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It really is kinda awful how many job listings will just straight up lie to you about what you "need" to be able to do to screen out disabled applicants. Like fucking Safeway will be looking for a cashier and the listing is like "you ABSOLUTELY MUST be able to stand for 8+ hours a day, NO exceptions" as if you can't do everything required to run the check out line sitting down. Old Navy is like "you must be able to understand body language and facial expressions and make eye contact" like sorry dude I think autistic people can sell t-shirts just fine without doing all that, like honestly what the hell does understanding facial expressions have to do with telling someone where the clearance section is. Don't really think the customers at TJ Max are going to go full Purge mode if one employee can only perform a task requiring fine motor skills 15 times a minute instead of 30, like idk maybe you don't need the lines to move thst fast actually. Maybe everyone can chill out and wait a second. I think the people at Starbucks will be okay if the barista isn't great at multitasking and can't make small talk with every single customer while also running the drive through and making 15 different drinks.

It's such horseshit, none of these job require these things but they can just lie and say they do and disabled people will clear out because we know it's just a big neon sign saying "crippled freaks need not apply", even if that sentence is followed by some fake ass fluff about you being an equal opportunity employer. Like you would not be insisting your underpaid cashiers be able to "make eye contact and understand body language" if you cared about not discriminating against disabled people, that wording specifically is straight out of the DSM-5, what you're doing is fucking obvious and pure goddam evil.

The best part too is then you get denied for SSI benefits because you "can" work, they don't actually care that every single job listing is tailor made to tell us to fuck right off. The potential to be able to work and actually being able to be hired are too different things entirely but sure. I can work. If I find an employer that doesn't care that I'm in a wheelchair and can't make eye contact or life heavy objects or that I need to only work 4 hours a day so I still have the energy to take care of myself outside of work and also have to take 10 days a month off for doctor's appointments and unpredictable health flares. And also crucially does NOT require a fucking degree or drivers license. Find me a job like that that and I'd be overjoyed to work.

But trust me, jobs that can accommodate me simply do not fucking exist, and unfortunately for all of us that is very much by design.

Masterpost for Bill "Goldilocks" Cipher fic

If you're new here, this is one of those fics where Bill comes back in a human body and is imprisoned in the Mystery Shack until the Pines & friends can figure out how to kill him (which they won't, because this is also a "Bill's redeemed through the power of improbable friendship" fic). The "Goldilocks" is because the Pines need a code name other than "Bill Cipher" to call their prisoner, and Bill liked Mabel's suggestion best.

For all my fic, art, doodles, upcoming scene excerpts, and posts about characterization & plot plans, see my #bill goldilocks cipher tag.

New chapter every Friday, 5pm CST-ish!

For just the fic itself, here are all the current chapters:

⛓️ 1 Part 1. Bill returns, in a bedsheet toga.

⛓️ 1 Part 2. Bill tries to murder the Stans & Soos (with time travel).

⛓️ 2. Dipper and Mabel save the day (with time travel).

⛓️ 3. A tense evening as the Pines prepare to get rid of Bill.

⛓️ 4. Plot twist: the Pines physically can't get rid of Bill.

⛓️ 5. The gang goes to a diner at 3 a.m. for hostage negotiations.

⛓️ 6. Bill escapes from Theraprism.

⛓️ 7. "How'd Bill get here" flashback; plus, entering his new prison.

💇‍♀️ 8. Bill gives himself a haircut and depression.

💇‍♀️ 9. Bill & Ford grudgingly have a sincere conversation; regret it.

💇‍♀️ 10. The kids decide Bill won't ruin their summer. Also: Pacifica!

🧚 11. Mabel gives Bill the most beautiful makeover ever. (It's not.)

🧚 12. Pacifica advertises Harry's Hairy Fairy Formula. Bill wants it.

🧚 13. Pacifica refuses to share; the twins discover its side effects.

🧚 14. Mabel wins Bill's eternal friendship with arts & crafts.

💭 15. Bill, Ford, and Dipper have nightmares that are Bill's fault.

💎 16. Ford has a fun day with Mabel but everything goes wrong.

💎 17. The day goes right again thanks to healthy communication.

🐿️ 18. Mabel's Guide To Local Animals, co-starring Bill Cipher.

🧊 19. Wendy snoops into the weird things happening in the shack.

🧊 20. Wendy meets the weird thing (it's Bill).

🎂 21. Stan & Ford's birthday party! Bill gives evil gifts.

💭 22. Bill "helps" Dipper's nightmares; no one knows his motive.

👁️ 23. Bill's ex is back in town and nobody's happy about it.

👁️ 24. Everyone's even less happy to learn Bill has a sex life.

