*You Have Lost Omnicorn Seeing Privileges*

Rb for a broader net

the bridge troll when i refuse to answer his riddle:

Have I Reminded You Recently About the No Dignity Classpect System?

You're welcome.

Floaties Masterpost

Ok look, I fucking loved the floaties that were being used in the community, but often found myself squinting at how tiny, and often times hard to read they were (for me at least).  So, seeing as I’m a grumpy old dude, and my eyes are easily strained, I started making my own. Bigass, and much easier to read! Also, nice and consistent! Which I guess is a bit of a pet peeve of mine. This is the Masterpost for all the Floaties I’ve made! Examples:

Full collection (700+ in seperate categories on seperate posts to keep tumblr from dying) in the read more section. Free to use as long as you give credit and don’t edit. Made by me -> @shintari​ / @ambivalence-and-torpor​

Can’t find what you Want? Want custom floaties like these? Check out my Floatie Commissions

Keep reading

You...

Wait 3 of you? Why is there 3 of you? And adult you?

“Done. They’re dead.” “But… I just hired you!” “That’s how time travel works, partner.”

choose your side

i really want to get a shrimp tattoo and i cannot get this one incredibly specific scenario out of my head

"Take a Homestuck quiz? I'd rather be peer pressured into heroin."

dear fucking god i accidentally hit my capslock when recording this one to the notepad so it looked like

"take a hOMESTUCK-"

for a second and jumpscared me

Askbox is currently closed as I work my way through these older asks

This one? @pmseymourva

I'll have you know I'm tangentially associated with internet micro celebrities with a slightly larger following than I.

💎 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗺! Volcanic Ocarina
Wondrous item, rare ___

This stone ocarina is always hot to the touch. When playing it, harmless molten rock spews upward from any uncovered finger hole.

There are three magical melodies that can be played on the ocarina, which each create a different volcanic effect. Once a melody has been played, the ocarina shouldn’t be used to play one of these melodies again until the next dawn. Each time it is used to play such a melody again before then, the ocarina has a cumulative 20 percent chance of not working and dissolving into molten rock in your hands, destroying itself and dealing 5d10 fire damage to you when this occurs.

𝙀𝙧𝙪𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙈𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙙𝙮. When you play this melody, choose four different points on the ground that you can see within 60 feet of you. A pillar of flame bursts upward from each point, provided that the ocarina’s sound can reach it. A creature within 5 feet of each point must make a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw. A creature takes 6d6 fire damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one. A creature in the area of more than one of these eruptions is affected only once.

𝙈𝙤𝙡𝙩𝙚𝙣 𝙈𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙙𝙮. When you play this melody, choose a stone or earthen structure that you can see within 60 feet of you. If the sound of the ocarina can reach the structure, it harmlessly dissolves into a pile of molten earth, which immediately cools at the end of the effect. The dissolved area of the structure can be no larger than 10 feet in any dimension.

𝙎𝙚𝙞𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙘 𝙈𝙚𝙡𝙤𝙙𝙮. When you play this melody, choose a point on the ground that you can see within 60 feet of you. The ground then shakes, like an earthquake, in a 20-foot-radius circle that’s centered on that point….

… Continued in the comment below! ___

✨ Patrons get huge perks! Access this and hundreds of other item cards, art files, and compendium entries when you support The Griffon’s Saddlebag on Patreon for less than $10 a month!