I Can Domesticate Him

Sometimes, for me, living is tryna fish my soul out of whatever dark wormhole of my overthinking brain it disappeared into.

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His dinner was late.

Thanks everyone for the prompts! I decided to try and knock these all out in one go:

@thegirlwhotrashcans: remember, you asked for it. au, nobody dies, wwx and yanli bodyswap. they’re married to lwj and jzx. 100% crack. bonus points if jin zixuan completely loses his shit and lwj looks very calm but loses his sh*t after everything is back to normal

@alightbuthappypen: Competency kink! One or both of them (when I say ‘them’ I mean wangxian obvs, I know what I’m about) getting hot and bothered about the other being amazing. On a nighthunt maybe? Or anywhere else that strikes your fancy!

@hearteyeswangji: WRITE MORE P*RN

I think I can manage that. With a few tweaks, accidental seriousness, and broad, ridiculous fix-its tacked on. I have no idea how long this might be. Let’s try it in installments? I’ll reblog and add on as I go. Maybe it’ll be fun. We’ll find out.

Disclaimer that this is just gonna go for it with no revising and no beta readers, so pls do not hold me to any conceivable standard of coherency thx

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WILL INCLUDE: wangxian, xuanli, let jyl and lwj be friends agenda, canon divergence, fix-it, everybody lives, arranged marriage, bodyswap, light angst, getting together, Attempts at Comedy, eventual (light?) wangxian smut

The Sunshot Campaign has just been won. Everyone goes over to Jin Guangshan’s house after the Nightless City banquet, to Negotiate Stuff, and some hasty political marriages happen resulting in Xuanli Wedded Bliss and Wangxian Un-confessed Wedded Tension. Then, suddenly…a curse befalls our brave heroes.

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Wei Wuxian wakes suddenly, feeling odd. He’s sleeping on his stomach for one thing, which is not his usual, but he feels warm and comfortable enough that he doesn’t think it strange. But then there is the scent of peonies and gardenias, which is both familiar and alien, somehow. It makes him open his eyes. 

Which is when he sees the hand before him on the bolster. It is slender and elegant. Small. Pale. Familiar? Wearing a jade bangle. He pushes himself up a bit, startled, only to see the hand move when he does. 

The hand. Is his hand. He stares at it. The shock of it, coupled with the early hour, leave his mind working very slowly.

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Y'all when I tell you how I SOBBED. It's literally 8:23 am and I leave for work in bout 15 mins. Instead of getting ready, I elected to CRY OVER THIS. It's good. Incredibly good. Everything about it - immaculate. If I'm late, 1000% worth it, no regrets.

Time for more sex-cursed Lan Wangji!

a messy, self-indulgent spree imported from twt and lightly edited

explicit, wangxian, 9k, canon divergence fix-it

mild dubcon because of the nature of sex curses (but like, they do their best to communicate around it), and cw for brief thoughts of self harm, no other warnings

This curse’s origin is mysterious, perhaps politically guided. Someone is trying to throttle Gusu Lan’s alliance prospects by removing Lan Wangji’s stellar marriageability after Sunshot. It works, after a fashion.

Wei Wuxian is in the Burial Mounds, farming and hardening his heart as the resentment worsens his health, subsisting on memories of Lan Wangji’s single visit.

Lan Wangji is at home in Gusu, pining away while they rebuild the Cloud Recesses.

One day, he begins to burn up with unexplained fever.

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Heeyyy Death. You looking hella fine in that tattered, black robe man. No, no listen - I’m dead serious. Is that new? No? That makes sense, retro is making one helluva comeback. Anyway, how’s it hangin? Everything aight? Or...no, no okay - yeah, humans can be pretty bitchy. Speaking of hanging and bitchy people actually, I think you should eliminate some of those rude ass mofos, especially the unnaturally old ones. The issue is that they think they're so high and mighty, they feel like they can even defy Death. You gotta show them what's up. You are Death, with a motherfucking capital D. Ain't no ho, no matter how bitchy they are, can fuck with you. You gotta smack the shit out of these people and pry their overly long lives outta their wrinkly ass hands. And you're accomplishin everything at once. There are more resources, we can actually eat right without selling our kidneys, balance is restored. And most importantly, you get your revenge. You get to put your enemies in their graves, scare the shit outta people, and get your due respect, man. It's a perfect plan. You got this, you hear me. All you gotta do is grab your wicked scythe and smack one of those assholes in the face with it. It's a done deal. I got all the faith in you man, fuck's sake - you're Death. Aight? Good, hit me up when the first one's six feet under.

Humanity has found a way to live forever: Death is actually super insecure and every time he shows up to take a life they bully him for his fashion sense and tell him that nobody likes him. Now Death has lost his confidence and has completely stopped doing his job. The world is getting overpopulated and it’s a serious problem. You have been chosen to give Death a pep talk and help him in regaining his confidence so the world can be in balance once more.

