God, The Way The Hunger Games Truly Reflects Today’s Political Climate Is So… Daunting. I Mean, From

the bond between a girl and their favorite fictional man is both an unstoppable force and an immovable object

u know whats wild. everyone on here like 20 and when i first joined everyone was like 14 15. u ask anybody n they been here for years. nobody new on here. staff locked the doors n were all Stuck Inside

A Harmless Drink

Summary: After an exhausting day, Commander Fox decides to pay you a visit with a bottle of wine he isn't supposed to have

Pairing: Commander Fox x Senate!Reader

Word Count: 5.2k

Tags: Mutual Pining, Alcohol, Friends to (eventual) Lovers

! link to ao3 !

’Panic’ isn’t a word in Commander Fox’s vocabulary.

And even now, as he rushes through the wide corridors of the Senate Building, swiftly dodging oncoming senators and wandering droids, he isn’t in a state of panic. If anything, Commander Fox is just annoyed. As per usual.

Fox knows he’s getting weird looks from people, a few senators even gasping as they stumble out of his way. The Senate has had its fair share of security breaches, all of which the Commander and the rest of the Coruscant Guard have handled with the utmost efficiency.

It’s not a strange occurrence to see one of the Guards running through the halls, presumably going to deal with some emergency… but Fox guesses this is the first time they’ve seen a member of the Coruscant Guard running through the halls not with a blaster in hand, but with a rather large bottle of the Chancellor’s most expensive wine.

Fox is sure he hears another clone laugh at him as he skids around a corner and rushes down another hallway. Muttering a few curses underneath his helmet, Fox ignores all the different reactions his hurried appearance has caused. Right now, he has more pressing matters to worry about, well, one matter actually.

Despite many scheduled meetings and appearances, Chancellor Palpatine opted to spend his afternoon catching up with some old friends from the Chommell Sector, who decided to spontaneously drop by. Fox can’t recall every time he either clenched his jaw in annoyance or rolled his eyes during the guest’s time with the Chancellor.

‘Who are these people?’ He thought to himself, knowing that both he and the Chancellor had much better things to do than entertain guests ‘You can’t just stroll in and decide to chat to the Chancellor for a few hours’.

Well, as it turns out, you can. Or at least these people can.

After hours of reminiscing on old times, they finally left. But just when Fox thought the disruption was over, Palpatine sighed, taking out the bottle of wine and loudly proclaiming he meant to give it to his departing friends but completely forgot.

With the Commander’s luck, he was then picked by the Chancellor to quickly catch up with the group and give them the present before they boarded their ship.

This would have been an easy task to complete if the guests had just left but a lengthy ten minutes had already passed by the time Palpatine realised he still had the wine and sent Fox on his mission. The second the Commander was given the bottle of wine and left the Chancellor’s Suite, he began his sprint, knowing it takes approx. 12 minutes to get from the Suite to the closest landing pad.

Hearing some loud farewells from around the corner, Fox presumes he’s made it just in time, breathing a sigh of relief. Dashing out to the landing pad, he abruptly comes to a stop.

A confused group of Vurk politicians suddenly halt their goodbyes and turn to face the Commander, confused looks spreading across their faces. One of the older Vurk’s peers down at the bottle in Fox’s hand. “Oooo is that for us, Commander?” He asks, fingers twitching with anticipation.

“Kriff” Fox mumbles to himself, shoulders deflating as he realises he’s completely missed the Chancellor’s guests and that they’re probably exiting the atmosphere by now.

“Hmm?” Another one of the Vurks asks, not quite catching Fox’s response.

With his grip tightening on the bottle, Fox huffs, turns on his feet and leaves. He’s in no mood to deal with politicians right now, the thoughts of returning the bottle to a disappointed Chancellor deepening his annoyance.

If he didn’t look like a fool running through the corridors of the Senate Building beforehand, he sure feels like one now. Trying to look as if he’s walking with purpose, Fox holds the bottle tightly beneath his arm with no real plan of what to do now.

Judging by the orange hues of the sunset glaring through the windows, Fox only has another ten minutes on shift. After that, he’s supposed to have seven hours to eat, sleep, shower and do any additional paperwork before the beginning of his next shift. Though being the Commander of the Coruscant Guard means Fox rarely gets those full seven hours without some kind of call to duty.

Slowing his pace, Fox starts to think of a plan. If he takes a slight detour then he may not make it back to the Chancellor’s Suite in time.

Of course Fox is aware this doesn't fix his slight problem, only prolonging the inevitable sigh of disappointment the Chancellor will give him. If Palpatine isn’t informed that the bottle of wine didn’t reach his guests today then he will be tomorrow… but on this occasion, Fox prefers it to be tomorrow.

Turning down one of the smaller side corridors, Commander Fox heads in the opposite direction of the Chancellor’s Suite. His steps become quick and confident. Fox knows exactly where his detour will take him.

***

Why are you still here? That’s the one question your mind keeps going back to. The last Senate meeting was over two hours ago and even that, you didn’t need to attend in person. You did simply because you had nothing better to do.

Your days have recently become boring and you hoped that attending the Senate meeting in person might liven things up. Unfortunately, it didn’t. In fact, the most exciting thing you’ve witnessed all day was Senator Binks walking into a door… which admittedly happens more often than not.

Leaning back on your chair, your eyes leave the paperwork scattered on your desk and glance around your office. You’ve been appointed senator of your homeplanet for just over a year now and yet your office still looks foreign to you, as if this is your first time entering.

The dull grey walls blend in with the ashened floor, making the office look more like a prison cell. In fact, the only object that actually distinguishes your office from the empty office spaces a few corridors away is the couch the previous senator had brought in.

He was old and apparently had back problems and so he spent most of his day lounging around on the oddly shaped couch. You, on the other hand, rarely sit on it and instead prefer to stay hunkered down by your desk.

And yet despite how dreary the room is, here you still are, spending your evening skimming through policies and motions other senators hope to put forward.

What a life.

