“I Love You Because The Entire Universe Conspired To Help Me Find You.”

soldier, poet, king

i took the soldier, poet, king test

i got king

of course i got king

what else was i possibly expecting

when has my life ever not been a burden for me to bear

a weight placed on my shoulders

"a natural leader" they called me as if they did not make me this way

forged me to be independent (quiet) and strong (afraid to ask for help) and a leader (needing to take charge because things are easier if

i

do

them

myself)

kings are the gifted children

i was so far ahead they didn't know what to do with me

and now i'm average

and it hurts

Duty. Strength. Resignation.

when did i stop doing things for the love of them

when did life become a chore

when did everything become a routine to follow before i could be done

when did i start hating everything i did

when did i become the king

was i always the king?

they ruined me

they turned me into this

this is their fault

and now i'm the king

yes, king.

always king.

it was never going to be different.

and i'll take the crown

and live with it

and wish

maybe

i could be the poet instead

I hope with time you can breathe easier within yourself and all that hurt your heart that did not deserve to touch it will fade as your soul heals while all those tears you cried become flowers that bloom to sweeten your path and that a time to smile will come as you let yourself turn toward the abundant warmth of light and open to the beautiful kiss of life -J.Wool, Kiss of Life

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

“Always defend your right to heal at your own pace. You are taking your time. You are allowed to take your time.”

— Unknown

Just feel, just feel, just feel, and I think it is so simple

yet the layers are much deeper than garnish,

much harder to reconcile a heart and a soul with everything and nothing.

If only you were like dusk at sea, serene and comforting around my shoulders.

© Anna S. 2024

trying to think of something to say

for international lesbian day of visibility

i love women

happy lesbian day :) <3

i find

home

in the

silence.

"solace."

d.b.a

the emphasis of nothing.

lovable

i always thought i was the luckiest person in the world

to have found the friends that i did

i never stopped to consider

that maybe i was capable of being loved

there are flowers on my bedside table

that she got me when i didnt get the job

a text telling me to drink water

and another asking how i'm feeling

after a nonverbal episode

walking laps around the school

to talk about whatever we want

and she hugs me at the end

a million i miss yous

and i love yous

good nights

good mornings

164 games of 8 ball on gamepigeon

and a lifetime of memories

maybe i am just lucky

but maybe they love me

because i love them

ocean

i told her she was the ocean

but she didnt understand what i meant

and i couldnt explain it without telling her

that i like her

she is beautiful and steady and consistant

waves crashing on the shore

i almost told her she was the moon

shining in the sky

i dont think she would've gotten that one either

the moon and the ocean and the night sky

and everything gorgeous and powerful

and always, always there

butterflies

there is something so nice

about having a new crush

someone new to look for

in the hallways on the way to class

someone i can tell my friends about

someone to text and to giggle over

i wish that the butterflies

could always be so uncomplicated