My dude, how talented are you. 10/10 plotlines, BEST OF LUCK

I really want to read your original series now. Alas, I don't know German. Can you tell us about your other original novels? (Congrats on 100 followers btw, you deserve it!)

Thank you <3

I'll tell you a secret ;)

I started to write english fanfiction so I can train to someday translate my own books into english (because getting out of the german market by just hoping a publisher likes my books so much they will hire a translator won't work)

My two other planned out novels: trigger warnings: depression, ableist language

1. A book about a japanese singer (it takes place in Japan) who has an accident and looses his voice. It is medically a bit inaccurate for the drama of it, because technically even without vocal cords you can learn to speak with different techniques. He sinks into a life crisis because all he ever wanted was singing and making music. He is able to play a lot of instruments, but his voice was the most important one to him. On his first night out after he came out of the hospital, still with bandages around his throat and one day away from the big announcement that he won't be able to sing anymore, he goes to a bar. It's ill adviced, because he is still on meds and the alkohol burns down his throat but he needs it. He just sits there, until this strange barkeeper starts to give him company. Suzumu (the singer) isn't skeptical at first, but when more and more strange things happen he just decides to ignore it all. He is good in ignoring things, it's kind of a trait you need to learn in the show business. It's okay, because Akira (the 'barkeeper') is gruff but friendly and honestly the only thing that keeps him from loosing himself completely. To top it all off the Yakuza wants to buy the building he is living in and he has a very bad confrontation with the one who calls him a cripple. He sells his apartment to them in the end and moves in temporarily with Akira, but being a fallen star means a lot of media press and soon the rumors start that he moved in with one of the most infamous members of the Yakuza. And shit, now he has dragged Akira - the only person who doesn't treat him like an invalid or a tragedy - down with him and that rabbit whole and he can't have it. Akira is strangely unfazed by it all but while Suzumu is starting to build a new carreer and getting back on his feet, Akira has to deal with people who think that having a boyfriend makes him weak.

triggerwarnings: mentions of OCD

2. There is a world right besides the human one. Liam can't understand how they managed to hide that world from humans, but they managed and he is one of the people who makes sure that it stays that way. Liam is a demon summoner. He hunts demons to devour their souls and use them to temporarily borrow their abilities. He partly transforms into the demons he uses, and the longer he uses their abilities, the longer the deformations of his body last. It is made even more difficult because the demon's souls are still alive things that he keeps trapped in his own body and they will use every weakness to get free. So over generations of demon summoners there is one trait that developed that stuck with them and keeps them alive: Every demon summoner has more or less severe OCD. They have special trainers and therapy to manage that, to make it their inherent strength instead of something that stresses them out to a point that it kills them. It helps them do rituals, drawing perfect lines for magic glyphs and to never forget their meditation or other training that keeps the souls in their bodies in check. It makes their life simultaneously easier and more complicated. Besides demon summoners there are 'normal' mages, too. Mages usually are hyperactive, always moving, because their magic energy isn't fitted for their human body. It give them too much energy they have to burn through the day. While demon summoners are mostly cold and calculated, always the perfectionists, mages seem like hyperactive children that get bored really quick, can't be punctual to save their lives and who love adrenaline kicks. It's unnecessary to say that these two groups don't get along very well. Liam works for the magical government and his main job is to keep the magical rebels in check. The rebels are an unorganized magical group who think that magic should be made public. They build small groups and organizations throughout the world and Liam is one of the people who destroy these groups. Mostly by imprisoning them. One day, though, he gets a new case. It isn't a group or an organization, it is one person. Joel is an unregistered mage. Something that usually doesn't exist and no one knows where he came from. On top of that he has powers no mage usually has and he is overall different. Calmer, more collected. Liam is the one who has to make sure Joel won't switch to the rebel side and gets registered. The problem? Joel doesn't have a clue that he is a mage and that magic exists. So Liam tricks him into moving in with him and disguises himself as a normal human being, which needs lots and lots of magic energy which he has to fill up by constantly eating, meditating, and other things. He has to try to seem normal, too. Means he can't start to yell at his new roommate when he doesn't sort the groceries right or doesn't put things back where they belong. It's stressfull, dangerous, hard and fuck if Joel isn't the most interesting being Liam ever has set eyes on.

I FORGOT SOME SORRY

Last series completed (book): I think it's actually AFTG, whoops

Currently working on: Feature piece for a magazine, in the interview process. And also AFTG fics, but in the daydreaming, tryna figure it out process

Tag game

rules: tag nine people you’d like to catch up with or get to know better

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Also fanfiction be a thing I write when I’m in the mood; hence how old this fucking is but it’s been a whole minute since I put my shit up on tumblr

speed

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