You’re about to go through another pending motion when there’s a sharp knock at the door. You immediately sit up straight, eyebrows raised at the sudden noise.

“Yes? Come in” you call out, your fingers drumming on your desk.

The durasteel door slides open and familiar maroon armour enters the room. It’s an automatic response when you rise to your feet, an act of respect to a man with such high authority. “Commander,” you greet “is everything alright?”.

Fox stops just short of your desk. His hand twitches for a moment and he has to stop himself from saying “At ease, soldier”. Usually they’re the only people to ever show him this level of respect, with many senators seeing him as an armoured assistant most of the time.

But not you, you’ve always given Fox the respect he deserves.

Maybe that’s why he constantly feels a pull towards you, always wondering where you are in the building and what you’re doing. Respect, and of course, he has to think about you for security purposes too. But that’s it, or at least Fox has convinced himself those are the only two reasons why you constantly invade his brain.

He clears his throat “Yes, everything is fine, I just… I uh”.

Goddammit, why is he here? Fox has had all this time to think of a reason to visit you on his walk here and yet the very thought is only crossing his mind now. Thankfully, you speak again, brushing past his awkwardness.

“Is that wine?” you squint your eyes, convinced your gaze must be deceiving you.

Letting out a laugh, you continue with your barrage of questions “Commander, are you drinking on the job?”.

He watches as you raise an eyebrow, your eyes glued to the bottle in his hand. Fox would feel flustered if it isn’t for your disarming laugh. Hell, if droids had your laugh instead of repeating ‘roger roger’ all the damn time, Fox is sure he would have forgotten how to shoot and died in his first encounter with them.

The ghost of a smile graces his lips as he finally manages to reply. Lifting his arm to look at the bottle, he simply asks “You think I’m a wine drinker?”. You laugh again and it makes his chest tighten.

Although you’ve overheard many troopers complain about the infamously ‘by the books’ Commander, you enjoy his company. Unfortunately, a lot of people don’t give clones a chance, practically viewing them as droids with heartbeats. You, on the other hand, much prefer their company over the likes of senators or even some jedi.

You’ll always remember the first time you officially met the Commander of the Coruscant Guard. Beforehand, one of the other senators pointed him out to you, warning you to steer clear as it was well known Fox was very cut and dry, never kissing the asses of pretentious senators who believed they were the chosen one. But when you actually met Fox, it was after you had already befriended Thorn and Hound.

Since you were genuinely interested in getting to know the clones, Hound thought it would be a good idea to show you their private quarters, assuring you it was all above board and not a breach of protocol… yep, that was a lie.

You spent all of 5 minutes in their private quarters, listening intently as Thorn gave you a very in depth review of their nutrition bars, a food they must rely on as a snack to get them through their shifts. He even gave you a few to take with you but that’s when Commander Fox appeared behind you. Sheer annoyance emulated from him and within a few seconds, he was escorting you out of their private quarters.

Neither of you knew it then but that was the start of a beautiful friendship, one where you often annoyed the Commander yet he always put up with you.

“No, I never imagined you as a wine drinker,” you admit, crossing your arms as your posture becomes more relaxed. Although his eyes briefly flick down your body, Fox tries to ignore how your hips sway with your change of stance. Thinking for a moment, you conclude “You’re definitely more of a cocktail kinda guy”.

For the first time today, Fox rolls his eyes not out of annoyance but in an affectionate way. “Very funny” he comments sarcastically.

“So why are you carrying around a bottle of wine, Commander?” You query, lips tugging upwards when you hear an audible sigh leave his helmet. That’s a normal indication from Fox that you’re in for one hell of a story.

Fox steps forward, placing the wine on your desk and subconsciously leaning against the solid structure, his body weary from the long day. Taking this to mean the formal part of his visit is over, you sit back down, your head propped up by both of your hands as you eagerly wait for him to begin.

Maker, if you could see yourself; a relaxed smile on your lips, body instinctively leaning in his direction and your eyes, kriff, your eyes, sparkling with curiosity as you give the Commander your undivided attention. It makes his heart stutter, heat rushing to his cheeks.

Usually he only gets this kind of attention from senators when they’re yelling at him to do a better job or expecting him to save their ass from whatever threat happens to grace the Senate.

Fox starts from the beginning, describing how obnoxiously the Chancellor’s guests wandered in and telling you everything that’s happened until now. You laugh at various parts, especially when he goes off on a tangent about how arrogant the guests were.

This is one of your favourite things about Fox, his rants are always so hilarious. Not many people laugh at what the Commander says and most of the time Fox doesn’t see the humour in his rants either. But that only makes it funnier to you.

He’s so blunt in his description of the Chancellor’s guests, not hesitating to mention how one was obviously trying to hide their bald spot and how another spent half the time trying to fish some snot out of their nose.

Usually Fox doesn’t elaborate this much when speaking to others, keeping his renditions brief but when it comes to telling you about his day, he likes to add in little comments or mention details he normally never would.

Besides, if mentioning some extra details means you’ll keep your attention on him for just a little bit longer, then it’s worth it.

Once Fox tells you why he took this detour, you gasp dramatically “Commander, it’s not like you to ditch your duties”.

He scoffs, his plastoid shoulder pads rolling as he shrugs “I’m not ditching my duties… technically, I’ve been off duty for the last minute and a half”.

“And before that? When you were still on duty and complaining about your dear old Chancellor’s guests?” you goad, though you know you have a better chance at beating Count Dooku in a lightsaber fight than getting the Commander to admit that he was, in fact, ditching duties.

“I was informing a senator of the current proceedings within the Senate,” he replies, authority laced deep in his voice as he gestures to you “it’s imperative that senators such as yourself are aware of any unidentified guests entering the facility”.

Goddammit he’s good. “Touché, Commander,” you reply “and the wine? What are you going to do with it now?”.

“I’ll have to return it to the Chancellor tomorrow when I relay what happened to him,” he states “I’m sure he’s already retired to his private quarters for the night”.

“Really?” you try to hide the slight disappointment in your voice but Fox is quick to pick up on it.

