see if Julie has some room for me in hers."

"What? No. You can sleep in the tent…" He finally catches up to you and grabs your arm, spinning you around to face him. He steps as close as he can, holding both your arms as he catches his breath.

You're caught off guard for a moment when you're met with a sweet natural scent diffusing out from him, and you suddenly cannot remember if it's always been like that, or if you're only just now more aware of it.

"What the fuck is going on with you tonight?" He breathes out, his glossy, but concerned emerald eyes burning a hole into yours.

"I… I don't…" Despite everything boiling inside, your body has lost the ability to move, and apparently your brain has lost the ability to form sentences. "I don't know."

He steps closer, which you didn't think was even possible, and his eyes dart all over your face, clearly looking for a clue as to what you're thinking.

"C'mon, YN, we're best friends! I know you. Something's up." His eyebrows quickly pinch together again as he holds his stare. "But I feel like I'm going crazy! Are you just making out with random guys now? Like, what the fuck is that about? Are you that drunk?"

"Don't be dramatic, it was a quick kiss. And why do you care? It's really none of your business." You glare at him, pushing against his chest so you can give yourself some distance. "You shouldn't have butted in, and you definitely shouldn't have yelled at him!"

"He was getting grabby! I saw you pushing him away. What the fuck was I s'posed to do?" His voice is raised, and way more intense than you've ever heard it. Even during your little spats, his tone has always been controlled.

"Could've minded your own damn business. I can handle myself." You snap back, the words falling out of your mouth before you can catch them.

"Minded my-... are you serious? It's absolutely my business if some guy is making you uncomfortable. I don't give a fuck who it is. You're my best friend, YN! I… I care about you more than anyone else here!"

The term 'best friend' has never made you feel any sort of pain, until now. You are best friends, and you have been best friends basically since you met. But now one kiss, one dared kiss, has you feeling so different than you have before. It has you feeling so much more for him, feeling so jealous, and feeling so desperate for him to just kiss you again at this very moment. It even, you think, has you feeling love. But he doesn't feel any of that.

"Really? Is that why your lips were locked with Sabrina's? Because you care about me?" You growl through gritted teeth.

"What?"

You drop your gaze to the ground and take a deep breath. As you look back up into his beautiful stare, your heart drops again for a split second. He kissed Sabrina, and just called you his best friend. Now you really know where you stand with him, and it's too much to handle.

"Just…" Your jaw clenches, as you start to protect your heart, while feeling it begin to break. "Don't worry about me."

"That's stupid. M'gonna worr-"

"Just don't, Harry!" You exclaim, hearing him quietly gasp at the words that just came out and the tone that accompanied them.

"YN…"

You pull in your lips as you feel a tightness build in your chest and tears beginning to form.

"Just please, Harry… please leave me alone."

His arms drop to his sides and his mouth drops open.

"YN, m'sorry-"

"Please." You utter, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep from completely falling apart.

You look up through your lashes and see him nod, moving backwards with the smallest steps as he runs a hand through his hair.

"M'sorry." He whispers, barely enough for you to hear him, shoving his hands in his pockets and turning around to walk away.

You turn and take those last few steps to the tent, fumbling with the zipper and desperate to get inside.

After you finally make your way in, and zip it back up, you immediately fall down onto your sleeping bag. You don't bother changing, and curl up in Harry's sweater.

With his scent still lingering on it, filling the tent, the tears begin to fall.

