Saudade (A RAURA FANFIC) Part 4/6

Saudade (A RAURA FANFIC) Part 5/6

"You were just drunk right? You didn't mean for that to happen." Ross couldn't look her in the eye. Yes, he was drunk, but his feelings weren't. "At least tell me you were just messing with me, then we could all put this aside as something to laugh at a few years from now," Laura placed a hand on his arm, shaking him a little to get even the slightest reaction. But he just stood there, unmoving. With his head down, letting his blond locks dangle all over his face so she couldn't see his eyes, and how much pain there was in it because he couldn't hold back his feelings anymore. He can't keep on lying to himself. To her. "Please, Ross?" She whispers with that small desperate voice of hers that would've broken his heart, if only it weren't already. No. No more. He told himself. "I didn't know it before," he began, bringing his face up a little, glancing at her every now and then. "But ever since you became distant and started going out with Riker, I felt left out. And at first I was just worried that I might get replaced or you might forget me sooner or later. But then I realized it was more than that." He paused. Now staring at her deeply, his hurt filled eyes staring back down at her brown ones that also reflected his. "I want you, Laura, in many ways I can't because you're with my brother. My fucking brother." Laura flinched as she heard him cuss for the very first time. His head drops back down and her grip on his arm tightened as she felt him lightly shaking under her grasp and she could hear a faint sob which immediately sent tears to her eyes and broke her heart piece by piece. It hurt her to see her best friend in such state, and knowing that this was all her fault because he can't love him back. At least, not anymore. "If it was someone else I wouldn't have hesitated. I would've stolen you away from him in an instant." He lets out a short laugh. And he fell silent for a moment once again. "Why can't it be someone else? Someone I don't give a damn about?" His head jerks back up to look her, giving her a view of that things she'd done to him. How much she'd hurt her, without her realizing. She felt her heart shatter into pieces. "Why does it have to be Riker?" It was ironic how he dare asked her that, when he himself had set the two up in order for Laura to get over her feelings for him. And now he strongly regrets it. "I..." she trails off, unsure of her next words. "I used to like you, you know." She paused. "Yet you never did seem to like me back" she lets out a half hearted laugh through her sobs. "I do now," he states. "And if I could go back in time to tell you that I liked you too, I would." She smiles. Ross pressed their foreheads together, their nose lightly bumping and he could feel her breath as their lips were only an inch closer. After a few moments and their tears seemed to stop, Ross spoke again. "Do you still love me?" He whispers, moving slightly away to look into her reddened eyes and placed a hand on her cheeks caressing it lightly, wiping away the traces of her tears. If she hadn't kissed him back that night, he wouldn't have had the courage to ask her this. But she did, and he need to know what that meant. Laura leaned against his palm and closed her eyes for a moment, and Ross held his hopes up, a smile forming on his lips as he pressed their foreheads once more. Then Laura finally spoke. "I've been in love with you for years, and I've had a hard time moving on." She paused, releasing a breath she'd been holding back before removing his hand from her face as she took as step away from him. A frown went back to his face as she stared up at him, her smile completely gone. "But now I have riker." She continues. "I love him and he loves me, and I don't think bringing back my old feelings would be a good idea." She gives him a small smile. "I'm happy now, Ross." He would've grabbed her right there and then and just took her away. Call him crazy and all, but isn't that what love does to people? But how could he do something as to taking her away from the man she loves just for his own selfishness? So instead, he just forced a smile even though her words had completely broke him inside. "I'm glad to hear that," he mutters. He was, really. But he would've been happier if she had just said yes. "Thank you," she smiles warmly. The kind that would always send his heart racing. She wraps her skinny arms around his neck and his on her waist as he inhaled the sweet scent of her shampoo in her hair. "You'll find your happiness someday too, Ross" I already have. He thought She pulls away and bids him goodbye before walking away, out of his sight. Ross never realized that she had been holding his heart the entire time, until she finally lets go. ###### Ross watched as Laura took careful steps into the ocean, taking a step back before the waves fully engulfs her feet, giggling. He smiles as he finds her actions both amusing and completely adorable. Then, Riker came into view, creeping up from behind the brunette. She shrieks as she felt her boyfriend's strong arms pick her up from her waist and spun her around, dragging her into the cold water. Ross could say that somehow he was contented, even with just being able to see her smile. She was happy, and that's all that mattered to him. "I know it hurts you know," a voice spoke beside him. "Seeing them all the time, being mushy and all." Ross turns his head to find his sister seating beside him. "What do you mean?" He casually asks. Rydel smiles and shook her head lightly. "I know you like her, Ross." He wanted to lie and say he doesn't. It's what he's been doing all these years anyway. But at that time, he was tired of lying, he wanted to come clean. And his silence affirmed his sister's statement. "You know, I've been wondering," she began. "Why is it that you never told her?" He had asked himself that for quiet some time too. "I mean, you've never been a coward when it comes to girls. And it was obvious that Laura liked you even before she met us," Rydel noticed the look Ross sent her and her eyes widened a bit. She smirks. "Don't tell me you never noticed? Seriously dude" she chuckles. "You're thicker than I thought" Yeah. I guess I am. He accepts. They both continued to watch the couple as they continued chasing each other by the shore. Riker caught Laura and placed her on his shoulder and dragged her back into the ocean. He drops her down, getting her lower body soaked, and he laughs as she splashes water at him, trying to get back which sparked another war between them. After a few moments of just staring and total silence. Ross decides to break the ice. "Actually, I did." He blurts out and Rydel could only stare at him with wide eyes and mouth agape. "But she was already with Riker at that time." He adds with a shrug. "Woah, you don't plan on stealing her away from now, do you?" Ross chuckles and shook his head. "I couldn't have done it even if I wanted to. Especially since I can clearly see that she's loves him. She's happy with him." he lifted his head just in time to see the brunette laughing as Riker placed sand on her dampened hair. That's right, she's already happy with him. He thought. Rydel's heart broke upon hearing Ross' piteous confession. She felt torn between wanting to encourage her little brother to go after the girl who he has set his heart on. But that would mean hurting her older brother/best friend and possibly ruining an already perfect and stable relationship. Either way, one has to get hurt for the other to be happy. And in this case, Ross is the one hurting. "What are you going to do now?" She asks, that look of concern never left her pretty face. Ross shrugs. A tight smile formed on his lips. "The same thing I've been doing for years." He looks back at the brunette. "Pretend that I don't like her, act casual when I see them together. You know, what I have to do?" He laughed bitterly. Rydel leans in and wraps her arm around him in a consoling manner. She nods. "Yeah, that would probably be best"