“Why?” he scans your face, trying to identify what he’s said wrong “What do you propose I do with it?”.

You have the perfect idea in mind but first you shrug, wanting to downplay your plan “Well I’m sure your brothers would appreciate a bottle of that size, it’s sure to lift a few spirits”. That earns another scoff from him, just as expected.

“Or…” you continue, looking at the time on your holopad “you are off duty and Maker knows you deserve a drink and I don’t know, maybe you could share some with your favourite senator?”. You flash him a cheesy smile to seal the deal. This is a hard bargain to sell, you’re well aware of that but if you don’t try then you’ll never know.

Fox thinks for a moment, his helmet tilting down at the bottle. How do you have such a hold on him? When the group of Vurk politicians even suggested taking the bottle, Fox was well and truly over the idea but with you? He can’t believe he’s actually considering it. I mean, would the Chancellor really know any different if Fox simply didn’t mention it again? Surely he would just assume the bottle was given to the guests and that would be the end of it.

Damn it, is he malfunctioning right now? Fox can feel your gaze on him and before you can backtrack your idea, he says “I guess there’s no harm in it…”.

A tingle of excitement surges through you. Now this is exactly what you need after such a boring day but you want to make sure. “Is that a ‘yes’, Commander?” You pry, holding your breath in anticipation.

“It's a ‘you’re an extremely bad influence’,” he corrects you before adding “but it’s also a yes”.

The second a bright grin spreads across your face, Fox knows this decision, while very risky, is completely worth it. “Yes!” you exclaim, jumping up from your seat and making your way around the desk and closer to Fox.

Fox holds the bottle steady and twists the cap off, breaking the seal before handing it to you. “I don’t have any glasses,” you caution, unsure whether that’ll be an issue “so I hope you don’t mind sharing”. You wait for Fox’s reply, not wanting to start downing the bottle without his blessing.

He gives a short laugh “That’s not an issue to me”.

With that as his sign of approval, you take a moment to brace yourself before bringing the mouth of the bottle to your lips. While you take your first gulp of wine, Fox moves his hands up to his helmet, unclicking it and finally taking it off. It’s something he doesn't do often while in the Senate Building but he can’t exactly drink the wine any other way.

As you bring the bottle away from your mouth, you're too busy dealing with the strange bitterness of the wine to notice his sudden change in appearance.

“Wow,” your face involuntarily scrunches up, your arm holding out the bottle to Fox “that’s a lot stronger than I expected”.

Fox settles his helmet on your desk, making sure to avoid placing it on top of your paperwork. “Too strong for you?” he teases, a smirk playing on his lips “Well, that’s really saying something”. Satisfied with where his helmet is placed, he turns to look at you.

Your mouth falls open as his gaze meets yours and for a second, you forget how to breathe. It’s strange to think this is the first time you’ve seen Fox without his helmet on, yet with the current situation the galaxy finds itself in, it’s not something you’ve ever found weird.

He doesn't look like the rest of the clones, well of course he does to some degree but unlike most of them, Fox understandably has many dark circles under his eyes.

Although he looks clean shaven, the inklings of a 5 o’clock shadow enhance his jawline. He has a few scars scattered across his face, the largest one looking like it came from some sort of animal. Perhaps that’s how he got his name.

But the Commander's most distinguishable feature is his hair, a salt and pepper mixture of the usual dark hair of clones with silver hairs scattered throughout, presumably from the amount of stress he’s constantly under. Maker, why does he hide under that helmet all day? Probably because of the amount of people who would be throwing themselves at him if he didn’t wear — oh kriff, you’re staring.

Fox looks at you with a furrowed brow, wondering just how strong this wine is. “Fox - uh, Commander - sorry,” you stutter, the words spilling from your mouth “um, here, it’s your turn to drink”. You practically shove the bottle into his hands.

Fox doesn't comment on your rattled demeanour, taking the bottle and deciding he should judge for himself how strong this wine is. Taking a swig from the bottle, he holds the liquid in his mouth for a few moments before swallowing. It’s definitely strong, a sharp pang hitting his taste buds. Thankfully, it doesn’t last long and the rich aftertaste helps ease the intensity.

“It certainly has a kick to it” he determines, taking a moment to examine the bottle’s shiny label before passing it back to you.

“Do you want to sit?” You ask, gesturing to that damn couch as you take the wine from him. Fox nods and you both get settled on the couch, the Commander sitting very formally with both feet planted on the ground in contrast to you, curled up with your feet tucked in by your body.

“Sorry for staring,” you blurt out, swiftly taking another drink before you elaborate “it’s just that I’ve never seen your face before”.

Fox smiles to himself for a moment before shifting his gaze to you, endearment in his eyes. “Yes you have” he corrects you.

“Huh? No, every time we talk, you always have your helmet on,” you protest, absolutely certain you’re right.

“You’ve still seen my face before this” he says drily and it takes you a couple of seconds to catch on.

“Oh,” your eyelids drop “just because I’ve seen other clone’s faces doesn’t mean I knew what you looked like”.

“That’s exactly what it means actually” he shrugs, taking the bottle from you. Fox knows he’s slowly starting to wind you up but it’s one of the few joys he has.

“You could’ve been a droid under there for all I knew,” you reply exasperatedly “besides, just because you’re all clones that doesn’t mean you all look like carbon copies of each other”.

Yes, it does, but after another gulp of wine, Fox is more interested in how you see it if not the obvious. “How so?” he inquires.

You have an obvious answer. Not every clone you’ve seen is as attractive as Fox. Although you’d love to give this answer, you haven’t had enough wine to start shamelessly flirting with the Commander just yet. Instead you opt for the teasing answer.

“Not every clone is greying as fast as you, Fox”.

Fox takes another large gulp of wine after that, his eyes rolling yet again. “That’s Commander to you” he mutters.

“Oh I’m so sorry, not every clone is greying as fast as you, Commander”.