🧿 25. Mabel and Bill make friendship bracelets! :)

🧿 26. The Pines take Bill to the mall. He wears terrible things.

🧿 27. Bill breaks Mabel's heart (and panics to fix it).

🏳️‍🌈 28. Bill talks his way into going with Wendy to Rainbow Club.

🎃 29. Bill contacts the Henchmaniacs on Summerween morning.

🎃 30. Costume making. Mabel pries into Bill's past, with crayons.

🎃 31. The Trickster's pals trick-or-treat; and Bill terrifies Dipper.

🪮 32. Dipper & Mabel make a poppet to control Bill.

🦷 33. Stan takes Bill to the dentist. In handcuffs.

🦷 34. Dentist & tooth fairy attack. Stan & Bill are still handcuffed.

🦷 35. Bill & Stan reach a painful understanding and stop the fairy.

🛁 36. Anime night; and Mabel makes Bill do community service.

🛁 37. Bill plots escape and runs into Wendy. Dipper panics.

🛁 38. Bill has the worst and stupidest day of his afterlife.

🌅 39. A cultist finds Bill; Bill tries to re-recruit Ford.

🚙 40. Gideon broadcasts car commercials; invokes Bill's wrath.

🚙 41. Bill apologizes for bullying Gideon. lol no he blackmails him.

🌕 42. Bill tells Dipper secrets of the universe; predicts an eclipse.

🌖 43. Gravity is disappearing; Ford and Fiddleford investigate.

🌗 44. Ford & Dipper drag Bill hiking; Bill faces his death.

🌘 45. Ford demands answers Bill can't give as totality looms.

🌑 46. Totality. Bill decides whether Ford lives or dies.

🌒 47. Bill feels rotten but finally explains the eclipse.

🌓 48. Bill has a complete mental breakdown.

🌔 49. The gang limps home. (Plus: a second dimensional eclipse.)

💿 50. Bill finally processes that mental breakdown.

💿 51. Dipper and Mabel try to remember the Axolotl's poem.

📖 52. The gang reads Flatworld. Bill isn't thrilled.

📖 53. Mabel tries to get Bill to talk about his home world.

⚛️ 54. Dipper, Ford, and Fiddleford do paradox physics.

📖 55. Mabel learns college-level geometry.

📖 56. Mabel & Bill have fun; Dipper & Ford prepare for murder.

💀 57. The execution of Bill Cipher.

💀 58. Everything you wondered about how Bill escaped.

💀 59. Everything you didn't wonder about how Bill escaped.

💀 60. Everything you never imagined about how Bill escaped.

📙 62. Soos vacuums the attic (wow exciting)

📙 63. Soos decides how he feels about Bill's treatment.

📙 64. Fixin it with Soos: home redecorating!

⛓️ 6. If you read ch 6 before TBOB, go read it again because I wrote a new ch 6!

COMING IN UNCERTAIN ORDER: 🪐 61. The Axolotl Finds The Second Dimension's Corpse.

65. The gang makes plans for the night.

We've started crossposting to AO3 but I've got too many things on my to-do list to overhaul the masterpost, come back later.

This post was last updated August 16, 2024! If you're seeing this post as a reblog and it's been a while since then, check back on the original post to see if more's been added!

Chores

7 omorashi challenges to make certain chores more fun

1. Before you go to the grocery store, drink a lot of water. You’re not allowed to pee until you get back home.

2. Wait to clean the bathroom until you’re super desperate.

3. Make a list of all the chores you have to do and drink a glass of water after each one is done.

4. Wash your dishes in warm water while desperate.

5. Drink a lot of water before putting your laundry in. You’re not allowed to pee until all of it is done and put away.

6. Clean while desperate and instead of listening to music listen to water noises.

7. Before your morning pee, you have to make your bed perfectly.

Saving 4 a friend

Sims 4 page on Steam. Not to be controversial but I think the CEO of EA should be beheaded for this

HI ROTTMNT REQUEST!!!

can we get donnie and an s/o (either male or gn take ur pick) who is also autistic, but with an “opposite” special interest? like with how Donnie’s sp/in is tech and science, his s/o is major into the arts. they want to know everything there is to do with theater and poetry and visual art and music and any art form they can get their hands on. maybe they try to draw on Donnie (with permission) or ask to do makeup on him. they might wanna perform a song or a poem they wrote for him. idk just take this and run <3

As a person with ADHD who is constantly hyperfixating on art (and the turtles) this will be fun LMAO)

ROTTMNT DONNIE X AUTISTIC! GN! READER

When you had told him you had autism, he was estatic, FINALLY, someone who would understand his way of thinking.

And when he found out your current hyperfixation was art? He was pretty cool with it.

