I Am Not Afraid Of Storms, For I Am Learning How To Sail My Ship.
i am not afraid of storms, for i am learning how to sail my ship.
432 words on jihye's thoughts about the antifragile album.
the hydra: starting off very strong, it's a challenge from the very first line. 'do you think i'm fragile?', jihye's credited as the sole producer & lyricist on the track. in line with the theme of the album, 'antifragile', she borrows the title from the greek myth of the lernaean hydra. for every head cut off, the hydra'll grow two more heads in its place. a very direct message to those trying to cut them down for the feminist message of 'tomboy', it's a bold declaration that future/femme are here to stay.
antifragile: their title track! for their first-ever comeback, jihye wanted to cement their voice and message and let everyone know f/f are the ones to watch. with partial production credits, it's a thrilling, upbeat earworm instrumental that sticks around in your head even if you just pass by a store playing it. the lyrics, which jihye co-wrote, are also unabashedly confident, with lines like 'i'll climb higher' showing her greed for success. even if they've been hurt in the past, it's only strengthened them.
impurities: and look, they're not perfect. they've never claimed to be- even if jihye'd like everyone in the world to think otherwise. she co-wrote this one, and for the bridge, possibly one of her favourite lyrics she's ever written, are the lines 'power stronger in adversity / i'm not afraid of the overwhelming shadow / i'll have it all, what i desire / just because it's what i am.' she's the most honest when she makes her art, and this is very much who huh jihye is.
no celestial: very, very special song to her! it's the first full song she's released that's ever been totally hers, in term of both production and lyrics. a little bit contradictory to her actual self/image, the song talks about being imperfect and embracing that, using celestial imagery. cutting off your wings, and falling down to earth with no fear, jihye personally thinks it's the song that describes f/f's the best. whenever asked what her favourite track is, it's this! no competition.
good parts: easy listening, with very straightforward lyrics. jihye's a cowriter, and one of the lines she wrote, 'everything's so blurry, but i hope it's polaroid' is a callback to one of their previous songs off i never die. self-love is easy to write about for her, because jihye loooooves herself, even the less-than-ideal parts. is it a good or bad thing if she's aware that she's not a good person all the time but chooses to keep those bad traits? who knows. she'll love herself regardless.
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"Oh, they texted first!" This is not a line said during a girls' night sleepover.
This is in the middle of a brightly-lit set with Jihye perched on an armchair, a corner and a texting app separating her from her conversation partner. She's got no idea what the crew are saying, thanks to the Airpods nestled in her ears and unfortunate lack of lip-reading talent. She hesitates before responding, typing and then backspacing.
"What should I say..." She trails, before a newfound sense of resolve steels her. "I don't know... whatever! First I'll reply."
[TO: lucky charm] hiya~ [TO: lucky charm] i'm spring breeze!
She pauses, before sending another message.
[TO: lucky charm] are you perhaps... an E?
"do i just introduce myself?"
once yebin gets the okay from the producer sitting in front of her, she double checks the earbuds plugged into her ear before chuckling and looking down at her phone screen.
[to: ??] hi, i'm lucky charm [to: ??] i'm lucky charm because i'm pretty lucky. i'll make sure you get some of that energy today as well!!!!
"is this right?" she asks once more before laughing at her own antics. it had taken forever for her to come up with a nickname, and the one she did come up with was pretty random. did she have luck? on good days, yeah, but she wasn't that lucky of a person to claim it as a nickname. she would've chosen something to promote her upcoming album, but that would become too much of a mouthful, and she didn't want to hurt her thumbs anymore.
it's not like this video had much meaning in the first place, so she'd wait for the other to respond.
@idlingworship, filming this video
hiya everyone! happy opening- very excited to meet everyone + your muses. i'm jia (s/h, 21+) , and i'll be writing for huh jihye! as always, more under the read more, and if you still don't feel like running for the hills screaming after reading about her, please hit the lil heart & i'll come into your ims for plotting. discord is also available upon request!
background
healthy, wealthy, rich and she is that bitch....
born & raised in california, she's the huh family's youngest (read: oopsie baby) and left to her own devices most of the time as a result, with her parents and siblings all doing their own successful people tingz...
her older sister introduces her to kpop when she's 5, and she's HOOKED. she's at the age where she wants to be an astronaut one week and a teacher the next, so when she tells her entire family she's going to be an idol, they just indulgently nod and smile- and you know what... the next month she's talking about wanting to be an actress, so.
at 14, she gets a casting dm from everlast ent., and she absolutely loooooved mirrorworld's 4 walls, so off to seoul she went! got through all their auditions, but there's a v. good chance her family background influenced it... monkey covering emoji
nepotism only gets u so far tho... and after a year of training she's sick of it. ends up being much more interested in studio time than sitting through japanese lessons, and she leaves when given the option to. joins a survival show a couple months after, because she thinks that may be a little bit more up her alley.
spoiler, it's not! pulling all-nighters just to practice songs she hates and having to handhold bitches who can't even sing on-key... she's absolutely sick of it and it kinda shows! pann-girls have a field day with her supposed attitude. see: chopped up gifs of her glaring at other contestants and having less than absolutely glowing reactions. she's a fake bitch who's trying too hard to be pretty, etc... really, the only good thing that comes out of it is a conversation w/ a producer who tells her she might like it over at culture.
during her audition with them, she tells them straight up she wants to be a singer-songwriter & be allowed to learn more about composing/producing. they're more than happy to, but her first day on the job they put her in a 3-hour dance class. #scammed
buuuuut they also do give her lots of studio time and she's mentored by many wonderful producers, and given opportunities to produce for others even as a trainee so she's a very content girlie.