You’re lucky Fox likes this about you. You can dish it just as well as you can take it, never shying from a confrontation or an opportunity to tease him. Placing his free hand on his knee, Fox mutters “That’s it, I’m going to see if Senator Amidala would like some of this wine instead”.

He doesn’t even get a chance to move before your hand is on his shoulder. “What? Wait! But I haven’t even told you about my run in with Senator Aak” you hastily reveal. It was only last week Fox had been complaining to you about the senator so you know he’ll appreciate a good story of how you got the better of him earlier in the day.

He doesn't answer immediately, trying not to draw attention to your hand still being on his shoulder in fear you’ll quickly remove it if he does.

Settling back down, he nods “Go on”. Fox tries to keep his face neutral when you remove your hand, instead putting your open palm in front of him.

He huffs, feigning annoyance as he gives you the bottle. Happy with your small victory, you take a hurriedly swig of the wine before telling Fox all about your earlier encounter with the senator.

It isn’t very exciting, especially in comparison to what Fox has to deal with but you know he’ll be happy to hear you won a debate against Senator Aak. After all, your mutual dislike of the senator is one of the many things you both happen to have in common.

As you tell him all about your interaction, Fox relaxes more and more, the both of you casually passing the bottle to one another.

Admittedly, Fox can’t recall the last time he’s had a drink. He knows it was probably at 79's but he rarely gets enough time off to genuinely unwind and whenever he does, he’s usually interrupted and called back to work. The more you talk, the less Fox pays attention, the warm feeling in his chest urging him to take this time to fully admire your features.

You blabber on with your story, subconsciously scooting closer to the Commander as you continue to relay what happened. Although you don’t feel too tipsy, the fuzzy feeling in your head is a clear indication the wine is finally starting to set in.

It feels weird to have the Commander’s attention on you. It’s something you’ve had numerous times in the past but to have it and actually see his face is a whole new experience. You can see exactly what he’s looking at and each small change of his expression, which is actually pretty daunting.

“You should’ve seen the look on his face,” you continue with your story, trying to ignore how his brown eyes shine like dews of honey “he was so flustered that I actually called him out and he was trying to think of a rebuttal but… wow, your eyes are really pretty”.

Ok, maybe you’ve had enough wine.

You watch as Fox realises what you said, the sudden shift of conversation catching him off guard. “Oh… that was the senator's rebuttal?” He questions, wishing he paid more attention to what you were saying.

“No, I uh, sorry, that just came out,” you laugh nervously, trying to do some damage control “sorry, that was unprofessional of me to say”.

Fox holds back a laugh, a smirk creeping up on his face as he swirls the remainder of the wine around the bottle “Yeah cause this is completely professional”.

You roll your eyes, playfully shoving him as you scoff “You know what I mean”. Fox’s smirk only gets wider, noting how you’re much more physical when you’re tipsy, seeking out any reason to touch him.

Could you possibly feel the same? Fox never truly saw that as a possibility until now, knowing duty must always come first and that he should never indulge in such fantasies… but if you feel it too then maybe testing out the waters wouldn’t hurt.

“No, I don’t think I ‘know what you mean’” Fox tests you.

You let out an audible sigh, knowing he’s being difficult on purpose. Fidgeting with your hands, you break his fierce gaze. How are you supposed to explain your sudden desire to compliment him? How can you let him know how much you yearn for him without blatantly saying it out of fear of rejection? Is that even possible?

“I just- you know how… I don’t know… c’mon, you have to know what I mean” kriff, it’s a struggle to get the words out.

Rolling his shoulders, Fox takes the opportunity to subtly lean closer to you. If it isn’t for the sensation of his hot breath hitting against your cheek when he speaks, you’re certain you would have missed what he says, his voice a mere whisper “You’re cute when you’re flustered”.

The comment makes you impulsively look back up to him, your eyes widening when you see his full attention is on your lips. You want to melt under his gaze, to pull him close and finally show him how you feel. “Commander…” is all you can get out, your throat tightening as you inch closer to him, eyes shutting.

Fox does the same, edging closer until his nose softly brushes against yours, the touch so intimate it almost makes him gasp with anticipation. He can hear the thudding of his heart thunder through his ears and he prays the thickness of his armour deafens the noise to you.

Your mind is whizzing almost as fast as the speeders outside but you try to ignore it, wanting to live in the moment and not think of the repercussions this might cause. Both of you continue on slowly, a warmth capturing your lips as his mouth hovers over yours.

Before the commander can fully press his lips to yours, a quick ping sound goes off, closely followed by a ringing noise you recognise. Fox sighs, knowing what it is too. Keeping his eyes shut, he lifts his arm up to his mouth, pulling away from you.

There’s a brief second you think there’s some hesitation in Fox but you know duty will always come first.

“What?” His voice is gruff, obviously not appreciating the interruption.

A familiar voice answers “Commander, there’s an altercation taking place outside the Chancellor’s Suite, sir. Senator Clovis is demanding to speak to the Chancellor over some, uh…”. There’s some scuffling and you hear Senator Clovis in the background, impatiently demanding they get out of his way. “Uh… some policy, I think, sir. We’ve already informed him that the Chancellor has retired to his private quarters for the night but he’s not interested in listening to us”.

Fox lets a few seconds pass before answering, mulling over what his head is telling him to do versus his heart. With restraint in his voice, he firmly replies “Keep him there, I’m on my way”.

Although this sort of reply is to be expected from the Commander of the Coruscant Guard, you can’t help the way your heart sinks. Yet, you force a smile as you quietly say “Duty calls”. Fox looks at you with sorrowful eyes, unsure how to respond and so he simply nods.

With the wine in his hand, Fox stands, suddenly feeling quite dizzy. He tries not to let it show, knowing he has a job to do.

You stand too, following the Commander as he goes to the desk to retrieve his helmet. Placing the bottle where his helmet was, Fox gives you one more sympathetic look before obscuring his face with the helmet, clicking it back into place.

Kriff, you miss his face already. Would it be unprofessional to rush over and take it back off? Ask him to comm his brother back and say he has more pressing matters at hand? You swallow, knowing this isn’t a viable option.

