Imzemo - ??

Takeout Box

** this came to me in a fever dream and now y'all have to read it too**

Jason wasn’t entirely sure what to do. There was a large cardboard box on his doorstep, and not only was it faintly glowing green, it was also rattling and making muffled noises. He considered the possibility of Ivy, Harley, and Selina dropping off a box of feral cats, but surely they wouldn’t target Jason “Peters”, right?

With most strange doorstep boxes, he might have called for backup immediately. In fact, he ought to call for this box, especially with the sticky note on top. “Caution- May Bite”

It couldn’t be a bomb, what with the shaking and the noises.

Jason’s ears caught the sounds of his next door neighbor moving around their apartment, and he made up his mind. He could call the other bats after the suspicious box was out of the open.

With great care, he slipped on his oven mitts (better safe than sorry) and gingerly began pulling the box inside. It was heavier than he’d been expecting, but not more than he could handle by himself, which he thanked some unseen deity for. The movement stilled to a whisper almost as soon as the first edge of the box cleared the doorway, and the noises also calmed down some.

Once he’d gotten the box far enough into the apartment to close the door, he began circling it, looking for more identifying markings. He found himself sorely disappointed- the only visible symbols belonged to the note.

Three distinct knocks sounded from the box, nearly scaring Jason out of his skin.

“Hello?”

Three knocks again.

“Is someone- in there?”

Three knocks, more urgent this time.

Well. Fuck.

“Okay, okay, just, be still a moment?”

Carefully, one hand still protected by an oven mitt, Jason dug out a knife and slid it shallowly through the tape holding the box together. With the other hand he reached into his pocket for his phone to tap out an emergency code.

At least one bat would be coming through his window within fifteen minutes, and Jason could hold out until then if the person was hostile, but he wasn’t leaving someone trapped in a box.

He pulled the flaps open to reveal not one, but two dark haired children bound and gagged, curled up around each other. The one on the left growled a little around the gag, only for the other one to bump purposefully into them in reproach.

“Holy shit.”

Crap. No. Cursing around kids was bad. Bad Jason.

In a stroke of stupidity, he reached down and undid the gag on the growly one first, only to find sharp teeth digging into his hand after he pulled the piece of cloth away.

“Hey! No, stop that! Fuck, kid, I’m trying to help!”

The other kid made a small noise, and Bitey let go. Jason grimaced, but moved so that he could undo the other gag.

Calm took several deep breaths once the gag was off, and Jason wondered how, exactly, the kids had been breathing up until he opened the box. Their noses hadn’t been covered, but- Cardboard boxes were not conducive to breathing.

Instead of asking questions, Jason busied himself untying the kids, taking care not to let his hands go near Bitey’s mouth again. He figured he could ask questions while he found all the knots.

“So- what’s your story?”

Calm snickered.

“You’re bad at this.”

With a shrug, Jason tugged another knot loose. He didn’t want to use a knife this close to the kids. Kids were wiggly, right?

“Well, pardon me for not expecting a pair of kids at my front door.”

“I’m Danny and she’s Ellie. We were told that we’d find family here.”

“Who told you that?”

Now that the two were free, they looked at each other. Bitey- no, Ellie, was the first to speak up.

“CW did. Just so you know, no returns or refunds, the receipt was lost the moment you brought us inside.”

Danny smacked Ellie on the side of the head.

“He doesn’t have to keep us, Ellie. We can find some empty house to live in or something if he doesn’t want to. CW said we just had to live here for a few years, nothing about having a guardian.”

“Danny, we’re eight.”

Jason was about to ask who this ‘CW’ was, but Danny continued planning to live homeless in Gotham.

“We’ll just leave this haunt- you can feel it, he doesn’t want us here. Surely the Lady will shelter us until CW comes to pick us up.”

Ellie reached up to scratch at the back of her neck, and Jason could see a rash blooming on her arm. When he looked over at Danny, who was still muttering about asking for sanctuary in Gotham, the boy also had a flush of red rash spreading across his face.

There must be an allergen in the box.

“Let’s- get out of the box. And get you two wiped down for irritants.”

Danny shrugged and scratched at his own skin.

“It’s your haunt- we can’t be here if you don’t want us here. Well, we can, but it hurts.”

“My apartment hurts you?”