You hate that the kiss changed everything for you. You hate that it happened in the first place. You hate all you want is for him to march into the tent, wrap you up in his arms, tell you that he wants you too, and kiss you again with as much passion as you felt the first time. You hate that the kiss changed nothing for Harry, and most of all, you are starting to hate that you actually love him.

~~~~~

You wake up in the morning, alone in your tent, to the sound of muffled chatter in the distance. Still in your clothes from the night before, you do your best to fix your hair, shuffling out and over to the open area where everyone is eating breakfast. Almost everyone.

You grab some coffee, not really feeling like you can stomach much more than that, and sit at one of the nearby picnic tables.

You take a sip but shoot straight up again when you see Devin grabbing a plate of food.

With your coffee in hand, you make your way over to him.

"Hey. Devin. Can we talk?"

He looks at your surroundings before looking back over to you.

"Are you sure you wanna do that?" He asks, surprising you as the question is followed by a chuckle.

"I'm so sorry." You reply, placing your face in your palm, feeling the possibility of tears arriving at any moment.

"Let's go sit." He suggests, motioning to the picnic bench you had just been occupying.

You take a seat across from him, your coffee sitting between your hands and your elbows on the table.

"I'm so sorry about last night." You repeat, dropping your gaze to your mug.

"Don't be. I just read things wrong and… didn't know you had a boyfriend…"

Your head immediately snaps up to his. "No, no, no. Harry isn't my boyfriend. We're just friends, like, best friends. That's all."

"Well…" He pauses to take a small bite of his food. "That was quite an odd reaction then."

"What do you mean?"

"YN, that was an extremely 'boyfriend' type of reaction he had when seeing me kiss you." He looks at you bashfully as he reminds you of what he did.

"He just… thought you… were making some unwelcome advances."

"I guess." He shrugs. "But the way he looked at you, and at me, and the way he held you so close… I don't know… it just seemed like there was something more going on there."

"There's not. Trust me, there's not." You sigh. "Definitely not for him anyway."

Your hand immediately covers your mouth and you hear him giggle.

"Oh okay." He grins. "So that was the reason for those 'fuck this whole trip' shots."

"I'm so sorry. I hope you don't think I was just trying to, like, lead you on or anything…"

"No. You were fine. I was having fun, I just misread the situation." He shrugs.

"Just so you know, I was having fun too." You smile, taking another sip of your coffee.

"And… I mean, I could be misreading this too… but it does seem like there's something more going on between you guys, for him too."

You place your mug down and shake your bed. "Doubtful, considering his empty, untouched sleeping bag."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Well…" He takes his last bite of food and begins to stand up from his seat. "If you need someone to hang out with or want to take some more 'drink your pain away' shots, maybe away from certain tall, angry British men… come find me."

"Oh god." You let out a huge laugh. "I might take you up on that."

He gives you a quick wink and walks off, but his place at the picnic table is quickly taken up by Julie.

"So?" She asks, eyes wide with anticipation.

"So…?"

"Did you and Devin hook up last night?"

"No! Why would you even think that?"

"Well, I heard that something happened last night involving the two of you. I thought it might've been something juicy." She furrows her brow. "You could've waited for me, to play out some drama!"

You roll your eyes at her as she giggles.

"Yeah, well, it wasn't the fun kind of drama, if that's even a thing."

"So, wait, does Harry not know you and Devin didn't hook up?" Her sudden, random question takes you by surprise and your posture becomes rigid.

"I don't know. Probably too busy hooking up with Sabrina to even give it a second thought."

Just the sound of her name now triggers a knot in your stomach.

"He didn't hook up with her." Julie states.

"He didn't?"

"No, he slept in Justin's tent." She replies. "That's the other reason I thought you and Devin had done the deed. I thought he was giving you two space for some alone time."

"Why didn't he sleep with her?" You blurt out, mentally slapping yourself as soon as you hear the question leave your lips.

"That's a super weird thing to ask…" She raises a brow in curiosity. "I don't know. I mean, why didn't you sleep with Devin?"

Your gaze suddenly drops again, and you feel a very inconvenient and unwanted blush appear. It's unfortunate that you've been friends for so long, because you know she can instantly read your reaction.

"Oh shit. I knew it. Avery and I were just messing around with that dare..." Julie whispers. "But after the kiss, I knew something happened. I knew something was up with you."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Like hell you don't!" She raises her voice, causing an immediate shush to come out of your mouth. "Oh my god…"

"What…"

"Is that why you didn't stick around during the water challenge? I saw how close he was to you, and you looked nervous. Plus, you never leave first."

"I was cold…"

"I know Harry's your best friend, so he knows you the best, but I've known you just as long, YNN. And that's a bunch of bullshit."

"What does it even matter, Julie?" You close your eyes, feeling your heart squeeze just as tight. "Our kiss didn't change anything for him. Instead, he went off and kissed Sabrina."

Her hands lift up and hold her cheeks. "Were you even here last night? Seems like you don't know anything that happened."

"What do you mean?" You instinctually lean towards her.

"YN… she kissed him…" She replies, looking around to confirm that no one else is listening in. "I mean, we all know how she flirts with him. Disgusting, by the way. But I guess this time she grabbed his beanie and wore it to get him to talk to her, and when he walked up to get it, she made her move and kissed him."

"Oh?"

"Justin told me that Harry was not having it and politely whispered to her to back off." She shakes her head. "Then Justin said he later walked up to everyone and he seemed super pissed for some reason. She tried to talk to him again, like, one last attempt to get what she wanted I guess. Again, disgusting. But apparently he told her to 'keep the fucking beanie' and leave him alone."

"Shit."

"Yeah. She left early this morning." She chuckles. "Why was he so pissed, YN? What the hell happened with you two?"

You wince at the memories of last night and let out a huge, shaky sigh.

"We had a huge fight."

"For what?"

"I, uh, I just got so flustered after the kiss. Clearly you saw that. And realized… that I wanna be more than friends." You clear your throat. "But he doesn't. And when I saw him kissing Sabrina… or I guess her kissing him… I got jealous."

"Okay…"

"When I was hanging out with Devin later, he tried to kiss me. It was an innocent misunderstanding, but Harry walked up and was super rude to Devin-"

"He was jealous." Julie nods. "Go on."

"He wasn't-... anyway, I got pissed and walked away. He followed me and we had a huge fight. Julie, we've never had a fight like that. I told him to leave me alone and… so he did."

"Oh boy." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "That's… wow… that's intense. Yeah, seems like that kiss changed things for the both of you."

"Seems like you got the drama you wanted."

"I tend to get what I want." She giggles, then immediately reaches across the table and grabs your hands. "But I didn't want that for you. And now I just want you to get whatever it is that you do want."

You sit up straighter. You don't know what you want now. But that's a lie, because you know exactly what you want. You just can't have it, because you want Harry.