Turning to face you, Fox loosely gestures to the bottle “You can keep the wine”.

“You sure you don’t want to chug the rest before you go?” you joke, yet the disappointment is still clear in your tone “If you have to go deal with Senator Clovis then you might need the extra encouragement”.

“Chugging wine seems more your style” Fox teases, tearing his eyes away from your face and walking to the door. Like a lost puppy, you follow him again, not wanting to be without his presence.

With his hand hovering over the door’s command panel, he shifts his head to look at you one more time. “I…” Fox has so much he wants to say to you yet the words refuse to come out “thank you… for the drink”. He scrunches his eyes shut, glad you can’t see his face anymore. Out of everything he could have said, that’s the best he’s got?

He hears you shift and his eyes spring open, just in time to see you lean up and place a kiss on the side of his helmet. “No, Fox, thank you” you reply.

In a rare occurrence, the Commander is too stunned to speak. His brain short circuits and he has no idea how to respond. Never did Commander Fox think he would be envious of his helmet, but right now, he would do anything to have felt that kiss. Your lips so close yet so far away.

With an abrupt nod, Fox exits your office, waiting for the durasteel doors to shut behind him before taking a moment to process what has just occurred.

With Fox gone, a smile creeps up on your face, an electric feeling buzzing in your stomach. Proud of yourself, you walk back to your desk, sitting down with the bottle of wine in hand. Taking a quick swig, you revel in your small victory as for once, Fox didn’t correct you when you didn’t use his official GAR title of Commander.

If he’ll let you get away with that then maybe you should kiss him more often.

Problems:

I want this story to be written

I don’t want this story to be written by anyone but me

I don’t want to write this story

Suzanne Collin’s just said fuck you to everyone who’s ever critiqued the Hunger Games as being a “teen girl saves the day” story. She said oh, Mockingjay didn’t make it clear enough? Here’s a book about how people have been rebelling for decades only to have their efforts suppressed and propagandized. Rebellion takes time and it takes failure and Katniss may have been the spark that ignited the wildfire but she did so standing atop the doused flames of everyone who came before her.

lilac - chapter 4

miguel o’hara x f!reader

summary: you accidentally overhear a conversation between miguel and his ai at work.

wc: 4.5k

warnings/tags: domestic lifestyle, mentions of violence, mentions of choking and death, swearing, mentions of office sex, strippers, sex workers, strip club, private dances, cuddling

author’s note: he’s so lana del rey coded guys

Anybody with experience knew that trying to keep twenty third graders together was like herding cats. Anybody with further experience knew that keeping twenty third graders together in a sharp, sleek, trillion-dollar facility like Alchemax was like herding cats who were soaking wet and high on all the catnip they could have stuffed their stupid little faces with in the span of five minutes.

“Alexander,” you snapped as you helped your coworker count little bodies as they piled off the bus. “If I have to tell you one more time to keep your hands off James, I’m going to drive this bus myself back to school and give you a fifty-page packet while everyone else here has fun.”

While your words had the effect you hoped they did, you wouldn’t exactly classify a field trip to Alchemax as fun. It was a megacorporation that dabbled in exploits from clean energy to genetics to god knew whatever else they did in there between those fancy metal walls. The building looked as though it should have come straight from a sci-fi film compared to the other foundations on the block, all floor-to-ceiling windows and fifty-some floors and armed guards that stood at the front doors. Certainly not a place to take a field trip with a bunch of nine year olds. Again, you would have thought some place like the zoo or even an interactive museum would have been better, but when the principal wanted something, she got it.

To be honest, you had a suspicion she was hooking up with one of the guards here, but you had nothing to prove your theory.

Like the pack of raging little animals that they were, your students filed across the front way of the building and up the stone stairs to the doors, where they waited in a mass of wiggles and excited spasms. Each of them held their partner’s hand, a rule you pressed with each field trip. Going into a freaky building like this, you almost wished you had a hand to hold yourself.

“That’s all of them,” said your coworkers, one of the three teachers who had come to chaperone the trip. She looked up from her clipboard of names, double checking each kid as you both followed the crowd of children up the steps. “Christ, this is going to be a shitshow. I just know we’re going to be escorted out of here after… I don’t know, a molecular leveler gets demolished by tiny, sticky hands.”

You snuffed out a little snort, reaching up to adjust the necklace perched about your collarbones. In your free hand, you carried a coffee cup that still had the tab in; it wasn’t for you. “I think it’ll be alright,” you said, but not nearly as confidently as you would have liked. “We had an entire assembly over this.”

“And since when has that ever helped?” She followed your movements, her eyes trailing over your form. You blinked at her. “Are you wearing lipstick?”

“Hah! No…!” Quickly, before she could ask any more questions, you turned away and pressed your lips to your sleeve, trying to wipe off some of the excess lipstick you’d applied right before leaving the school. Fuck, it was too much, wasn’t it?

Definitely too much for popping in to visit during a school field trip when you should have been watching your kids.

After passing through multiple tall, sleek-looking metal detectors (and scolding a few kids for bringing their phones when they were specifically told to leave them at school), you met the man who would be giving the tour of the facility in the lobby. Overhead, modern-art-classified light fixtures hung from the ceiling like someone had captured starlight and crammed it into bulbs. A cafeteria filled with scientists and researchers and everyone in between stood to your left, each of them donned in a stark white lab coat. Some of them spoke on phones, others clacked away on laptops and futuristic-looking tablets with such an intensity you would have thought they were taking a test for their lives. A few of them spared a glace or two at your group, but they didn’t last long. Apparently field trips to designated areas in the building were normal.

You heard the tour guide talking animatedly to the kids, but his words didn’t quite register as you kept your head on a swivel, searching out something specific. After a moment, when you leaned back on the heels of your feet, you found what you were looking for; the elevators.

“Hey,” you said to your coworker as the kids began to move deeper into the lobby, “will you cover for me? I’ve got to run to the restroom real quick.”

