Collage…

In case you need it for your D&D games or siege actions— here's what the ballistic trajectory of a flaming pumpkin fired out of a trebuchet looks like.

ya’ll were really gonna let me live my life in ignorance thinking mr. rogers was straight???

I know the fandom mostly agrees that Jason is that one always unemployed sibling in the family, but let me offer you a slightly enhanced concept - unemployed sibling Jason, who is the busiest sibling in the family.

No one can get hold of him. Like, ever. And it is not like he is lying, he is genuinely always has something else to do! Something random and unexpected, and, honestly, all his family can think is: what the hell?

Bruce, frowning: Remind me again, why the dinner in the circle of the family today doesn't suit your... schedule?

Jason, shrugging: I have a book club evening in the nursing home. We are discussing Margaret Atwood's Penelopiad tonight. Can't miss it. Also, Jennet-

Alfred, confused: Who is Jennet?

Jason: One of the old ladies in the nursing home, duh... Anyway, yeah, Jennet is having a birthday. She would be hella mad if her favourite grandson missed it, you know?

Bruce: ...Jason, you are not her-

Jason: (leaves)

Dick: Hey, wanna join me for tomorrow morning's training?

Jason, sighs: Sounds nice, but I have classes tomorrow.

Dick, confused: Classes? Since when you are enrolled in college?

Jason: Oh, no. I am a substitute teacher in one of the school's around.

Dick: WHAT-

Damian, calling Jason in the middle of the day: Can you pick me up from school? Others are busy, there is an emergency in the town.

Jason: Damn, sorry, kid, but I am not in the country right now. By the way, do you want to talk with your mother?

Damian: ...What that supposed to mean? Where are you?

Jason: I was planning to visit All-Caste, but first decided to meet up with Talia. I am kinda in Egypt right now, anyway.

Damian: ...

Tim, already used to Jason's constant busy status, sighing: I bet you won't agree if I call you on the lunch tomorrow?

Jason: Uh, no. I have plans. But if you tag along with me, we can get lunch together later.

Tim, surprised: ...Okay. What do you have tomorrow? Knitting club? A shift in library?

Jason: Nah, graduation ceremony.

Tim: Right, you are a substitute teacher.

Jason: No, no. My graduation ceremony. I am getting my PHD in literature.

Tim: SINCE FUCKING WHEN-

I'm autistic and I currently feel like shit checklist

Hi there. Are you autistic? Do you currently feel like shit and don't know why? Try this checklist to see if you can Fix The Problem!

When was the last time you used the bathroom? If you answered "I don't know" or "at least 3 hours ago", go now!

Do you need a drink? Go get one if you don't have one in front of you.

When was the last time you ate? If you haven't eaten yet today, consider eating A Meal, or perhaps A Snack. Something is better than nothing, eat whatever you feel able to!

Is there something in your immediate surroundings that is bothering you? If the light is too bright, turn it off. If there is an annoying sound, make the sound stop or reduce your ability to hear it (earplugs, headphones, etc.). If your clothes are bothering you, change them.

Is your space messy? Pick one area of your room and clean it up as best you can. Clean your whole room if you have the energy!

When was the last time you did An Activity? Scrolling on social media doesn't count. Try actively doing something fun! Play a game you like, read a book, make something, or go for a walk.

When was the last time you Spoke to a Person? Consider talking to a person you like if it has been a while.

How long has it been since you did something Special Interest related? Make some time to do that today. Infodump to a friend, have a nice long research session, look at related images or gifs, make art about it, whatever works best for you!

Try stimming actively! Put on some music and dance, spin in circles, go to the park and use the swings!

If you still feel like shit after trying all of these things, you might be tired or sick. Go to bed early and get some rest. Hopefully you will feel better tomorrow!

Hope that helps :)

There are a few 'Jason Stayed with the All Caste' stories floating around, but I think it might be funnier if an All Hands On Deck situation happened and Talia had to join him in Stabbing Cthulhu, so they dropped Damien off without explanation and Bruce only found out about Jason X months later when Robin II's old 'SOS World Ending Threat' code was entered into a com system somewhere.

Cue Damien crowing "I told you they didn't abandon me, they were preoccupied!"

i do very much like the idea of damian growing up under jason’s influence at the league and thus not giving a shit about being ‘the son of batman’. like he had jason, fuck that old guy who apparently donated sperm. so when talia sends damian to bruce to train so they could go off on other work its less damian being like ‘i am the blood son it is my right to eventually inherit the cowl’ and more like ‘…..:/ man ahki was right. batman aint shit’ and bruce is genuinely just so bewildered hes just ‘what. wait what.’

they’re training in the batcave and bruce is like ‘im going to show you this move on how to non-lethally take out an attacker’ and damian is texting jason from the other side of the room just ‘no thanks. i’ve been taught everything i need to know already.’

‘what do you mean by that’

‘when you run out of bullets, throw the gun into the crotch of whoever is left.’

‘excuse me?’

‘i was also told to say a cool catchphrase every time i cock the gun. ahki gave me a list to memorise.’

‘why do you have a gun’

bruce has no idea who this child is but he’s starting to get concerned about who the fuck raised him before he got to the manor. jason is cackling from 2 continents away

I FOUND IT AGAIN WHOOP WHOOP @rabiessnail

LOOK BUDDY. I can do a lava moat. I can do a moat composed entirely of boiling acid. With certain provisions for the animal welfare act, I can even do a piranha infested moat! But I cannot. provide. all three services simultaneously in the same godsdamned moat. You call any contractor in this industry they will tell you the same!!!!!!!