Gray

The color of which i first colored you in; unsure, like the middle of black and white.

That shirt you once wore, with sweat glistening down your neck the day I realized your beauty. Looking so recklessly careless as your eyes lazily looked towards the open road.

The smoke you exhaled in my mouth with the lingering taste of strawberry on your lips as I cough out its poison.

The sweater you had me remove that one night; my soul drowning all morality and pushing everything else behind letting me completely succumb to the pleasure of your fingers tracing my skin.

The sheets I gripped as your lullaby escaped me in soft whimpers.

The feeling that I get when you're there and yet you aren't; half-empty though not entirely unfamiliar.

Predictably complicated like your half drunken thoughts and tales of fantasies I wish I'd taken a part of.

Your three am version, utterly devoid of hope; wallowing in your pit of problems from where I would always try so hard to pull you out of.

I didn't think that there'd be more to the world than just black and white.

But there was gray.

And that was you.

Piedmont will have absolutely no clue how to handle Post-Weirdmaggedon Dipper and Mabel.

The neighborhood kids play hide and seek and they’re hanging out on some random roof. You can’t beat them if you can’t reach them, suckas.

They’re outside every hour of the day. Literally. If you happen to be outside at two in the morning you might find them mid-magic hunt. Why not? Ford always said to take advantage of your insomnia for science.