by the time f/f's started as a predebut project, she's a shoo-in. she's trained for a long-ass time, and the girl's got PIPES on top of what she's got going on for her as a producer! what she doesn't expect, though, is being made the group's leader-- she's one of the younger members, and the role comes as a surprise. she takes it in relative stride, though, and does her best to step up to the role.
personality:
she's currently known best as f/f's leader, main vocal & producer; some think she's only the main vocalist because she has a hand in creating the songs... and honestly? they're not completely wrong! she just thinks she's the best vocalist so she should be getting those parts... lol...
both laidback but also a hard-ass as a leader; runs a super tight ship during practicing/recording. has a super sharp eye and monitors all their rehearsals/performances super closely, and doesn't mince her words when it comes to giving feedback. very much sakura in this clip... believes that they all have to be giving their very best on stage. couldn't care less about what they do outside of it, though. dating? doing drugs? whatever, just don't get caught! is always on the girls' side, though, and is clear when communicating between them and the company.
doesn't do a whole lot outside of the group-- partially to maintain her privacy, partially because she cbf. does a live maybe once every 2 months and fucks off. whatever she does decide to do is very carefully selected so she can maintain her image.
speaking of image!!!!! this is something i'm very excited to talk about and have evolve. she's currently successfully keeping up the perfect idol image very well, but it's also very... distant, in a sense. it's obvious she's not #real, but she's also manufacturing some #real moments. not too many, though- can't have people thinking she's just some girl next door :/ in a nutshell? on a self-made pedestal. love to hate her, hate to love her, she's had no real scandals or controversies after debuting with f/f and she plans to keep it like that, tqvm!
ofc... there is some baseless hate floating around- most of them because of her personality, but she's generally liked by the gp because she's just so good at being an idol & those 'controversies' are largely regarded as losers just being nitpicky.
tldr: she's ai hoshino
reserved & reticent off-screen, but comes off as a generally warm person. stoically takes everything in stride with an unfaltering smile on her face. randomly breaks down when listening to sad songs/movies, but always in private, and it's One (1) tear. u will not get a tear out of her tonight otherwise. takes care of people quietly, but she's always her first priority. a bit of a misandrist, no i will not elaborate. staunchly refuses to write culture a love song. fights with the company 24/7, which is impressive and says a lot about her considering culture's generally more hands off than other companies. see:
culture: hey what about your meal plans and di- abi: finish that sentence and u die by my hand. culture: ok our bad
overall i just think she's a fun muse to have in the mix... if u would like her to be mixed up with ur muse(s) then thank u <3 luv yewwwww if u got to the end of this ....
Day blends into night when Jihye's in the studio, with hours passing by in the blink of an eye. She drags herself home when she's physically unable to keep her eyes open, waking up for school and practice hours later, absolutely nothing outside of it in her life.
It's the kind of life she's happy living, though. A pep in her step uncharacteristic of someone as seriously sleep-deprived as her, but that might just be the concerning amount of caffeine she's consuming on the daily.
So of course, she's there before him. Nothing else to live for.
Dance practice lets out early, and she's been in his studio for the past 40 minutes working on the song they'd been slaving over during the night before. Legs crossed on the office chair, blanket over her shoulders, she's quickly gotten comfortable in the space over the past month.
She doesn't even turn to greet him when she hears the door open, just throwing a hand up in greeting. Same hand drops to slide the coffee cup closer to herself, and she raises her eyebrows in surprise when she hears their to-do list for the day. "I'm recording the demo?" Serendipitous, since she'd been working on the toplining.
"I'll send you my bank account details after this, then." Jihye simpers, taking a sip of the coffee in an exaggeratedly cute manner. She's not being serious, of course, considering how much food he's bought them over the course of album prep. Definitely more than enough to cover whatever the demo fee was.
❝ save you
❝ even if everything falls apart don’t lose yourself ‘cause i’ll be there to save you i’ll be there to save you @idlingworship sometime late november, 2018
jihoon feels like he is babysitting. like culture creative just signed him and somewhere between the lines of the contract babysitting was written and he just happened to miss it. at least that was the initial thought that would just come and go whenever he would walk into his studio and see jihye sat on the second chair. the company had promised him his own studio, well.. jihoon insisted his own studio if he was going to be working with them, and if he old lousy company could comply with that, so could culture fucking creative. however, it was still bland, still missed any touch of personality. unless you counted the takeaway boxes and empty coffee cups scattered around.
it does take a while for jihoon to actually open up and be a good senior, a mentor, a friend if you would like. he feels bad that jihye had to witness him this stressed and anxious, swear and yell a few times. it was a big move in his career. a break or make it comeback album. he thinks she understands, but he doesn’t understand why culture creative thought it would be a good idea for this to be a thing now, and not when he has his next comeback or project.
“we are recording a demo today.” jihoon says as he drops a few sheets of paper onto the desk, followed by two coffee’s “this one is with oat milk.” he clarifies by tapping onto the said coffee cup, before turning his attention to one of the desk drawers picking out some coloured pens. “actually, i lied.” he corrects himself “you are recording part of the demo for the feature.” he clarifies as he finally sits down on the chair next to jihye. they had been working on save u for a while now, it was very different from the whole album, but was a great song never the less. so what better way than teach jihye how it’s like to record a demo before sending it out to people who might actually feature the song.