Ellie nodded, sitting on her hands to keep from scratching herself.

“It stopped when you brought the box inside, but- well.”

The two helped each other stand and clamber out of the box. Once they were no longer touching the glowing cardboard, it disappeared, leaving behind the sticky note. Ellie scooped it up, showed it to Danny, who shrugged, and then stuffed it in her mouth.

Jason startled.

“Hey! That’s evidence!”

“Goop now,” said Ellie, still chewing.

Danny took Ellie’s hand and started pulling her towards the door, and Jason could see even more of the bright red rash on the back of the boy’s legs.

“We’ll get out of your hair, Avenger. Sorry to drop in.”

“Danny!”

Ellie dug her heels in.

“It’s safer here! CW said it would be- even,” her voice dropped low, and her eyes darted around a little. “Even Dan said the Avenger would be safe. And if Dan said it-“

Jason decided to circle around and stop the kids before Danny pulled his sister out the door.

“Why would it be safer here with me?”

“Because you’re like us.” Danny and Ellie spoke at the same time.

To Jason’s extreme relief, Nightwing slid in through the window in the apartment kitchen just in time to have heard the kids.

“How is he like you?” Dick was smiling widely, but Jason could see the tension beneath the smile.

“He died and came back different.”

Dick’s smile instantly dropped, and the room went silent. Jason stared at the kids, and the kids stared resolutely back. They hadn’t turned to look at Dick at all, not even when he had spoken.

He could see the rashes start to recede, first from Ellie (sue him, he liked that she bit) and then Danny.

“I’m telling B.”

“Don’t you dare, Dickhead. I’ll tell him he’s got grandkids myself.”

The kids looked at each other and then back up to Jason.

“You’re keeping us?” Ellie’s voice was small, and her tone was different from anything Jason had heard from her so far.

With a firm nod, Jason patted their shoulders, turning them to face inside the apartment instead of the door.

“Sure. Us undead have to stick together, you know?”

Danny's rogues have been spreading a little misinformation.

In their defense, it was really funny.

They've been spreading the word via Ouija boards, seances, and any other attempt to speak with the dead that Phantom is the High King of Ghosts.

Except that position doesn't really exist.

Sure, they called Pariah Dark the King of Ghosts, but that was at his own request.

The Infinite Realms are vast, with many different cultures and lands, and there are a lot of Kings. It's not a special title, honestly, it's just the title used to delegate who, in a culture, has to put up with talking to the Observants.

So they decided to get the little shit back for stopping them from playing in the Living world. They're just tryna have fun!

And destroy stuff.

But destroying stuff is fun!

As is telling a shit ton of flesh puppet idiots that Phantom, that scrawny kid, is the "High King" of the Realms.

This resulted in him constantly getting summoned to cult summonings, running him ragged and giving them, his rogues, more time to play.

But uh.

Ember is starting to think they may have fucked up.

Because babypop just broke down into a sobbing, heaving panic attack at the sight of her.

She manages to get out of him that he hasn't slept in three days.

And like.

He's half living?

He's supposed to sleep more than that?

Yeah they fucked up.

Ugh.

She's gonna have to go talk to them, isn't she?

So that's how a meeting between Justice League and Justice League Dark gets interrupted by the ghost of a rock star, with a living teenager having one of the worst panic attacks any of them have seen in awhile cradled in her arms, asking Justice League Dark to invent an amulet that prevents Summonings.

Landlord Jason, with runaway Danny shenanigans:

I like to headcanon that Jason is afraid of dating due to his anger issues that came from the Lazarus waters, so he acts out the persona of a serious landlord who tries his best to play the part of being hard to get (his doing a shit job at it, he has read too many romantic books). And Danny who ran away from Amity Park, because he got nothing to lose, is just looking at him with hearts for eyes and flirts with him at every opportunity.

Danny: I think I just figured something out. I got to go. Jason: Aren't you forgetting something? Danny: Uuh…hesitantly kisses Jason's forehead before running out. Jason: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

Danny : Jason is playing hard to get. Danny : Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

Danny : This date is boring! Jason: This isn't a date. I said I was going to the store. Danny : Then why did you invite me? Jason: I didnt, I specifically said "don't come with me," then you said, "fuck you Jason I'll do whatever I want!