~~~~~

You spend the next hour sitting near the edge of the lake, knees pulled up to your chest, arms wrapped around, and chin resting on them.

You keep replaying yesterday over and over in your head. And you can't seem to get the last few of Julie's comments out of your head. She's right, that kiss did change things. Maybe everything. Maybe now you've pushed him away.

You nuzzle your head behind your knees and begin to let the tears fall. Your heart drops at the thought that maybe the two of you won't even be able to be friends anymore.

There's a shift in the sand next to you, and you look over to see Devin matching your position.

"Oh shit." He states as you wipe your cheeks dry. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No." You sniffle. "You're fine. I could use the company."

"Have you talked to that Harry guy yet?"

You can only manage to shake your head.

"I… I saw him talking to Justin…" He looks over to meet your gaze. "He looks sad."

"I think I fucked it all up." You finally speak.

"Well… I'm here if you wanna have a new friend." He chuckles, causing you to look back over to him and give him a smile.

"I do need someone to take shots with." You smirk.

"Sold." He chuckles again. "And for what it's worth… I mean, take it with a grain of salt, considering I have misread things before…"

He bumps your shoulder and you shake your head as you giggle.

"But I don't think you've fucked it all up." He adds. "Just leave the 'fucking things up' to me."

You let out a little laugh, but are interrupted by the shuffling of feet and a familiar presence behind you.

Devin looks over and his face drops. You follow his gaze to see Harry standing there with his hands in his pockets, eyes fixed on you.

"Look, man, I'm just talking to her." Devin explains, standing and throwing up his hands to display his innocence.

"S'alright." Harry replies, still looking down to you, but you turn your gaze back to the water. "M'just wanting to talk to her too."

"Yeah, I'll, uh, head back." Devin nods, stepping forward to catch your eyes. "Come find me if you need me."

"Thank you, Devin. Really, thank you." You nod quietly, shooting a quick smile before he waves and walks away.

You feel another shift in the sand as Harry takes a seat on the other side of where Devin had been sitting.

"Are you friends with him now?" He asks, with a level tone to his voice.

"I guess." You shrug. "He didn't do anything wrong, Harry. You misunderstood the entire thing."

