My Transmasc Experience Was Being Fine Being Seen As A Girl But Growing Up And Hating The Idea Of Being

it really is convenient that when people want to erase and minimize the danger that trans mascs face there's suddenly never a middle step between being pre-everything and being fully transitioned and perfectly passing, and trans mascs are always conveniently the safest one in every situation.

trans mascs have "afab privilege" because at any given moment they could just pretend to be a conventionally feminine cis woman for safety (which as we know has no associated trauma or danger to it whatsoever).

and of course trans mascs Also have male privilege, because at any given moment they can Only be read as cis men so long as they don't disclose that they're trans (because it's So Easy for trans people to be gender conforming to everyone's standards 100% of the time with no risk of being outed, obviously).

there's never a thought given towards what happens to trans mascs who are somewhere in between or who present one way in the wrong situation.

what happens to the trans masc who's been on T for 10 years who's visibly pregnant? who needs to escape an abusive situation? are they supposed to just perfectly pass as a cis woman to never experience transphobia and get the help that they need? is that their afab privilege at work?

what happens to people who are too masculine to pee in women's restrooms without the risk of getting harassed (or potentially arrested or murdered) but too feminine to risk getting clocked in the men's restrooms? is it male privilege to be afraid of what might happen to you no matter where you go?

and what happens to the fully transitioned trans mascs who don't Want to be masculine, who don't Want to be gender conforming? what happens to the trans mascs who are pre-everything who don't Want to be feminine?

are trans mascs supposed to just conform to whatever gender people Think they should be regardless of how they feel about it forever? and then what, disappear in the middle and come back when they're "Basically Cis Men" ?

what if you don't Want top surgery? what if you don't Want bottom surgery? what if you Can't do hrt for health or safety or money reasons? are you supposed to just suffer forever and choose the safest way to present and call it Privilege?

and none of this is Only relevant to trans mascs, of course it's not.

but trans mascs never get spoken about like we're visibly trans or visibly gnc (unless it's to make fun of us for having huge tits and wanting to go by he/him). and That's what erasure is. to pretend like our experiences do not exist and insist that we don't Deserve help or community because we Obviously have it so easy.

my brain is awesome just legitimately googled “how to have fun” brother we are cooked

buying four things that are about sixteen dollars adds up to over sixty dollars. that doesn't make any sense they are each sixteen dollars (small price) and it is only four (small amount) they should not make over sixty dollars (big cost) this is why the economy is in shambles

“We hope this email finds you well” babe, the only emails I hope find me well are the ones from Archive of Our Own

me: you literally have a disorder. this is symptoms

me: no perhaps my soul is rotten

Literal definition of spyware:

Also From Microsoft’s own FAQ: "Note that Recall does not perform content moderation. It will not hide information such as passwords or financial account numbers. 🤡

It makes me sad that most people around me are so unbelievably burnt out from work and life that they are just truly emotionally unavailable and don't even wanna use their energy for anything beside going out partying once a weekend

It's like watching friends who you've seen be silly and have deep talks work jobs to the point of stress where they are incoherent and respond to messages like legit 6 days later and not in a rude way but genuinely they don't have the mental capacity to do shit anymore

Working jobs and paying bills shouldn't take everything out of people to the extent it really does

Even when I'm off work and I had a shorter shift most of the time I truly have nothing left in the tank after the combo of emotions and physical labor

"your absence from historical records is hilarious" is the most vile and disturbing thing that you could say about any group of marginalized people, yet someone really thought that was okay to say about trans men. absolutely revolting.

sorry for being a husk of a person it will happen again

"you are one of gods strongest soldiers" i say, not even believing in either of those institutions