Danny : Crushes are the worst. Whenever I’m near mine, I start acting stupid. Jason: You always act stupid. Jason: Jason: Wait…

Danny : How do I tell Jason that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée? Jason, who was about to enter the entrance of the lobby: ....

Danny : I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Jason: Damn, that sounds like a marriage proposal. Danny , getting down on one knee: That's 'cause it is.

Jason: Are you trying to seduce me? Danny : Why, are you seducible?

Danny : Are we fighting or flirting? Jason: I'm pinning you against a wall with my hand around your neck- Danny : Your point?

Jason: I feel like doing something stupid. Danny : I’m stupid, do me.

Danny, trying to flirt with Jason: I think both of our families suck.

Wait! This isn't my House DP x DC

In which Danny's habit of fiddling with all the guns and weapons left in every conceivable nook and cranny of the Fenton household lead to a very awkward moment during his first tutoring session. Meanwhile, Jason is trying not to shit bricks.

"But it's IMPOSSIBLE to know what the author was TRYING to say!!!"

Jason watched the kid sitting across from him threw up his hands in frustration and start pacing the length of his apartment. This was the first time the skittish kid had taken Jason up on his offer to tutor English. Jason just rolled his eyes when he found out Danny's essay was due tomorrow and let him in.

Jason owned all the rooms adjacent to his main safe house, so he was surprised to spot the kid stepping out of the apartment below his a few weeks ago. No matter what Jason tried, Danny Nightingale was a big mystery, but he was definitely running from something.

"The whole point of the essay isn't to figure that out."

"That's literally the assignment!!! Word for word!" Danny huffed then flopped onto the worn couch with his arms crossed.

Jason got up from the stool at the kitchen counter and joined Danny in the armchair by the coffee table. "The point of the essay isn't to figure that out. It's to show that you know how to make a claim and support it. That's it. Most teachers don't care what you argue, so long as you show that it is a possible interpretation."

"Then why didn't anybody ever just say that?!" Danny seemed to be having an epiphany while constipated. "I've been pulling my hair out because I actually read the book and wanted to do it right this time! And you're saying I could have just said 'green symbolizes golf or unicorns or something' and called it a day?"

Jason laughed. "In a way, yeah. It's an unobtainable dream so Gatsby is basically chasing something that doesn't exist. A metaphorical unicorn hunt."

"I hate everything."

Jason tried not to laugh.

"I don't care. I'm not going to write about that stupid green light. Not after all that."

"Okay. Then let's look at something else." Jason decided to just start talking about different aspects of the book. It wasn't often he actually got to talk to anybody about literature and he could see a spark of interest and consideration taking root in the boy's eyes.

"The Great Gatsby is also a rare example where the main character isn't the protagonist of the story."

Danny fidgeted in place, having trouble sitting still despite paying attention. His hands wandered over the couch cushions, playing with seams and picking at one of the older stains. Jason hadn't had the chance to clean up properly, and the kid was getting uncomfortably close to-

Jason watched in horror as the kid's hand reached between the cushions and pulled out a full magazine. Jason froze, waiting for the inevitable freak out, running through the possible excuses.

Instead, Danny checked how full it was and tapped absently at one of the rubber bullets, his brow furrowed in thought. "How can the main character not be the protagonist? Don't they mean the same thing?"

Sweat pricked on back. Had someone found out his identity? Red Hood's weakness for kids had eventually leaked. Was this a trap? A threat? Was the kid sent by someone? Jason forced his hand not to reach for the gun tucked in the hidden pocket on the side of the armchair.

"He's actually mostly a spectator or a lens through which we see the story play out."

It was Crime Alley. Someone owning a gun wasn't that crazy. As long as he didn't find any of the hidden pockets that he kept the weapons in, he could play it off.

"But wait... doesn't he actively hide Daisy and Gatsby's relationship from the husband guy? And he does other stuff."

They continue to talk and Danny's wandering hands pull out every weapon he had stashed in the couch without reacting to any of it. Various knives and magazines that were clearly for almost a dozen different types of gun were all looked over for a few moments, then placed back or set out on the coffee table in a line.

Jason cleared his throat and continued the conversation barely aware of what he was saying by the time the kid withdrew one of his spare pistols from the hidden pocket on the underside of the couch.