"I know. Julie told me." He admits, his gaze joining yours as he turns to the water too.

"What else did she tell you?"

Out of the corner of your eye, you see him now drop his gaze to his feet.

"Just that I was an idiot."

"Yeah well…"

There's a silence for a moment between the two of you, and your breathing and thudding heartbeats are all you can hear.

"I wasn't kissing Sabrina, YN. You kind of misunderstood that one."

"Yeah." You let out a strong exhale. "Julie told me."

"I don't even like Sabrina." He states furrowing his brow as he looks over to you. "Can't stand her, actually."

Your breath hitches at his admission, but know that doesn't mean he feels anything for you.

"M'sorry, YN. Really sorry." He turns his body to yours and puts one hand on your knee. "Can we please just go back to being ourselves? To having fun together? To being best friends again?"

"I don't think we can just be friends anymore, Harry." You blurt out, a little faster and louder than you intended.

"What?" He replies with a strained voice. "Look I know I was an asshole, but… you… you really just don't want to be friends anymore?"

You quickly stand up with your body now in fight or flight mode, knowing that it definitely wants to pick the flight option, but Harry immediately pops up too and stands directly in front of you.

"It's not that-"

"Then what the fuck is it? Because I would never just throw away our friendship for something like this. You're my best friend. I don't wanna lose that. I can't lose that!"

Tears immediately start pouring out. You don't want to lose that either, but you're lying to yourself if you think you'd be fine just staying friends. It will rip your heart apart.

"But I don't think I can do that. Not just that anyway. Not anymore."

"What does that even mean? What was so bad that it's made you not want to be my friend anymore?"

"The kiss!" You shout, your head swirling with all of the racing thoughts and emotions. "That kiss yesterday. It… it just…"

He steps closer, causing your breath to hitch when you meet his intense, and concentrated gaze.

"It just… what?" He asks in a low, hushed voice which makes your knees weak.

"It just… it changed how I feel about you. It… made me want to, umm, to be more than friends. I want to be with you, actually be with you." Your gaze drops straight to the ground and your chest tightens with your confession. "But I feel like a complete idiot, like I'm ruining our friendship, because the kiss didn't change anything for you."

He takes another step towards you, and one hand wiping away your tears as the other settles under your chin to meet his gorgeous green eyes.

"No, you're right, it didn't change anything for me." He clears his throat, still fixated on you. The knot in your stomach twists tighter and you want nothing more than to bolt. "Because I already felt that way."

"What?" You take a half step back, shocked by the words he just uttered, a little unsure if you even heard him correctly.

"YN, I love being your best friend. Really. And I'll take what I can get. But, I've wanted to be more than friends with you for a long time."

You feel your chest rise and fall at a much faster pace, and your heart begins to race.

"But... why didn't you say anything?"

"Well, 'cause I'm an idiot." He chuckles, moving his hand and running two fingers up and down your arm. "And I didn't want to push anything on you. Or push you away."

You begin to feel butterflies over just the mere understanding of his consideration. You lift your palms up and gently cup his cheeks, your eyes scanning every inch of his face to memorize the moment.

"I… I was worried I was the one pushing you away." You wince. "I can't believe you just stuck around, willing to just stay friends."

"Apparently I like to torture myself, I guess." He clicks his tongue. "But I felt like it was worth it. And now I'm glad I did."

"I'm glad you did too. And actually now kind of glad we played 'truth or dare' too." You bite your lower lip, feeling his breath on your nose and he lets out an exhale and licks his lips.

The hand that was grazing your arm slowly moves down to your waist, and his other moves to the back of your neck. Instantly, your hands grab his flannel shirt as you bring him in even closer to you.

He stares into your eyes, then down to your lips, with a smirk forming on his face. His head moves closer and your heart beats even faster as you feel a rush flow through your body.

Then your lips meet, and it's as if your entire body is finally awakened from a sleep you didn't know it was in.

Your mouths move together, sighing against each other as you grab tighter to his shirt. His tongue, once again, attempts to part its way into your mouth, and this time you fully let him. He pulls you in to deepen this kiss and you melt right into his arms. The heat inside you erupts and you begin to feel it in every part of your body.

