“I Have So Much To Say To You That L Am Afraid I Shall Tell You Nothing.”

“I have so much to say to you that l am afraid I shall tell you nothing.”

Fyodor Dostoevsky

More Posts from Humanity-in-the-absurd-hour and Others

"We have art in order not to die of the truth..."

 Heart Mind To Mind Conversations 🎀
 Heart Mind To Mind Conversations 🎀
 Heart Mind To Mind Conversations 🎀
 Heart Mind To Mind Conversations 🎀

heart mind to mind conversations 🎀

“How amazing it is to find someone who wants to hear about all the things that go on in your head.”

— Nina LaCour / Hold Still (via bnmxfld)

what doesn't kill you makes you weird at intimacy

Tiles, Gustav Klimt

Tiles, Gustav Klimt

In deciding what I am, I’ve ruled out cat, vulture, shoe,
a sadist who tortures people to death in a Syrian hospital,
a president who separates families at the border,
a handful of purple irises at the beginning of the path
to heaven. Is there memory in the shade of a tree
of a lynching fifty years ago, when I was nine? And do I love
that tree? Love the sinner, not the sin. Forgive the electricity,
not the singeing of genitals. The more I know about human nature
the more I plan to be tall grass in a field. Until then
I’ll tell my wife I love her in Toronto and Blacksburg and bed,
in pajamas and bluejeans and song, in theory and fact and dream.
I will not gouge a man’s eye out, I promise, yet the eye is out,
the man is dead, and the geese I’m listening to have no idea
that we’re as wild as the coyotes that would tear them apart.
If given a choice I’d not choose to be human. If given a choice
how to be human, I’d say like a glass of water. While I have
no answers to the questions I don’t know to ask, I can love my wife
in Detroit, in general, in detail, in vain, in spite, in depth,
in the shallow light of the moon, in contrast to hating myself,
in sympathy and in stealth, in time as a ghost and right now
as a poet wondering if surgeons, during a transplant,
tell the shivering and recycled heart it is loved. I assume so,
but I’ve never asked a heart on its second time around,
Were you christened, were you blessed, are you worth
all this trouble?

remedy by Bob Hicok

Dearest Swirly Brain,

Dearest swirly brain,

I know that most days you hate yourself.

You hate feeling so out of control, so burdensome.

Dark fog and rapid heat consume every fold, every corner.

You want peace, or relief.

But dearest swirly brain, you are more.

You are a culmination of decades of feelings and LIFE.

Vibrancy and light and contrast.

You are always moving.

Evolving. Changing. Learning.

You are so wildly and authentically human.


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[ID: A timeline labeled "Hyperfixation timeline". All of the font is Comic Sans. Each point of the timeline points to a box with an accompanying doodle.

The first point of the timeline is labeled "so much yapping and theorizing and connecting the dots and—", accompanied by an unhinged person at a corkboard. Their pupils are red and staring at the viewer. The label and line on the timeline is also red. The line on the timeline goes up sharply.

The second point of the timeline is labeled "I can't believe I did all of that. That was embarrassing.", accompanied by the person staring awkwardly at the viewer. The line on the timeline goes down sharply. The text and line are black. 

The third point of the timeline is labeled "Oh god fuck I can feel it coming back", accompanied by the person holding their chest as if they were having a heart attack. The label is black, but the line is a dark red. The line creeps upwards again, but then goes back down. 

The fourth point of the timeline is labeled "Haha that was actually just a bluff", accompanied by the person laughing. The line is flat. The text and line are black. 

The fifth and final point of the timeline is labeled "hyperfixation demon", accompanied by the person looking upwards at the timeline in fear as the hyperfixation demon (drawn in red) lurks behind them. The label has an arrow pointing to the hyperfixation demon. The line and label are in red, with the line going up sharply again. /END ID]

What I mean when I do not control the hyperfixation.

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humanity-in-the-absurd-hour - Humanity in the Absurd Hour
Humanity in the Absurd Hour

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