Danny's hands ran over the surfaces, flicking the safety and pulling out the magazine, checking the chamber while he asked another question.

The next thing Jason knew, the gun was completely disassembled. Every piece scattered across the table

Danny stareed at the ceiling in concentration while his hands are moving and dismantling the gun. Within seconds, it's completely disassembled across the coffee table.

Jason was in awe. He did that faster anyone he'd ever scene except himself and a few other gun specialists, and he did it without even looking. What life was this kid running away from to have enough skill that it looked like a goddamned fidget toy instead of a weapon.

"No. In the context of the Great Gatsby, F. Scott Fitzgerald isn't the author. Nick Carraway is. Sort of like how the Lord of the Rings is an Autobiography by Frodo."

"Sorry to interrupt, but you have to tell me what oil you use. This thing is smooth as butter. Though you might have to double check your sight alignment on this one. I think it's a bit off."

Jason stared.

Danny looked at him expectantly. Then his eyes followed Jason's stare.

"Oh shit!" Danny's eyes widen in horror and exactly what was in his hand. "I'm so sorry! Habit just kind of took over. I shouldn't have messed with your gun without asking."

That was not the problem here!

The kid reassembled the gun in a blur, tucking it securely back in it's hidden alcove along with everything else he'd left out on the table.

Face tinged red, he turned back to Jason. "So Nick is the author, so he's also an 'unreliable narrator.'"

Jason doesn't know how he got through the rest of the discussion, but by the end of it, they threw together a solid outline and gathered several quotes that would work.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Jason. I couldn't have done this without you." The kid was positively glowing with pride over Jason helping him make a couple notes. "Would... would it be okay if I came back if I have trouble again?"

"Sure kid. This was actually a lot of fun. I got to relax. Nobody wants to talk to me about books anymore." And surprisingly, it really was true. He couldn't remember he'd been this calm or the pit waters had been this quiet. Maybe there was something to that 'art is therapy' junk after all.

"I can see that when you look like fridge and smell like a sewer." The kid dashed off before Jason could ruffle his hair or

"Hey-!" Jason shouted but he was already gone.

Jason pulled out the gun the kid had messed with. It was perfectly assembled and just as he said, the sights were indeed slightly off. Looks like Jason would have to call in the big guns.

Pulling out his phone, he grudgingly dialed the number. This was going to cost him. "Yo Timberly, I need your help and you can't tell Bruce."

Danny bounced down the sidewalk on his way to the library to type up his paper. Who knew having somebody actually explain things

Danny's face heated at how inconsiderate he'd been. He was amazed Mr. Jason was okay with him coming back after he'd made such a fool of himself. He'd never done anything like that before. Sam and Tuck hadn't cared if he stripped down the Fenton Bazooka while talking.

His mo- Maddie could get really possessive when he'd accidently mess with her guns. Of course he should have asked first. Wait, he was missing something.

Danny foot caught his ankle when something obvious clicked into place and almost face planted. He grabbed his hair in both his hands. "Ancients! That's not my house!"

I wrote this as a reblog for someone's concept, and Tumblr ATE IT!!! Then I absolutely could not find the original post. It's been a few weeks, and I did the best to recreate some of it, but I'm getting frustrated. This is what you get. Take it or leave it.

Found it! Inspired by this post: here!

🔪

owch

Don't you worry about my pronouns. My pronouns are pretty standard. Worry about my adverbs. My most frequent ones are "omniously", "haphazardly" and "obliviously".

Back at it again with the dp x dc prompt

(If u want to do something with it, feel free)

So this is set a looooooong time after the show. Sam and Tucker r now ghost (they do look like teenagers but wether that’s bc that’s how they want to look or if they died young is up to u) and while Danny is still a halfa he spends more time dead than alive these days since everyone he cares about is long dead.

Anyway, after several centuries they finally manage to get through the mountain of back logged paper work from pariah’s time as king (and yes, technically Danny, as the king, was the only one who had to do that but he guilt tripped the others into helping) and they decided they deserved a vacation!

More than that they deserve to have fun!

So they come up with a bet,

All three of them would each choose a villain to be the sidekick of. Which villain they choose is up to them but it has to be in the same city. The goal? Get ur boss arrested without blowing ur cover!!