He finally pulls away to catch a breath, resting his forehead against yours.

"Better than last night?" He asks, keeping his eyes closed as he smiles. "Higher than a nine?"

"Definitely a ten. And you didn't even have gum this time!" You joke.

His eyes open and meets you with the most tender gaze as he moves his lips back to yours.

"Woo hoo!"

His mouth stops before it touches yours, and both of your heads snap towards that noise, seeing your group of friends clapping and cheering as they watch the two of you.

"Bloody hell, fucking creeps!" Harry shouts, as you hide your face in his chest.

"Oh shut up!" Avery shouts back.

"Yeah!" Julie adds. "We're just happy for you!"

He looks over to you, then your lips, letting out a low and deep exhale.

"Would you, umm, wanna go back to the tent? Just for some privacy?"

You instantly bite your lower lip and nod, grabbing his hand as he leads you away.

He quickly unzips it and trips as he makes his way in, causing you to fall right on top of him on his sleeping bag and burst out into a fit of giggles.

"Well that worked out in my favor." He smirks, wrapping his arms around your waist.

"Yeah, smooth move." You roll your eyes.

He reaches out and holds the back of your head, pulling you down and pressing his lips passionately against yours. He doesn't hesitate to slip his tongue inside, and you let out a breathy moan. He begins to press his hips up into yours, causing you to let out yet another breathy moan.

"You're okay with this, yeah?"

"Mhmm." You hum back, moving your lips across his jaw and down his neck.

"F-fuck, babe." He whispers, grabbing your hips and bucking up into you again.

Your run your hand down his chest, sliding over the bulge pushing against his pants.

He throws his head back, eyes closed, and displays the widest smile you've seen from him.

"I've imagined this moment so much." He moans. "Feels… so… much better than I thought."

"I, uh, I definitely want to do so much more with you… just not here, on the hard ground, with our creepy friends nearby. But… I do want to show off my Nutella skills right now…" You see his eyes shoot open and his head snap down to meet yours, causing you to bite hard on your lower lip.

"Should…" He chuckles. "Should I go get a jar of it then?"

"No. I don't want you to leave." You lick your lips. "I think I can find something else to taste…"

~~~~~

You lay nuzzled in Harry's arms, your head on his chest as you feel it rise and fall.

"Harry?" You whisper.

"Yeah babe?" He whispers back.

"Truth or dare?"

"What?"

"Truth or dare?"

"Truth…" He replies hesitantly.

"What was the moment you realized you liked me?" You ask, tracing his sparrow tattoos with your finger.

"Remember that trip here, when you came to my tent to spend the night, because you had invited your cousin

and found her throwing up all over the floor of yours?"

You can't speak for a moment, taken back by how quickly he responded to the question.

"Ew. Yes." You cringe at the memory.

"And you had on that blue fucking bikini."

"That's how you knew you liked me? Because I was looked good in a swim-"

"Lemme finish. Geez." He chuckles, softly running his fingers up and down your shoulder. "No. You had to borrow my shirt and boxers to sleep in. I liked it. That's what you looked good in."

He grabs your body and brings you in closer to him, kissing your forehead before resting his cheek on it.

"You had to share my sleeping bag with me, and we talked for a while, and when you fell asleep you ended up cuddling into me." He clears his throat. "You smiled when I wrapped my arms around you, and it felt so natural, so good… I realized I wanted to do that with you every day."

You slightly tilt your head to place gentle kisses on his chest.

"Man, these camping trips are magic or something." You giggle.

"Okay, YN, truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Do…" He inhales his breath, so you places more kisses on his chest. "Do you think… fuck, do you think it's too crazy that… that I love you?"

Your heart beats faster than it ever has before, and you unintentionally let out a whimper as you feel his breathing increase in its pace.

"No." You utter. "Because I love you too."

His breath hitches and he reaches under to chin to being your eyes to his gorgeous greens.

"Thanks for persuading me to come this year."

He places a gentle kiss on your lips and then rests his cheek on the top of your head.

"Well, I did promise that you'd have a good time."

~~~~~

If you'd like to send extra support, I love coffee 💗Bee xx

~~~~~

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