After they had moved along to where they couldn’t see you, you grasped the coffee cup tighter in your grasp and made a beeline for the elevators. Your footsteps against the polished marble seemed deafening as you quickened your pace, realizing the cup wasn’t as hot as it had been earlier. How fucking humiliating would it be if you brought him cold coffee? There was a part of you that knew, really, he wouldn’t mind, but the larger, more insecure bit insisted he would mentally cringe and throw it out the second you left.

Fuck, you thought. This man had you whipped.

You had just reached the elevators, reaching out to tap the call button, when a voice called out to you from your left. “Excuse me,” said a woman sitting behind a large metal desk you hadn’t seen in your haste. She eyed you from behind thick lenses, brow quirked over the top of her monitor. “We do ask that you stay with your group, if you’re here for a tour.”

“Oh! Uhm…” Gripping the cup tight enough that you felt the cardboard bend ever so slightly against your fingers, you padded closer to the desk and put on your best tight-lipped smile. “I’m sorry. I was just bringing a drink to someone who worked here. He’s, uhm… he’s -”

Before you could force your tongue to get out some kind of excuse, some kind of title, the woman was pulling out a small paper sheet from a drawer beside her leg. “Are you a significant other?” she asked, pulling a visitor sticker from the sheet and leaning forward to press it to your shirt. She didn’t seem to want to wait for an answer before sitting back down and clicking away at her screen. “Just a security question before you go; name and floor number?”

Goddamn; suddenly you were so fucking glad some people sucked at their jobs.

Taking a breath, you inhaled and plastered on a grin. “O’Hara,” you replied. “Floor three.”

“Alright,” she said without looking up again. “You’re free to go up. Please stay in the public hallways.”

The entire elevator ride up to the third floor, you were unable to keep a goofy, surely stupid-looking smile from your face. You liked the idea of being called Miguel’s ‘significant other.’ It made your stomach clench, made your pulse race and your heart thunder and your core throb with a dull ache. For just a moment, you allowed yourself to imagine that kind of role, being deserving of such a title.

Coming home from your teaching job not to immediately race to do your makeup in loud, flashy colors, but to stay in the warm, basking glow of a house or a roomy apartment each evening. The keys would always fit just right in the lock, never click or jump. The air would be filled with the sound of a little girl’s quiet giggles from her bedroom, along with the smell of dinner cooking on the stove. Small soccer cleats by the door. Trinkets and photographs and everything else that made the house a home strewn about the rooms. And a tall, sinewy figure that towered over you there to greet you when you walked inside, all warm smiles and wide, calloused hands on your hips and full lips to press against yours with enough gentleness and passion and adoration to keep you on your toes the rest of the night.

A bed big enough for the both of you, with enough blankets and comforters that you wouldn’t be cold even if you couldn’t afford to keep the heat on. Sheets and pillows that knew your white-knuckled grip, that would mold to your hands as you laid out bare for him and allowed him to worship the very ground you walked on with his mouth, his fingers, what lay beneath his slim, narrow hips…

By the time the elevator reached the third floor and the doors opened with a gentle chime, your cheeks were hot and your palms were sweaty enough you were sure you’d heated the coffee back up to steaming.

Wandering through the halls of Alechmax’s third floor and feeling incredibly out of place amongst the scientists flipping through reports and chattering on calls, you shuffled from office to office, searching for that familiar name that made your stomach flip. It seemed an awkwardly insane amount of time before you finally spotted his name on a plate beside a door left slightly ajar. You approached and smoothed out your shirt, preparing to present the coffee, when you heard voices inside.

“This isn’t like you, boss,” a woman was saying, her voice slightly warped from speaking over a computer. “You’re always preaching to the others that messing with canon events and triggering changes that aren’t meant to happen is wrong. You know it’s wrong.”

From across the room, a voice you recognized as Miguel’s scoffed. “This one is different. I’m balancing out the changes. I’ve got it under control.”

“Some control you’ve got. You do realize you’ve already altered enough canon events that even this universe itself doesn’t know where it’s going anymore? The bad guys here aren’t supposed to be in jail. Things aren’t supposed to get better. You know why? Because here, there is no Spiderman.”

Spiderman? Your gut clenched slightly as you inched closer to the gap between the door and the frame. If they were talking about Spiderman, then surely - he must have come from here. Some of those conspiracy theorists were right.

“Like I said, Lyla,” Miguel replied, his voice a touch deeper than it had been just a moment ago, “I have it under control.”

The woman named Lyla went on despite the dangerous rumble in Miguel’s throat you’d never heard before. “Here’s another one. That friend of yours? She was supposed to be engaged by now to her boyfriend. Her actual boyfriend. They’re supposed to have the whole angsty proposal thing, go back and forth for another three months, then end things. When he ends her. Asphyxiation by choking for approximately seven minutes, by the way.”

For a long, long while, there was silence. You realized you had been holding your breath, trying desperately to connect these pieces that just refused to fit together. What on earth were they talking about? Universes? Spiderman? Someone getting choked to death by their fiance? It sounded like a bad movie plot.

“Lyla?” came Miguel’s voice.

“Yeah, boss?”

“...Shut down and mute all alerts.”

Again, there came that horrible, palpable silence. Lyla seemed to be in some kind of shock. “Boss, I’m not sure that’s really what you want. You’re in a state of denial. Maybe you should take a break there, come back to headquarters. Jessica’s tried reaching out. Peter and Ben, too. I advise spending time with friends to decrease levels of -”

“Shut down. Now. I’m not going to tell you again.”

“...Yes, boss.”

When you heard his footsteps crossing the room, you took a small step back and clutched the surely-lukewarm coffee to your stomach. You’d never heard him take such a tone before, always used to that warm, content baritone that rumbled comfortably from deep within his throat. This kind of voice you’d just heard was cold and emotionless, without an ounce of feeling in a single one of his words.

You took a breath and exhaled it softly.