Once some teenagers performing some weird Halloween hazing the Pines kids absolutely wrecked them. They literally have no chill.

For that matter, if you look Mabel in the eye, rumors say, you immediately have to play a game of cards with her. Never take pocket change anywhere near their street.

The pig goes with them. That’s final.

They say Dipper Pines has a six pack. They say he’s shredded. They saw he’s got a scar across the belly from fighting off a pack of wolves with his fists.

All the doors in the world are open if you know how to pick locks… Not that they’re saying they can. That’s implementing themselves in multiple unsolved crimes, and that would be stupid.

Feel free to add your own!

Reblog if what you ship and how you ship it is nobody’s goddamn business

Gravity Falls Dipper x Mabel Fanfic

The moonlight shines over her delicate face as the crystal-clear tears continued to flow from her shut eyes. He immediately cradled her into his arms, hoping that by his tight embrace he could somehow lessen even the least bit of her pain, and probably transfer some of it to himself.

Because he would rather feel her agony, than to see her in such state. It killed him to see her like this. So, broken and vulnerable. It was as if he was seeing his world slowly crumbling down into pieces. And she is—he would admit that; she is his world. His light. His courage. His strength. His everything.

But now she’s shattered and hurt. By someone who’d sworn to protect her, to love and care for her.

He clenched his fist as cursed under his breath. He was supposed to protect her, to keep her from getting hurt. He was supposed to be her hero, and yet this time, he couldn’t do anything to save her.

She continued to weep, with her faced buried in his chest, clinging to him with the same amount of intensity as his embrace.

He wasn’t sure how long they sat there in each other’s arms on the carpeted floor. He never even realized that they’d fallen asleep, not until he opens his eyes and sees her beside him, with her head resting on his numbed arm and her hand gripping his shirt as if she was afraid that he’d leave if she let go.

With his free hand, he swept the strand of hair falling on her peaceful sleeping face and kept it behind her ear. A warm smile crept on his face. He observed her, watching as her body rose and fell at a slow pace. With the side of his index finger, he lightly touched her lashes, admiring how long they were. He poked her nose and held a chuckle when it twitched.

But then his smile immediately turn into a frown as his eyes landed on the blackening mark on Mabel’s neck.

Nineteen years. For nineteen years, they’ve shared almost everything and witnessed every significant event in each other’s lives. They were together through all the ups and downs life had to offer them. Clearly he wasn’t joking when he said that she wouldn’t face the world alone.

And for nineteen years he watched as several men entered Mabel’s life, leaving scars and bruises with every departure. Breaking her once pure and innocent heart little by little. Through the years he desperately tried to protect her, so much that he forgot to care for his own romantic life. He’s never had a girlfriend, and for that reason people would make up stories about him being homosexual and such, but he didn’t care. He had his priorities set straight, and it was to make Mabel Happy.

And so, he tried to search for the perfect guy for her, one who would never wrong her like the previous ones. Someone who would love her like he does.

He scared and threatened (or at least he tried to) every boy she brings home. He never trusted any of them. He always tries to find a flaw in their seemingly perfect façade and expose them, sending them away for good. And then, one august night as He, Mabel, and his best friend Steven were watching movies in the Pines’ household living room, he noticed a certain look his best friend shared with Mabel. He shrugged it away, thinking that he was only imagining things. Steven had known Mabel since the seventh grade, and he doesn’t seem to like her in a romantic kind of way.

But alas, he wasn’t mistaken. The budding romance Mabel and Steven shared now grew into solid relationship, and Dipper was happy to finally see Mabel in the arms of a man who would never hurt her.

Or so he’d thought.

If only he’d seen through his best friend’s tactics; if only he’d suspected him more and didn’t give him his full trust just because they’re best friends; if only he’d been more careful.

Then Mabel wouldn’t suffer like this.

“Why…” He murmured as he held back the tears that were forming on the edge of his eyes. “Why is it that no matter how much I try, It’s just not enough?” A short hic escaped his mouth, causing Mabel to awoken.