Often times, you both would wear noise canceling headphones, and just chill next to each other as you did your own thing, often times he was working on some little gadget, and you were drawing something

Sometimes he would come up to you and rant about his new gadget and how it works, and afterwards you would rant about some type of art thing, like gouache paint, or random tips you found

After you had asked if you could draw him, it's all you ever drew, you drew him in different poses, his three fingered hands, the way his shell was shaped, you just loved to draw something NEW

Sometimes he would catch some drawings of you two on dates, or photos of him working at his desk, and he was so embarrassed/flustered

You like to stim with him, seeing him stim and be happy, made you happy, and made you wanna stim, wether it be flapping your hands, snapping your fingers, stomping your feet, whatever

He found your stims adorable, except the ones that accidentally hurt you, or when you seemed distressed and upset while you stimmed.

When there are days when you both are experiencing some sort of sensory overload, you both bring each other to low light rooms, find their noise cancelling headphones/earbuds, a comfort item/clothing, and a blanket and try each other's best to not touch each other, as much as you wanted to hug each other and comfort one another, you knew that touching could make it worse

You often have to remind the other to go to bed when they are way to focused on a project

He will make little gadgets and ask you to try them, and in return, he agreed to allow you to try drawing/ makeup on his face.

As much as he dislikes having something on his face, or something being near his eyeballs, he let's you, he trusts you

And my god, he becomes the most BEAUTIFUL turtle when you're done with him, and often times will wear it throughout the day, unless it starts to bother him, then you will snap a pic and he'll wash it off

He's very, not as emotional or emotional presenting due to his autism, but you? You're the exact opposite, you get so emotional, and while others may think you're being "to much" or "dramatic" Donnie will understand...to some degree

There are moments when you'll be emotional about something, and he'll understand that you are much more emotional than him, but he just doesn't really GET it if you understand

Often times, he has trouble comforting you, but he shows his support in small ways, like listening, repeating your words to show he's listening, telling you he means it when he says he cares, even if it's in the most monotone voice, and he will give you small gadgets as gifts

Will understand if you don't wanna be touched, but has a harder time when you wanna be touched (ie; cuddling, lil kisses, hugs, ect)

Often times he doesn't like to touch people unless he starts it, so when he realizes that you want to be touched, he will leave small touches, like a hand on your shoulder, patting your head, hand on your back ect

He has this little fidget cube he uses all the time, he doesn't let you touch it, but you understand, like how he won't touch your fidget toys without permission

When you first met him, you had a bit of a problem maintaining eye contact with him, or you would look at him for a brief second, before looking at something like to the left of him, or his eye brows, and he totally gets it

But when you get more comfortable with him, and make eye contact with him, it warms his heart so much

Sometimes you like to paint in monochromes of purple hues, and Everytime he questions the color choice, you always say "idk, I just like purple" this makes him flustered since purple is his color

Whenever he goes nonverbal, you respect that and often times either text each other, or write to each other, which results in you both writing in Victorian type speech, often talking about the most ridiculous things and it's the best thing ever

One time you tried to do a project with him, trying to mix each of your special interests to each other, you both thought it would be great bonding!....

Turns out, he just made a machine while you painted it, which, you both should have thought more of because he would try to tighten something and would get paint all on his hands, and he HATED the feeling of wet paint, so he would freak out, then you would get some sort of mechanical oil on you, and you HATED the feeling of oil, so you freaked out, so, yeah, you both probably should have planned it better

When he shows you his little comfort playlist, it's all 80's pop, and you find it cute, meanwhile your music all has a vibe to it, Like a Stardew Valley music type vibe, something that makes you happy (PLEASE, listen to the soundtrack for the game Stardew Valley, it's so calming and happy and it's in my comfort playlist on Spotify)

You tried to learn how to make his comfort food, but you can't cook, so you just burned the food and made it inedible, but he enjoyed the thought.

Mikey popping into his shell is so cute!

Oh mi gosh!!!

Finally drew them!!! Couldn’t wait to draw Casey and Cass!

Casey jr coming in clutch with that photo! Also I’m pretty terrible with perspective so don’t mind the errors :)))

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Wtf

WARNING!!!!

People, please be careful. There are also people tracking children and people and putting bids on them based on their profile pictures on whatsapp, tracking and kidnapping them. Especially young children, so please be cautious, especially parents who have their children as their profile pictures.

Please pass this on to everyone so that they are aware of the danger. I don’t how it is all around the world but I know it can’t just be here so please please spread the word. Thank you.

I love essays like this!

It's time to fix Logan's Scheduling Problems(TM)

@ironwoman359 had a really good post and it inspired this one because I could not stop breaking down Logan's priorities chart. I have boarded the hyperfixation express and taken it all the way down to the dreaded mathville just to think about graphs and charts. Oh dear. This is so unlike me. But the chart is so funny and they actually took a decent amount of time to think through the amounts of time spent on each task, allowing us to break down the original schedule before it was "fixed" to adjust for Roman.