The rules:

The villain can not suspect ur working against them

The Heroes can not suspect ur helping them

Avoid civilian casualties as much as possible (their morals r a bit skewed after being dead for centuries but they would like to avoid a pissed off ghost is they can)

Ur time start as soon as they split to find their new bosses and ends so soon as the villain is caught.

U r allowed to escape from jail/police custody/the heroes if ur boss isn’t caught yet

Once the villain is caught u have to hand urself in and wait for everyone else to be done

The first person to get their boss caught get bragging rights

The last person to get their boss caught has to explain any time line fuck ups they might have caused by doing this to clockwork

With the rules set they just have to find the right city and hey would u look at that, there’s a mass brake out in Arkham right now. Gotham is really the best place for the game bc not only does it have a lot of villains it also has a lot of heroes so it’s more even since they will all have at least one hero gunning for their boss at all times.

Starting the clock the three set off. Sam, immediately, chooses Poison Ivy, for obvious reasons. Tucker chooses Riddler, he knows tech to well it would be easy for him to sabotage any death traps without it looking like sabotage. Danny on the other hand is torn. He was originally thinking to go with Dr Freeze bc ice core but he kinda sympathises with the guy. He just trying to save his wife and as a protector spirit, he can respect that and would feel awful to sabotage him. He than thinks maybe two face because he is also a guy with two faces but comes across a similar problem of sympathising with the guy (again, morals have been skewed after being dead for so long)

But there is one villain he has no sympathy for. One villain that isn’t just no matter ur morals and to boot, his whole shtick is something Danny hates with a burning passion.

That’s right, Danny picks Joker.

With bosses picked and sidekick roles achieved. The game is on!!!

Later that night sees shenanigans a penalty, a couple jail brakes on Danny’s parts (Joker stops thinking it’s funny after seeing his incompetant new sidekick cheerily runs up to him after the third jail brake) and the bats slowly loading their fucking minds wondering who the hell these kids r, where they came from and how tf does the Joker kid keep escaping????

Jason and Bruce mini comic

-

If you couldn’t tell, I’m not used to drawing Bruce. Anyway, winter break is almost up, hopefully I can still post💔🥲

Humans are Space Orcs “Action Without Order.”

Here is a story to answer a couple of plot questions and requests you guys have been giving me. I hope you like it :). If you have any questions , or ideas feel free to ask!

This wasn’t good, this wasn’t good at all. Captain Vir Stood facing them, as the two Military MPs pulled his hands behind his back locking the energy cuffs around his wrists. Krill stepped in to stop Sunny as she took a step forward eyes wide with confusion and worry.

From where he stood flanked by two massive MPs, the Captain lifted his head, “It’ll be alright, Sunny, Krill, this is just a mistake….. It will be alright.” Despite the reassuring smile on his face, his single eye was wide with worry, the usually blushed human skin of his face had turned white. Though he did not struggle against the arms that held him, he did struggle against something more internal.

“What are the charges?” Sunny demanded. Looking up, the two MPs stared at her in immense distrust and readiness, “I said, what are the charges?” She demanded her looming height casting a shadow. “Don’t you humans have laws for this sort of thing!”

“Sunny, calm down, let them speak.” He turned to look at the MPs who had gone from wary to calm and collected.

“Adam Vir, Captain in the USPC Space Corpse, you are hereby charged with the unlawful divulgence of state secrets, the harboring of non-military personnel aboard a military ship, action without order, and the harboring of an enemy agent. Your court martial trial will be held in one month’s time to refute this counts before UN representatives and Military council. Your rights, if you do not know them will be read to you at your request.”

“I know my rights”, Vir whispered before looking to Sunny and Krill, “Contact the crew, tell them what’s going on. I’m going to need them, and don’t worry about me, I’ll be just fine. Keep your heads, and don’t get into any trouble. Follow the signs back to the LA Interplanetary terminal and show them your passes that will get you back to the moon. You can call the rest of the crew from there. Please stay safe.” They were dragging him off now pulling him in increments to the armored vehicle parked off to the side hovering with its glowing blue power source underneath.

Sunny stepped forward again, and Krill stopped her again, “No Sunny, You’ll only make it worse.”

Captain Vir was pushed into the back of the truck sitting down with his hands cuffed behind his back. He looked up from where he was sitting, the smile had dropped from his face.

***

Keep reading