Her eyes fluttered open, and his heart ached even more as he saw how red and puffy her eyes were. A concerned look was immediately strewn across her face. “D-dipper? What’s wrong?” her soft hand reached out to cup his cheek.

Dipper shut his eyes closed as he pictured the image of his best friend and every other guy who had broken Mabel’s heart, lying on the cold hard ground, all beaten up with bruises marked their bodies. He was growing mad with anger.

“I-I’m sorry…” He whispered. “I’m so sorry” he whispered again, his voice cracking as he finally burst into tears. He quickly pulled Mabel into an embrace, muttering sorry over and over again.

“Dipper…” Tears began edging her eyes as she ran her hand across his back, attempting to calm him.

“I should’ve protected you,” He muffled. “I should’ve protected you but I…I wasn’t there. I’m so, so sorry,”

“Shh,” By this time, tears flowed freely down her cheeks. But she tried to calm herself, she needs to be strong for him, for them. “It’s not your fault. It’s not…” she tries to continue, but the lump on her throat made it hard for her to speak. Instead, her cries said the words that she could no longer utter.

I want out

The pinnacle of giving everything up,

was not something that I thought I would ever reach.

The pain and frustration had exceeded its threshold that the thought of my efforts be put into waste

I no longer deemed regretful.

It was a mistake to have you know that the limit of my patience was non existent

For it gave you the sense of security that I would always take you back.

And so, it became an endless cycle.

Our happiness fluctuated ever so often.

Eventually it started to wear me out.

The fire within me started to fade.

So you began to ruin yourself again.

You made the rain and thunder of your storms much stronger

The noise you had inside your head became louder and intolerable

You cut yourself bleeding just because you know were going to lose me.

And by doing so, you know I would come back.

For I have always been drawn to those broken souls.

And I have always saved you from all the chaos you started

But love, I hope you know that each time you lose me,

I’m not the same person who comes back.

And time will come when all the love in me

would become nothing but pity.

Notes from the past

“It’s sad really, how I’ve been staring at this blank sheet of paper with a pen in hand but nothing to write about. I used to be able to write down anything, anything at all that comes into mind and it would turn out into this beautiful art in form of simple words. Yet now I can’t seem to find the will to do so. My mind’s too caught up in the thought of how everything just ended without a proper closure. No words, no explanation, you just decided that you didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore and it fucking wrecks me that my mind is too consumed of you that it wouldn’t let in any other thoughts other than the words you said and the promises you made.

It could’ve been my fault, for always making you feel jealous in order to satisfy my own insecurities and make sure that you were truly afraid of losing me. Yet even though I have proven that you were, leading to the point that sometimes you’d get mad at me, I still kept at it. And maybe you got fed up and thought that I was the one who’s not faithful in this so called “relationship” and gave up, just when I was about to accept the fact that you were really telling the truth, that you really do love me. But I do hope you understand, that after being hurt so many times in my life, I’ve had trouble putting my trust in people. Nevertheless I’ve realized my mistakes now, and it breaks me to think that after all this time I’ve put you through so much shit until you couldn’t take it anymore. And maybe I’m already too late, that these efforts won’t change your mind and come back to me again. But on the other hand, maybe it was you who was at fault, by lying to me, when you said ‘I love you’ and all those things you said that made it seem like you mine and only mine.

Maybe you weren’t really mine in the first place and this was all just a game for you to entertain yourself. To fill the void in your heart and make you feel less lonely. That I was a mere substitute because you couldn’t go after the girl that you really love. Maybe that’s why I could sometimes see and feel as if it wasn’t me you were looking at, it wasn’t me you were holding, that you had someone else in mind.

Maybe I meant nothing to you.

I fucking hate saying maybe, what if, thinking if I had done this or that would it change anything. If we had just been honest with each other. If we had properly used our words and listened to each other rather than just blindly assuming things based on our biased intuition, to be honest if we really love each other… or not, everything would’ve been much better.”

-Letters to no one.

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