So buckle up because I have double checked the math but I am very adhd and often quite a bit stupid from stress related brainfog so who fuckin knows if this is accurate.

LET'S GOOOOOOO

This is Logan's original proposed schedule which I borrowed from @ironwoman359's post:

We can see it's a nice chart, lovely and hand made which I greatly enjoy. And luckily we have numbers to work with so we can figure out exactly how much time is alotted to what based on the percentages in a 24 hour day.

And oh guess what! They're ridiculous numbers designed specifiily to allow that 0.5% for Dreams but I'll get to that in a moment.

If you're anything like me, (quite a but math stupid) those percentages don't really give enough info on how long they're actually taking for each just by looking at it. So here's the breakdown in hours because finding out how many hours each thing accounts for should give us an idea of Logan's priorities.

40% - Work (9.6 hours - oof)

33% ‐ Sleep (7.92 hours)

12.5% - Eat (3 hours)

8% - Exercize (1.92 hours)

4% ‐ General Hygene (57.6 minutes)

2% - Dental Hygene (28.8 minutes - mega oof)

0.5% - Dreams (7.2 minutes - fuckin ouch)

As we can see, Logan's chart is heavily skewed to work, sleep and eating. But these numbers are still potentially hard to understand. "Why does it say 57.6 minutes?" You might be asking. So we will round those numbers to a more understandable range because ideally we are trying to add up to 24 hours:

Work: 10

Sleep: 8 hours

Eat: 3 hours

Exercize: 2 hours

Gen. Hygene: 1 hour

Dental Hygene: 30 minutes (seriously, oof)

At this point when we round, that is 24.5 hours which already goes over so we are obligated to round one down instead of up for the sake of the 24 hours- we will round work to 9 hours 30 minutes instead of ten hours and this still leaves no room for dreams or recreation of any kind at all. We can assume this was the ORIGINAL proposed schedule before the changes. That's why he's got such weirdly specific numbers. He's alotted time specifically for dreams by taking minutes from everything except eating and work, leaving only 7-ish minutes.

Which is bullshit so let's break this down in each one to validate each choice's logic:

Work: 9 and a half hours

This is way too much. Therefore, we will snag an hour and put it aside for later and snag that other 30 minutes for breaks.

Conckusion- 8 hours for work and 30 minutes for breaks.

Number of time saved: 1 hour

Sleep: 8 hours

The recommended amount of time, we will not touch this number.

Number of time saved: N/A

Eat: 3 hours

1 hour per meal and since c!Thomas canonically rarely cooks, it is an ample amount of time to heat up something quick and enjoy the meal. We can count this number as untouchable as well.

Number of time saved: N/A

Exercise: 2 hours

This is our second potentially flexible number. It's recommended 30 minutes every day to be healthy, not two full hours so there is a potential hour and a half that could be taken here for something else. This is important.

Number of time saved: 1 hour and 30 minutes

Gen. Hygene: 1 hour

This accounts for shower time and presentability time, IE hair brushing and clothes. This is a decent amount of time and could leave room for flexibility as not everyone needs an hour, however we will leave this time to itself.

Number of time saved: N/A

Dental hygene: 30 minutes

Oh boy what the actual fuck Logan. The American Dental Association says the recommended amount of time for brushing yoir teeth is 2 minutes 2 times a day. That's 4 minutes, not 30. Then it's plus 1 minute for wetting the toothbrush and applying toothpaste, and another 2 minutes of wiggle room for a once a day flossing. Plus another minute or whatever for mouthwash or something else.

Conclusion- We will generously round this number to 10 minutes for dental hygene.

Number of time saved: 20 minutes.

That brings us to a total of 2 hours and 50 minutes for literally everything else and this is a good number. Thats almost 3 hours worth of time we can be slotting to dreams and leisure acrivities and also socializing!

So now we have it folks, we have a better understanding of why the schedule is fucked and how we can fix it to satisfy much more with this improved breakdown:

Work: 8 hours (fixed)

Sleep: 8 hours (fixed)

Breaks: 30 minutes (fixed)

Eating: 3 hours (fixed)

Exercise: 30 minutes (fixed)

General hygene: 1 hour (fixed)

Dental hygene: 10 minutes (fixed)

Dreams: 50 minutes (flexible)

Liesure: 1 hour (flexible)

Social: 1 hour (flexible)

Logan hire me to fix your schedule sir

The last place batfam would look is on batman!

How tf have I not heard of this

hey, whoever tells you transfem periods aren't a thing is a dirty liar and i'll gut them and feed them their own intestines