Then, as if he heard it from inside his office, the door was opened at an alarming rate to reveal Miguel on the other side. His brow was furrowed and a line had appeared at the corner of his mouth with his frown, obviously expecting one of his coworkers to be intruding at his door. Yet when his gaze met yours, when his frame towered over your smaller one, he realized just who you were, recognized that gleam in your eyes when you locked stares. His gaze softened like an airbag deflating. That line by his mouth disappeared. His tensed figure slowly relaxed, his shoulders coming down from where they’d been set.

For a short moment, you simply stared at one another. You were forced to admit to yourself that tone he’d spoken with had intimidated you.

It reminded you of the one Ferris used when he cornered you and threatened to take off for good.

Finally, Miguel’s lips parted. “Hey,” he breathed out, like he was trying his damn fucking best not to let that tone leak through to you.

You swallowed and slowly allowed yourself to relax. He wouldn’t ever speak to you like that. You didn’t know how you knew. You could just sense it in the warmth that poured from him, from the gentle honey of his dark eyes, from the way he held himself and carried his weight and set down each step like he knew the outcome of each and every movement he made. “Hi.”

Miguel inhaled, as if he were relieved you decided to speak. “Sorry about that,” he said and gestured over his shoulder into his office. “We’ve been testing out some new AI lately. Throwing it curveballs to see if it can keep up.” A small smile graced his face, close-lipped and sweet. Again, you realized - he never smiled with his teeth. “It hasn’t been going well.”

Like a dam breaking and letting a flood of water into a canal, relief rocketed through your systems and worked to ease your stress. Of course he had been talking to a computer. You doubted he could ever speak to a woman like that, much less anyone else. And that also explained all the wild things they had been discussing. Universes? Some poor chick getting murdered by her fiance?

Just the complicated workings of an out of sorts AI.

“I have to admit, I was wondering,” you let yourself laugh. “But, you know… who am I to question Alchemax’s best geneticist?” You watched in fascination as the corner of his mouth quirked upward and one eye squinted with the smile. God, you could watch him do that all damn day. Suddenly remembering the coffee in your hands, you held it up to him with an embarrassed grin. “I meant to bring you this while it was still hot, but I guess you know how hellish it can be getting a bunch of third graders on a bus.”

He took the cup with a rather confused expression.

“The field trip,” you said and folded your hands in front of you, because you knew if you didn’t, you would surely reach out and touch his face. “It’s today. You signed the permission slip about a month ago.”

Miguel blinked a few times, then took a breath and lifted his face. “Right. Right, sorry. Must have slipped my mind. I’ve - heh.” He shook his head and reached up to scratch at the delicate skin of his throat in that way he did when he spoke to you. “More going on than you would know.”

“Believe me,” you said softly, looking down at your shoes. You thought of dishes still in the sink, and band practices in your living room, and threats of leaving you all on your own because, really, that was truly your worst fear. “I know.”

You thought from there you would smile and turn, say something like, ‘Well, just thought I’d stop by,’ and leave him in the doorway of his office so that he wouldn’t see the yearning swimming in your irises. Maybe if you were feeling bold, you’d reach out and touch his wrist for just a moment before pulling away and practically sprinting back to the elevators.

But when you went to turn, he beat you to all of that. He reached out to touch your upper arm, the tips of his calloused fingers brushing along the fabric of your shirt, and he asked if you’d like to come inside, sit down for a minute. And inside his office, he told you what his department was working on, explained it in ways he knew you would understand. He spoke of a molecular collider that, in theory, would open a doorway to parallel universes.

You could have spent hours sitting in that office that smelled like his cologne, listening to him talk.

But life moved on. You were forced to pull yourself away, travel back downstairs and hold Gabriella’s hand like you hadn’t just thought about Miguel folding you over his desk, hushing your desperate cries, and gripping onto your hips with a hold that would bruise. You were forced to drive home and argue with Ferris about dirty laundry and his new keyboard girl constantly texting him. You were forced to land in the dressing room at The Menagerie, carefully dotting rhinestones to your collarbones in the mirror while the other girls buzzed around you.

“And he brought you flowers, too?” asked Shawna from where she was spread out on the couch across the room. She sighed deeply and hung her head over the armrest. “Girl. When are you going to stop playing and give that little girl of his a new mom?”

“You know why I can’t,” you replied as you pressed a small plastic rhinestone to your skin.

Zara met your eyes in the mirror as she grabbed the back of your chair, already dressed in her colorful, skimpy outfit and her mask. “We know why,” she hissed, but not at you. “That Ferris dude has got you held under the water, babe. Serious ball and chain kind of deal here. You really need to do something.”

If you could have found the strength to, you would have rolled your eyes at their words. But you really couldn’t. You were nothing short of exhausted after the field trip today, so much that you wouldn’t be surprised if you were unable to keep your eyes open while you were on stage. God, you loved your teaching gig, but sometimes it was so, so stressful. And so was this job. Teaching, dancing, disciplining, teasing. They all collided into one big, neverending hurricane of fatigue.

“Maybe in another universe,” you found yourself mumbling under your breath, remembering everything Miguel had told you about this morning, “I could have been a flower shop keeper.”

Behind you in the mirror, a few of the girls looked at you with strange expressions.

Before you could go back to applying your rhinestones, one of the newer girls entered the room and pushed her mask up so that her face was visible. She looked to you. “Boss said you’re canceled on the stage,” she said, and you hoped for a moment you were going to go home early, before she added, “Guy paid for a private dance in Room 7.”

“Goddammit.” You groaned and leaned forward to rest your forehead on your arms. You were way too fucking tired to do a private dance right now.

“M’sure he won’t be that bad,” said Shawna as she let herself slip further over the arm of the couch.

Grumbling beneath your breath, you stood, finished off your rhinestones the best you could, and slipped your cold porcelain mask over your features. At least like this, your customer wouldn’t be able to see your exhausted eyes and lost expression.

The beating, thrumming music of the club seemed to vibrate your very soul in your chest as you wound your way past patrons and around the stage, sure to throw half-assed smiles at the people you were forced to wiggle past just a bit too close. The short corridor leading to the private rooms were lit with neons, playing with shadows across your costumed form as you found Room 7 and gently knocked on the door. You blinked a few times to clear the blur from your eyes, then cleared your throat and stepped inside.

“Hi, handsome,” you said as you turned to shut the door - your classic line, no matter who the buyer. “How are you doing tonight?” You turned around to face your customer, then came to a complete stop. Even your heart jumped a beat or two.

The man you’d seen in the shadows that night of the robbery, the man with the little scar on his collarbone, had gotten to his feet from his chair when you entered the room. He wore that same spider mask, still had his dark hair slicked back over his head.

You swallowed thick as you felt his eyes traveling over your form behind the gaps in his mask. “Hello… Spiderman.”

He hesitated for a moment, like he was lost on just what to do. “Hey,” he said in an equally soft voice. It was muted in the same way it was behind his spandex mask.

You placed your hands behind your back as you leaned up against the door - and locked it. “I didn’t think you’d come.”

“...You asked.”

“Did I?” Putting on your best flirty, coy smile, you slowly crossed the room to meet him. “I thought all I said was… if you stopped by, to ask for me.” You reached out to touch the edge of his shirt, past his dress jacket, and skim your knuckle over the tan skin of his exposed collarbone. That scar sat just where you’d seen it before. “But you’re here.”

“...I’m here.”

There was a soft lilt to his voice, one that you had not heard before. Then again, you hadn’t spoken to him much, just in the bank and on the rooftop. But it seemed long enough to know that it wasn’t normal.

“What’s wrong, Spiderman?” you asked gently, taking a step closer. Your knees brushed against his, and when you gave him a gentle push on the shoulder, he sat back in the chair positioned in the center of the room. You gingerly climbed up so that your knees rested on either side of his thighs, so that your center was just inches above his. You didn’t miss the slight hitch in his breath, the way his eyes widened ever just so behind that spider mask. “Have a bad day? Some criminals get the better of you?”

You knew, in a way, that he wasn’t going to do it himself, so you took his wide, warm hands in your own and rested them on your hips. They stayed there for a long, long moment. Then they moved not down, toward your ass and your core, but up. They felt tentatively along your middle, his thumb tickling your stomach just a bit, and stopped just below your breasts before sliding back down again.

“No,” he replied in a low, raspy voice. He paused when you slowly lowered yourself so that you were seated on his lap now, your hips pressed against his. You felt his thigh twitch beneath your ass. “Pretty good day, actually. Just… heard some bad news.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

You hummed, letting your fingers drag along the delicate skin of his throat, just barely shaded with stubble. “What can I do to make you feel better?”

You expected him to hesitate, then make a request. Strip for him. Dance. Whisper in his ear all the things you wanted to do to him.

But there came none of that. Instead of touching you like you were used to, his hands - which were still respectfully resting against your middle - slowly slid across to your back and gently, gingerly, pulled you against him so that you were lying against his front. So that your chests were pressed together. So that you were slumped comfortably in his lap. He held you there against him, one hand on the small of your back and the other on the base of your neck.

“Just this,” he murmured.

You were stunned, to say the least. This was not the first time a customer just wanted to hold, or be held, or anything of the sort. But even then, those touches were desperate and needy, clingy and awkward. But this was everything they were not. This was gentle and considerate, kind and… romantic. Like he didn’t just need to be touched, he needed to be touched by you.

When you inhaled you thought you recognized the scent you breathed in. But with his body so close and his hands holding you so securely, you dismissed it like a runaway thought.

“Here.” Spiderman pulled you back for just a second, raising his fingers up to pull at the ribbon keeping your mask on your face, mindful not to catch any hair. Your breath hitched when he set the monarch mask aside, your face now bare as you stared down at him. This was against the rules. You were not supposed to do this. Customers were not supposed to see your face, know you like this.

But this?

This was far beyond any rules.

Your lips parted and your heart thundering in your chest so loud you were sure he could hear it, you found your own fingers slowly reaching up to graze at his porcelain mask. Your fingertips grazed the edge, began to hitch it up…

He caught your wrist in a hold that was so gentle, yet so commanding, that you immediately let your hand drop. But there was no venomous feeling there, no edge. Just a warning. A soft, quiet warning.

Exhaling, you wrapped your arms around his neck and settled yourself against his wide, powerful frame. Your face nestled itself into the crook of his neck, your chin resting atop his shoulder, as his hands came back to hold your form against his. One of his thumbs glided across your shoulder blade, sending goosebumps rising across your skin.

Gripping onto his jacket collar, you opened your eyes to look at yourself in the mirror that faced the back of the chair. Here you couldn’t see the mask over Spiderman’s face, just his slicked-back hair and his broad shoulders keeping you caged against him. His head tilted toward yours, your temples resting together.

For a moment, in your exhaustion and fatigue, you thought he resembled someone else you knew. But you let the thought pass, instead shutting your eyes and basking in his soft, gentle, perfect touch.

tags: @mooomeadows @twentysomethingwereyote @screamforyani @fangirlreice7 @axdjelx @ornamentalnecromancy @faust-pda @ilikethemoon28 @mrm-pachypoda @wadafrick @natthernandez @bakgoktski @soupsexsunsalutationsss @roxannarichie @lovagirlxxx @soggyeyeballsss @yoyoyoyoyo55555 @sophipet @quaintii @lavnderluv @cookiezxx @euphorica @its-a-polyglot @nicalysm @maxi-ride @exzidss @crappwr0m @femme-is-dead @bitch-onthemoon @hier—soir @takayomi @kirke-is-my-name @d1lf-loverrr @might-be-a-rat @brooks-lin @maki-z @bookfreakk @act1839 @dollscircus @sleepingaway @anxietybutterfly @bioticboot @mxkn @freeingrebels @digitalcreature404 @aimee777 @hunnaye @blahbahed @cyanide-mustard @impettywhenyouare @mental-illness-is-my-friend @bobfood

haymitch saying “I don’t drink” hahaha so funny I have a gun in my mouth

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